Disclaimer: I don't own atla or lok.
WARNING: Self-harm
"Um, Avatar Aang-"
"Shhhhhh!"
He put an ear an inch away from the metal door. Below him, a ball of air kept him hovered above the ground. Aang continued to ignore the secretary trying to get him to leave. Hearing the phone conversation on the other side of the door was more important.
"You guys really don't have to do anything. I just want to go home."
Aang rolled his eyes.
"What's so great about turning forty three? I'm just closer to dying."
She would be pessimistic.
"Sokka-"
The avatar snickered.
"Katara, come on-"
Checkmate.
"Fine. I'll stop by the island later, alright? Here I am trying to make other people happy on my damn birthday."
The sound of the phone being hung up indicated to him it was the right time to get his feet grounded once more. The air dissipated and the moment he hit the metal floors of the station, Aang was shifted all the way out of the hallway and into the front of the police office. Every officer, client, and secretary quirked an eyebrow at him. All he could do was give them that same goofy smile he used as a kid.
From down the hallway, everyone's ears twitched at the noise of steps. Before they could figure out who it was (seeing that it wasn't that hard to deduce) the officers and secretaries got back to work while the clients tried to look distracted. Aang continued to stay standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
He stared at his Sifu as she came into proper light. She had her hands on her hips and the most annoyed expression on her face.
Typical Toph on the outside.
"Hi, Toph."
She began walking towards him and he was surprised when the earthbender hooked her arm on his. She tugged him towards the entrance. "Let's take a walk."
"I know I tell you to get out of your office, but we can talk in there if you want." Toph just pulled him harder eliciting a yell from the avatar. "Alright then!"
The two walked out of the police station and as if they were reading each other's minds, Aang and Toph both pushed each other away, more roughly than usual.
"Get out of here." Toph put her hands on her hips and scowled.
The avatar wasn't going to be intimidated. "Trust me, I don't want to be here either, but Katara, Sokka, and Suki made me come and get you. "
"Don't fucking tell me that this is for my birthday. I told them I would stop by the island later."
The avatar turned away. "Yeah, they didn't believe you. So they sent me to fetch you whether you like it or not. I'm more scared of Katara right now than you."
This banter had continued for months. After Toph had recovered from her stab wound three months ago, Aang had been trying to ask her what had happened. The earthbender refused to talk and avoided Aang for the rest of the month. When month two began, the avatar had tried his best to look in on police missions that had occurred around the same time. Toph was much cleverer and hid the files, earning him a great big slap on the face. After that fiasco, it was now month three and the two were officially out of each other's lives. Other than today, this was the first time the two friends had seen each other in weeks.
"Just come to the island, alright?"
"Do I have to remind you that I'm working right now? I was in the middle of something."
The avatar stood his ground. "Really? Because from what I have heard, you have been cooped up in your office. And I know you aren't doing paperwork."
Toph's defense was strong, causing Aang to flinch back slightly. "And how do you know that? I have been very productive in my office. That's all you need to know."
"Why are you avoiding missions, Toph?"
The chief of police just scowled harder. "I have other teams that can take care of missions. It's why I'm the boss."
"You can't convince me that you of all people don't want to take on missions. Even the smallest missions, such as catching a bread thief gives you joy. I swear, sometimes you just like hurting people for fun-"
"No I do not!"
"Come on-"
"I DO NOT HURT PEOPLE FOR FUCKING FUN, AANG."
The avatar stood looking at his friend with almost the same amount of worry that he had when she had fell into his arms three months ago. Toph had always yelled when she was frustrated or annoyed. Everyone else was used to it. This time should have been no different, yet there was something off about her features. The scowl was there, all the same, maybe even more intense than before. But her eyes, although unseeing, gave away her emotion. There was sadness. His eyes diverted to her hands. She was rubbing them harshly.
His feet carried him slowly towards her. "I-I'm sorry I angered you. It's just-"
"Shut up. Just shut the hell up." Toph turned back towards the police station and began walking back. Aang wouldn't let her get away.
"Toph, what is happening between us? Why won't you talk to me? Or anyone?"
