A/N: Just thought I'd post this chapter a little early as a Christmas gift to all of you. Thank you for the amazing support! I look forward to all of your sweet reviews and lovely thoughts on these chapters! Thank you for taking this journey with me. Merry Christmas to each and every one of you and and may your day be blessed and happy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters used in this story. I'm just borrowing them for this heartfelt tale.

Battles of Love and Life

"How many hundreds of thousands of fingers brushing against each other does it take to make love?"

-Jonathan Safran Foer

November 7th, 2015

Kate wakes the next morning feeling lighter than she has in a while. The memory of Castle's story, the way he pulled love from every painful memory of their fourth year together wraps her in a warm embrace. She hasn't decided which chapter is her favorite yet, but she trembles with excitement over the chapters to come.

She's surprised that her phone hasn't rang with the news of a body drop as she pulls on a pair of gray dress pants and dark purple turtleneck to hide the bruises Parks left on her neck. The last thing she needs is another suspect thinking he can get the best of her. Castle meets her near the door with a smile and open arms that are holding her coat out for her to slip in to.

Kate can count on one hand the number of times that Castle has woken up before her since they got together. This morning was one of them. He's exceptionally chipper as he opens the door and follows her out. She lets him out in front of the coffee shop and he tells her to go on to the precinct. He likes the fresh air of the morning, the cold November wind against his face as he carries their hot drinks towards the precinct.

The elevator dings not long after she's settled in at her desk and Castle strolls towards her with a wide grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about this morning?" she asks as she takes her cup from him and sips the hot, sweet liquid.

"Why wouldn't I be happy? Look at my life."

He grins and plops down in his chair, waving at Ryan and Espo as he does. He thinks he's gotten away with whatever he's hiding, but Kate isn't buying it.

"Are you sure there isn't another reason that you're in such an exceptionally good mood?"

Castle only nods before standing and going over to talk to the boys. Kate crosses her arms and watches him for a few minutes before logging into her computer and checking her email.

He makes sure to keep his back to his wife as he discusses his plans with the boys. He'd come up with the idea about an hour after Kate had fallen asleep while reading. It had been a challenge to creep out of their room without waking her and he'd taken a long shot when he called Gates at such a late hour. Surprisingly the stern Captain of the 12th Precinct had listened to his request and given him a polite answer before hanging up. In fact, his phone call is the reason that Kate's phone hadn't rang early this morning when a body drop had been called in.

He waits patiently, discussing random sports with the boys while he knows that Kate is suspicious. But he doesn't have to wait long because just as he's started planning a poker night with Ryan and Espo, Captain Gates steps out of her office and clears her throat.

"Detective Beckett, may I have a word with you?"

Castle whips around to face Kate but somehow manages to hide his smirk as she throws him a look and stands to follow the Captain into her office. All three men lean forward, straining to watch Kate's reaction as she speaks to Gates.

Castle wrings his hands together nervously as he waits for Kate to emerge from the office, hoping that she likes the idea as much as he wants her to. He holds his breath when she swings the door open and strides back towards her desk with no expression on her face. He thinks she's going to sit, but she bypasses her desk and heads towards the break room, stopping right when she gets to the door to turn and look at him.

"Castle, can I talk to you?" she asks before turning away and walking in to room.

He glances at the boys before standing and following Kate into the break room.

"Shut the door," she requests when he steps into the room.

He does so and then turns to face her once more.

"Kate, I…"

But he doesn't get to finish his sentence because suddenly she's up against him, pushing his back against the door and sealing her lips over his. She devours his mouth, slicks her tongue over his in a fierce battle until she has to take a breath, separating their lips with a loud pop.

"A real honeymoon? I can't believe you managed to pull this off without me knowing about it."

"So, you like the idea?"

"I love it, Castle. You know how much I was looking forward to our honeymoon, well, both honeymoons that we planned. I hated that things kept coming up every time we would try to re-plan one."

He smiles and wraps his arms around her. "I think we deserve a real honeymoon, don't you, Mrs. Castle?"

She mirrors his smile and nods. "Yes, yes we do. But how did you get Gates to agree on such short notice?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets," he says with a wink.

She shakes her head and then pulls him away from the door, opening it so that they can walk back to her desk.

"When do we leave?" she asks as she sits back down in front of her computer.

"Tomorrow morning," he answers.

Another brilliant smile lights up her face and she powers off her computer, reaches for his hand again as they stand. "Well then, I'd say we better get home and start packing."

He lets her pull him towards the elevator, waving bye to the boys as they pass them.

"See you in a week, boys," she throws over her shoulder as they step onto the elevator and the doors slide closed.

They spend the majority of the day packing and talking about the island get-away that Castle has planned for them. He orders Chinese for them while Kate packs the last of her things and zips her suitcase. She strolls into the kitchen just as the doorbell rings and Castle takes their food from the delivery man, offering him a generous tip before shutting the door.

