Loki was thanking the gods that he managed to slip into one of the rooms of the Make Mine Marvel hotel, before remembering that he was a god himself. Whoops.
Still, he was thankful that he didn't have to spend the night out in the freezing wilderness that was Central Park. The snow would have made sleeping arrangements there most…uncomfortable, to say the least. Even if he was a frost giant, he still demanded something soft to sleep on.
"To think that I almost had to sleep out in the cold like some kind of hobo. ME, a former prince of Asgard! It is almost unthinkable!" Loki had stripped his armor and horned helmet, and replaced them with the hotel's complimentary pajamas. The print, which was bright red, was a bit too gaudy even for Loki's taste, but the fabric was undeniably soft.
Flopping down on the bed, Loki turned on his side, and his eyes fell on a calendar that was hanging on the wall next to him. Apparently, it was the 24th, which meant that the following day was the popular human holiday known as Christmas. Loki snorted to himself.
"I suppose my brother would call me, what was that man's name, Scrooge. I care not for this holiday, full of idiots and kindhearted fools being nice to each other and trading useless gifts. Besides, it isn't like I have any family to celebrate with." Loki refused to swallow his pride and return to Asgard to celebrate with his parents, and he'd rather die than give his pompous brother a gift.
As for his Frost Giant father, well… He was pretty much stone cold dead. And the thought of spending the holiday with Thanos and The Other was terrifying, for more than one reason. Loki shivered, even under the bedsheets he spread over himself.
Indeed, spending the twenty-fifth by himself seemed like the wisest decision.
Still, I wonder if I could use Christmas as an excuse to get Captain America to lower his guard. Surely, he must spend that day with his family, or his friends. Perhaps both, since everybody seemed to freaking love the guy.
"I am not jealous. Nope, not at all. The very thought is utterly laughable!" Loki sneered, before realizing that no one was around to appreciate it.
A half an hour later, Loki sprung up from his bed, deciding that spending the whole day in bed would be impossible for him, and that he would rather spend his time trying to locate Captain America.
With a snap of his fingers, Loki donned his regal garb once more, before striding out the door, not caring who saw him. Unless, of course, one of the hotel staff asked for payment, in which case he would have to make a speedy exit via teleportation, one of the handiest spells Loki knew.
As Loki stepped out of the hotel's lobby into the brisk wind, he heard the tell-tale sound of singing. Wrapping a green scarf around his face, Loki headed towards the music, curious as to why anyone would stand in this gale just to holler some silly song?
Walking around the corner, Loki almost slipped on some ice, which didn't raise his mood. Grumbling to himself, Loki almost passed the carolers. One of them, a young child, quickly side-stepped in his path, and began to belt out lyrics to some Earth melody that Loki was not familiar with. It was obviously a Christmas song, though. Loki made his thoughts clear to the singer.
"Um, no. Actually, it's a Hanukkah song." Loki squinted at the pudgy boy.
"I don't know the word, I'm afraid." Loki wasn't embarrassed to inform the boy of this; who would believe the child anyway? The kid gaped at Loki.
"You don't? If you want, I could sing you a Christmas song, then. Jingle Bells is fun, or maybe I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is more your speed." Loki held a hand up.
"I'll have to pass on your, um, generous offer. I have someone to dispatch." The pitiful child grabbed Loki's hand.
"But I really need the money, sir." This child expected Loki to pay to hear a song? Insanity! Loki angrily shook the kid off, and used a teleportation spell. Loki hadn't had a destination in mind when he used the spell, and so he was surprised when he found himself inside the Avenger Tower.
Immediately, he was bombarded by questions from the AI butler. "What are you doing here? Please state your business." Loki raised his staff, and was about to zap the speaker system when a booming voice sliced through his thoughts.
"Brother!"
Loki whirled around as a certain burly thunder god rushed in through some sliding doors. Loki let out a faint, "Eep!" before he felt himself get crushed by well-meaning arms.
"Brother! I knew you would not miss out on Christmas!" Thor's laughter could probably be heard on every single floor of the tower, which was no small feat considering that there were over 50 floors!
Loki struggled in vain to remove himself from his brother's grasp, and then gasped when he realized that he had dropped his staff in the confusion. Hissing, Loki ceased his flailing, deciding to await his fate with dignity.
As Thor and Loki stood in the middle of the room, the automatic doors opened once more, and a bunch of footsteps entered the room. Loki forced his eyes to look up, hoping that Captain America would be there.
But Loki had no such luck; only Black Widow, Hawkeye, and the insufferable Tony Stark were in his presence.