"There is nothing to talk about. Leave me alone, already." Her feet were stomping into the ground now making clear imprints.
Aang decided to get her to the island some other way.
"You still need to come to the island, Toph."
A large groan echoed into the air. "For the last time. I'm. Not. Going. Especially if you are going to be there."
He put his arms under his robes. After calming himself, Aang told her bluntly. "Su won't stop crying."
"What?" The chief of police flipped around in a second. Aang finally understood when Katara would tell him that motherly instincts just happen. Even with a hardcore mother such as Toph, the avatar could still tell in the way her eyebrows furrowed together and the frown that crossed her face that his earthbending sifu loved her children very much. "What do you mean?"
"She's been crying all day. Lin tried calming her down but Su wouldn't let up. I think she's tired herself out and is asleep. Lin is watching over her."
Toph had already ran past him before he could finish talking.
Katara didn't even know who past her at the door. All she saw was her husband standing.
"Don't worry. She did that to me too."
The waterbender ushered Aang inside. "Did you tell her?"
The avatar sighed. "Yes. I think I should have just started with that instead of trying to convince her."
Down the hallway, the married couple could hear two Bei Fongs getting into an argument.
"Lin, move."
The thirteen year old stayed silent and guarded the door.
Toph was growing tired of the entire day. "I'm not in the mood for this right now. Move!"
Katara and Aang approached them both. The waterbender spoke softly. "Let her sleep, Toph. She's had a rough day."
The chief of police gritted her teeth. She listened as no one moved which only frustrated her even further. She finally exclaimed quietly in defeat. "God, damnit!"
Lin made her move and grabbed her mother's wrist. No one else noticed the way Toph winced at the contact. Together, both Bei Fongs made their way to the kitchen with the married couple on their tail. Katara hoped that they weren't going to fight thus destroying the kitchen, her pride and joy. Aang didn't know if he should intervene. Lin surprised them all and slammed her mother's arm on the kitchen counter. Toph cried out.
"Ouch! What the hell, Lin?"
The thirteen year old bent the metal arm brace off without care and tossed it to the other side of the room. Next, she grabbed the sleeve of the dark green shirt that lie underneath her armor and tugged it up. Toph paled along with Aang and Katara. Lin's face contorted in anger at the truth.
Toph's wrist presented a number of long scars, all making its way from one side to another. One was fresh, located right under the palm of her hand.
"Su was telling the truth." Lin finally let go of her mother's hand, however, the earthbender's arm didn't move. Her thirteen year old daughter crossed her arms and refused to look at her mother. "She saw that this morning, when you let her help you get ready. Did you even know there were scars? She thought you were dying because the cuts weren't healed. Su thought Aunt Katara couldn't make you better, when really, you didn't want to get better yourself. Whatever is going on with you, you better fix it. It's the least you can do for Suyin."
Aang spoke up. "That's enough, Lin."
"No! She's an idiot."
This time Katara is the one that silenced Lin. "Go take care of Su. We'll deal with your mother."
Lin walked away leaving her Aunt and Uncle with the only amount of support she can give. "You better."
Somehow, at the end of the day, Toph and Aang were left alone by the fire.
She couldn't figure it out. After Lin had walked out of the room, Katara and Aang had led her to one of the back rooms and once there, the master waterbender immediately healed the scars on her arm. Katara had said something about her being lucky that the scars weren't caused to deep tissue and could disappear easily, but she had tuned out after that. Her one foot that stayed on the floor as Katara healed her on the bed focused on Aang who stood leaning against the door frame with no words.
After that, Sokka and Suki had arrived with bottles of sake and wine. It was still her birthday after all. The kids were sent to bed (with no help from Toph who was watched over by Sokka). Afterwards, the bottles were opened and the five of them began to drink on the beach in front of a bonfire. For the night, Katara filled the spaces of silence where Toph would usually butt in correcting her brother's recounting of war stories. Suki followed along, forced to stay sober for the growing baby in her womb. That didn't mean she didn't have any less fight than Katara.
Aang sat opposite to the three, him and Katara sandwiching the chief of police between them. He smiled at the memorable banter of his brother and sister in law and wife, but remained quiet as his main focus had been swirling her drink around in her cup with her head down so low, Aang thought the tips of her bangs would catch on fire.