They eat while watching a Temptation Lane episode that Castle has saved on his DVR and he smiles at the sheer joy that radiates from his wife. When they're finished she takes their trash to the kitchen and then meets Castle in the bathroom for a quick shower before they crawl into bed.

They're both too excited to sleep so Kate rolls towards Castle, rests her head on his chest and clears her throat expectantly.

"I suppose that means you're ready for the next chapter?" he asks between laughs.

"I'm too excited to sleep, but perhaps a bedtime story could help me relax."

He smiles and kisses the top of her head. "I know just the story."

Year five was one of the best years of my life. It all started when I woke up next to you sometime during the night after two rounds of the best sex I'd ever had. I couldn't get enough of you and you must have felt the same way, because before I could wake you with my mouth you were rolling me onto my back, straddling my hips and initiating round three.

The next time I woke I was alone in the bed, but I knew that even if I had dreamed it all that my life had been changed. You padded into my room barefoot, and wearing only my white shirt, which was held together by only two buttons. You were so radiant, probably more beautiful than I had ever seen you. You looked happy, happy in such a way that I could see the weight that had been lifted from your shoulders.

I was nervous to ask you if you wanted the thing between us to be more than one night, terrified that you'd walk away from everything that I wasn't willing to let go of. You reassured me with more than just your answer. I wanted that entire day to be about us. I wanted to press you back into the mattress and paint my love across your skin over and over again. But the world had other plans.

As if being interrupted by mother and Alexis wasn't bad enough, we were thrown back into a case that I just wanted to hide you from. Finding Smith, the safe, the file, it all linked together giving me a small hope that we might have the upper hand for once. And then Maddox found the file and although we didn't have to worry about him anymore, we lost our only form of evidence.

You left me in your bed that night to fight another battle on your own. I would have been hurt, but you threatened Bracken in a way that I never could have. You bought us time.

Pretending that we weren't together at the precinct was exceptionally difficult. Once I had touched you and held you and tasted you, I wanted to do it every second of the day. Agreeing to go on that date with Kristina Coterra was just another part of hiding our relationship from everyone. But when she showed up at my loft and shoved me down on my couch, I wanted nothing more than to be with you.

You showed up, saw her on top of me and the jealousy that poured out of you was adorable. You know this now, but I feel the need to repeat that your lips were the only ones I wanted on mine. It took you a few hours, several apologies and half a bottle of mouthwash for you to forgive me after I came to your apartment that night. But the second your lips pressed against mine again, everything but you and I was forgotten.

I was so excited to take you away to the Hamptons for the weekend, desperate to have some alone time with you. You were hesitant when we first got there, the newness of our relationship reminding you of our pasts. I wanted nothing more than to prove to you that you were my always, but murder had other plans. We spent almost our entire weekend solving a case that wasn't our own. But the end was more than worth the wait as you climbed over my body and proceeded to wipe all thoughts out of my mind until only you remained.

When Tyson framed me for murder my greatest fear wasn't that I might die, it was that you might believe the evidence and give up on me. You never did. When you were putting the cuffs on me you looked so devastated and I knew that somehow we had to make it through. You placed the cuffs carefully onto my wrists and you dropped your head, fighting the emotions, but everything about your body screamed 'I love you'. And even though I knew he wasn't dead when I shot him over the side of the bridge, I hoped that he'd disappear and leave us alone. I wanted nothing more than to forget about him and embrace my life with you.

Our fist dinner with our parents was a bit of a disaster. The tensions between my mother and your father created some between us as well. On the run with the witness we were protecting, we continued to fight until we realized that we didn't even know why we were fighting. You said our relationship didn't make sense on paper and I reminded you that it didn't matter. I was serious because you meant more to me than any other woman I could have had. I didn't want the world, Kate. I only wanted you.

When I kissed you and walked out of that basement we'd been hiding in, I was terrified that it would be the last time I did. And when the witness we'd been protecting turned out to be the murderer things took a turn that neither of us saw coming. Luckily, I figured it out before he arrived and emptied his clip into the car. You looked so terrified, but the moment you laid eyes on me your entire expression changed. When you ran into my arms you whispered that you thought you'd lost me and I replied with 'never'. I meant it.

Our first Christmas together was a bit strained. I was so excited to share all of my traditions with you that I never stopped to think about what Christmas was to you. When you told me about your last Christmas with your mom it broke my heart. I just wanted you to find the magic of the season again. You showed up at my door just as I was on my way to find you. Seems we both had the same thought. I kissed you in front of my tree and that night, wrapped together in my bed, we created new memories and traditions.

