TRIS POV

I wake up to the cold cement of the roof floor. How wonderful. I groan as I stand up and brush myself off. I slightly pat down my hair and make my way off the roof. I feel slightly jittery and in a down right bad mood. The news from last night hasn't seemed to warn off yet.

Once I get into the elevator, I pull out my phone. I have 17 missed calls from my dad. Great. I'm going to be in so much trouble. Plus its already 11:23. I missed my morning workout. Its all making me very anxious and only adding to the jitters. This day is just turning out so great. Once I get out of the elevator I go straight to the cafeteria.

I throw the doors open to see my dad running around, yelling at everyone. I roll my eyes and walk over to the table where the Chicago group is sitting. I hear my dad in the back ground. "Has anyone seen my daughter?! She never came home last night!" Over dramatic much? I sit down and pull a muffin in front of me. As I am picking at it I notice The entire table staring at me.

"What?" I snap at them.

"Your dad has been going crazy looking for you all morning." Zeke states. I roll my eyes and go back to my muffin. I feel a presence sit next to me but ignore it.

"Tris, where were you?" Matthew says. I look at him slightly before turning back to my muffin.

"You know damn well where I was." I say. Matthew looks at me concerned as his eye move from my trembling hands to the crazed look in my eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asks cautiously, most likely trying not to be a trigger. I slightly glance up at him.

"I found out a lot. I missed my morning workout. I've just had a lot going on." I say while shaking my head. I must look pretty distant right now as I always do when this happens. I can feel it rising up in me and the controlled breathing isn't helping one bit. I noticed I felt a little off from the second I woke up and being around people isn't helping.

"Tris, you need to calm down, okay?" Matthew says while searching my eyes, strategically keeping his hands off of me.

"I know. I'm trying. I really am." I say frantically. I try to disguise my shaking hands by tapping them on the table but that only seems to make it worse. My eyes dart around the room, landing on nothing in particular. I try to block the feeling in me but its making a hell of a fight to get out.

"Whens the last time you took them?" Matthew asks. I look up for a second before looking back down at the table. "I need you to answer my question, Tris." I shake my head for about five seconds before resigning to looking around the room again. My thoughts are a jumbled mess of a mix between hatred and me trying to keep the hatred inside.

"I trusted him. He lied to me. Kept things form me. I trusted him. Trusted him." I say while slowly shaking my head.

"Beatrice! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you." My father says while putting a hand on my shoulder. And theres the trigger. Any feelings that I managed to block out before come flowing out freely now. I wish I could keep them down, I really do.

Matthew swiftly pulls my father's hand off my shoulder and gives him a look. I don't know what the look meant considering how consumed my mind is right now.

"My name is Tris." I say while turning to face him. My voice continuously rose as the sentence went on.

"I'm sorry, Tris. Sometimes I forget. Please, just calm down." My dad says with slight worry in his eye. I stand up so I am closer to his eye level.

"Don't tell me what to do. You have no right. You kept her from me. You're the reason I grew up in this hell hole without her. I fucking trusted you! And you betrayed me! Everything is your fault." I scream at him. By now the entire cafeteria has their attention turned to us.

"Calm down, Tris. Fight it. I know you can." He says. I shake my head and give him a sarcastic laugh.

"Here I was thinking she didn't care. Thinking she forgot who I was. I can't believe you had the audacity to make me grow up alone." I say, slightly softer than before but still yelling.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Beatrice." My father says.

"MY NAME IS TRIS! TRIS! I FOUND THE LETTERS. THE FUCKING LETTERS YOU HID FROM ME. WHO DOES THAT TO THEIR CHILD! WHO FUCKING DOES THAT." I scream. I have angry tears streaming down my face. I look around to see everyone whispering to the people next to them while staring at me. I focus in on a group of girls a couple feet away. "WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING STARING AT! GET ON WITH YOUR OWN GOD DAMN LIFE." I scream at them.