Near midnight, Suki decided that Sokka had had enough and would be hitting the hay. The married couple made their way into the house guided by a slightly tipsy Katara. Aang wished her goodnight.
That's how they ended up here.
"So...how are you doing?"
That's what he was going to say to her? No how could you? No you're a complete idiot? No I'm disappointed in you? Toph just took a sip of her sake. "I...had better days."
"You sure did." She fought the urge to roll her eyes. Aang continued. "You've fought in a war, became an earthbending master at twelve, invented metalbending, helped me build this city, was appointed the chief of police, had two beautiful, beautiful girls. Those were definitely better days."
"Hm."
The avatar sipped at his wine and slouched. "Such wonderful days and more to come. But you decide that maybe waiting isn't worth it."
There it was.
"Aang-"
"Save it, Toph. I don't know what's going on with you, especially since you have refused to tell me a single thing, but this has gone too far."
The chief of police pressed her hands to her eyes and let her head lean on them as her arms were held up by her knees. She was so tired. So very tired. "I know, I know. I don't know why I did it. It just felt...good."
A push came to her shoulder and Toph was forced to face Aang. He had a tight grip on her shoulders. "Don't ever say that again."
"Then what do you want? Another lie?" The familiar fight in her gave the avatar the slightest bit of hope. "Telling you excuses isn't going to do any good. I don't even think I can keep it up anymore. I tried hiding the files and charges, I swore my team to secrecy, I went back to work of all things. But I still. Felt. Bad."
"For what, Toph? What do you feel bad for?"
Her head soon started leaning down and she hid herself in her arms face down on the log they were currently sitting on. Aang didn't know what to do. This was a new type of animal.
Sniffling echoed from within her hiding place. "I'm so sorry, Aang. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, Lin. Suyin, baby girl, I'm so sorry..."
He laid a hand on the top left of her back. "Toph, hey. What's gotten into you?"
"Aang, I didn't mean to do it. I didn't know he was right there. But I didn't have to spear him. I didn't mean to do it. I would have never even thought about killing him."
"Toph." He was scared now. "What are you talking about?"
She shot up at once and pushed him in the chest. Aang stumbled backwards, shocked by the action. When he looked back up, Toph was biting at her wrist bandages. Were those...tears? Her words were muffled, but he could still make them out. "Can't you see? This helps...it doesn't even amount to what I've done...what kind of person am I..."
"Stop that!" The avatar pushed forwards and grabbed both her arms and put them to her sides. She struggled, very desperate to go through with her plan. He would not under any circumstances let that happen ever again. "Toph. Just tell me. Relax. Just tell me what happened."
"I can't relax, damnit! How can I when I fucking killed a man!"
Aang's hands stayed strong securing her hands. His mind was a million light years away though. As taught to him by the monks, all life was sacred. Even those who strayed away from their rightful paths had lives that were precious. And Aang had lived by that as an avatar. He found a way to not kill Ozai. He tried reasoning with Zuko after making that absurd promise right after the war ended. It was a golden rule. So to hear that his very own friend had committed such a sin, he initially felt the disappointment. His friends were good people, he knew that with confidence. Such powerful beings, yet all of them have not committed something so...heinous.
Then, the gears in his hand began to turn once more and he brought the other side of the argument into play. From the snippets Toph had provided, the incident seemed like an accident. I didn't mean to... I didn't mean...I didn't want to... Further deduction allowed him to assume that her now deceased opponent was obviously someone they were about to arrest if he was getting filed and charged. Or was that Toph? No, she would have been processed immediately. In conclusion, this guy was a criminal, someone who had strayed far from his path. His life was still sacred.
He sighed contently. The task of explaining was a difficult one.
"Toph." She continued to quiver in his grasp, but she wasn't sobbing. Just horribly mad at herself. "Toph...it's okay."
It's...okay?
He saw her repeat his words in her head through the expression on her face. "That man...he lived the life he chose. Just listen to me, alright?"'
No sign of a response.
"Alright?"
The nod he either imagined or had actually seen was all the confirmation he needed.
