Of Epic Proportions

by authorinprogress97

And I thought life was hard enough the first time. OC self-insert (because I'm that shameless)

7. Fall

And I thought life was hard enough the first time.

OC self-insert (because I'm that shameless)

BRING OUT THE TISSUES BECAUSE BATTLE OF TROST ARC IS CONTINUING!

I am hurting so much man. There is so much pain writing this. I hope all of you enjoy my pain.

Right, to circumvent further questions, shipping Dani with anyone might not be a thing for a while. At this point in time, I'm still building up her relationship with everyone else. There may be shipping in the future, but it's not a priority. Because, you know, Dani is old.

Nina – I agree that Dani and Armin are a cute couple. However, I think they're much cuter as friends that are always mistaken as a couple.

Supernova – Liz? I think you mean Dani… I do enjoy writing her relationship with both boys -smiley face-

-0-

I checked my gas tank one last time, shifting it a little. I had been having some trouble with it recently, the nozzle not working well and allowing gas to leak. Marco had helped me fix it, of course, but I still worried about it.

Armin looked back at me as I tightened the nozzle one last time out of nervousness. "Is it okay?" he asked, leaning back to check it for me.

"Should be," I murmured. I stopped fiddling with it; if I did, I would just worry more and I didn't need to think about losing gas at a faster rate than everyone else. I looked out at the city before us, surprisingly quiet despite the threat that I knew was coming.

It would be so easy to give in to the panic, but I was made of stronger stuff than this. If I could charge the Colossal Titan, I could handle a regular Titan no problem.

Armin reached out, stilling my hand. I looked down in mild surprise, not realising that I had been picking at my nail for the past two minutes. He sent me a concerned glance and even Eren looked over, frowning slightly. Damn me and my subconscious nervous habits.

"You're going to be fine… right?" Armin asked, squeezing my hand before letting go of it.

I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes for a brief moment – so brief that it only looked like an elongated blink. I took a step back, realising that I wasn't worried about the Titans. I was more than ready for them. It was what came after this – losing Eren, Mikasa no doubt hating me, Marco's death – that I still wasn't ready for.

"I will be," I said firmly, trying to convince both Armin and myself. I was sure I managed to convince my best friend, but it'll take me a while to convince myself.

"Hey, Armin, Dani, don't you think this is a great opportunity?" Eren asked, excitement turning his turquoise eyes lighter.

I raised an eyebrow, pushing aside my concerns. I had to care about right now, as in this very moment. "What for?"

He glanced at me, a smirk lifting the corner of his lips. "Before we join the Recon Corps, we can steal the show here in our very first battle," he explained. He turned his head to face us. "They'll recruit us and put us on the fast track for sure!"

Armin took a while to answer, but when he did, he did so with just as much confidence as Eren had. "Yeah, for sure."

I returned Eren's grin with a small one of my own. "I bet I can kill more Titans than you can, Jaeger," I taunted, hand clenching into fists at my side. I had to get through this day. I wouldn't die today. Not when I knew there was so much coming. I wouldn't leave them like this.

"Just so you know," Mina interjected, "a bunch of people want to join the Recon Corps this time round."

I widened my eyes, an unbidden smile curving my lips upwards. That was… heartening.

Thomas smirked. "Eren beat us to the punch earlier, but that's not going to happen again."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," I refuted, placing a hand on my handgrip as I tilted my head. "Eren's pretty good."

Thomas's smirk widened into a teasing grin. "Then I guess I'll just have to beat you."

I scoffed. Challenge accepted. "I'm pretty good too, so tough luck, Wagner," I retorted, quirking an eyebrow.

Eren thumped my back. "Dani, you'd better beat him or we're not friends anymore," he teased.

"It's a battle to bag the most Titans," Thomas announced, nudging Mina.

"Don't you go padding your scores, alright?" Eren added, a feral edge to his grin.

"Squad thirty four, advance! Provide support for the vanguard," a soldier barked out from a neighbouring roof.

"Alright," Eren said, turning back to the rest of us. "Let's go!"

"Hai!" the rest of us cheered.

I grinned, glancing at my comrades. We were ready for this.