"Tris, please calm down." Matthew says from behind me. I throw my elbow back and make contact with his ribs. I hear him grunt and fall to the floor. I look down at him and I want to punch him. Oh, do I want to punch him. But the pleading look in his eyes stops me.

I need to get out of here, now. I need to go before I do something I will regret when this is all over. My eyes dart around the room looking for the closest way out. I spot a door only a couple feet away and sprint out it. Once I get outside I run to the stairwell and take all five flights two steps at a time. I get to my floor and sprint down the hall, bursting into my apartment. I start to pace. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

I decide on breaking into the liquor cabinet and stealing a bottle of vodka. I grab it and run the remaining stars to the roof. I go over to the corner you can't see from the doorway and sit down. The running helped a lot to expel the overflow of energy inside of me. The feelings are still there but aren't as bad as they were in the cafeteria. I twist the cap off and use my trembling hand to tip the bottle back.

FOUR POV

What the hell just happened? I look from the door that slammed shut behind Tris to Matthew lying on the floor to David who is rubbing his forehead. Why did she blow up like that? She seemed like she was in a trance. The look in her eyes was slightly deranged and she seemed very anxious. Matthew finally gets off the floor and brushes the dirt off his pants.

"We need to find her. Now. Who knows what she would do in this state." Matthew says while turning to David. "You go back to the apartment and see if she's there. I'll go to the training room which is where she most likely would have gone. The rest of you split up and search the building. If you find her, bring her to us immediately." He says while turning to us. We all nod and they both rush out of the cafeteria.

"Lets all take a floor. Matthew is covering the basement so we can start on the first floor. Uriah, you look there. Marlene, you got the second floor. Shauna, you can look on the third. I'll look on the fourth. David is already on the fifth. Lynn and Al can look on the sixth floor. Caleb can look on the seventh. Will, eighth. Christina, ninth. And Four check the tenth and the roof." Zeke says quickly. We all agree and run off to the elevator.

I patiently wait as the elevator stops on each floor, letting someone out each time. Finally I reach the top floor and step out. I quickly move down the hallways, looking everywhere for Tris. By the end of the last hallway, she is obviously not up here. I then move to the door leading to the roof and head up there. I open the door and look around.

I spot Tris standing on the ledge surrounding the roof with a half empty bottle in her hand. I cautiously walk over to her so I don't scare her.

"Tris, maybe you should get down. It doesn't seem safe." I say slowly. Tris doesn't even turn around as I speak.

"Have you ever thought about it?" She says while absentmindedly staring at whats below her. I take note of the fact that her hands stopped shaking for the most part.

"Thought about what?" I ask while creeping closer.

"Jumping. Ending everything. Would you even feel it, or would you die the second you hit the ground. It seems appealing to end your life like that. A pure moment of bliss as your falling then all of a sudden, its over. Everything's over. It seems like a happy way to go." She says while swaying slightly.

"I never thought of it like that, I guess. Maybe if you hop down here and we could talk about it more." I say. She leans forward slightly as if she is going to fall. My breath catches in my throat but is soon released when she leans back to normal.

"'Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality.' Do you know who said that?" She says.

"No, I don't. Our education was limited in Chicago." I say.

"Shame. It was Emily Dickinson for the record. I wonder if I would be immortal. Have I loved enough? I wonder if the amount of love effects the amount of immortal you are. Or if it only takes one person to love you to live on forever." She says. She leans forward again and I find myself taking a huge step towards her.

"Tris, don't jump. There are people who care about you. People who would miss you. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for them." I say frantically. She makes a weird noise between a snort and a laugh before she jumps...onto the rooftop. She turns to me with a small smile on her face.

"I'm drunk not suicidal." She says before sliding down onto the ground and leaning up against the wall. I slowly walk over and sit down next to her.

"I'm supposed to bring you to Matthew the second I find you." I say while looking at her cautiously.

"I bet you are." She says before taking a swig of the bottle in her hand. Up close I can see its some kind of alcohol. "I'm not crazy." She says.

