Submitted by Jenn11: Roman apologizes to Dean for thinking it would be Dean who would turn on them. Dean storms off and we have that amazing confrontation between Seth and Dean outside the hotel. Roman shows up in time to hear Dean say he'd never once thought of betraying them. Seth tells Roman Dean's ready to listen now. Roman and Dean leave, then Seth goes back to his room for the very interesting conversation with Kane. Since Seth said Dean was ready to listen, I'd love to hear what Roman had to say to Dean. Seemed like Dean might have needed a bit of reassurance...
Companion piece to i burn like the sun, sway like the sea. Hope this is somewhat satisfying 333
It's quiet in the car after Dean's epiphany. Roman doesn't say anything, giving his brother a chance to take those words back – if he feels the need to –, appreciating the progress Dean has just made. He can see his friend's fingers shaking slightly in his lap, but other than that he seems calm and collected.
Deep down he must have known for a long time that he is in love with Seth. He probably just always pushed that thought away because he's not ready to let their little brother back in.
Roman would gladly help Dean with that problem, but in the end all he can do is stay by his side and support his every move, because the only ones deciding what'll happen to them as a couple are those two.
So he concentrates on the reason why his best friend ran away tonight to beat up Seth. 'You dinged him up pretty good,' he breaks the silence, remembering very vividly the red marks on their brother's throat and the bloodstains all over his face and shirt.
Roman will make sure to apologize for inadvertently siccing Dean on him, because he doesn't want to live with the guilt of being responsible for that.
His best friend shoots him an indignant look, cocking his eyebrows. 'Is that your way of telling me that could have been me; I'm glad it wasn't?' 'Totally,' Roman admits bluntly, both of them laughing flatly.
The time for beating around the bush is over. There is still so much Dean has to understand, so that their brotherhood won't fall apart completely. Roman doesn't want to have that on his conscience either. It's enough that they're trying to help Seth deal with that.
'You got me worried when you just ran away,' he starts, hesitating for a second to gather his thoughts. Dean takes advantage of the silence, trying to pacify him. 'I'm sor–'
'I'm not finished yet.' He uses his big brother voice – stern and dominant – to show his friend to better not interrupt him again. Roman needs to get this out now or he'll never find the right words again. And Dean really scared him when he pulled a Houdini on him.
'I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't run to Seth. I mean I followed your trail of destruction, but I only found you when he texted me where exactly you are and that you weren't joking when you threatened you'd kill him. He had– Dean, you strangled him. This isn't funny anymore.'
It never has been, to be honest. They're all in way over their heads, but it's painfully showing now that he and Dean can't deal with this whole situation either. They're just some heartbroken, lost and angry boys that had no idea how cruel the world would turn out to be.
Dean looks down at his hands, faint traces of Seth's blood sticking to his skin but he doesn't try to wipe it off. 'I didn't mean to. It just happened and when I realized what I was doing I let go. I swear.' He believes him, no question about that, but it's the act itself that scares Roman.
Dean has never before lashed out on his brothers and now Seth managed to crack that impregnable wall in Dean's head. If he was unpredictable before, what is he able to do now?
Roman sighs, muttering under his breath, 'Today, yeah. What about the next time?' Dean bites on his bottom lip and turns his head away, watching a couple of teenagers disappear into a park.
He gets it. Dean blew a fuse and Seth was unlucky enough to be right there with him. Or rather, he sought him out to find someone he could blame for the war taking place inside of him. There's no use blaming his friend for what he did. He doesn't want to give Dean the impression he's angry.
Which he is, because that's just not how they do things in their family, but he's willing to give his best friend some time to deal with this on his own until he's ready to talk. Preferably with Seth, since he was the victim here.
And his agenda is slightly different right now anyway. This is about Roman begging for pardon, not Dean trying to murder their baby brother. God, their life is such a mess these days.
'Dean, seriously, I'm not saying you have no right to be mad but please, don't just run away. Give me and Seth a chance to sort things out and then you can still pull off one of your beloved disappearing acts,' he adds, gently taking his friend's fingers into his hand. Dean's supposed to know that he's there for him no matter what.
'We understand you need your time off and we want don't want to take that away from you, but you can't go around and lose your shit like that.' His brother withdraws his fingers, not able to accept any kindness at the moment. There's still some fight left in him though. 'That was the first time–'
'Dean, no. Just... don't,' Roman urges his friend not to go there. He doesn't want to hear yet another excuse.
'You usually take all your anger out on yourself, which worries us too, believe me, but this is not the right way either. You can come to us, no matter how you feel or what's bothering you. If it makes you feel better, you can punch me in the face. But please don't try to deal with everything on your own.'
Don't make a mistake and live to regret it. That's something he should tell both of his friends.
'I can't promise–' 'I know,' he deliberately cuts Dean off, testing if his brother will explode again, but Dean just looks like a beaten down puppy. Alright, time to slowly let him off the hook then. He's almost made his point anyway.
'And I don't want you to try and change who you are. Just think about it and open up once in a while. Your burden might be yours, but you don't have to carry it alone. I really don't get why I have to preach this over and over.'
