Here we go, trying to get inside Athos' head during the fire.
Musketeers not mine, just borrowing.
When he opens the doors the only solid thought in his mind is that he wants to forget. He has felt her since they first came back to this cursed place; he sees her in every room as his memories flood to the surface and her voice resounds in his head. He feels the heart he has long closed off as it calls out her name again and again.
Anne
He stumbles through the rooms, already unsteady on his feet. It does not take him long to find the crates of wine still stacked neatly where they were left. He grasps the nearest crate and carries it to the dining room, his fingers fumbling with the cork. He pours it into the glass and gulps it down, not tasting it, not caring. It becomes a cycle; refill, drink, refill, drink. He cannot drink fast enough and almost chokes.
Please just let me forget
He stares at the portraits, not needing to raise the torn canvas to see the face he remembers so well.
Anne
His own portrait stares back at him, the picture of nobility and it fills him with rage. He hurls the bottle and the wine runs down the picture like blood.
Thomas' blood, her blood.
He picks up another bottle, wondering if this time he can drink himself to death.
He wakes to the sharp smell of smoke and hauls himself to his feet, the sting in the back of his throat telling him that he is not dreaming and not yet dead. He coughs as he stumbles through the rooms, moving towards where the smoke is thickest.
Fire
He stares at the burning room, his mind too clouded with wine for him to comprehend what is happening. It is then that he hears footsteps and turns. There, glaring at him is the last person he ever expected to see again.
Anne
"You're dead." Not his most eloquent statement he will admit but at the moment it is all he is capable of.
Everything about her is as he remembers; she is beautiful, proud and strong. Yet she is also different; cold, her eyes are cruel and her tone mocking.
He fights his mind, forcing it to comprehend what is happening and what she tells him. When she pulls the ribbon from her throat, showing the mark that his justice left it is almost too much.
I turned her into this
He runs at her, not certain what he would do if he caught her. He barely feels the impact as he hits the wall but he certainly feels it when she swings the torch; catching him across the cheek with the burning brand. He sprawls on the floor, only just managing to find the energy to roll over and face her.
If I am to die here it will not be a knife in the back of the neck
She crouches next to him, pressing a small blade to his throat. He doesn't fight her; he can't. It is easier instead to tilt his head back and welcome the blade.
End it, please
He thinks it, tries to goad her into it with his words. But she doesn't; she stops, her eyes reflecting the flames as she gazes at the house they once shared.
He can't help himself as he moves towards her, pressing his face against her. Through the smoke he can smell her, the familiar jasmine scent flooding his mind.
I still love her, God help me
He feels her hand running through his hair and remembers her once loving touch; how he has missed her love.
Love that was a lie
She pushes him away from her and he waits for the blade, waiting for the cold metal. Instead she fumbles with the locket, gazing at the flower she so carefully pressed. She almost looks as though she might cry.
"Athos." He hears d'Artagnan's voice and watches as her head darts up. She looks at him once more and runs. He lays in the smoke as his house burns around him, not sure if he is unabe to move or unwilling.
The Gascon pulls him from the flames and in the moments that follow he pours out his heart to the boy. Everything he has kept hidden that no one else knows but wine and grief loosen his tongue.
"What do I do now?" he collapses back onto the grass as the boy watches.
She is alive and she has just tried to kill him, wanting to add his blood to his brothers and that of countless others.
But, God forgive me, a part of me still loves her
Not sure how well I did there, his head is tricksy to get inside. Let me know what you thought xx