Eren lead us, running off the roof and shooting forward. I jumped off, letting gravity catch me for a split second before I dispatched my hooks forward, reeling myself forward and flying past the deserted town. I was still a little scared, but hearing the burst of compressed air around me, it was comforting to know I wasn't alone.

"So many Titans already?" Mina exclaimed as we neared the gate. I frowned, clamping my bottom lip between my teeth.

"The vanguard was supposed to deal with this," Thomas said, sounding slightly panicked.

"It doesn't matter," I barked. "All those Titans are going to die and the Recon Corps will be scrambling to get us to join!"

They fell silent and I spared them a glance. What? Did I say something wrong?

"Well," Mina said after a pause. I noticed a faint smile settling on her lips. "Dani, just goes to show how much time you've been spending around that suicidal bastard."

"What is that supposed to – "

"An abnormal type? Stop!" Eren screamed and I reacted, pulling Mina, who was right next to me, to safety as well.

We both groaned as we fell to the nearby roof. Right behind us, I could hear the others dropping next to us. I got up, holding my hand out for Mina to take as I did a head count, my eyes immediately darting to Armin first.

Eren was hanging from the ledge and Mylius was standing in front of me, so the only one missing was…

"Thomas," I gasped, looking towards the abnormal Titan and seeing Thomas hanging from its mouth. I scowled, stepping forward to try and save him because if I didn't, Thomas was going to die, but Mylius threw out a hand, blocking my way.

"Don't be rash," Mylius hissed.

I gritted my teeth, clenching my hands into fists as the Titan tilted its head back and Thomas disappeared down its throat. Tears sprung to my eyes, but I willed them down with sheer willpower. I knew – had known Thomas. He – he didn't deserve that. I should have done something.

We just stood there as the Titan climbed down and walked away. Rage welled up in my chest. I felt so useless. I should have thrown Mylius's arm to the side and charged anyway. I should have grabbed both Thomas and Mina. I should have –

No. I had to stop doing that to myself. Thomas was – I swallowed – gone. I couldn't change that.

I noticed Eren's grip on the ledge turn white-knuckled. Even without seeing Eren's face, I knew he was getting angry too. Unlike me, however, I feared he didn't have the presence of mind not to charge. "Where do you think you're going?" Eren roared, the whizzing of his gear following as he shot off.

"Eren!" Armin and I cried. "Think first, goddammit," I growled, hands flying to my handgrips and snapping on a set of blades. This idiot…

"Don't run off on your own!" Mylius called after just as I jumped off the roof, following after Eren. "Dani!"

"Eren, don't just act," I yelled frantically, trying to catch up with him. "Try and think first – " I cut myself off. He was far too deep in his rage to hear a word I said. It wasn't a good idea to waste my breath like that.

I thought it was going fine. Eren was right in front of me, close enough that I would be able to pull him out of trouble. I thought Eren was focused. I guess I underestimated how blind with rage he was.

The five metre class titan came out of nowhere, jumping up and snapping its jaws. I let out a shriek as Eren went down, changing my course so I didn't fly above the Titan. I reeled in the wires only to fire them again at the Titan. It might have been suicide, doing that, but all I could think was that I had to kill it before it killed more of my comrades. I knew Armin was behind me and if he was eaten by it, I would never forgive myself.

"Hey, ugly!" I yelled, skirting its mouth to go behind it. I disengaged the hooks once more, shooting them into the walls of the house right next to it. It wasn't fast enough to turn and my blades winked right before they scored its flesh, the chunk of its nape falling to the ground with a disgusting squelch. I hauled myself onto the roof, eyes zeroing in on Eren's immobile form. "Eren!" I yelled, fear saturating my voice. It mingled with the others' screams and I just felt so helpless.

Make sure he doesn't die.

I took a running start, firing my grappling hooks forward and propelling myself forward with a little too much gas. I heard a thud near me and cursed, seeing Mina get yanked backwards into a wall. I changed course once more, the force of my turn causing my ears to pop.

The Titan grabbed a hold of her and I growled, my grip tightening. I wouldn't be able to make in time and why the hell wasn't she doing anything?

"Mina, fight back!" I demanded, but the wind stole the words right out of my mouth. I couldn't do anything but watch helplessly as she was held up to the Titans mouth and swallowed. "Mina!"