"It was wrong...the way his life ended. No one should be responsible for his death. What you did...it was still wrong." Aang paused giving her time to think about his slow words. After several seconds, he went on. "But you did it not within the shadow of revenge, hatred, or pure lunacy. So I guess what I'm trying to say really is...I'm not holding this against you."
Toph's breath came out shaky. Aang just listened to her breath for awhile, making sure she wouldn't fall into a panic attack. The fire had died down, so the avatar lit it brightly once more. The sudden heat caused Toph to flinch away.
The fire calmed down and the light danced on their features.
"I thought you were going to hate me. Wanting nothing to do with me."
He smiled sadly. "Never that, Toph. No matter how tough you try to make yourself, you have a spirituality in you that I admire. It told me that you were never capable of doing such a thing on purpose. I hope you know that as well."
"I..." She lost the confidence to speak suddenly and it came out quiet, very unusual for her. "I thought I did. But this whole thing told me that I was capable of very...terrible things. Suddenly, I don't want to be the greatest earthbender in the world."
Aang grabbed her arm and began to re-wrap the bandages around her wrist. "Is that why you didn't want to go on missions? Scared you'll do it again?"
"Yes."
He patted the spot where he ended the bandage and laid her hand back down into her lap. "The thing is though, Toph. That is what makes you a great bender. You know how powerful you are and can be, but you never cross that line. When you did, it was on accident. May his spirit rest in peace...but let's face it, karma was going to get to him soon enough. I'm just sorry it was you that had to deliver it to him. The universe can be very unpredictable."
Toph put her legs on one side of the log and the two friends were sitting side by side once again. "I'm really sorry, though, Aang."
"For?"
"Killing him."
She was surprised at the punch that came to her arm. It was weird being on the other side of things. "Wrong. You apologized for the wrong thing."
He grabbed the two bottles of wine and sake. Deciding, he handed her the brown bottle while he kept the green bottle of sake in his right hand. Toph's face had fallen once more.
"I'm sorry for scaring you guys like that. The first time was probably the worst since I almost died."
Aang eyed her. "From a small slit?"
She remained silent. The avatar put two and two together quicker than he thought.
"The stab wound. That was you, wasn't it."
Toph nodded. "That wasn't my blood on the uniform. I couldn't tell you, not yet anyways."
"Toph!"
Her eyes teared up again, waiting for some kind of onslaught of words. Aang breathed deeply using technique in order to not make Toph revert back to her ways. He sighed loudly on purpose to let her hear the slight disappointment.
"I would promise not to do it again, but I'm not sure if I can."
"Then don't promise that. Promise to try. And promise to make it up to the girls. Big time."
"Deal. And not even a question."
The moon was half full, giving them white light while the fire heated them and provided the dancing orange. They sat in silence, feeling as if they had talked for a lifetime. Toph and Aang thought about that. They were going to be friends right into their next lives. No matter what, they were going to find each other to comfort like this no matter who they became.
The avatar cut the silence once more with a brighter topic. "So really, what were you doing in your office for months?"
"Oh!" Toph brightened up, a sight that Aang missed dearly. "Check this out."
His eyes followed as her fingers etched something into the sand. When she moved away, he was beyond amazed.
In messy characters, he read the name in the sand: Twinkle Toes.
"You...you can write!"
She smirked. "And read! I figured out that I can draw into slabs of stone. That's why I didn't really want to talk in my office. It's a mess in there."
"You are a genius." He began writing into the sand next to her feet.
"I know." The smugness was nice to hear.
Aang sat back up and grabbed his bottle of alcohol. Toph had hers already. They raised their bottles and clinked them together, taking the last of the liquid.
The chief of police smiled at the message at her feet.
Happy Birthday
This chapter is way long. There you guys go! Second part to the last chapter. Some people said I couldn't leave it hanging like that, so there you go. Toph, for the tough bad ass that she is, thought she had gotten too powerful, capable of killing. But Aang came down and eased her fears. Toph is a powerful bender because she doesn't use her abilities for that purpose. In fact, that goes for all the gaang. Good on them! Thanks for reading! Leave a review if you'd like!