Probably my biggest mistake that year was letting Meredith stay with us at the loft. I was so happy to have you staying with me and then I ruined it by letting my ex-wife weasel her way in. It wasn't fair to put you in that position and I never meant for you to feel threatened. But when you kissed me after that dinner with her, claiming that you liked me a little bit more, my heart soared. Although you hadn't said the words yet, you poured 'I love you' into that kiss.

You were forced to protect Bracken later that year, saving him from the explosion that would have taken his life. You became even more extraordinary to me that day. And when we fell into bed that night, I let you know just how extraordinary you were while erasing the events of the day from your memory with the press of my tongue.

I spent weeks searching for those earrings that I got you for our first Valentine's Day. I was so excited to see your face when you opened them. I could have kicked myself when I realized that I'd slipped them into the wrong coat pocket. When we got back to your place that night you gave me a gift that made the disappointment of the day fall away. When you offered me that drawer you offered me so much more. A permanent space in your apartment meant I also held a permanent place in your heart. And once you helped me undo those stupid cufflinks you proceeded to prove just how much of your heart was mine.

When Alexis was kidnapped you were my rock. I tried to hold it together, but I quickly spiraled out of control. I was harsh with you at times and yet you still stood by me. I opted to leave you here and go on my own to get her back and you forgave me. I'd never been so happy to see you when I brought her back. I held you in my arms that night and whispered apologies in your ear. After the fifth or sixth one you silenced me with the press of your lips.

You found my bucket list at the end of the serial killer case. I was convinced that I was cursed from watching the video and only waiting until midnight would lift it. You started reading it and realized that being with you was number one. You turned to look at me with wide eyes filled with love and I wanted nothing more than to kiss you, but I needed to be sure we weren't cursed first. You picked up my glass and reminded me of that amazing trick you do with ice. I counted down the last seconds until midnight and then followed you into the bedroom. The ice wasn't the only thing that melted that night.

The birthday gift you gave me that year topped any gift that I've ever been given. You managed to fool me the entire time. I cursed my broken leg and crutches as I hobbled towards you to give you a kiss because I wanted to do so much more than that. We had to be creative that night in the bedroom, but I think I still managed to un-wrap you pretty well.

Things got a bit rocky for us after that. You were requested to protect Eric Vaughn and you'd been trying to ask me where we were headed, but we seemed to be tiptoeing around that conversation. I was jealous of him and rightfully so when he tried to kiss you after asking if you and I were serious. I just wanted you to be happy so I vowed to make sure that you were.

The worst day of that year happened when you stepped onto a trigger sensor of a bomb. I stayed with you, became your bomb buddy and did everything I could to take your mind off of what was happening. But the moment I had to walk away from you, leave you standing there knowing you were about to be blown up, broke me. You called to me as I turned to walk from the room and for the first time you spoke the words 'I love you' out loud. I fought back tears as I repeated the words to you because there was no way I was going to lose you after everything we'd been through.

There was no other choice for me then but to come back to you and figure out the code. I wasn't letting you go. It came down to seconds as I typed in the code and I held my breath, praying that it was right.

Your legs trembled as you stepped off the plate and into my arms and I held you like it was the first and last time. We held onto each other desperately that night and fell asleep without an inch of space between us. And since that day we've said the words 'I love you' as if they're the most natural thing. Telling you that I love you is one of my favorite things to do.

The end of that year brought one of the worst fights we'd ever had as a couple. Your job offer in D.C. was an amazing thing that you of all people deserved. But you made the choice to go to it without telling me and that made me feel as if I didn't matter to you. When we fought you told me that it was your life and I needed some time after that to think about what those words really meant. You were right, it was your life, but you were my life and I wasn't letting you go unless you told me that you didn't want me anymore.

I sat on the swings where we'd met so many times—had so many serious conversations and thought about how much we'd been through. I knew there had to be a reason that we had made it to where we were. I knew my feelings for you were so much more than any I'd ever had for anyone else. I wanted you for the rest of my life and I knew that no one else would ever compare to you. I took a chance on asking you, knowing that there was a big chance you'd turn and run. You were such a fierce lover, but so easily spooked.

I was still mad when you sat down beside me, but I knew that at the end of the conversation I was going to ask you that question and be okay with your answer. So I told you what I'd been thinking about and then I got down on one knee and I asked you to marry me.

He was going to tell the rest of the proposal part with year five, but he can feel Kate's lashes fluttering against his chest. He thinks she might have drifted off before the end, but just as he's about to close his eyes her voice cuts through the silence of the room.

"I'm glad you asked me, Castle."

His grin is hid by the darkness of the bedroom. "If I would have asked you sooner, would you have said yes?" he asks.

She's quiet for a few minutes, but then she hums as if she's thinking about it. "Things work out the way they're supposed to, Babe. But the answer was always, yes."

And then she gives in to the pull of sleep and Castle lets the soft sound of her breathing lull him under with her.

Chapter five, complete.

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you!

Would love to hear your thoughts! xo