Disclaimer: I don't own lok or atla

Warning: Minor self harm.

They don't know how long they had been sitting in the kitchen. They had just gotten done with work and the chief of police and avatar decided to make their way to the Beifong household and have a drink. At least that's what they had intended.

They hadn't even opened Toph's liquor cabinet.

The two had been sitting at the table in silence.

Between the two, Aang was feeling much better than Toph. "You haven't said a word."

He received a grunt in response.

"Fine. I'll talk about my issues." He repositioned himself and cracked a few of his joints before continuing. "Bumi is officially deployed. Probably won't be able to see him for months. Maybe even a year."

She just lifted her feet off the ground and put them on the table like usual.

"Kya decided to move down to the south pole. I heard she found a young man down there. Katara assures me that he's kind to her, but you know how I am."

Toph breathed in deeply.

"Tenzin has officially became the representative for the air nation on the council. He's opted to live in his own compound on the island which honestly I don't understand. Nonetheless, Katara and I see him less and less. I think Lin-"

"She lives with him. Until she finds an apartment in the city. I know." The chief of police finally responded.

Aang nodded. "Yup. So in a nutshell, my nest is empty. Alright. You go."

Toph inhaled and exhaled. "Ditto. I guess."

"Don't make me push you. I can just give you a few drinks and you'll start talking."

"I'm not in the mood."

"You'd think for such a brilliant woman, you would have learned by now that you are going to vent to me sooner or later. So save us the time and couple yuans on liquor and talk, Toph. I know what happened "

She didn't even seem mad. "Sokka wasn't supposed to tell you. Hush hush and all."

"He has a mouth on him." The avatar persisted in prodding his childhood master. "What made you decide to send Suyin to your parents?"

"If anyone could discipline her, it would be them."

"I'd rethink that considering your upbringing."

Toph sighed. "It was intended to be a good idea. But she couldn't stay here. Not only was there the arrest on her head, Lin and Su were...not good."

"They've had fights before."

"Nothing like this." The chief of police stroked her thighs. "This whole situation challenged Lin's belief in justice and in me. I let her down. Should I have charged Su as an accomplice? Hell yeah I should have. But I couldn't do it. Not to my baby girl."

Aang fought the urge to tease her pet names. "And what of Su?"

"If she doesn't hate me either, I would call that a miracle. I practically banished her from her home. What kind of sick mother does that to her child? One that apparently is trying to defend her reputation more than making sure her family wasn't torn to shreds. Congrats to me. The pieces are impossible to put back together and I am stuck in an empty home."

"At least you don't have them begging for your attention anymore."

"Shit, Aang that's not funny." Toph growled at him.

He didn't even flinch. "Sorry, you usually respond to that kind of comfort."

"It's fine." Her hand came up to her hair and she threw her badge across the room. Her ebony hair flowed down, even more hair covering her face. "I was more angry at the fact that I didn't find that the least bit comedic."

"And I don't blame you. If it makes you feel better, I think you did the right thing."

Her head lifted up slightly. "Really? I practically created a conspiracy."

The avatar scooted his chair closer to his friend. Toph didn't mind the hand that came to her knee. "In our world, some things can't turn out perfect. With your position, it was better to keep the citizens calm by keeping up your public image. You've never lied about your qualifications as a leader to this city before and at this point, anything that disrupts that will cause chaos. Do I approve of such deceit? Of course not. But for the sake of world peace and harmony, it's a necessary evil. People need to trust you. Your personal problems are not the concern of the citizens no matter how hard they try to convince you otherwise. You are a leader. And a good one at that."

"Okay. That makes me feel better about lying to the city, but that doesn't help with my family issues."

"I wasn't done." Aang patted her leg and mimicked her position. Feet on the table, slightly leaning back on the back legs of the chair. "Lin and Suyin are sisters. Half or any other kind doesn't matter. They are blood. Over the years, I've come to realize that rivaling each other was how your girls got stronger. They pushed each other to become strong benders, develop strong personalities, and overall become brave women. Lin is going to blow through the police force now that her worries for Su are taken off her shoulders. She has nothing to keep her mind completely focused on her life goals. As for Su, she needs this break from the city. She has always been a character and it reminds me of you. You needed to see the world, to become the successful woman you are today. Su needs to do the same. In the future, she'll settle down after seeing what she needs to in this world. I promise you."

She didn't show any signs of understanding. "Is it bad that I don't believe you at this point in time?"

"No. But you will. All three of you will. Everything is still fresh, you know?"

The chief of police snapped her finger an pointed at the cabinet behind her. "Fetch us some sake, avatar."

"Shouldn't you be a good host and get it?"

