AN: Okay, please nobody kill me! I'm going to be MIA until late August/September. I'm really really really sorry, but I'm going away and I won't have access to the internet. I'm not ditching this story! I will be back! I'm hoping to continue writing while I'm away, and then just type it up when I get back and post it. SO, hopefully, you will have more than one chapter (BUT I MAKE NO PROMISES!) PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP ON ME OR HOUND MY INBOX/REVIEWS WITH MESSAGES TO UPDATE. I WILL BE BACK! MAYBE WITH MORE THAN ONE CHAPTER AND THE START OF ANOTHER STORY, EVEN. That is all. Thank you. And enjoy!
Chapter Ten
At seven o'clock, Jane found herself in front of Maura's huge house in Beacon Hill. She hesitated before ringing the doorbell. When the door opened, the sight literally took her breath away. Maura was wearing light-washed jeans and a salmon colored button up shirt. She wasn't wearing any shoes, which Jane thought was the most adorable thing, and her blonde hair was cascading down her back. Even when she's being casual she's gorgeous. "Um, I brought Italian. It's not as good as the homemade I had growing up, but it's the closest I've found. I hope that's okay." Jane explained.
"I love Italians!" Maura said quickly. "I mean, Italian. Food. Italian food. I love Italian food." Maura rambled, trying to explain.
Aw, she's cute when she's flustered. Jane smiled at her. "It's okay. And I brought wine. You said you didn't drink beer, so I thought that would be good."
"Jane, that's so sweet. You really shouldn't have."
"Well, I did." Jane responded, teasingly. "You gonna let me in now?"
"Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry! How rude of me! Please come in."
"It's okay, Maura. I was just kidding." Jane said, as she walked into the huge house. Wow, this girl must be loaded. Jane followed Maura into the kitchen.
"I figured we could eat and talk first and then watch a movie." Maura told her.
"Yeah, sounds good." Jane began to lay out the food as Maura poured the wine. "Um, just to be clear, um, sorry if this sounds awkward, but this isn't a date, right?" Jane asked awkwardly.
"Oh! No! I mean, I figured we should get to know each other as friends. Is that okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, that's good because I'm not really in the mindset of being on a date. Besides, a lesbian and bisexual can be just friends, right?" Jane laughed, trying to ease the tension.
"Of course. Why couldn't they be?" Maura asked, clearly confused.
"Never mind." Jane took a sip of wine. "Let's eat."
They made small talk while they ate, mainly about how Maura was liking Boston, since she was new in town. When they finished they moved to the couch.
"So, tell me about yourself. What should I know about Jane Rizzoli?"
"Well, I'm a twenty eight year old homicide detective. I grew up in Boston and my parents still live in the house I grew up in. My Ma and Pop were always pretty good growing up. I was a total Daddy's girl and my Ma always nagged me, but I loved them both. I really miss them. And I have two younger brothers. You may have met Frankie at a crime scene. And my other brother is Tommy, who I haven't seen in years. Right now, I live in a small apartment by myself and spend most of my time at work. I haven't been on a date in a while, but my love life isn't my top priority right now. I didn't really go to college. I went to a junior college and went into the academy. I worked patrol awhile, then Vice as a hooker, and now I'm in homicide. And that's about it."
"Why don't you see your parents anymore?"
"Well, I haven't seen them since I came out about six years ago. My Ma seemed okay with it, but my Pop was furious. Screamed how I was an abomination and told me to never come back to the house or see them again. Frankie says I should try to talk to my Ma, but I'm still pretty upset. She chose him over me. I just don't understand how she could do that. But, I still talk to Frankie. He's a great little brother. He's very loyal. He's stuck by me through just about everything. I came out to him when I was eighteen, but he knew long before that. I had my first girlfriend ay sixteen, and he knew back then. We actually broke up because I wasn't out to my family. I mean I was out to all my friends and out at school, but I guess that wasn't enough. Believe it or not, that's not the only relationship that was ruined because I wasn't out to my family."
"Wow. And your brother, Tommy? Do you not see him because he's not okay with you being gay?"
"Um, no. Tommy's been in and out of jail since he was seventeen and got a DUI and hit a priest with his car. He's got multiple DUIs, a couple drug arrests, petty burglary, and stuff like that. But once you got a record, you know? I never actually told him. I was worried he wouldn't take it as well as Frankie. Tommy and I were never as close as Frankie and I. Shit, why am I telling you all of this?"
"Perhaps because you feel comfortable with me. I certainly feel comfortable with you."
"Tell me about yourself."
