Chapter 9: Plans

„Sam?"

Castiel knew someone was in his flat the moment he opened the door. He couldn´t even tell how...since Sam had come into his life, he had developed a few skills...senses...or maybe just a good deal of paranoia.

„I´m here, Cas."

He saw the dark silhouette against the night sky. Cas closed the door, but didn´t turn on the light. Instead, he went over to the window in the dark, and leant his head against Sam´s broad back. The long day seemed to weigh on him all of a sudden...he took in Sam´s scent, listened to his soft breathing. When he wrapped his arms around the slim waist, he felt Sam lean against him. Cas closed his eyes. Maybe this is enough, he thought. Maybe I shouldn´t trust what I felt inside the conference room today...maybe, it is hubris to ask for... more as I already have. Let the fire get close to your heart, and it can easily burn you...

„Did you see him?"

Cas sighed. Oh, yes. It´s difficult not to see your brother, Sam...not when he seems to have put a magic spell on me...

„I saw him. I even – I spoke to him."

„You did?" Sam turned in Cas´ arms. He held Castiel at length, and stared into his face in the darkness. „And?"

Cas heard the suppressed emotion in Sam´s voice, the excitement, the fear.

Of course, he could tell Sam about how Dean had guided the negotiations exactly where Yakuza wanted them. How he had shown interest in Castiel, how this would be in favor of their plans...how he looked like ... some ancient god...

But Cas knew what it was Sam was really asking.

Sam´s eyes were only a faint reflection in the dark. Cas thought of Dean´s eyes. So cool...cold, even. And then the seconds when they weren´t.

„I think we can still save him", he said quietly.

He heard, and felt, the sigh go through Sam´s body, shaky, revealing a relief that only showed how much Sam had feared the answer. He pulled Cas close, hugged him, and they stood like that for a minute...then Cas started to feel restless. Pictures of Dean ghosted through his mind, lips, cheekbones, his hands, their controlled movements. The way he looked when he bowed to the people in the room – humble, and yet so full of power. Eyes...eyes...

His fingers were in Sam´s hair the next moment, pulling his head down rather forcefully. He pressed his lips on Sam´s, hard, bit his lower lip, sucked it in. Sam hesitated for an instant...then his hands grabbed for Cas´ head, and with a swift move, he turned them both and pressed Cas against the window. Cool glass...hot, shaky hands, burning lips, teeth scratching and biting and ...hurting. He heard Sam´s deep moan when he bit his throat, hard...it would leave a mark, a distinct one, and another, Cas felt like he had to...leave something behind, to see traces of himself on Sam, evidence that this was something that had happened for real...Sam had pulled off Cas´ coat, his jacket, his hands were under his shirt already, searching, grabbing, and Cas shoved his own hands under the other man´s belt, impatiently, there was no time, he needed this now, NOW, he wasn´t sure why it was so important, something real, someone real, a body he could – no, not love, take, and let himself be taken by, no spell but that of seductive skin, and muscle, and scent, now, he needed it now, the eyes, they were in his head, green eyes, they wanted more, more, maybe too much...he pulled down Sam´s trousers, grabbed his ass, and pressed his groin against him, moved, rubbed, he heard him moan, then Sam took over again, they turned, a violent dance, on the bed, both of them, struggling with their trousers, stomping, shaking them off. Sam was on top, grabbing Cas´ hands tight, pressing him into the matrass, he moved his hips, Cas felt his already hard cock slide along Sam´s, hard too, he arched his back against the friction, so good, good, but he needed more, the eyes were still there, asking, begging, and wanting, so cold, and then not cool any more, burning, they were burning, he was burning, Sam´s skin was fire on his, and yes, it was good, it burned away what he feared, Sam was panting over him, searing hot skin, burning away his fear, and then Sam let go of his hands, finally, and grabbed his legs, shoved them apart, yes, Cas spread them wide, take me, take me now, mark me, make this real, burn the fear to ashes, he felt Sam´s cock at his hole, and he moaned, desperate, needy, „Now, Sam, now..please, now...Sam!" Pain, pain filled him, there was no preparation, and good, it was good, he wanted the pain, needed it, it wiped the fear away, the doubt...he arched, muscles taught, whole body tense, a bow drawn and ready, and now Sam started to thrust, finally, finally, and Cas moved his hips against him, violent jolts, against the pain, until it was bearable, and there was only ... pleasure, pain, pleasure, pain, hard thrusts, harder, deeper, no eyes, only this, skin and muscle and sweat, their moving bodies, moving, moving, moving, Cas had his legs wrapped around Sam now, deeper, he needed more, he felt Sam´s body jerk already, shake and tremble with the force of his thrusts, and then Sam grabbed his legs, pressed his knees down on the matrass, above his shoulders, Cas could hardly breathe, but yes, yes, more, this deep, more, Sam jerked and pushed and thrust into him, without mercy, without hesitation, on, and on, and on – and then the world exploded, eyes and ears and mouth and whole body, just white blinding light and deafening sound.

