Of Epic Proportions

by authorinprogress97

And I thought life was hard enough the first time. OC self-insert (because I'm that shameless)

3. Friendship

And I thought life was hard enough the first time.

OC self-insert (because I'm that shameless)

I'm on a roll, so I'll be updating often. I am… feeling weird because I'm not used to being so focused on one story before, but I'm inexplicably excited for this story. It's only because I have so much free time now, but I don't think it'll last long.

Speaking of long, this chapter is another long one, but I swear I haven't covered much. This is about half of episode two, no joke. Actually, it's a little less than episode two.

… I have no idea why progress is so slow either. -shrugs-

Either way, enjoy!

Nina – I have delivered!

-0-

Once the boat started moving towards Wall Rose, I drew away from Armin and curled into myself. I knew Armin didn't need that right now – he needed someone to remind him that there was still good, that this wasn't the end for humanity – but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

It… it really happened. Even after all this time, I held a small candle of hope that Shingeki no Kyojin was just a show. I had been hoping the Armin, Eren and Mikasa being around was just a coincidence. Even Levi… I was hoping it was all just some whacky coincidence. I had managed to fool myself into thinking that the Recon Corps' return and the way the rest of the day had panned out was just a coincidence. Maybe the fall of Shiganshina wouldn't really happen…

I realise now that it was stupid; a child's dream. Even if I wanted to fool myself that I was more experienced at, well, life, I was still so childish in my thoughts. I still needed to grow up and at a much younger age than I had before.

Could I… could I even do that?

My grip on my arms tightened as I buried my face into my knees. The charm of Anna's bracelet cut into my palm, but I couldn't care less. I might have looked like I was crying, but that wasn't an odd sight. Everyone was crying, grieving or halfway to losing their minds.

I thought I could join the Recon Corps, but that was a pipe dream. How could I even think I could be a part of such a dangerous branch of the military? I don't even think I would last the training period.

Those… those things. Titans. They'd eat me. How could I think I could defeat even one? I wasn't strong enough, or smart enough and I'd never get to meet the 104th trainees or be there by Armin's side to see him grow –

I jerked out of my thoughts. What was I thinking? Hadn't I promised Anna I would look after Armin? How could I do that if I didn't get into the Recon Corps? Armin was my best friend and I had made a promise to watch his back.

In my old life, I had made and broken dozens of promises. I had yet to break a promise in this life and I wouldn't. Not when I had made a promise to my best friend, my sister on her deathbed, practically.

Snap out of it, Dani, I told myself forcefully. It wasn't like me to give up so easily. My parents had never taught me to give up when things seemed difficult and I was my parents' daughter, for the love of god. I would only give up when I was dead, and I would die fighting. There was so much to be done and I hated leaving things before they were done. I won't die (again) before I see the world outside those damned walls.

I straightened, inhaling a deep breath as I wiped away any stray tears that might be lingering on my face. I was pleasantly surprised to find there weren't any; it would have been embarrassing to explain why I had suddenly started crying. I'd have to figure out what I was going to do with the knowledge that I had (which wasn't much, to be honest) and to figure out a way to mentally prepare myself for what would happen in the years to come.

"What's the matter, Eren?" I heard Armin ask, concern colouring his voice. I'll figure that out after I make sure Eren doesn't attempt to drown himself first.

I stood up, turning my head to where I heard Armin's voice and unsteadily made my way towards where Armin and Eren were. I made a surprised noise as Eren shoved Armin's arm off, almost causing the blonde to fall. "Eren?" Armin repeated, sounding a little confused.

I walked up behind Armin. I rocked forward, but didn't move towards Eren. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but what could I say? Talking about my own experience with losing my parents seem so… tactless. I've never been very good with my words anyway (yet another souvenir from Back Then). I had a feeling if I tried to talk to him now, I'd only piss him off. It was better to let him rant.

"I'm going to kill them all," Eren swore in a harsh voice. I'll admit that I shuddered; no ten-year-old should be filled with so much hatred and vengeance. It wasn't right. Armin startled and I didn't doubt he wasn't used to hearing that tone in Eren's voice. "Not even a single one of them… will be left."