I shot my grappling hooks into the wall next to it, which was my first mistake. The Titan stared at my wires almost in confusion before reaching up and pulling.

Shit, I thought as I found myself flying forward at a speed too fast for me to control. It grabbed me out of the air, nearly crushing my ribs. I pummelled its hand, glaring into its vacant eyes. Goddamn abnormal Titans. I wasn't going to die like this!

But… there wasn't anything I could do right now. It had me trapped and I could smell its rank breath as I neared its mouth. The angle was too awkward for me to even attempt to cut off its hand (not that I could cut deep enough) and its saliva was starting to drip on me.

One metre lengthwise, ten centimetres across.

The weakness. The nape on the back of the neck. That was its dimensions. Typically, we struck from the outside because it was accessible, but I suppose theoretically, it could be struck from the inside.

I had a slim chance of surviving if I attempted to strike it from inside the mouth. I didn't know how deep it was or if it would even work from the inside. There was a lot I didn't know and it was a lot like falling from a cliff and praying I fell into the sliver of sea I had spotted from fifty feet up instead of the sharp rocks. Actually, the analogy wasn't that off; still involved life and death.

I stopped struggling and its grip slackened slightly. Not enough to let me slip out, but enough to avoid crushing my ribs into toothpicks. I had to… I had to allow myself to get eaten to save myself.

If this wasn't such a serious moment, I'd laugh at the irony.

My fingers were beginning to cramp from how tense I was keeping them. Pull the trigger too early and all I'd end up doing was enrage it. Pull the trigger too late and I was Titan food. Timing… timing was everything.

I suppressed a shudder as I landed on the Titan's tongue and slid down. Titan saliva was getting everywhere and I wanted to wail, but I had to focus on the back of its neck. I had to get the nape. All I had was one chance.

I sent a quick prayer to whatever god that was still listening and shot my grappling hooks forward, hearing a squelch as it impacted the soft flesh of the back of its throat. I propelled myself forward with a burst of compressed air, leading with my blades.

It happened in a flash. The blades pierced the back of its throat and I stayed there, hanging from my hand grips to keep from falling into the Titan's digestive juices. I didn't feel any shifts and there was the horrified moment where I thought I was going to die. Then, I felt myself start to tilt backwards.

The thud was almost strong enough to make me lose my grip, but I wouldn't be dislodged from my blades now. I had a death grip on my handgrips. Hesitantly, I took out both my blades, leaving me hanging on the wires. I was… hanging in the mouth.

It was odd, being parallel to the roof of the mouth. I… I actually managed to kill it?

I shook my head. No, I couldn't believe it. Maybe it had just fallen. If that was the case, I had to make sure it was dead before it got up again. I reeled myself closer to the soft flesh of the back of its throat and got to carving the flesh out.

I didn't know how long it took, but it took too long for me either way. As I made an opening through its nape, the blood kept dripping onto me. I had to squint to make sure the blood didn't go into my eyes and blind me. The heat was unbearable, but I simply gritted my teeth and pushed past the pain. Finally – finally, I made an opening large enough for me to crawl out. The sun almost blinded me, after spending so much time in the darkness, but with the sun came fresh air and it only had me hauling myself out of the Titan faster.

I emerged out into the open, gulping down fresh air to get rid of the rotten scent in my nostrils. I reeled my wires in and promptly tripped on the edge of the opening I had carved, tumbling to the ground.

I was winded, but I had to get up before that thing did!

Only… it didn't get up.

I stumbled back until my back hit the wall, staring up at the Titan that had eaten Mina. I had half expected it to get up again and try to eat me, but it lay face down on the ground, motionless. I wanted to pick something up and throw it at the Titan's body, just to make sure it was dead, but a wordless scream jerked me out of that line of thought.

"Armin," I whispered, recognising that voice. Fuck, it was dangerous out here and I hadn't seen Armin in god knows how long. I made my way onto a roof, spotting Armin's kneeling form near the edge of the roof and running to it. Sheer relief flooded through my body. He was still there and I felt like a horrible person for forgetting about him, even for a second.

He didn't even react when I thudded onto the roof, my footsteps sounding obscenely loud as I ran across the tiles, almost falling a few times.