Widow raised an eyebrow. "You know, I saw a Chinese poster like this once." Loki had no idea what she was talking about, but he didn't care to ask. Managing to untangle himself from his brother, Loki warily backed himself up against one of the large glass windows. He wondered if it was the same one he had thrown Stark out of that one time.
"So, um. This is kinda awkward," Tony piped up conversationally, moving behind the counter to pour a drink. "You know, Thor, you could have warned us that your brother was going to show up today." Thor looked affronted.
"I did not know he was planning a visit." Lightening up, Thor added, "Loki always did enjoy surprising me."
"I am against this. I don't trust the guy," Hawkeye muttered, giving Loki the evil eye. Being an archer with excellent eyesight, the gaze almost literally pierced Loki.
"Down, boy," Natasha ordered Hawkeye, who placed his shades over his eyes. Widow rewarded him with a smile. Loki wanted to puke.
"Actually, Thor, I was just leaving and-" Thor held his hand up, interrupting.
"Captain America will be joining us shortly, and then we will feast and be merry! Oh, what were you saying?"
Loki smiled, and sat down on a green couch as if he owned the place. "Oh, just that I would love to stay for Christmas dinner. I do enjoy hanging with my brother's comrades." Thor beamed, Tony looked amused, and Natasha had to elbow a grimacing Hawkeye.
"Well, I guess that settles that," Tony shrugged, taking a sip from his glass cup.
Deciding it would be more fun to wait at the table, the group headed to the large, wooden table that was built to seat over a dozen people. Loki sat down first, placing his feet on the spotless mahogany. A glare from Black Widow changed that in a hurry.
"So how long must we wait?" Loki asked, impatient to get this over with. Sure, he could live over a hundred years, but that didn't mean he had to be patient.
"Actually, we won't have to wait. We can start eating; no use letting the food get cold." Tony ended his statement by snapping his fingers. On command, the surface of the table fell in, and a small elevator that lay underneath rose up. Loki couldn't believe his eyes; one of the largest platters of food he had ever seen now adorned the table!
Platters contained smoking turkey, glazed with gravy. Salad bowls contained an assortment of green and red colored food, with dressing that made Loki's mouth water. Potatoes and yams weren't left out, and someone had brought some chocolate cake, laced with whipped cream.
"Isn't it rude to start eating without Steve?" Hawkeye asked. Loki never wanted to murder someone as much as he did Hawkeye in that moment.
Tony shrugged. "Nah, he gave me the go-ahead if he was late." Loki felt something towards Tony he never thought he would never feel regarding the billionair – gratitude.
Murmuring a quick prayer to Frigga, Loki grabbed the nearest plates (both filled with strawberries!) and began to dig in, his stomach craving the food. After he stuffed his mouth full of the fruit, Loki remembered to mind his manners, and daintily wiped off the crimson juices from his mouth with an embroidered napkin.
The Avengers shrugged as they began to fill their plates, and soon clinking noises from the utensils hitting the plates began to fill the room, and Stark even convinced JARVIS to play some light classical music, to "Fill the joint with some ambiance."
Loki found it all to be a bit pretentious.
"Pass the loaves of bread, please." Loki turned to Hawkeye, who was looking at him expectantly. Sighing, Loki grabbed the small bundle of bread and handed it to Hawkeye's outstretched arm.
Widow elbowed Hawkeye once again, and after some fidgeting, muttered, "Thanks, I guess" to Loki. Loki smirked at the archer, before raising a spoonful of steaming soup to his lips.
As the atmosphere began to turn cozy, with Stark bringing out the champagne, and Hawkeye telling some funny stories from the war, and Thor bragging about how much alcoholic beverages he could down in one go, Loki had to admit that this feast wasn't so bad.
"I suppose even you Avengers aren't so bad when you're filling your stomachs with food," Loki reluctantly told his adversaries. Hawkeye coughed, loudly.
"We're only being nice to you because today is Christmas. Any other day, and your sorry butt would be in jail." Thor glared at his teammate, and Hawkeye suddenly found some fascination with his chicken leg.
Natasha crossed her arms. "Trust me, back when I had to do undercover work, many of the places I would be stationed at didn't celebrate Christmas, at least not in the usual way. Let's just say that in some countries, rats would substitute for turkey." Loki almost lost his appetite.
"Also, most of the places didn't have heating," she finished. Loki was surprised that anyone would spend such a day alone and cold.
His surprise must have been evident; Stark quickly interjected, "You're supposed to be an Abominable Snowman, right? Why would you look like you'd care?" Loki sniffed.
"I don't like being in my frost giant form, thank you very much. And what the heck is an Abominable Snowman?" Hawkeye doubled over, laughing.
