Chapter Nine: The Choice

Cait slowly opened her eyes. She was alone in the room. Looking down at her arm she could see the IV drip was still there. When they arrived back at the military base the men over ruled her when she objected to being checked out at the base hospital. After they determined she was dehydrated and exhausted they decided to keep her overnight. Before she allowed herself the luxury of a shower and sleep she had insisted they contact her family and Steve the photographer she was working with. She did not want them to worry any longer than they had to. She talked with her Mom briefly reassuring her she was really alright. The explanation given everyone was that she was targeted because she was an American and was returned unharmed because her kidnappers were afraid to go through with it.

A nurse with a cheery disposition came into her room with a breakfast tray. "Honey, I need you to eat something. Can't let you go until you do." She said as she sat it down and arranged it in front of her. She then proceeded to check her vital signs and IV.

Cait crinkled her nose up at the food. She didn't feel like eating even though she hadn't had much to eat the past few days. She was too worried about String and St. John. As weak as she was when they brought her in she could see the tension between the two. They were all fussing over her but String was very quiet more than usual. She wasn't sure but he seemed annoyed at the attention St. John was paying her. Before the doctor kicked them all out St. John managed to plant a kiss on her lips that lasted longer than it should between two people that just met. Dom seemed concerned over their behavior as well. She wondered what explanation St. John would offer for his absence and whether String would accept it and move on. Deciding that the pasty looking oatmeal was not worth the effort to eat she drifted back to sleep.

Startled by loud voices outside her door Cait woke up again. She was facing the clock on the wall. It was 1:00pm. She didn't know how tired she was. Moving from her side to her back she realized she was not alone. Her heart skipped a beat.

"You need to eat something." String said as he pointed to the tray of breakfast food still sitting there. He was nervous. Other than when they recued her he had not spoken to her since New Year's Eve when she told him she loved him.

Cait's cheeks blushed a bit. "Yeah I know. I was too tired to eat." They were interrupted by an older nurse bringing in her lunch tray. She sat it down so she could remove the untouched breakfast one.

"I'm not happy about this young lady." She scolded Cait as she sat the new tray in front of her. Turning to String for support. "Make sure she eats this or we will keep her here until she does."

String replied "Yes ma'am." He was trying to hide his laugh. He went to her side picking up the fork he speared a mouthful of the noodle casserole and put it to her mouth. "Here eat this, I'm afraid of that woman."

Cait grinned taking the fork from him inspecting the substance that was on it. She laid the fork down and decided on the Jell-O instead.

There was an awkward silence between them that they had never experienced before in their relationship. String started to speak up when he heard Dom enter the room holding a big bag of gummy bears, red her favorite ones.

"How's my favorite girl today." He took her in for a big hug.

Cait held on tight to Dom. She had missed him. When she let him go he handed her the bag of gummies. Cait was just about to open them and take out a big handful when the nurse walked back in. When she spotted the gummies in her lap she snatched them up glaring at Dom. "The patient hasn't even eaten her lunch. I'll hold on to these until she does."

Cait and String laughed at the expression on his face. "Gesh, is this a hospital or a prison?" Dom yelled loud enough for her to hear as she left.

Dom looked to String. "Where's Sinj, he said he was comin to see Cait."

String's face went from a laugh to annoyed. "He said he had to meet with his superiors this morning. He was going to brief them on his mission.

Cait looked down. She had the feeling she had blown St. Johns cover and jeopardized his position as an operative. "I hope I didn't cause him too much trouble."

"You didn't cause me any trouble, unless blowing a year's worth of undercover work is trouble." St. John came in with a big bouquet of white roses and sat them on her night table beside the bed. The nurse was right behind him.

"And what did you sneak in young man?'" Sinj looked to Dom and String as if he had no idea what was going on.

Shrugging his shoulders he replied. "Flowers?"

"Ok then, I'll leave you all alone." As she left she looked at the tray of food and then to Cait. Cait looked like a scared school girl. She picked up the fork and began to eat.

"What the hell was that all about?" St. John asked.

"Ah she thinks she's a warden or something." Dom replied. He caught the look on Strings face. It dawned on him that String and Cait had not spoken since she left. "Hey Sinj, let's say you and me go for a bad cup of joe."

"Sure Dom." St. John reached down and kissed Cait yet again. "I'll see you before I leave." He said as he tapped her nose.

String waited until the men were out of the room. "Is there something going on between you and Sinj?" He winced as he said it. Before he even finished the question he wished he hadn't asked. Cait had an utter look of shock on her face.

"What would make you think that?" She replied looking as if she had just been slapped by the question.

"I'm sorry Cait. I had no right to ask that." Feeling extremely uncomfortable and not knowing how to recover from the situation String rose to leave. "I guess I should go, I'll check in on you tomorrow."

Cait watched as he left not knowing what to say to him. She had no idea where his head was at. She thought he had to be feeling betrayed yet again by St. John, first he finds out he was alive and stayed away by choice and now that he was back he seemed to be more interested in her then reuniting with String. She knew him well enough to know he needed space to figure out his feelings.