"Armin, you're okay," I breathed, pulling him into a hug and burying my face into the crook of his neck. I could feel myself trembling and clenched my jaw, willing the trembling to subside. Armin was here and I could get back to looking after him and Eren. Eren! I stood back up, my eyes darting the rooftops for Eren. He had been knocked unconscious, hadn't he?

There was… no one. All I managed to see was a smear of blood across the roof facing us and it sent a cold shiver down my spine. That's where Eren was, wasn't he? If that was where he crash landed, where was he?

I turned back to Armin, whose eyes were staring blankly forward. I noticed tear tracks on his cheeks and paled. No, I couldn't have taken that long, had I?

"Where's Eren?" I asked, not even bothering to mask the fear in my voice. Armin didn't even flinch, but tears welled in his eyes and overflowed once more. No. "Armin. Where – is – Eren." He cried harder.

I let my handgrips clatter to the roof as I took him by the shoulders and forced him to look me in the eyes. I nearly flinched from the hollow look in his eyes.

"Tell me Eren's okay," I begged. I knew I sounded desperate, but I had made a promise and Eren couldn't die. He couldn't fucking die because even if he was the suicidal bastard, he was Eren. "Armin, open your mouth and tell me I just missed him. Say something!"

Armin's eyes finally slid shut as he shook his head slowly. My knees gave out under me, the sting not even registering. I screwed my eyes shut to stem the tears that threatened to fall, biting my lip in an effort to stay in control.

I knew what had happened the moment I saw Armin. I knew, but I still wanted to be proven wrong. I knew and I was right. I've never hated being right before in my life.

A sob escaped out of my mouth unbidden before I pressed my hand to my mouth to keep myself quiet. He wasn't dead. I knew he wasn't dead, but I didn't have proof. I still didn't have proof that my old life wasn't just a dream. Eren wasn't there in front of me and the hollow look in Armin's eyes told me everything. Eren is dead. I failed Mikasa and I failed myself.

I was so out of it I didn't realise we weren't alone on the roof until a hand rested on my shoulder. I pushed it away, lunging for my handgrips and pointing my blade towards my assailant on reflex.

"Dani!" Connie exclaimed and I put my blade down shakily, pressing my free hand to my forehead. I noticed it trembled and slowly curled it into a fist. "Holy shit, you look like hell."

"Connie?" I murmured, my senses dulled from the shock of losing Eren.

Connie frowned, hauling me up and scrutinising me. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded. "You're acting weird and Armin's completely out of it!" He pulled his hand away and a sticky trail followed after. "You're covered in… sticky stuff. Both of you. And what happened to your squad?"

"Squad?" I heard Armin repeat faintly. I saw him open his eyes and blink, looking around in a daze before his eyes landed on me. They widened in surprise before he tackled me, sending both of us crashing onto the roof. "Dani… you're alive!" He took my face between his hands and squished my cheeks. "I thought – I saw you get eaten but… you're alive!"

Tears trickled down his cheeks, dropping onto my face. I placed my hands over his, clutching them and slowly pulling them from my face. I didn't let go of his hands once my face was free, choosing to squeeze them in silent assurance that I was alive. Then, I pushed him off me, sitting up. My hair fell around my face in clumps and I realised the bottom half of my hair had been bitten off. I hadn't even realised.

"Eaten?" Connie repeated in disbelief, looking me over once more in a seemingly different perspective. "What exactly happened?"

Armin suddenly started screaming again. I jolted backwards in surprise, staring wide-eyed at Armin as he buried his hands into his hair and began tugging.

"Useless dolt," he wailed. "Just die! Fucking shithead!"

"Oi, calm down, Armin," Connie urged. "Where's everyone?"

Armin suddenly stopped. I looked down at my knees as tears of frustration and grief burned my eyes. Thomas, Mina, Mylius, Eren… they were gone. Dead.

I buried my face in my hands, biting my lip so hard it started to bleed. The coppery tang of blood coated my tongue, but it barely registered. I had thought I was ready, but I was so fucking wrong. I had allowed my comrades to die in front of me; had let Eren die. Armin wasn't the useless dolt. I was.

"Give it up, Connie," Ymir drawled somewhere behind me. "They got wiped out, except for the two of them."

My nails bit into my skin as I held back tears. Not here, not now. Not in front of the others.