Both his brothers are stubborn as a mule. But then again, he's not any different. It's a family trait no one actually needs.
Dean rubs over his forehead as if he's getting a headache, asking mockingly, 'While we're having this awesome heart-to-heart, you wanna tell me some more about the trust issue thing?'
Seth was right. His best friend is ready to listen – sarcasm as his last resort aside. Every step forward is one in the right direction. Roman learned a long time ago not to care about the pace or size of the steps.
'Look, Dean. I don't want you to think I never once trusted you. Because I do. Always have and always will. It's just that you seemed most likely to want to leave sooner or later.' This has nothing to do with mistrust. He just thought it'd be the truth that Dean would realize he's better off without them.
His partner in crime whips his head around, staring at him aghast, mouth slightly open. 'Because I am a lone wolf at heart?' Dean spits out, the words visibly hurting him more than Roman. No, that's not what he meant.
Dean is part of their pack now, but he does sometimes have the air of a loner surrounding him. Or, Roman should clarify, the air of a lone fighter, a survivor.
'Because Seth and I used to be dead weight,' he corrects his friend, parking the car in front of their hotel. Dean doesn't miss a beat, hollering furiously, 'That's bullshit.' Roman can hear how insulted his brother is by this, how much it pains him, but he really should let him finish his sentences.
'I know now,' he reassures his friend, locking the doors so Dean won't get the chance to disappear again. 'But the past three years I watched you get better and better in the ring, Seth easily following your every step while I struggled learning the basics. I felt like the third wheel for the longest time.'
'You weren't,' Dean objects, staring him in the eyes defiantly. Roman smiles, even sweeps a little curtsy to show his gratitude. He can't fathom what's gotten into him to ever question Dean. 'Thanks. Point is though, you two were competing on a totally different level. You still are.
'And then, Seth and I became a tag team and you were the US champion. I guess we were just so focused on ourselves that we sometimes accidentally pushed you away, but in my mind I misinterpreted that as you wanting to walk away and the only thing keeping you with us was you feeling responsible.'
Dean sighs displeased, rolling his eyes. 'It's called loyalty. That's why I never left. Why I never even thought about it. You are my brothers. No matter what happens, I don't leave family behind. Never.' He knows that his best friend isn't only talking about The Shield now. He stayed with his disgrace of a mother until it almost killed him.
Dean is way more caring than is probably good for him.
Before he unlocks the car, Roman smiles proudly at his friend, ruffling through the dirty blond hair. He should never have made the mistake of suspecting him. Not only because he betted on the wrong horse.
'You know, people might think you're lucky that Seth saved you from a life on the street and that I keep you under my guarding wing but truth is, you're the one we can't live without. Without Dean Ambrose, there is no us. And we don't want there to be one.'
Dean stares at him for a second – disbelief and irritation casting a shadow over his face – but then he grins widely, playfully batting Roman's hand away while demanding, 'Stop flattering me.'
There's insecurity tainting those words, but Roman knows Dean good enough to ignore it for now. His friend still doesn't understand how he deserves having a family or being loved by someone and showing Dean he belongs to them takes its time. They're working on one problem after the other.
So he just opens the car and they get out, Roman throwing their room key at him. 'You wanna trash talk about Seth now?' Dean laughs lightly, though there's a moment when it turns sad. It's over as soon as he walks up to his friend, kicking the door shut with his heel.
'Without him hearing it?' 'You know what I mean,' he corrects his brother, throwing a questioning look at him. He was thinking about the love epiphany Dean had, or rather the courage to finally admit it out loud.
The realization must be really scary and intimidating for Dean. Now that he's heard the words tumble out of his friend's mouth, he wishes he hadn't ruined the surprise for Seth by telling him earlier. Roman better won't share this particular secret with anyone and if Seth dares to ever mention it to Dean, he'll cut his tongue off.
Dean throws his boots into a corner, taking off his shirt to let it fall to the ground where he's standing. Roman looks at the piece of cloth, wondering why his friend sometimes forgets his manners altogether. It's probably whenever there's too much of the past fogging up Dean's mind.
Somehow his brother finds his way back to their conversation, shaking his head. 'No, that was enough for one night. I need to come to terms with all of this first.'
Deal with it. That was a good joke. Dean will take it to heart, think about it so often that the words start to turn bitter and venomous until he ends up remembering only the dark side of everything. 'You mean ignore it until it bites you in the ass?' he asks, ready to clobber Dean. Didn't he just say five minutes ago that sharing is caring?
It'll take a long time until Dean willingly opens up to them again. He could rip Seth's head off for doing this to his best friend.
But tonight, it wasn't just Seth doing the hurting. And seeing how all this turned out, he just has to say it one more time, so Dean will believe him and never forget it. He'll never doubt Dean's rare and powerful loyalty again. If anyone has proven to be trustworthy, it's his partner in crime. 'I'm sorry.' For damaging something broken even further.
His brother looks at him, face serious and weary, nodding with a thin smile on his lips. 'Yeah, me too.'