I couldn't stand the look on Eren's face, but I couldn't look away. This was how he became who he was. I couldn't change that. Sure, I could try to head off his suicidal tendencies, but I was one person. What could I do? Eren didn't have to listen to me.

"Eren…" Armin whispered.

I tugged on the back of Armin's shirt and he started, turning to look at me. I shook my head, telling him he shouldn't bother Eren right now. It was best to let Eren stew in his own thoughts. If he didn't rationalise by the time we boarded, then I'll step in. For now, there was nothing any of us could do.

•●•●•●•

The next day, I woke up earlier than the others. I looked over at Armin's, Eren's and Mikasa's sleeping bodies, blearily rubbing my eyes. My body craved for more sleep, but I knew if I went back to sleep, I probably wouldn't get up again until the sun was too high in the sky to do anything useful.

I sighed. I hated that they had to go through this. Life was fine before those stupid abnormal Titans attacked. The walls might have been cages, but at least they were keeping us alive.

I drew my knees up to my chest and just spent a few minutes watching over them, like some guardian angel.

I suppressed a snort. I'm no guardian angel, but I wanted to protect these three so badly. They didn't deserve what was coming, especially Eren. I didn't know why I felt so bad for Eren. If anything, he was the one most likely to survive this whole thing. I… I didn't need to worry about him so much, I guess. After all, he had Mikasa and Armin to watch him. In turn, I'd watch them.

No matter how much I told myself I wouldn't have to worry about Eren, I had a feeling he was going to my biggest worry for as long as I knew him. Eren Jaeger was just such a worrisome kid.

I had to figure out what I was going to do next. No, first, I should figure out what I already knew.

It wasn't easy digging deep into my memory for something that wasn't even a huge part of my life. I didn't even know much about it in the first place.

I knew Mikasa, Eren and Armin would end up in the Recon Corps. That was a start. I had to make sure I joined them. A lot of that involved working hard so that I was at least up to their level. I gave a mental sigh, moaning about how much effort I'd have to put in if I wanted to at least make it to Armin's level. I'd never be as good as him tactics-wise, but I was pretty sure I could at least match him for intelligence in general. So maybe I wasn't a genius, but I wasn't an idiot. I could even say without much embarrassment that I was smart.

I could be idealistic and try to change things, but I'll leave the idealism to Eren. The important was to stay alive and to keep Armin and Mikasa alive. I wish I could change a lot more, but I should be realistic. I was one girl. What could I hope to change?

There was Marco. I could always try to save him.

I shook my head. Marco was in the top ten. He was much better than I was, I don't doubt. What could I add to him that could possibly save his life? I could never make it into the top ten.

No, I shouldn't think like that. I could… but the possibility wasn't very high. Besides, it didn't matter if I made it into the top ten. My goal was to get into the Recon Corps. I didn't need to be in the top ten to do that. Even if I did make it into the top ten, I'd just be stealing a spot into the Military Police that someone else might want.

Marco… of all the things I remembered, it had to be him. I don't know why he affected me so. To be honest, I didn't think I had paid much attention to him while I was watching the show. I obviously had, if I could still remember him after all this time. I just… he didn't deserve to die. He could have made such a difference.

Well, I didn't know that. There was a lot I didn't know. Everything I knew about what would happen in the future was enough to fit in the palm of my hand.

I needed to focus on the near future. 104th Training Squad, the Battle of Trost, the Female Titan… Annie Leonheart.

I threaded my fingers through my hair, messing it up in frustration. Those were too big for me to change. I couldn't possibly change Annie's mind about… about… what had she done?

Fifty-seventh expedition…

Squad Levi. Shit. That was it. She… she killed them, didn't she? Just to get Eren. If I could change her mind –

No, I don't think I could. It's difficult to change belief and I wasn't good enough with my words to think I could change Annie's mind.

There was too much I couldn't change… maybe I shouldn't focus on changing anything at all. I should just focus on staying alive and protecting Armin and Mikasa (and probably Eren too, even if he rejects my help) with whatever resources I had available.

"You're up early."