An hour later Cait heard a knock on her door. She looked up to see St. John. "Care for some company?"

Cait nodded yes. "Where's Dom?"

"He went back to the hotel with String. I think they are going to get some dinner and sleep."

St. John pulled a chair up to her bed. "How are you doing?"

Cait sensed asking about her health was not the reason he was there. "It's not going to work you know."

"What's not going to work?"

"String will never fall for me no matter how much you try and make him jealous."

Sinj let out a loud laugh, he really liked this woman. She could see right through him. "Ok. I'll bite. Suppose you tell me all about it."

Cait adjusted herself so she sat up higher in the bed. This is going to be good St. John thought. Let's see how good she is at reading people.

"I think you had no idea or even thought about how you being gone had affected String until these past few days. You saw how guarded and lonely he is and thought if he had someone to be with, someone that loved him you could run off into the sunset again and not have to worry that you were the cause of his loneliness and hurt."

St. John wasn't feeling so smug now. He didn't expect Cait to really read him as accurately as she did. She was so dead on that if felt like she had peeled back every layer of his skin and exposed him. "Go on." He said softly.

Cait could see he was not the same confident somewhat egotistical man that had first walked in moments ago. "I'm sorry, I went too far. I didn't mean to hurt you."

St. John stood up. Cait thought he was going to leave. She hoped he would at least say goodbye to String.

"Maybe I do feel guilty and would feel better knowing he had someone in his life to take care of him. My plans weren't just all about me you know. I hope you believe that. Once I discovered he was in love with you I figured he needed a push. You're good for him Cait; I didn't need to be around the past six years to see that."

St. John walked back to her bed taking her hand in his. "I know I'm a selfish bastard for the choices I made but don't think I don't love my brother because I do."

Cait rubbed the back of his hand. Her gentle touch was soothing. "St. John, I believe you do love him but I'm not the one you need to be telling this to."

Sinj took her hand back in his. "I know. I plan on talking to him before I leave."

Cait frowned. "So you are going back to the spy world?"

"I can't change who I am any more than String can. This is who I am Cait. I'm not going to apologize for what I've done. It won't change anything that has happened. But, if I had a woman like you to come home to at night I might be tempted to give it all up."

Cait smacked his arm. "You know you're brother really knows how to charm the women as well."

Sinj turned serious. "So why hasn't he charmed you?"

She took a breath before answering. "I went to his cabin on New year's Eve. I had decided I was going to lay it all out and tell him how I feel. Turns out he didn't feel the same. String loves me but I'm not the woman of his dreams."

'Is that why you ran away?"

"I didn't run away. I decided to start a new life. What was I supposed to do after I made a fool out of myself telling him I loved him and all. Stay around another two years waiting for him to change his mind about me?"

"You walked out on him the same as I did."

"No Sinj, the difference is you belonged there and I didn't."

St. John got up to leave. "I would like to think my brother ends up with you. That would make me happy." He reached down to kiss her one last time. "You know everything I did wasn't all just to make String jealous. If things were different I would want you for myself."

As he reached the door he turned around. "Take care of yourself Cait."

"Be safe." She replied.

AVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV

Cait was in her hotel room packing her clothes. Someone was knocking on the door.

"It's open Steve, come on in." Looking up she was surprised to see it was String. "String, I thought you said your goodbyes yesterday."

String looked at her suite case's that were ready to go. "Do you really think it's a good idea to finish this shoot after all you've been through?'

Cait Laughed. "Is that what you came to tell me? I have a job to do and commitments you know."

String couldn't hold back much longer. As she passed in front of him to gather more clothes he gently took her hand. He held it for a moment as Cait stood still afraid to move not knowing where he was going with this.

"Cait, I need to tell you something. I've been doing a lot of thinking since you left…."

Knowing where he was going with this she put her hand to his mouth. "Don't String, it's best we leave things the way they are." Now she was the one that was going to hurt him. She took no pleasure in it. She looked in his eyes and saw the deep hurt her actions were causing. She now knew how he must have felt that night at the cabin.

String dropped her hand. His heart ached at her rejection. It took everything he had to finally admit he loved her and she rejected him. Now he knew how she felt when he had failed to return her love.

"Is it because of St. John?" He didn't really want to hear the answer but had to know. Cait took his hand leading him to sit on the bed where she joined him.

"String, I never have and never will love a man the way I love you. St. John has nothing to do with my decision. You and I are in a different place now. If I came back I would never know if you really loved me or just talked yourself into it because you felt bad over what has happened. I could never live with not knowing the truth."

There was another knock on the door as Steve peeked in. "You ready Cait, we need to get to our next destination for the shoot."

Cait waited for String to speak. She wanted to give him the last word. He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips then walking to the door he turned to look at her one last time. "Have a good life Cait, you deserve it."

She sat on the bed fighting back the tears. Steve stopped gathering up her bags when he noticed that something was wrong. "You ok Cait?"

Wiping the tears from her eyes she picked up the last suite case. "Yelp, everything is fine. Let's get back to work."

ALMOST THE END