"Shut up!" Connie yelled a little desperately. "Armin and Dani haven't said anything yet!"

"Can't you tell just by looking around?" she said irritably. "We don't have any more time to waste on them."

"She's right," I whispered, shutting my eyes again. "They're – they're gone. All of them. Thomas, Mylius, Mina…" My breath hitched. "Eren."

Silence descended over us. I uncurled myself from the ball I wound myself into, taking in a deep breath. I wiped my face, making sure there weren't any tears. No matter how much I wanted to sit there and feel sad over the entire situation, I didn't have that luxury. As much as I didn't want to, I took all my emotions and locked them into a box. I had to be clear-minded and analytical.

I also feared that I would go insane if I continued to let myself feel.

Ymir sighed. "It's a pity you guys ran into a bunch of Titans." I turned to pick up my blades and met Ymir's disinterested gaze. "I understand why you survived, but why did he? It just means Eren and the others died in vain."

I growled, finding myself next to Ymir with a blade pointed to her neck in the blink of an eye. "Don't you dare say that, you bitch," I hissed, pressing my blade into the soft skin of her neck.

She glanced down at my blade. "Your blade is dull," she commented.

I pulled my blade back, content to just hit her with it, dull or not, but Krista appeared before me just as I was going to strike.

"Stop it, you two," the blonde cried, looking up at Ymir and me with a pleading gaze. There were tears gathering in her eyes. "Everyone's just panicking. Our friends are all dying so suddenly. It's only natural!"

I stared Ymir down for another moment before withdrawing my blade from her, unclipping it from the handle and letting it fall. A small smirk settled on Ymir's lips as she slung her arm around Krista's neck.

"That's my Krista," she cooed, nuzzling the side of Krista's head. "Once this is all over, marry me!"

Krista, to her credit, only looked mildly disturbed.

"She's insane," I muttered, letting the other blade fall as I turned back towards Connie and Armin with a glower on my face. Ymir had always managed to rub me in all the wrong ways, but the two of us had never found the friction a problem. Maybe it was because we had never interacted before today.

Connie shook his head. "She's messing around more than usual," Connie grunted. He glanced at me before kneeling in front of Armin. "Anyway, the two of you can't just stay here. Can you stand, Armin?"

I watched him carefully as he stared at Connie's hand, but didn't take it. He stood up on his own, like he always did.

"Sorry for the trouble I caused," Armin apologised lowly. "I'll go join the rear guard."

I bit my lip in concern before stepping towards him and gripping his sleeve. "I'm going with you," I said firmly, leaving no room for arguments. The rear guard… well, I had to face Mikasa some time.

Connie caught the back of my jacket. I didn't turn, waiting for him to say whatever he needed to say. "Take care of him," he murmured.

I inclined my head in acknowledgement, stepping off the roof and letting my Maneuver Gear catch me, hearing Armin following behind.

I tried not to focus on the bloodstains painting the cobblestones. I had lost enough for today. If I thought about them, I might actually be sick.

Behind me, I heard Armin yell. I immediately stopped, falling against a wall with a crash. Armin crashed into the wall as well and I let out a gasp. One of his hooks hadn't gripped properly, my mind analysed as I let myself fall the relatively short distance to the ground, the pattering of my feet against the pavement echoing in this ghost town.

"Are you okay?" I panted, immediately checking for any serious injuries. Instead of just letting me fuss over him like I normally did, he pushed my hands away. I blinked, pushing away the unexpected hurt I felt at that action. "… Armin?"

"It's my fault," he whispered, looking up at me with blue eyes that had seen too much. "I'm the reason he died, Dani."

My hand hovered over his head before I let it rest atop his blonde hair. "Don't say that," I pleaded. "Please don't do this to yourself."

He opened his mouth to continue, but the grunts of exertion caught our attention. My eyes widened as I noticed Hannah, repeatedly performing CPR on Franz, lying motionless on the ground. We walked towards them; I felt like I was dreaming.

"Hannah… what are you doing?" Armin asked slowly. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Franz's obviously immobile chest. Dead, my mind noted.

"Armin, Dani, help me!" Hannah wailed, tears steadily tracking their way down her face. "Franz isn't breathing! I've given him CPR over and over and over again, but Franz…!"