Sam fell off Cas´ folded body, panting so hard it sounded painful. Cas was shaking, he straightened his legs, stiff and clumsy, trembling. They lay like that, staring at the dark ceiling, barely touching, gasping for air, panting, then breathing. The scent of sweat and bodies and sex was so heavy, Cas felt it like something physical on his skin...he closed his eyes, and listened to Sam, felt his warm skin where their arms touched, smelled his scent. Still felt him inside, his gorgeous cock riding him, spreading him, touching the one point again and again, the hot, searing point inside Cas...

And Cas knew, he was sure all of a sudden, that he would never feel him like that again.

„And Edogawa was willing to take you in? Just like that?"

Sam huffed. „Just like that? I saved his life."

„True...and you proved to be loyal, smart, ruthless, and ambitious...I get what he sees in you." Cas half smiled.

Sam huffed again, and rubbed his eyes. „Yeah...I should feel honored..." He sounded subdued.

„He´s your ticket to Dean, and right to Yakuza´s center, Sam. Your Trojan Horse. In fact, you couldn´t have found a better mentor. Edogawa seems to be one of the men competing for a step up in hierarchy. He´ll need someone loyal."

Sam nodded. He sat on the bed, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands. Cas leant against the wall, legs crossed.

„You think..." Sam hesitated. „You think we have a chance? A realistic chance to get Dean out and...make them pay?" Something´s gotten to him, Cas thought. He´s different. Heck, I´m different.

„Sam? What´s wrong?"

Sam sighed, and shook his head; he slid back on the bed until he sat at Cas´ side. He picked at a thread on his trousers, looking much younger all of a sudden.

„This girl...the girl I told you about? Kiyoshi?"

Cas looked over at him. „Yes? The one you saved although she held a gun to your back?"

Sam smiled. „Yeah...she did that."

„What about her?"

„She...I don´t know. She is...special. Unusual. Different. Dammit, I dont know. She´s just – she´s ...good. You know? Clean..."

„Innocent?"

„Yes...but not only in...you know. I dunno, but her – her soul...she´s... pure."

Cas watched Sam carefully. The tall man, killer for hire, bit his lower lip. Face full of...doubt. Remorse. Confusion. How can we get through this totally crazy plan if we are all so...confused?, Cas asked himself. Because that was what he himself felt, and what he´d seen in Dean´s eyes, and in Sam´s: confusion.

Sam looked up, and met Cas´ eyes. „When I´m with her, it´s like – like she´s purifying me. On one hand, compared to her, I feel dirty and...doomed, but...she has a light to her that seems to fill me, too, and pushes the darkness back." He shook his head again, and shoved his hand through his hair. „I know it sounds crazy...but I want to be someone else with her."

„No...it doesn´t. Sound crazy, I mean."

Sam looked at him surprised. Cas smiled faintly.

„Whatever she needs you to be, you want to be", he said, voice rough.

„Yes!", Sam answered, frowning, and again, pensively, „yes..."

Green eyes, Cas thought. Whatever they asked me to be...whatever Dean needs from me.

I want to be the answer.