Disclaimer: I don't own atla or lok.
WARNING: fairly dark chapter. If you are uneasy about blood and self harm, I don't suggest this chapter at all.
It had been awhile since she had cried. The last time she could remember was when Suyin had been born. Toph cried for both her children, being what her life surrounded itself around. Lin and Su were her girls, they admired her and Toph couldn't believe that the two were all hers.
At the moment, however, the chief of police was in a panic. Her heart beat against her chest hard at the thought of Lin and Su seeing her in this state. Toph knew she was a mess and she was slowly losing her strong walls. Her hand pressed harder with the wet cloth until she was rubbing hard against the skin on her face. No matter how hard she had tried, the sticky substance was still there. The metallic scent was strong, making her retch and gag. The tears only helped spread the bodily fluid down her face and neck, sliding into her chest.
Toph grabbed at the metal plates of her uniform and bent them across the room. She didn't care at the crash she heard moments later. She didn't care about the dents probably on her metal uniform. The only thing she was concerned about was ridding her of the substance and that included the dark stains on the metal. The red liquid had dried, feeling rough against the usually smooth polished metal plates. Toph couldn't stand the texture.
The pink tinted cloth she was using ran through her hair. The chief of police grabbed the headband holding her badge and let her hair run down. The black strands stuck together thanks to the same substance. She didn't know how it had gotten all over her. But it did. And the stench was burned in her memory, reminding her of her ultimate failure. It angered her. She wasn't worthy of the badge and it lay crumpled on the ground for a reason.
Her feet carried her body into a frenzied pace. Her current break down was happening in her very own living room, the girls out thank the spirits. She wasn't supposed to be home, but taking the advice of her officers, she complied and left work early. Why was she taking orders from the lower ranks? Toph's police force wasn't just a place that she could tell random people what to do (it was just a perk). No, the police force was almost like a second family to her. As much as she made it seem like she didn't care, she knew every officer's name and made it a priority to learn those of the new recruits. So when her officers told her to go home this afternoon, it wasn't because they were being disobedient. Toph's family at the police force was very concerned.
The chief of police felt like she couldn't get any air in. She knew she was freaking out, but her breathing would not listen to her. It was short and struggled. It was only when she heard his voice did she take a deep breath, not for the better either.
"Toph!"
She really couldn't get any air now. Her eyes darted, widening and blinking quickly. Can't. Can't. Can't.
The earthbender ran for the bathroom, smashing into the wall and pushing off with her hand. She rounded the corner and ran faster.
Outside, Aang knocked on the door to the Bei Fong estate. He told himself to be patient and not worry right away. He was in a council meeting when an officer had barged in with a message letting them know that Chief Bei Fong would not be attending the monthly meeting. Sokka had asked at once for the reason.
She was sent home early.
The chairman of the council and avatar sprung up from their chairs. Who sent her home early? She was the chief of police! She is the one that sends people home! After the entire incident, Aang had felt bad at the way both he and his brother in law had bombarded the officer with questions.
Then, before he could realize it, Aang began fighting with Sokka. They argued on who should go check up on her, not even minding their formalities had flown out the window in front of the city council. In the end, the avatar had won and left on his bison for his long time friend.
Why they couldn't both go? Aang's sixth sense told him it was a bad idea to overwhelm the chief of police.
"Toph! Are you alright? Are you sick or something?"
Still no answer.
The avatar wasn't one fore breaking and entering, especially into a home that Toph had built for her family, but these were dire times, he convinced himself. With the minimal metalbending he knew, the lock clicked and his hand grabbed at the door knob at once.
Toph flinched at the sound of the door opening. It swung with good force, making a sound when it clashed into the earthy wall. She stood in her shower and turned it on, hoping the rush of cold water would finally calm her.
Aang called out once more. "Um. We heard you were sent home? Just wanted to make sure everything was-"
She let her head fall against the wall cursing her stupidity.
The avatar's eyes darkened in fright at the sight of Toph's uniform. It wasn't supposed to be dark red. Blood red.
His feet carried him hesitantly towards the metal plates. The chest plate was smeered with the dried blood. Aang felt the bile rising in his throat.
His gray eyes quickly moved on and found crumpled gold colored metal attached to cloth. Her badge. Something was wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.
He finally panicked when he was met with a blood stained hand print on the walls of his friend's home.
"Toph? Toph! Where are you?"
Even with the water running, the earthbender's feet picked up Aang's frantic vibrations. It matched her uneven breathing pattern.
Aang stopped running around and that was when his ears picked up on the pitter patter of water. It sounded like a shower, on down the hall. He proceeded with caution.
Toph just counted his steps. Her eyes were closed and she desperately spat out the metallic taste entering her mouth as the water cleaned her.
The blood stained door knob only confirmed his suspicions.
"Toph? That...you?"
Her head came down again and again against the wall. She really wished he was just a hallucination. Her mind wasn't right at the moment and she hoped she was going crazy. It was better than actually facing him. She flinched at the sound of the doorknob jiggling.
"Toph? Are you alright? Did something happen? Are you hurt?"
Oh did something happen alright. Toph would never be able to forget today.
Aang was growing frustrated. "Toph! Answer me now. Toph?"
Her mind was swarming with the nightmare that had formed hours ago. They had inquired about the serial killer and had found out he was quick on his feet. He literally crawled like some sick insect. It was no surprise that Toph had found herself out of her element when the two finally faced each other. It was a hard fought battle and she had found herself with a few lacerations and lucky slices with the dagger he had in his hand. Toph was so lost by his speed, she had allowed him to trip her and make her fall backwards. The serial killer was up and crawling all over the room.