I blinked out of my stupor, looking over at Armin's grandfather who had just woken up.

"Oh, good morning," I said, clearing my throat a little to get rid of the sleep. "Why are you up this early, sir?" I glanced out of the food reserves where we were currently using as lodging. I noticed that the sun was just beginning to rise, it's golden rays not yet touching the building.

He chuckled. "I was going to start queuing for rations," he explained, slowly getting up. "Figured it might get a little crazy if I waited. You should get some more sleep."

"Oh."

"Penny for your thoughts?" Armin's grandfather asked as he placed his hat on his head, smiling down kindly at me. I blinked up at him. In this life, I had never had the chance to meet my grandparents. Both Mom's and Dad's parents had passed away before I was born. It was… nice, knowing there was a grandparent looking out for you. I sort of envy Armin for that.

"I just – " I cut myself off. There was no way I could explain what I was thinking without sounding insane. After all, who believed in previous lives in this time? The only religion that was around was the religion involving the walls and nothing else. If there were, there weren't any in Shiganshina or Karenese. I shrugged. "Everything's changing."

"That's true. If you think about the future, it sounds scary." Oh, he had no idea just how scary. "That's why you have to take everything one step at a time."

"One step at a time…?" I repeated, frowning in thought.

"That's right," he said, nodding. "For now, live day by day. It's good to think of the future, but don't think too far. After all, you'll never know which day is your last." He ended his statement with a wink and a ruffle of my hair – a lot like how Dad used to ruffle my hair – before shuffling off.

I blinked at his retreating back, watching as he pushed the door open and shuffled out. It made… so much sense! Why should I worry about things that were out of my hands now? If we followed canon Shingeki no Kyojin, the problem would still be there in a few years. Heck, I still had years to figure out what could be done. I didn't need to panic about it now. All I had to worry about today was… rations. Yeah, rations.

I stood up, brushing dust off my skirt and readjusting my vest. Maybe I could accompany Armin's grandfather or just walk around and try to figure out where we are. I assume we're in Trost, but it doesn't hurt to clarify –

"Oof," I grunted as I tripped over someone's legs. Right, I brought my coordination from Back Then too. In fact, I think it's gotten worse.

"Wha – Dani?" Armin asked groggily, sitting up.

I winced, getting up again and grinning apologetically at him. "Sorry," I apologised, only to cough on a giggle when I noticed Armin's bedhead. "Nice hair."

Armin's hand shot up to his hair and I snorted. Cute. It's stuff like this they didn't show in the anime that I personally think is a shame. He attempted to smooth his hair as he asked, "What are you doing up? It's still early."

"Ah. I was going to go outside. Gather gossip and see what's going on."

He looked around. "Where's Grandpa?"

"He went out to get rations," I replied, tugging on a stray lock of hair and wondering if I should tie my hair.

"Oh." He started to stand up and I put a hand on his arm. I couldn't help but feel a little concerned. We had just had our whole world destroyed in front of us. I just wanted to keep Armin from that horrible word for as long as I could.

"Maybe you should get some more sleep," I suggested. "I mean, we might be transported to a different district, so we'll need the energy to – "

"I know what you're trying to do, Dani," he sighed, patting my hand. "I don't need you to protect me."

If it was anyone else, I would have been shocked, but this was Armin. He knew what I was thinking even before I knew what I was thinking, half the time. He would most likely be one of humanity's greatest tacticians. Besides what I knew he would be, he was also my genius best friend.

I smiled, ruffling his hair. He still looked pale, but he was right. He didn't need me to protect him. Not from this. I'll have a lot of chances to protect him in the future. "Okay." I stood up, looking out the slit at the top of the food reserves. The sun was struggling to make its way past the wall, faint rays starting to shine. "Well, off we go. Much to see, much to do."

Armin laughed a little and I hadn't realised how much I was worried I wouldn't hear it again. I never wanted him to stop smiling and laughing. He was still ten and he deserved a childhood. I knew he wouldn't get one and that made me sad. "I don't think there's much we can do," he pointed out. "I was just going to look for Grandpa."

I pulled him up and we walked towards the door. "You do that. I'm going to look busy."

