A/N: I'm alive!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot...

Ch. 4: Insight

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing. ~Maurice Maeterlinck

The room was dimly lit, but that didn't matter to it's two occupants. A sly grin was plastered to Feliciano face as he looked upon his brother. Lovino stared at the floor. Blood dripped off his chin from a split lip and ran down his body from various lacerations.

"Ve~ I hope you've learned why I had to punish you, fratello. You know I don't like to hurt you, but you broke the rules. And I hate rule breakers."

Lovino continued to stare at the floor. He held back cries of pain as his twin placed a hand on his back. "Why?" It was almost less than a whisper. Almost not loud enough to be heard.

"Why what, fratello?" Feliciano leaned in so his mouth was next to Lovino's ear. "Why am I a monster? Why am I like this? Hm? What-s is it, fratello?"

"Why did you change! Where is the fratello I grew up with? Why can't I find him!" Lovino let out a strangled sob as the emotions he had held in so long broke through his strong, uncaring demeanor.

"Because I killed him. He is no longer a part of this world. Forget about him." Feliciano's voice was calm and dead, but Lovino knew, under the surface was hate and pain. Far more then he cared to think about. He could feel Feliciano smile, words slipping from his mouth. Quiet words. Words that should never have been said by his carefree, airhead of a brother.

"Each of us play a part. Wear a mask. Become someone we're not for those we call friends. We hide behind a wall of fabricated character as a way to belong. We never show the world our true face. Our true self. The person whom we push behind the curtains and hope no one ever finds out about. We hide the scars with a smile or a harsh word. We mold ourselves to the will of others. A little make up. A new outfit. Words we know never should come out of our mouths are spoken. We are nothing but masked dolls. We let others who are also hiding paint their face on us. We are all hiding. All pretending to be so held together. But in the end we're not. No one ever is."

Lovino's eyes widened. This was the first time Feli had said anything other then to forget he ever existed as a happier version. That he had ever had a true smile on his face. Was he truly opening up?

"W-what makes you think that? When did that become your logic?" The hand on his back shot to the bash of his neck. Feliciano pushed down on that one spot.

"When my world came apart. And you didn't care. You didn't care when my world fell apart! Did you ever really care! No. Never. You had all you needed. I was just a fluke. A failure. I could never do anything right, could I? Never was good enough for you."

Tears rolled down Lovino's face. So it was his fault? He had had a feeling he somehow had helped to create this version of Feliciano, but to out right here it. His tears flowed a bit faster at the thought.

"Is that what this is all about? Me not coming to see you more often?" Feliciano let out a loud, dry laugh.

"You not coming to see me more oft~! Ha! No. It was never about that. Never. I stopped caring if you ever would. You never seemed to care that I was even your family, let alone your twin. All that mattered was him. He was my world. He gave me a reason when I had given up. I was so close to giving in. To letting you have it all. To just giving up and fade away. I was useless. A failure. Nothing important to anyone. Nonno was gone. You never cared. Austria only wanted me for the land he would gain. Hungry never had the time. So I went along. Hiding all I thought. Then he gave me a reason. Made me dare to hope. He showed me something I didn't, no, couldn't get from any of you. Not one of you could make me feel that way he did." Lovino dared to look over his shoulder. His twins eyes stared at the ground, tear welling up in the corners of his eyes. They would fall. They never truly did now-days.

"How? How did he make you feel that none of us could? Please I want to understand. I want to know how, why, you let yourself become this!" His voice was hoarse, rough and quiet. Tears continues to fall down his face, soaking his pants.

"Completare." That one word spoke more then anything his brother could have said to him and hit him harder then a speeding train. A small smile made it's way to his brother's face. Not one the bright, oblivious smiles he usually wore, no an emotionless smile. A smile that held back none of the pain or hatred his brother felt. A calm smile. A dead smile. Feliciano's true smile.

"My world fell apart and me with it. Sorry to disappoint, but this is me. This is what happens when your to broken to be pieced back together." The pressure on the back of Lovino's neck disappeared as Feliciano straighten up. "I am the Mafia! I am strength! I guess this is arrivederci to the Feliciano, the Italia del nord, the world knew. It's for the best you know. I did so hate playing the fool."

Okay! I know it's a filler...sorta...but I thought you all needed to know I was alive and well. Mostly...being stuck in a house for several days with a nightmare six-year-old does things to a person. Anyway here's some insight to why Italy the way he is. Hope ya like! (P.s I think I finally figured out where this plot bunny spawned from! The song In Italia by Fabri Fibra! hehehe...)

Transulations:

Fratello – Brother

Nonno – Gandpa

Completare – Complete

Arrivederci – Good bye

Italia del nord – North Italy