Chapter: 21

"They haven't started yet Natalia," Ivan whispered in her ear. He ran the back of his hand down the side of her face and it felt cold against her overheated skin. "I can make it all stop before it gets to that point Talia." He said from where he stood behind her. He stepped away and her head fell forward without him there to support it. "You've grown weak. It sickens me." He said and moved to stand in front of her. He wrapped his fingers in her long curls and yanked her head back. The sudden movement made her head spin. "Tell me what you learned while with them," he said. "You were all to ready to tell our secrets, tell me one of theirs and I'll make it stop." Her body was growing hotter and she knew what would be coming next but she kept quiet.

Honestly she had learned a few things while being at the SHEILD base. She was the Black Widow after all and had gotten bored. She learned a couple of things that she was sure wouldn't hurt SHEILD too much. She had stayed away from the real high profile stuff because, well she supposed it was a principle type thing, if she was going to work for them she would wait until she was actually on their staff before poking around their secrets. So, she had learned some minor things but she wouldn't tell Petrovich anything. If anything, it was a sign of defiance. Petrovich glared at her and she smiled up at him, well, as best of a smile as she could manage.

"Not…not afraid of you." He smiled back at her an evil and sickening smile that she remembered all too well.

"But I created you Natalia," he said leaning in closer "I know what scares you. I know how to break you." He released her and walked over beside Fury who had his face trained into an impassive glare. "Do you think that keeping their secrets will help you Natalia? They don't want you. You are the Black Widow. You're the woman that they wanted dead in the first place. They don't care if you live or die. Nobody cares." He said but she kept her mouth shut. "You don't want to talk darling," he said and laid a hand on Fury's shoulder "deal with the consequences."

That's when it started, her head whirled and everything suddenly felt like it was underwater. She heard Petrovich talking but his voice was muffled. From the distance she heard what sounded like a scream. Then there was more and more, the screams echoed inside her head and made her wince. Then from the shadows that were somehow around her now a child stepped out. It was a young girl and she stared straight at Natasha with sad, judgmental, eyes. From behind the child came more people. They were all staring at her with that same look. Suddenly they were moving closer and as they approached they changed. Blood started covering them and she could see their wounds and burns. Things that she had given them. The worst were the burns. Burns that covered their entire body. Their screams grew louder and more pain filled. It struck her right to her core. They kept on coming as other images drifted across her eyes. A burning hospital, the trigger for it still resting in her hand, all the bloody missions she was sent on and the people young and old that she's killed. The flashbacks kept coming and the tortured screams continued. She was a young girl being strapped down to a surgical table, killing the other girls surrounding her, being half dead and thrown out into the snow, being forced to the ground by a man much bigger and much stronger than her young self. It all mixed together. The heat rising in her body, the screams, the bloody, burned and wounded people still moving towards her, the images of her past, they all attacked her at the same time and made her feel like she was trapped and couldn't breathe. As the figures reached out and touched her their hands burned, only adding to everything, and she couldn't take it anymore.

Coulson felt something clinch up inside of him as he watched sweat collect over her body and her face contorted in pain. When she screamed it was full of anguish and pain. He unconsciously pulled against the straps holding him back. She continued to scream and it hurt because she was such a strong person, it hurt to see her like that, and it hurt because Petrovich was right about what he had said about them. He himself had thought about how much easier it would've been to just kill her. She knew this as well and yet she chose to remain quiet. Coulson wasn't enough of a fool to think that she had nothing to give the man. He tore his eyes away from her to look at his boss and saw that his features were hardened and he had a dark glare in his eyes. He'd seen that look before and knew they were on the same page again. He looked back at Natasha and took in a deep breath.

"Sir," a voice from behind them said and they saw another guard come in. "We've got contact."

"Brilliant," Petrovich's smile widened and he walked back over to Natasha. She was mumbling something that no one could understand. He tilted her head back and ran his free hand through her hair. "You'll see my dear," he said "a little trading and we'll be back to our real home. No one will fight to get you back once they've got the people they actually care about. No one will care about you." He released her and walked towards the guard. He paused and patted Fury's shoulder before he left. He smiled when Natasha screamed again.

Coulson pulled against the thick straps holding him back and cursed to himself. He was angry, beyond angry, and if he allowed himself to think about it then it would scare him. It had been a long time since he had felt such an urge to end someone's life. Natasha fell silent but her body was tense and her breaths were coming in rapid gasps. She couldn't breathe properly.

"Romanoff," Fury suddenly snapped, surprising Coulson in the process. Her eyes were squeezed shut as if whatever she was seeing would go away if she could close them tight enough. "Focus," he ordered "open your eyes and focus. You know it's not real."

She had heard everything that Ivan had said but then there was a new voice. It seemed to be so far away. She tried to hear it but it was too muffled. She squeezed her eyes tighter but the images wouldn't go away. There was red, so much red, it felt like she could drown in it. The screams of the many lives she took continued to pierce through her heart. Her body was on fire and she felt like bursting out into tears. "Focus," a voice snapped "open your eyes and focus." She didn't want to but the voice sounded so sure of himself that she did. She opened her eyes and the figures from her past, dead and broken, were still there but there was something else there as well. "You know it's not real." The voice said and that hit something inside of her. She blinked and looked past the horrid images around her. The room beyond the figures was blurry but she focused and refused to acknowledge anything else. She fought back more screaming as her body burned and images randomly flashed through her head. She pushed them back and focused like the voice demanded. What did he say, they aren't real? She held on to that, she knew that it was the truth, it was the drug. She repeated it in her head as she fought against what Petrovich had given her. She fought against it with all her might.

Fury saw the war in her eyes. He saw the demons being pushed back as she fought to get back to reality. "Romanoff," he snapped again a harsher voice. That seemed to do it. Her eyes steeled and she brought her eyes to his and really looked at him. He just looked right back at her and she nodded. Her body still felt like it was on fire, her throat burned, but she was no longer hallucinating and that was all that she could ask for at the moment.

"You can't be serious," Clint tried to control himself from yelling at agent Hill. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"It's already been done."

"How could you…"

"This wasn't my decision Agent Barton." She glared at him and he reigned himself in. "The deal has already been made. They are giving us Coulson and Fury after we give them the files we have on them and….

"They get to keep Natasha." He finished with a dark look on his face. "The Council is just going to let…"

"She isn't their concern Barton,"

"Because they wanted her dead anyways right? What happened to her being a valuable asset to SHEILD?"

"They don't want to lose the director of SHEILD or Coulson. In their opinion she belongs to them anyways." Hill saw something dark flash across Barton's face.

"She doesn't belong to them." He said "they're going to kill her."

"No, she's too valuable to them, they'll probably do whatever they do to get her back on their side." He couldn't help the dark chuckle that escaped at that comment.

"Isn't it the same thing?"

"I'm sorry agent Barton." He saw the slight sadness in her eyes and was surprised to see that it was true. He left the room then and she sighed at the mess. She had a bunch of work to do.