Annoyed as he was, Loki had to admit…sitting here, and eating good food with people he knew – that wasn't such a bad way to spend the evening.
Then the phone rang.
Tony quickly excused himself, and dashed to the phone. Loki decided that the rich human wouldn't mind if some of his apple pie slices went missing, so the god of mischief helped himself. When Stark returned, he had a look of disappointment on his face.
"What ails you?" Thor asked. Tony sighed, and addressed the group.
"St – erm, Captain America won't be able to join us." Everyone dropped their spoons and forks. Even Thor was only able to shovel down three pieces of garlic bread before gasping.
"What the frack do you mean?" Loki slammed both palms against the table, causing some of the wood to crack from the force. Everyone around the table tensed, and Hawkeye raised his bow in a not-very-subtle manner.
"Apparently, he was on his way when he passed by a children's hospital. I guess he felt he could do more good by cheering up the kids on Christmas. He says to just put some food in the fridge for him later." Tony finally breathed after the lengthy sentence.
Loki seethed for a few moments, before forcing a serene smile on his face. In a level voice, he asked, "Did he inform you exactly which hospital he would be at?" Loki even batted his eyes at Stark, just in case.
"Loki, I'm not an idiot," was the short reply. Snarling, Loki raised his scepter and fired a blue-tinted energy blast at the billionaire. At the last second, Hawkeye jumped in front, taking the full-brunt of the attack.
"Tell Cap that I died – a hero," Clint said weakly, before falling into a coughing fit. Loki rolled his eyes.
"That wasn't even close to being a fatal blow, but only because I am now well-fed." Raising his scepter once more, Loki waved it in a circle, opening a portal.
"Tata!" With that, Loki jumped inside the portal. As it was closing, the trickster heard Tony mutter, "Can't he just teleport?" Thor replied, "He likes to make his exits a bit fancier."
As the snow fell, Loki found himself back in the streets of New York. It was obvious because of the smell of trash in the air, and the busy shoppers who shoved Loki aside as they hustled down the street. One lady somehow managed to smack Loki's head with a pink shopping bag.
Grumbling to himself, Loki decided to trudge back to the hotel, grumpily kicking snow with his boots. It was only when someone tapped him on the shoulder that Loki lost his temper.
"If your first few words hold no interest to me, I will blast you into at least a hundred pieces!" Whirling around, Loki prepared to kill the human – but he recognized the child. Tilting his head, Loki gasped.
"You're the brat who was asking for money earlier, are you not?" The kid nodded.
"Have you changed your mind yet, mister?" The boy was pouting, and his eyes were beginning to water. Loki wanted to ignore the kid – but there was a thought that wouldn't stop bugging him. He really wanted to prove that he was no less a man that that stupid Captain America.
"Kid, close your eyes," Loki ordered. The kid looked a bit weary, but he did so. Raising his fancy scepter, Loki brought it down on the pavement hard. A few sparks flew, slowly changing into a solid, gold form. Picking up the gold, Loki placed it in the kid's gloved hands.
The kid shot open his eyes upon feeling the weight on his hands, and said eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. "No way! Is this for real, mister?"
"I don't joke about gold." Except when I do, Loki thought gleefully.
Grinning, the kid ran off, probably to trade the gold for some cash. Deciding that he had done his good deed of the year (not to mention that he had helped a kid, just like Capt. America!), Loki teleported back inside the hotel where he could sleep in a room illegally.
The Other had finally found Thanos, who was standing under a tree in the middle of Central Park.
"What are you doing here?" Thanos glared at his subordinate, raising a finger to his lips, the universal sign for, "Shut up before I kill you." The Other shut his mouth, and only then, he heard the faint sounds of music, coming from a bit deeper in the park. It was a song, something about a silent night. It wasn't unpleasant.
Thanos nodded his head, absorbing the music. "It must be a merry Christmas, indeed." The Other stared at his boss, horrified. What had that holiday music done?
"The singing isn't anything special," Other grumbled. Thanos smacked Other's head.
Shaking his head, Other asked, "Do you need a coat? It is chilly here." Thanos gave him a look of disgust.
"I sit on a throne somewhere in the cold depths of space. Why would I need a coat in a mildly frigid environment like this?" Sighing, Thanos walked away from his servant, and towards the bright music below.
To Be Continued
Well, that was fun to write. Who doesn't want to see Loki hang with the Avengers for Christmas, right? Even Thanos got in the spirit (somewhat). I mean, I love Christmas songs. Who doesn't?
For those confused by Widow's "Chinese poster" line, Google "Chinese Poster Thor: The Dark World" and you'll see. ;)
Anyways, Merry Christmas!