He rolled his eyes, linking his arm with mine as we pushed the door open. "You always look busy."

"Well, I'm good at fooling the whole world then."

My grin slid off my face as I took in the scene before me. It was… crowded. No, that wasn't the right term. Crowded meant that an area was simply full of people. This wasn't just full of people. It was overflowing.

They didn't have enough space for all these people. That much was obvious. I could see why they did what they did… but it still didn't make it right.

"That's a lot of people," Armin commented weakly. I glanced at him in concern. He was sounding a little faint and oh, I couldn't help but think of Armin as a precious little brother that I had to look after. "It'll be a little difficult finding Grandpa."

"Just look for his hat," I suggested brightly.

Armin glanced at me with an amused smile. "Please don't."

There goes my lame attempt to lighten the mood. "Sorry." I poked his cheek. "You're still smiling though." I scanned the crowd and ended up finding his Grandpa from his hat anyway. "Hey, there's your grandpa."

"Where are you going?" he asked, tightening his grip on my arm when I tried to pull away. Only ten. I recognised that he was holding onto me for a familiar face. In a way, I guess I was a security blanket. I had never had one of those in my old life, nor in this one, but I understood.

"I told you," I said gently. "To look busy." I ruffled his hair again. "I'm going to see if I can hear anything from the soldiers. I'll look for you when you're done, okay?"

I could see him slowly relaxing his grip. I didn't know what was going on in his head, but I could guess. Maybe he was just reminding himself I was still here, that I wasn't gone. I understood because I felt the same. I wanted to keep him by my side just to be sure that Armin wasn't taken away from me (like Anna), but I had to be independent from him as well.

"Okay," he said quietly and I left with a wave.

•●•●•●•

Well, that was… useless. I didn't anything that I hadn't already speculated.

The food shortage was expected. We were already lacking in food before the attack on Wall Maria and this was just making it worse. There were so many times when I had to clench my fists and force myself not to throw a brick at the soldiers.

They sounded so condescending, but they had never seen what we had. I bet they had never even seen a Titan before, let alone seen someone be eaten. They talked about us refugees like we didn't deserve to be here – like we deserved to die out there. Whoever thought that having a common enemy would unite humanity was proven wrong in a horrendous way. We'd always find enemies among each other, wouldn't we?

I sighed, clapping my hands free from grime as I jumped down from the roof into the hay below. I had spotted Armin heading towards Eren and Mikasa (oh, sleepy head's finally up) with the rations and I was sick of hearing those shams of soldiers spitting derogatory comments towards people who have been through hell and back. If I didn't leave, I'd probably spit on them or something.

Now that I think about it, it wouldn't have been a bad idea…

No. Impulsiveness is not a good thing here. It could get me killed, or at the current moment, in trouble.

Armin turned when he heard my footsteps, smiling slightly. "Did you find anything interesting?" he asked, handing me a roll of bread.

I didn't bite into it, instead turning it in my hands as I sighed heavily. "Nothing I haven't already speculated," I answered, my lips twisting into a frown. "I definitely heard interesting things, but I won't repeat them because I might actually punch a soldier."

He winced. "That bad, huh?"

I shook my head. "I never get sick of hearing soldiers talk down on us people from the outskirts," I said, sarcasm dripping off my words.

"Hey, stop cutting the line!"

Armin and I stopped, peering curiously in the direction of the voice. My eyebrows creased as I took in the sight of two men fighting over a place in line. Well, it's good to know people haven't really changed, even if I'm in a whole different world.

"Shut up!" the other – and younger – man snarled back, gripping the other man's collar and tugging. "I haven't eaten anything since yesterday!"

Armin shook his head this time. "This isn't doing anything but prove them right," he muttered.

I pat his back in sympathy, steering him to where I could see Mikasa and Eren talking – well, Mikasa talking and Eren listening distractedly.

"Eren! Mikasa!" Armin called, attracting their attention. I gave both of them a wave and a small smile as I walked behind Armin at a more leisurely pace. I couldn't help but peer into the line nearest to the food reserves. I thought I had seen a somewhat familiar face…

"Armin? Dani?" Eren said, still sounding a little out of it.