"Hannah," Armin tried for a reasonable voice, "this place is dangerous, so let's hurry up and get – "

"We can't just leave Franz here!" she screeched. She continued her pointless actions, Armin and I just standing there.

"Please stop," Armin beseeched, his voice too low for her to hear. I looked at him, noticing he was crying again. Please stop crying. "It's pointless… he can't be saved. So please stop."

I reached down and wrestled her hands away from Franz. It didn't matter how many times she did CPR. It wouldn't bring him back to life.

"Let me go!" she screamed, almost hysterical. "Damn it, Dani, just let me – "

"He's dead," I said emotionlessly. Her eyes widened and I could see her trying to deny it, wanting to try and revive a corpse, but I tightened my grip on her wrists. "CPR can't bring back the dead, Hannah!" A tear landed on my hand, the handkerchief absorbing it.

I blinked and rain started to fall. I blinked again and let my tears be disguised by the rain.

•●•●•●•

I knocked my gas tank once more, gritting my teeth in irritation. Damn it. Apparently the damn tank was still leaking. There was no way I had used up that much gas. I'd have to repair it again. Maybe I just needed to wrap some tape around it.

I banged my head against the wall behind me, my eyes turned upwards to the greying sky. Useless. I was so useless. The bell sounded for us to scale the wall, but we couldn't even climb the wall if we wanted.

I couldn't. Not until I found Eren again. If I was lucky, maybe I could find Eren before Mikasa caught wind of his death…

"Let's do it!" Sasha exclaimed. I looked over at her lazily, not even containing enough energy to muster up enough emotions to respond. She looked so hopeful, like earlier today. I wish I had kept that optimism with me. "Stand up!" she urged. "If we all work together, we can do it! I'll be in front!"

I crossed my arms, eyes blankly staring at nothing and everything. Sasha was proposing we storm the gas supply with our feeble numbers? It was impossible. I glanced at Armin briefly, sitting next to me with his head bowed. No, I corrected, not impossible. If we had Armin, it wasn't impossible. At the moment, we didn't have Armin's bright mind, though. I didn't have the emotional capacity to drag him out of whatever dark hole he had fallen into.

I knocked my head against the stone wall behind me again, this time hard enough to sting. I couldn't even keep my best friend from spiralling into depression. What use was I?

For all my future knowledge, for all my skills, I hadn't managed to change anything. If anything, I had managed to make a bigger mess of things. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes in frustration. I was such a fucking idiot, thinking we'd all be fine.

Footsteps echoed slightly in the silence and I pulled my hands away, blinking at Sasha as she headed towards us. She had the most aching look of optimism on her face. I didn't know if I wanted to hug her or punch her.

"Armin, Dani," she chirped. "Let's go together and – "

She stopped short and I wondered if she had finally grown a brain. I turned, noticing she wasn't looking at me, but at Armin. I rested a hand on Armin's head, but he didn't react.

I sighed, pushing away from the wall. "Let's do it," I drawled. Sasha stepped back, blinking at me in confusion. I curled my hands into fists. "You want to take back our gas supplies? Let's do it."

"S-seriously?" Sasha gasped. I knocked my gas tank once again, clenching my jaw.

"Dead serious," I responded. I looked towards the figures on the roof nearby. "Get the others. We should group up. Then, we'll make a plan."

"It's over," I heard Marco whisper. He had a similarly blank look that was in Armin's eyes. He was my friend, but I wanted to yell at him, telling him to snap out of it. I had lost Eren, I was on the verge of losing Armin and once Mikasa found out about my failure, I didn't doubt I'd lose her too. "No matter what we do, we'll be dead before we make it out of here." He looked up to the sky, almost pleading. "I mean, I'm prepared to die… but what exactly am I going to die for?"

"You're already dead," I countered fiercely. Marco jerked, wide eyes turned towards me. My eyes were burning with tears again, but I shut my eyes to hide them. When they receded, I opened my eyes again with a glare towards Marco. "If you talk like that, you're dead. How do you expect to fight if there's a small voice in the back of your head telling you you're done for?" My breath hitched in anger as I spat, "It's pathetic!"