"My house and I can boss around anyone I like. Now go."

Aang shook his head and retrieved the bottle of sake and two small glasses. There was a slight pause in his movements. He thought carefully. When did drinking become such a regular thing for a monk?

The avatar let the thought slide. He'd come back to it later. He set the glass down and poured a fair amount of sake in each. He handed Toph her glass and the two clinked glasses. "Cheers."

The alcohol burned more than it should.

Toph laughed as Aang coughed violently. "Years of drinking with me and you still can't handle your alcohol."

"What is this stuff?" He held up the bottle. "You've never carried this. Where did you get it?"

"I don't know. Ask Sokka. He's the one that brought it."

"You guys drank?"

"Yeah." The chief of police could practically feel the pout on Aang's face. "I don't just drink with you, Twinkle Toes."

The avatar slumped. All the magic of this moment completely washed away from his system. "I thought this was our thing."

"Are you jealous?" She smirked.

He became defensive at once. "I am not!"

"No, I understand. I know I'm a pretty great person."

The avatar didn't try to fight back in fear of Toph winning the battle with cocky remarks. "How is Sokka? I haven't talked to him in awhile. Ever since he and Suki divorced, he hasn't been his usual self."

"He puts on a brave face. He's moving back down to the south pole."

"And when was my own brother in law going to tell Katara and I this set of news?"

The chief of police snickered. "Katara already knows. We were out to tea when Ex-Chairman Snoozles came bursting through the door. Your sister already gave him one hell of a lecture let me tell you that."

Aang quirked an eyebrow. "Oh really? And when did you talk to him?"

"When I dragged him here afterwards. I asked him what was he thinking, what about his son, and was he ever gonna comeback. I was yelling so loud that Su..."

Toph couldn't finish the sentence.

The avatar poured more sake into her cup. The two sat there again in silence. Aang wasn't an idiot. No matter how much Toph hid it, the love for her girls was always going to be obvious. The way she teased them as kids, the rigorous training, and the way she changed overall due to motherhood. Lin and Suyin transformed their mother. Toph was still Toph, but these past few years, the avatar had noticed how the Beifong sisters tore down their mother's emotionless walls. Toph was worried. Concerned. Protective. Caring. Loving. She loved them so much.

"I can't even walk around my own house, you know that?"

Aang just listened.

"Every step, I feel emptiness. I see emptiness. I don't feel their heartbeats anymore. Its distinct from everyone else's heart. Lin's is strong and steady. Suyin's jumps to different rates even when she is just standing. I see their two different personalities in the rhythm of their hearts. But now I don't feel them at all."

The avatar kept his eyes focused on a yellow scarf lying over the back of the couch in the other room. Suyin loved shopping.

"Lin is still there of course. But when I talk to her, her heart plays something different. It beats fast and loud. That's anxiety. Nervousness. She can't stand being in the same room as me. I can't feel Su at all."

"Toph-"

"But I love them. I really do." She sniffled. "No matter how much I fucked them up, I still love those girls so much. I should have been there more. Maybe Suyin would still be here. Maybe Lin wouldn't be trying so hard and enjoying life. Maybe they would get along."

Aang interupted her. "They love you, Toph. They are upset that they disappointed you."

"Really? It didn't seem like it in my office." Her tone was sarcastic.

"They are."

"They hate me, Aang. They hate me with all their being because I am a horrid mother to them. Scratch that. I wasn't even a mother. They just believed they lived in this house and were trained to live up to some ridiculous reputation. I didn't help them grow. I didn't help them when one of them skinned their knees. I didn't even tell them I loved them! They don't know!"

"Toph! Shut up for once!"

"What can you possibly say that is going to make me feel better? Huh? Your kids grew up fine. You can't tell me what kind of parent I am because you don't know."

Aang slammed his glass down on the table. "You aren't the only bad parent out there-"

Toph slid her glass across the table letting it fall over and smash against the floor. "Oh, well so much for making my failures nothing but blunt."

"I have my own down falls as a father too, Toph. I gave all my attention to one child when I had two others. Two others that tried their best to prove they could be my children and I couldn't and still can't convince them I was proud of them up to this day. Do you know how much that hurts? They won't believe me. So don't complain about being a bad parent like you are the only one being punished."

He thought for sure that the chief of police would deflate seeing that she didn't completely lack sympathy, but instead her anger was fueled. "Yes, that is unfortunate, but you know what? Bumi, Kya, and Tenzin don't want to kill each other. They still act like siblings. If Lin could, she would divorce this family. I'm sure Suyin isn't far behind that thought."

The avatar stood up. "And this is exactly why you're making me mad right now. No matter how much I tell you, you won't believe what I say. I don't need more of that."