"Look, I made it!" Armin said with some forced cheer, gesturing to the bread rolls in his arms. "Grandpa got these for us kids!"

He handed Mikasa her bread roll, nodding at her 'thanks' before passing Eren his. He looked up, but he wasn't looking at Armin. Instead, he was looking somewhere behind me and I turned, glaring slightly at the soldier who huffed slightly under his breath and glowered at us with a look of disdain.

"What's the matter with him?" Eren asked, eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

"There's probably not enough food for everyone," I answered, sticking my tongue at the soldier's retreating back. I turned back to Eren and shrugged. I waved my own bread roll and added, "This is an entire day's worth of food."

"There are just too many refugees," Armin continued when I pinched off a bit of my bread and chewed on it. "There's always been a food shortage, and you know how people always look down on those who live in the outskirts."

"Why do we have to give our food to outsiders?" I turned, noticing that our soldier friend was complaining to a fellow soldier. "I mean the Titans broke through the wall anyway. They should've eaten more of them."

I lifted my arm to throw my bread at the jerk – I don't care if this is my ration for the whole day – but Armin's arm shot out to stop me. I'll thank his foresight later, but for now I really want to hurt that no good –

Eren walked past with an enraged look on his face, dislodging Armin's hand from my arm. "Eren!" Armin cried as I grabbed for Eren's sleeve, only to miss, my fingers grazing the fabric of his shirt.

Oh no. He's going to cause trouble and get hurt!

"This will just make the food shortage worse," that disgrace of a soldier continued, unaware of Eren stalking towards him. He grunted in pain when Eren kicked him. I gaped at the scene. Armin, Mikasa and I couldn't move, totally shocked. I can't believe Eren actually had the balls to kick a soldier!

"What the hell are you doing, you brat?" the soldier bellowed, drawing his hand back and striking Eren. I made a surprised noise in the back of my throat, moving forward to do something. I couldn't just stand there and watch Eren get beat up! The other soldier kicked Eren, sending him to the ground. I growled under my breath, elbowing those in my way so I could get to him. It was despicable, two soldiers ganging up on a kid.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Eren shouted. "You've never seen it happen with your own eyes! How the Titans eat people…" I finally reached a break in the crowd and say Eren looking up at them from the ground, tears welling in his eyes.

"Shut up," the soldier roared, stepping forward and I shot out of the crowd, almost tripping over Eren's legs and bumping into Armin as we stood in front of Eren with our arms outstretched.

I opened my mouth to spit a few choice insults, but Armin beat me to it. "We're sorry," he cried. I could hear an undertone of fear in his voice. "He's just ticked off because he's hungry."

I shot Armin a sharp glance, but he stepped on my toe. It wasn't enough to injure, but it made his message loud and clear: play along so we won't get in trouble.

I didn't like the way they talked about us, but I trusted Armin's judgement. This time, I'll bite my tongue. That didn't mean I had to like it.

"That's why he's acting like a brat," Armin finished somewhat sheepishly. "We're really sorry!"

Armin bowed, which I thought was a bit excessive. I was going to tug on his sleeve so we could leave when I felt his hand at the small of my back, applying slight pressure. He's not seriously suggesting I bow too – !

The pressure was insistent and I sighed under my breath, acquiescing. It wasn't a good idea to antagonise anyone needlessly. If that meant setting aside my pride so that Eren wouldn't get beat up, so be it. I had made a silent promise myself to look after all three of them.

"Sorry," I muttered, hoping I sounded sincere enough.

"Whatever," the soldier scoffed, dismissing us immediately. "You would've been dead without us. You kids should learn to be more grateful!"

I waited until that bastard walked away before straightening and muttering under my breath, "We would have been just fine without you." A lot of lip he has considering he hasn't even seen half the horrors we have.

"Yes, sir!" Armin called out. I huffed, turning around to see how Eren was.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, holding out a hand so I could pull him up.

"Dammit…" Eren said, looking at my hand before gingerly placing his hand in mine. "I'd rather die than leech off people like him."