I looked around, at the defeated graduates who had seen too much in one day. "I know we've lost a lot. We all lost someone. But are we going to let three years of training go to waste like that? Are we going to give up when it mattered most?" A tear escaped from the corner of my eye, but I dashed it away furiously. "I refuse to give up. I'm not going to sit here and wait around for a Titan to eat me."

"Mikasa, weren't you with the rear guard?" Bertolt suddenly asked and I turned, seeing her heading towards me. I heard Armin breath hitch suddenly.

"Dani," she called. "I think I understand the situation." She looked around. "Where's Eren?"

I couldn't… I couldn't look her in the eye. Tense moments passed with silence dampening the already humid atmosphere. I could feel her concerned gaze and rubbed my eyes with my fist furiously, stepping away when she reached out a hand. I was such a failure. I didn't deserve Mikasa's kindness.

She started before turning to Armin, I presumed. She walked past me and I opened my eyes, seeing her kneel in front of Armin over my shoulder.

"Armin, are you hurt?" she asked gently. My mouth dropped open a little. Was that why she thought I was out of it? "Are you feeling okay?"

I turned reluctantly, tremors wracking my body. Seeing Mikasa was like ripping open a still healing wound. I couldn't tell her. I couldn't, but I had to. If I didn't, Armin would have to and he's beaten himself up over it enough.

Armin nodded jerkily and Mikasa seemed to relax minutely. She let out an exhale and stood up, looking around. "Where's Eren?"

Armin took a while before looking up with teary eyes, his tears tracing the tracks previously left behind. "Our squad," he gritted out, "squad thirty four…"

No, I couldn't let Armin do it. If Mikasa wanted to shoot the messenger, I'd gladly take the bullet. Mikasa was entitled to be mad at me.

I took over, raising my voice enough to mask Armin's voice and practically demand Mikasa looked at me. I allowed myself to slip into the emotionless mask I denied myself from putting on after my parents died. "Squad members Thomas Wagner, Mylius Zeramuski, Mina Carolina and…" I faltered, forcing myself to look into Mikasa's eyes. I took a deep breath. I'm sorry, Mikasa. "Eren Jaeger have fulfilled their duty and died heroic deaths in battle."

Shocked silence sounded around me and muttering started up, but all my attention was on Mikasa. She reeled back slightly, her head shifting from side to side as if to tell me to take back my words too. Her figure blurred as I let my tears well up and overflow, trailing down my cheek and eventually dripping off my chin.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, trying my best to convey the sorrow and regret I felt. I cared about Eren too, but I didn't think anyone could care about Eren as much as Mikasa did.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa," Armin said, making aborted motions like he was holding in a sob. "Eren died in my stead… I couldn't do anything!" his voice went a little squeaky. "I'm so sorry."

"I should have been there," I murmured. I should have been there for Armin and Eren. I gripped Mikasa's forearm, causing her to jerk reflexively as she stared at me with wide eyes of a lost child. "If you're going to get angry, you should be angry at me. Don't blame Armin. I'm the one who failed you… and Eren."

"Dani," Armin gasped, gripping the fabric of my pants near my calf. "Don't say that! I was the useless – "

"If you were useless, what does that make me?" I snapped. "I promised." My voice softened as I placed my hand on Armin's bowed head, sifting my fingers through his blonde hair in what I was beginning to realise was a comforting gesture for me. It reminded me that Armin was here with me, but I was also painfully reminded that Eren wasn't and it was my fault. "I was supposed to look over both of you."

"Armin," Mikasa said softly. I hadn't realised she had knelt in front of Armin again. She rested her hand over his. I heard Armin suck in a breath. "Take a deep breath." She turned to me and I understood why; Mikasa's eyes were dull and lifeless. "You too. This isn't the time to be emotional."

I scrubbed my tears away, taking a deep breath and blinking at the grey clouds hanging above us. How fitting. She was right. This wasn't the time nor the place to be emotional. There would be time for that later. A lot of time for that later.

"Stand up," Mikasa urged, eyeing me out of the corner of her eye and putting an encouraging hand on my shoulder. It wasn't quite an I forgive you, but more of an I understand. I nodded. I didn't fault her for holding some resentment towards me. If Mikasa had promised to look after Armin and had failed like I did, I wouldn't have been able to forgive her that easily either.

"Marco," Mikasa said, all business. I had to be like that. "If we take out all the Titans around HQ, we can replenish our gas supplies and climb the wall. Does that sound correct?"