"Well, excuse me for being such a burden." Toph got up and curtsied. "Please tell me how to run my life. Please."

Aang was yelling now. "Tell me what you want since you obviously don't want me doing that!"

"I want my girls back!"

"There! Was that so hard?!"

"Yes! Yes it was!"

"Why are you still yelling at me?!"

"Because you're pissing me off! You yelled at me first!"

The avatar faltered slightly. He brought his voice down maintaining his authority. "Why do you always have to beat yourself into the ground, Toph? Why do you take all the pressure?"

"Pressure and pain. It's all I've know growing up."

He evaded looking into her blind eyes. "What about growing up with us? Did we put pressure on you? Pain?"

"No." Finally, her rage was dying. "These thirty or forty years have been the best."

"Then what is it?" Aang sat back down in his chair. After a few minutes, Toph followed his action. "You know that this whole situation wasn't your fault. You can't blame it on parenting because the one thing you did right was teach them the right morals."

"Thank the spirits I did that at least." She awkwardly rubbed her hands, like she was nervous. Anxious. "...I just miss them."

Aang grabbed her and engulfed her in an embrace. "I know. And that's good. It means you loved them a lot. I know you're gonna blame yourself for a long time, but you'll get through this alright. You'll get them back."

She grabbed him tightly, shocking him. "I really hope so, Aang."

He cherished the moment, not because an emotional Toph was a rare sight, but because he didn't think he had heard her sound more like a child. Since they were kids, Toph had always been impressively mature when she needed to be. She was very disciplined in regards to her earth bending, practicing even up to now. Toph was blunt and wasn't afraid to fight for her beliefs. In regards as a leader, she knew the calls to make and Aang hadn't heard of a single decision she has made towards her officers that has been wrong. Her decision she made for the girls, as a chief, was on point. As a parent, that was a bit more complicated. Nonetheless, Aang couldn't call a black or white opinion about the choice as a parent. It was a gray area that tested a mother. Now, he could only keep Toph's own hope alive that everything will work out in time. That much he believed in.

He was the first to let go. "Alright. Now that we finally released all that, how about another drink?"

Toph smirked. "You asking for a drink? Some monk you are."

"You created this. It's your fault."

"At least you kept me company. That's all I needed."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment no matter what you say."

She chuckled. "Alright then. As for the drink, I think I'm gonna pass."

Aang raised an eyebrow. "Really now?"

"I'm just gonna turn in. I've had a long day." She got up and began escorting her friend to the door. "I'm sure Madame Fussy Britches is wondering where you are by now."

The avatar straightened his posture. "Oh, you're right. I didn't really tell her I was coming here after work."

"Best get your ass back home."

They walked past the broken glass on the floor and Aang couldn't help but comment on it. "Oh, I should clean that up."

Toph pushed him to keep walking. "I got it, I got it. It was my fault anyways."

"Are you sure?" The two were at the door now.

She opened it and leaned against the side of the door. "Yeah, don't worry about it."

"You gonna be alright here by yourself? You could certainly spend the night at the island."

"Lin is there and I think she is still cooling off, so no thanks."

Aang decided to not fight her about it seeing that he didn't want a brawl between the mother and daughter to erupt. It was for the best. "Call if you need anything then. Goodnight, Toph."

"Goodnight, Twinkle Toes. And thanks."

"Of course."

With that, Toph closed the door to the house. When she turned back, her heart ached at the feeling of emptiness. She despised the feeling, but she pushed herself to keep moving. To keep living.

Her legs carried her to the kitchen and one of her toes brushed up against a piece of glass. Her memory of the mess came back at once. Toph got down on her knees and picked up a shard.

She stayed like that. Her skin felt the sharp edges of the glass pressing into her hand.

Harder and harder, closer and closer to release.

Release from the pressure and pain.

Her mind stopped her and the shard dropped back to the floor, clattering amongst the others. She swallowed hard at the single stream of warm liquid that ran down her index finger.

Toph got up and calmly walked to the phone. She dialed the number and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Katara. I got a favor to ask."

"What is it Toph?"

"When Aang gets to the island, tell him to come back to the house."

"Was that where he was? I was wondering where he got off to. Did he forget something?"

Toph squeezed her cut hand into a fist, blood squeezing through the cracks and crevices of her hand.

"No. I-I can't be alone tonight."

Sorry for the self harm. Toph loves her girls and I'm sure after the whole fiasco, she just wanted them back. Of course, her way of dealing with such a simple emotion is by blaming herself, so Aang has to knock some sense into her and let her express the want and need of her children. Thanks for reading!