"Don't talk that way," I chided lightly, pulling him up. "Even this is better than death." I looked down at his hand in surprise. "What happened to your hand?"

In the blink of an eye, his hand was out of my grasp. I looked up at him, but Eren wasn't meeting my eyes.

"Forget it," he said, walking past me and knocking against my shoulder.

"Huh?" I turned my gaze to Mikasa, but she didn't meet my eyes either.

"Don't ask," Mikasa said, following after him. I bit my lip, mentally beating myself up. Idiot, that probably had something to do with his mom.

There I go, putting my foot in my mouth again.

•●•●•●•

I chewed on the last piece I had saved for breakfast, placing the rest of my bread in my pocket. I glanced at Eren, sitting next to me. He still wasn't really looking at me, his gaze settled on his injured hand.

"I'll be back inside Wall Maria and kill off all the Titans," Eren said in a low voice.

I shared a concerned look with Armin, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Eren," Armin said in a gentle voice, "you're not serious, right?"

Even I had to admit that it sounded like a suicidal plan. It didn't even sound possible!

"I've never been more serious!" Eren stood up, getting into Armin's face. I straightened as well, keeping a grip on Eren's upper arm. It's not that I thought he was going to attack Armin or anything, but we didn't need him to get riled up and cause a scene. "I'm not like those people who only act tough when protected by the wall!"

He picked up his bread roll and I could predict what he was going to do. He tossed it, swearing, "I don't need this crap!"

I immediately let go of his arm to hit the back of his head. Next to me, I felt Mikasa flinch slightly.

"Don't be stupid," I reprimanded. "How are you going to get rid of the Titans if you don't nourish yourself?"

Eren stared at me in shock before scowling, rubbing the back of his head. "Why do you care?"

"Because I'm your friend."

It might have been a little premature to say that, but it didn't seem wrong. Eren looked like he wanted to protest, but only kept quiet, looking away from me, his fists clenched.

Armin looked down at Eren's bread roll that he had managed to catch in shock before looking up at Eren. "Eren, what are you doing?" he asked incredulously.

"Doesn't it piss you off?" Eren demanded. "We can't do anything against the Titans because we live off of such pity!"

"It's impossible," Armin countered, eyes wide with worry. "Nothing can defeat them." I don't want you to waste your life on something so pointless. "Our only choice is to live inside the walls. If you do anything rash, you'll die the same way my parents did!"

"So that's why you're sucking up to those people? Do you have no shame?"

Armin was pretty even-tempered, but sometimes people forgot that Armin had a temper too. I could see his temper threatening to flare, but he kept it reigned in. He had a hold over his anger that I honestly admired. If I held in my anger like that, I would have exploded. As it is, I'm glad that I have a long fuse. Seeing me angry was not a pretty sight.

"That's all we can do right now!" Armin pointed out through slightly gritted teeth.

"That's just an excuse," Eren yelled. I could tell he was getting angrier. If Mikasa or I didn't step in, I didn't doubt that they'd end up in a fight. I glanced at Mikasa, who finally met my eyes. Her facial expression didn't change, but I could detect the uneasiness swirling in her eyes. "Just continue living like livestock, you weak piece of shit!"

My breath hitched, the edges of my vision turning red as I clenched my fists. I knew Eren was frustrated. I knew, but I still wanted to hit him for what he said to my best friend. Armin was his best friend too, so how could he say that?

Thankfully, Mikasa hit him before I did, rushing past me and landing a hard punch on Eren's cheek that had him flying. Eren fell to the ground for the second time that day. I took in a deep breath to calm the trembling in my limbs, whispering thank you to Mikasa under my breath. She glanced at me, inclining her head minutely in acknowledgement.

"Mikasa?" Armin murmured in quiet shock.

The three of us turned to Eren, who still hadn't stood up. I was somewhat glad, because if he had, I would have punched him. He… Armin's best friend or not, I would have hurt him. Armin didn't deserve to have those words thrown at him, especially not by Eren.

"If Armin's weak," Mikasa began evenly, "then are you and I. So is Dani." I started, not expecting to be included in the conversation, even mentioned off-handedly like that. "We couldn't even escape the Titans or leave the city by ourselves. Even the food we eat is from someone else. There's absolutely no chance of us weaklings taking down even one Titan."