Marco hesitated before nodding once. "Yeah… but even if you're with us, there's just too many…"

"We can do it." Her sharp voice cut through Marco's hesitant voice like a hot knife through melting butter. "I'm strong. Stronger than all of you." She raised a blade to the air, looking up at the sky that threatened to rain hell down upon us. "Extremely strong. I can kill all those Titans there, even if I'm alone.

"You're either incompetent or you're spineless cowards." She looked around and anger welled in my belly, mixing with shame as her gaze lingered on me, blade pointing forward at no one in particular. Mikasa… which did you think I was? "How pathetic. "You can sit here and suck on your fingers. Yeah, do that."

"Oi, Mikasa! What are you saying?" someone yelled in outrage.

"You want to fight all those Titans by yourself?" Tom cried, a silent accusation of insanity buried in his voice.

"There's no way you can do that!"

"If I can't, I'll die." It chilled me, the matter-of-fact way she said sounding it so unnatural. "But if I win, I'll live."

I looked around. One person had to step up and break the dam. "If you die, you won't die alone," I declared, my intent obvious from the way I held my handgrips. "I refuse to stay here like a sitting duck. I'm not a spineless coward."

She glanced at me, nodding once. "Unless we fight, we cannot win," she said and I could hear the echo of her words as she told me the story, one rainy night in the barracks. With that, she stepped off the roof and I cursed, giving myself a running start as she zipped away on her 3DMG.

As I propelled myself forward with my depleting gas, I turned and caught Armin's eyes. I'll be waiting, Armin.

I didn't doubt they would follow after us – that wasn't how we were trained – but as Trost flew by and it was only the two of us, I worried. I knew Mikasa was strong and although I couldn't quite match up to her skill, I wasn't just Titan food. The two of us still wouldn't be enough to retake HQ.

Suddenly, a rallying yell echoed through the town and for the first time since Eren's death, I smiled.

Mikasa dispatched a Titan without a blink and I swerved to avoid the falling carcass, my blades biting into the neck of another Titan in my way. The blood spurted onto me, evaporating from the temperature difference.

"Hurry, follow Mikasa and Dani!" Jean ordered. I spared him a surprised glance, noticing he was leading the cloud of graduates – no, soldiers that promised vengeance for mankind. "Let's keep this fight short. We need to kill them all before we run out of gas!"

Marco, you were right about him after all.

I turned to the left, my breath catching in my throat as I looked into the open mouth of a Titan. I shrieked, using a little too much gas as I propelled forward out of its reach. I head a jarring thud behind me and turned. The Titan was down and Jean was right next to me.

"Thanks!" I yelled.

He shot me a mildly irritated glare. "I won't make a habit of watching your reckless ass, Vale! Get your shit together."

I frowned. "Right," I bit out. I couldn't even be mad because he was right.

"Mikasa's just amazing," Connie observed. "How can she move that fast?"

I looked towards Mikasa. He was right; she was moving fast. Impossibly fast, in fact. She wasn't bothering with conserving her gas.

"Damn it," I cursed, bleeding as much gas as I dared to get closer to her. At the rate she was going, she'd deplete her gas before we make it halfway to HQ. She wasn't her usual self. It went beyond the blank look she had given me earlier.

I had almost reached her when she ran out of gas. Time slowed down for me as Mikasa hovered in the air, almost floating, before she fell.

"Mikasa!" I screamed, my voice echoing Armin's. I reeled in my wires, shooting them towards where Mikasa had fallen. No, I couldn't lose Mikasa like this. It didn't matter to me if she didn't want to be friends anymore. She had to be alive to break off our friendship, damn it!

I heard a loud crash and dust flew from where Mikasa had fallen. "Shit," I breathed, pulling the trigger harder so I could move faster.

"Dani, you're wasting your gas!" Armin cried frantically.

I glanced at him, immediately easing up on the trigger. "I won't waste my gas," I called back.

"You should rev it up hard, but just for a second…"

I let inertia push me on, continuing to use my momentum to swing around the buildings. My grip on my handgrips tightened, my blades starting to twinkle in the weak sunlight. Hold on, Mikasa. We're coming!

At that moment, a roar ripped through the air.