He was there.
"Toph!"
And then there.
"I'm going to unlock this door."
And then climbing up the wall.
"Last chance, Toph."
And then he left her line of sight. The chief of police only assumed he was airborne. The snarl he gave out had actually frightened her into throwing an earth spike into the general area above her.
Toph practically puked at the feeling of earth piercing through a human body.
Everything was still after that. She was frozen. Her body finally reacted when the first drops of blood hit her face.
The chief of police shrieked. More blood dripped down, getting into her hair and dribbling down her neck. She screamed at the top of her lungs.
Back in the present, the sound of the door opening had forced a similar reaction.
Toph screamed loudly before bending the door shut to the bathroom. The door had moved so quickly that Aang was hit right in the nose and he fell back against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. When he reached up, his hand came back visible with red. The avatar tried his best to hold in the gag. He had seen enough blood for a lifetime.
Before he could talk, her voice echoed from behind the door.
"I'm alright...Aang."
He felt a bad feeling run up his spine. "Toph? That you? I'm..I'm sorry for barging in on you."
The last thing she was worrying about was her modesty. Even if, she had forgotten to remove her clothes. They were being soaked under the running water.
"It's alright. I-I was just surprised."
The avatar had heard her stutter loud and clear. His worry shot up into the sky. "Oh, I apologize. Are you sure you're fine? Your reaction-"
Toph spat out water. "I had a tough day."
"Oh?" Aang pressed himself against the door. "Well...I kind of figured. They said you were sent home early? How...how is that-"
"I wasn't feeling well. The officers...noticed."
"If that's the case, I can take you to Katara-"
"No, no. That's okay. I can go myself." Toph tried her best to relax.
"Well I'm already here, so-"
"Aang, I can handle it."
He didn't respond back immediately. He just listened to the shower water as he wondered about her strange behavior. First, she was using his actual name. Second, she had interrupted him four times. Third, she didn't sound as confident as she usually was.
The avatar grabbed hold of the doorknob. Toph stiffened. "Hey, can I come in? I saw your uniform out there. I saw the...well...I know something is up."
She sucked in the sob retching at her throat. Toph knew very well that she couldn't let Aang of all people know about what had happened. It would ruin him. It would ruin them. She could just feel the sorrow overtaking her. Aang trusted his friends. He trusted them to make the right decisions and knew they were very good people overall.
Aang, the sweet tender nomad, could not find out she had killed someone today.
"Like I said...rough day."
His voice deepened. "Why is there so much...blood? Toph, don't push me away if you are dying in there. Don't you dare."
"I'm not dying. I just got...a bad beating. I'll let Katara look over me. Just leave me alone."
Aang felt offended. "I am not going to leave you in there suffering." He wiggled the door knob roughly, not wanting to force himself in again but rather by her permission. "Let me in. I'm taking you to Katara myself."
"No!" She realized how desperate she sounded. Toph cupped some water and washed her face before speaking again. "You can't come in."
"Toph, don't do this right now. Don't be stubborn right now. Not now."
"I'm not!" She thought quickly. "I'm not dressed. I'll come out."
He seemed unconvinced. "No games. Are you telling the truth?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am. I'll go with you...to Katara. Let me finish up, alright?"
Toph Bei Fong asking for assurance? Aang wanted to barge in there. But there was something off. The avatar didn't want to make things worse. He hoped that the scene left out in the living room would not match the state of his friend when she finally opened the door. "O...Okay. I'll be waiting right here."
"Give me a few."
"Got it, Toph."
The earthbender stood in the water once again in panic. She searched her brain for any type of plan. Telling Aang was definitely off the table and she frantically tried to find anything else. She didn't care how stupid it was. It was going to be better than the latter.
And being the clever woman she was, Toph couldn't help but pull her hands to her face and hit the wall again. She silenced her sobs. She had to do it. To convince him and also gain his pity. Would she have reconsidered if she were perfectly normal? Of course. But today had pushed her passed her comfort zone and limit. Nothing could get worse.
With all the strength she could muster, Toph bent a small unnoticeable piece of the wall towards her. It was slick and sharp. Without even hesitating, she got it over with.
Toph pressed her forehead hard against the wall as the knife-like stone tried plunging further into her abdomen in the opposite direction.
She coughed several times. Just as quickly, the stone piece was ripped away and thrown down to the shower floor. The fresh blood washed down the drain.
Her hands were at her abdomen and she once again fought the urge to crumble and vomit. It was sticky and smelled, just like before, but this time it was coming from her own body. A hiss or sigh left her lips.
The chief of police's mind ran a blank.
Was that...relief?
She pushed herself towards the door, holding her breath.
Where...was the pain?
Her shaking hand placed itself on the doorknob. Her other was too busy holding her wound.
Why am I...numb?
The moment the door opened, she fell into his arms. Aang's yells of worry and panic turned softer and softer until she heard nothing at all. Her body was moving out of her command, but her eyes remained in a half opened blank gaze. Her pale jade eyes stayed glazed over like a gem.
I feel...okay.
Very dark. Sorry about that. Being a police officer, Toph must have killed at least one person on the job. Yet she still considers Aang's feelings. Not only is she dealing with this herself, she is also trying to protect Aang's innocence that is still within him. I don't know if she is s good friend or stupid. Let me know in a review. Thanks for reading.