Well, not the way we were, no. We could enlist and train. We would be able to take them down then. I knew we would. Eren's eyes widened slightly before he looked away. It was obvious he didn't like what Mikasa was saying, but it needed to be said.

"What's important is staying alive," Mikasa continued, "just as your mother said."

Mikasa walked towards Eren, snatching the bread roll out of Armin's hand. She then proceeded to stuff it into Eren's mouth.

"Mikasa?" Armin said, not knowing whether he should stop her or not. Personally, I feel bad for not knowing whether I should laugh or protest that Mikasa might be choking Eren unintentionally.

"Eat," Mikasa said. I wasn't sure if the boys could hear the quiet – almost silent desperation in Mikasa's voice. "Eat and stay alive. I won't let you starve to death."

Tears gathered in Eren's greenish-blue eyes, but I didn't know if it was from Mikasa shoving the bread in his mouth or something else entirely. He let his eyes slide shut, the tears flowing down his cheeks.

This… was the extent of Mikasa's love for Eren, wasn't it? I never thought it would affect me so, seeing it unfold right in front of my eyes like this. It made me long for a sibling, but there was no use lamenting something I had no chance of having. My eyes caught Armin's blue pair and I smiled. What did I need a sibling for? I had Armin; that was enough for me. I'd have Eren and Mikasa as my friends too, if they didn't, you know, hate me.

•●•●•●•

I jumped when I heard shuffling behind me, letting out a sigh of relief when I noticed it was just Eren. I smiled softly, waving at him. He paused before shuffling forward, no doubt a little hesitant about approaching me after what happened. I patted the area next to me, looking out at the square. It was still filled with people, but they were all asleep. There wasn't quite enough space in the food reserves for all of the refugees, so some of them had to sleep outside. I guess it's a small comfort that there aren't any children sleeping outside.

He sat down next to me, but didn't say a word. I didn't feel like breaking the silence, choosing to look up at the moon for a while. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn't know how to word it in a way that didn't sound harsh or insensitive.

I rested my chin on my knee, humming a song under my breath. It was one Mom had loved to sing around the house. I had forgotten most of the words, but I could never forget the tune.

"That's a nice song," Eren commented quietly.

"Thanks. My… mom used to sing it all the time." I winced. I didn't want to remind him about his mom. It was different, me talking about my parents and him talking about his mom. I was used to talking about them like they weren't around, but for him, the wound was still fresh.

"Oh." He didn't say anything for a while. I was afraid he was going to leave, but then he asked, "Why are you still up?"

I ran a hand through my unruly curls, trying to smooth out where they were mussed from when I slept on them. "I had a nightmare," I replied, flicking a small rock from the ledge. It didn't feel very comfortable, talking where we had been fighting earlier this afternoon, but it was the best vantage point for… well, everything. It helped me remember what I was striving to fight for. You know, keep things into perspective. "What about you?"

I rested my cheek on my knees, looking up at his side profile. He stared out at the square before shrugging, glancing at me. "I don't know."

I straightened when I caught the shimmer on his cheeks. "Eren, have you been crying?"

He blinked at me, wiping at his cheeks. "Huh. That keeps happening." He scrubbed at his cheeks a little harder and I placed a hand on his wrist. I didn't want him to scrub his cheeks raw. "How do you do it?" he asked, sounding a little desperate.

"How do I do what?"

"Live. After… what happened."

I drew my hand away, tilting my head as I thought. I guess this was his way of trying to talk about his mom. To be honest, I had been wondering how to breach the topic, but he beat me to it.

I lifted a shoulder in a shrug, looking back up at the moon. I squinted up at it, saying, "I just do. I do it because that's what they would have wanted. I mean, they died so I'd live, so it'd be a really poor way to repay their sacrifice if I didn't move on, you know?" I glanced back at him, my eyes lingering on the bruise on his cheekbone. "Mikasa meant well."

He laughs a little humourlessly. "I figured." There was a slight pause before he added, "I shouldn't have said those things to Armin."