"I never said you were." I say. She glances at me before staring at the wall in front of her. We sit in silence for about five minutes before she speaks up again.

"Cyclothymic bipolar disorder." She says. I stare at her for a second trying to figure out what she means by that.

"What?" I say while furrowing my eyebrows.

"I forgot you learned nothing in that useless school of yours. Its the disorder I have. Cyclothymic is the mildest form of bipolar there is. I pretty much just have crazy mood swings. The type I have usually just gives me a lot of energy and makes me hyper a lot. Occasionally i'll have short periods of manic depression as you just witnessed. I used to get mad at the smallest things but I've learned to control it. Certain things can trigger it though, like touching. I don't like to be touched." She says while spinning the bottle absentmindedly.

"You weren't like that when I met you. You seemed different this morning." I say.

"That would be because I haven't taken my meds in a week. Usually I work out enough to help me control it but this time I couldn't. It was the stress. And I missed my workout. And I would have taken my meds had I been at home. It was too much to deal with from the second I woke up." She says.

"Well, that explains it." I say while nodding my head.

"You think I'm crazy. A mental case." She says matter-of-factly.

"I don't. Everyone has their problems. Its how we deal with them that makes you who you are." I say, thinking of myself as well as her.

"Does it though? Do you really believe that?" She says while turning and finally looking me in the eye. I just stare back at her, not exactly sure how to answer that. "Only two people know about my disorder, not including doctor's." She says.

"Then why did you tell me?" I say while raising an eyebrow at her.

"Because I don't have a filter when I'm drunk. Trust me, I'm going to regret this when I'm sober." She says with a small laugh. A tiny smile makes its way onto my face. Once again, she turns to stare at me and I stare right back.

"Do you know why I like your eyes?" She asks as she seems to be searching my eyes.

"No, I don't know why." I say.

"They show you." She says with a slight tilt to her head.

"What do you mean?" I say, now confused as to where she is going with this.

"You're tough. Macho. Nothing can hurt you. Or so you try to make people think. But your eyes. They say something different. Vulnerability. Hurt. You're broken. It draws me in. You draw me in." She says while a small smile grows on her face.

"Your drawn in by the fact that I'm broken?" I say, still slightly confused.

"However vindictive that my sound, its true. I don't like perfection." She says. All of a sudden she stands up and starts walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I say while quickly standing up and following her.

"You said you had to bring me to Matthew, so bring me." she says while pulling the door open and walking down the stairs. The entire walk back is without conversation. We both seem to be completely immersed in our own thoughts. we finally reach the bottom floor where I see Matthew pacing and the group surrounding him.

"Here I am. No need to worry." Tris says while waltzing over to them. I follow behind her.

"Oh my god! Tris, I was so worried. Are you okay?" Matthew says while pulling her into a hug.

"I'm fine. Drunk, but fine." Tris says while smiling largely at him. Suddenly, David comes running over to her and pulls her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry. When I walked over, I didn't know you were...anyways. All that matters is that you are fine now." He says. As David hugs her, she stands as stiff as a board. I can tell she is still mad at him for whatever he did. He sighs and pulls away.

"How about you walk everyone back to the hotel then we can talk about this in the apartment." David says. Tris gives him a short nod before he scurries off. She turns on her heel and starts walking towards the hotel while we follow. We get to the hotel in about five minutes and Tris waits by the door as we file in.

Right as I am about to walk in, Tris stops me by putting her arm out. The door shuts behind the person in front of me, leaving the two of us alone. Like on the roof, we stay there staring at each other for a little while. Tris is again the one to break the silence.

"Good thing you're not perfect." She says before walking off down the hallway.

Sorry its been such a long wait for this chapter. I just recently figured out what I wanted to write for it. I have to say, this is one of my favorite things I have written. I don't know what it is about it that I really enjoyed writing. I hope you like it as much as I do. Thanks for reading!

-Hockeycrazy7