"Oh, um, well, I was always kind of an outcast. I really didn't have many friends. I, in some ways, preferred being alone. I read a lot. I still do. I was a weird child. No one wanted to be my friend. The only attention I got was in college, before people really got to know me. They found me attractive, but not much else. When I was a young girl, the kids teased me. Maura-the-Bora. The meant boring, but it didn't rhyme. My parents never knew about all the teasing and insecurities. I was adopted, but I don't think they really wanted me. They worked all the time, traveling everywhere. They were very into their jobs and each other, which left me basically on my own. When I was younger, I had nannies, but when I was ten I went to boarding school. I think I sent away for the brochure myself. They were delighted. They knew I was bright. Maybe they thought it would be for the best. They gave me so much, when I was younger, but it was all material. All I wanted, needed, was love and attention, but I never got it. I mean, I never asked for much. I don't think I knew how. So anyway, boarding school. As we got older, the girls became more and more boy obsessed. I liked guys, too. I thought they were attractive, but I also found myself attracted to females. I did research, and began to identify as bisexual. Of course, I never told anyone. Like I said, I didn't really have any friends. So, I kept it a secret. It's a good thing no one ever asked me because I can't lie. I get hives and go vasovagal." Maura notice Jane's confused look. "I faint. I can begin to hyperventilate at even the thought of lying, so again, it was good no one ever asked me. I was able to join in on the boy talk, so I don't think anyone was even the slightest bit suspicious. I had a few crushes, nothing major, and everything was fine until I was fifteen. It was the beginning of my junior year because I was on the track to early graduation. I was in as many accelerated classes as possible. I knew how to speak Spanish, French, Italian, and was teaching myself Latin. I knew extensive amounts in biology and chemistry, and was the head of every one of my classes. So, everyone hated me. I was too smart. I intimidated people, scared people away, or simply bored them until they ran away. I've always had a sort of social anxiety, some might even call it a phobia, so in order to calm myself I'd blurt out random facts that no one cared about. I've never had a good filter between my thoughts and words. So anyway, I got a roommate who's name was Isabelle. She was new to the school and in many of my classes. She was a junior, too, but she was sixteen. She was beautiful and intelligent. The moment I met her, I fell hard. I'd never had such a huge crush on someone. We became friends quickly from living together. The boarding school was in England, but she was from France. We spoke to each other in French and had discussions about science and art and poetry and language. I thought she was perfect. She wasn't as smart as me, but that didn't offend or intimidate her. Living with someone you have a huge crush on is hard. I was glad we changed in the bathroom or she surely would have caught me staring at her. So one day, about four months into the school year, we were sitting on her bed talking about poetry. She began reciting this incredibly romantic poem to me. Well, I didn't exactly know if she meant to be reading it TO me, but that's how it felt. So, when she was done, I just leaned over and kissed her. God, it was perfect. It was my first kiss ever, and with a woman, and it felt so right. You know, that night, we just didn't stop kissing. And for hours. That kissing turned into making out, which turned into second base, which somehow turned into us waking up next to each other, naked, both no longer virgins. And I know what you're thinking, Jane. Fifteen is much too young to have sex, but I disagree. And it wasn't exactly a conscious decision. We both got carried away. After that, we dated in secret. We behaved like ordinary friends or roommates, but inside our bedroom walls, we spent hours in each others' arms. It was comforting, too, having an ally when I was so used to being alone. But then the year ended. We both agreed to meet up at the beginning of our senior year to see if our feelings remained. And boy, mine did. I counted down the days until I could see her. But when I went back to school, she wasn't there. I asked around and eventually found out her parents had sent her away to be treated. As if she could be cured of being gay. And so I never told anyone. I've never told my parents. I know they cannot do anything drastic to me now, but I still fear their rejection. The only people I've told were the slew of one-night stands or extremely casual relations I've had with other women. I dated men to please my mother, but derived little pleasure from it. I was never very emotionally connected to men. I'm sure you've heard of Garrett Fairfield." she paused for a breath and Jane nodded. "Well, my mother wanted me to marry him. Our relationship was never that serious, in my opinion. Though of course, the most serious relationship I've had was with Ian. I met him doing relief work in Africa. I thought he was the love of my life. I would have married him, but he wasn't constant enough. Yes, he was passionate, and clearly adored me. But his work still came first." Maura sighed. "Wow. I have been going on, haven't I?"
Jane shook her head. "No, well, yeah, but it's good. I like talking to you." Jane paused, working up the courage to ask the question burning in her brain since Maura had mentioned it. "But, um, Ian? The love of your life? Not your, I don't know, soulmate, perhaps?"
"Well, yes I suppose there is a difference. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing."
Jane gave her a confused look. "I don't understand. Shouldn't you have a name…" Jane trailed off as Maura rolled up her sleeve to reveal a bare wrist. "Oh, wow, sorry." Jane mumbled, unsure how to respond.
"Nothing to be sorry about, Jane. It's simple. I was born without a name on my wrist."
AN2: HAHA I'M EVIL. THAT'S A CLIFFHANGER. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I GET BACK TO FIND OUT. HAHA. BUT SERIOUSLY, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.