No duh. "Why do you think Mikasa hit you?"

He glanced at me, nudging me with his shoulder as the corner of his lips lifted in a small grin. "Maybe so you wouldn't." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be apologising to," I pointed out. If I find out he still hasn't apologised to Armin even though the poor boy deserved it, I'm going to hit Eren's other cheek. At least that way, he'd be even.

He laughed again and this time it didn't sound so dark. It sounded more carefree – a child's laugh. "I already apologised to Armin, so please don't hit me."

I nodded sharply. "Good." I poked his shoulder. "Armin's my best friend, so if you hurt him, I hurt you back."

"Armin's my best friend too," Eren protested, trying to stop my poke assault on his shoulders. "Dani. Dani, cut it out!" The bark of laughter he let out came as much of a surprise to him as it did to me.

I stopped poking him, a small smile settling across my lips. "You sound so much better when you laugh."

"Yeah, well, I don't think I'll have a lot of chances to laugh," he sighed.

I frowned. That was such a pessimistic way to look at things. I mean, our future wasn't full of rainbows and unicorns, but we wouldn't be able to face it if we kept thinking like that. So I did the only thing I could think of doing: I slapped his forehead.

"What gives?" he exclaimed, rubbing the red handprint on his forehead. I lunged forward, covering his mouth with my hand.

"Not so loud, you human cannon of sound," I hissed when one of the refugees stirred in their sleep.

"Why did you hit me then?" he demanded, hitting my shoulder.

"Don't be so pessimistic," I huffed. "I can't breathe with your gloomy thoughts around."

He stuck his tongue out at me. In retaliation, I stuck mine out at him. I know, we're so mature. I snorted, causing Eren to snort out a laugh too. I elbowed him lightly.

"Hey," I said softly, "I know it's not going to be easy, but we've got to keep our chins up. You know, stay confident and not be too… depressing. It's hard to live when you never see the sun."

"But we can always see the sun in the day – "

Oi vey, this boy is so dense. I elbowed him again, this time a little harder. "It's a metaphor, Eren. Do you know what a metaphor is?"

He scowled, pushing me hard enough to make me teeter. "Yes, I do. I'm not stupid."

"Could've fooled me," I muttered under my breath. He poked my side, which was very sensitive. I had to cover my squeal behind my hands so I wouldn't wake anyone. I glared at his smirking face, wrinkling my nose in displeasure. "Look, just… don't be so depressing."

His smirk melted into a grin. "You said that before."

I opened my mouth to retort, but all that came out was a huge yawn. I hadn't realised how tired I was until now. My lids were feeling heavy as I rubbed them. "I'd retort," I began, "but I'm tired." As I noticed Eren yawning wide enough for me to be able to see his tongue, I added, "Bed time for both of us, I think."

"I would disagree… but I can't even see straight."

We shared a snort, making our way back to our designated spots on the floor. Before we entered the food reserves, I put a hand on his arm, stopping his from walking in.

"What is it, Dani? I'm tired," he whined. "I thought we were done – "

"It'll get better," I interrupted quietly. "I'm not promising you'll be okay anytime soon, or even if you'll ever be okay, but I can promise that things probably aren't as bad as you think they are. We're weak… but we're strong, too." I exhaled sharply; I wished I knew how to convey what I wanted to say. "Sometimes… there'll be days when it looks bad, but you just have to remember that you're not alone. You have Mikasa and you have Armin… and you have me too. You don't – you're not alone."

Eren was quiet for a moment before he chuckled. "I don't really understand what you're saying and I'm not sure if I'm just that tired or if you're the one who's not making sense."

I rubbed my eyes, laughing a little tiredly myself. "I think I'm not making sense. Maybe I'll make more sense in the morning." I turned to look at him, our eyes meeting, grey against green. "So, friends?"

I held out a hand. Eren smirked, taking my hand in his and shaking once. "Friends," he agreed. "Now, sleep."

"Sleep," I repeated sleepily.

As I tried not to trip over sleeping bodies, I couldn't help but think mission accomplished. I mean, I'm finally friends with my best friend's best friend and it only took me a couple of years and a few hits exchanged.