A/N Don't panic if I don't update for a while... I just need to find motivation. I'm already thiking of ditching and starting anoter one. Actually I already have one I'm writing, called "Switched" It's about Tobias and Tris switching places.

Chapter 15

Denise stumbles in.

"Hey Four are you-" She starts to say before she sees us. "Oh! I didn't realize that you were busy! Okay, I'm going to leave, and-"

"It's not what it looks like." Tobias objected. We are still embracing each other, though, so his testimony did not convince Denise.

"Sure, sure." She laughed. "What then? Because it looks like you guys are together, if you know what I mean." She smirks

"Um, no." I say. Oh, how I wish it were true! "We're not."

"What I walked in on suggests otherwise." Denise insists.

"Well, we're not." Tobias murmurs against my hair.

"Oh?" She says sarcastically. "What are you then? Best friends?" She laughs like the idea is hilarious and far from the truth.

"Get out." I say.

"You can't tell me to get out. It's not your apartment." She retorts. She is right. Only Tobias can tell her to leave. And he does.

"Well it's my apartment, so get out." He says.

"Okay." She agrees, sensing the tension and emotion that out conversation brought on. "Tris, can you talk to me when you're done?"

"Um, this may take a while..." I hedge. "So maybe." She looks I skeptical. "Um okay. Just meet me for dinner. Okay?"

I relent. "Okay."

"See you guys later." She wiggles her eyebrows and leaves the room.

"Okay, so where were we?" I muse. "I don't know. I just really missed you, Tobias! My God! It's been forever!" He laughs a little at my attempt to lighten the mood.

"It has. It's nice, to hear my real name again." Tobias says.

"It's nice to just see you again." I say.

"I know, same here." He agrees. "But there are things I need to know." He leads me over to his bed and gestures for me to sit. I do, and he sits next to me.

I know what I should tell him. Everything that Marcus has ever done or said to me. But honestly, there had just been so much, that I wouldn't be able to remember it all. My memories are fading already, which is good for me, but bad because Tobias needs to know these things.

"Well, I learned to put my walls up pretty quickly, and I tried hard to forget. So I will probably not be able to tell you everything." I say. He nods and twists his fingers together nervously.

"It's really not that bad." I say. "I mean, a year is nothing."

"When did he start?" Tobias asks.

"About a week after you transferred." I mutter.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Beatrice."

"Really, it's not your fault, Tobias." I say. "Let's see. Do you remember what he used to do to you?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"So, yeah. Basically all of that."

Oh wow." His eyebrows raise. "Wait! What else was there? You were saying..." Is eyebrows furrow a little.

"Uh, I- I don't really remember it, thank God, but-" I pause and peek up at his face. I already told him, and it's clear in his expression.

"Oh God. No, no, no. Oh God." He's shaking his head back and forth in denial, but I know that he's remembering when I said Marcus raping me was essentially the reason I left a year early.

His eyes fill with tears, and he blinks them back. "I am so sorry. All those things you endured... My fault." And Tobias starts to cry. He thinks it's his fault. My heart aches.

"Toby," I murmur. "It is most definitely not your fault."

"It is." He sobs. "I- I could have- could have-"

"Shhh." I murmur, pressing my finger to his lips. "We're alright now, Tobias. We are going to be just fine." He nods and buries his face in my shoulder. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and rub soothing circles on his back.

After a few minutes, I release him. I would love to stay here and talk with him all day, but I should go find Denise.

"Toby, sweetie, I should go find Denise." I say. "The longer I'm gone, the more explaining I'll have to do. Oh, what should I tell her?"

Tobias rubs his neck and looks at me.

"Well, I'm not sure." He says. "Do what you want."

"They're your secrets." I say. "I'd have to have your go ahead."

"Go ahead. Zeke knows, so..." He shrugs.

"Oh, he does? Okay." I reply.

"Well, no. He only knows that you and I were friends." He says. But I've been meaning to tell him."

"Oh." I reply. "Do you want to stay here? Or do you want to come with me?"

"Um, I'm not sure..." Tobias says.

At that moment, there was a knock at his door. Tobias glances to the door, then at me.

"It could be Eric." He whispers.

"He comes here a lot?" I ask. Why would Eric come to Four's apartment? He sees the look on my face, and winks.

"Not often, but more than I'd like."

"Why?"

"You know? I don't know." He laughs a little. The knock comes again.

"Just a minute!" Tobias calls. Then he points to the bathroom and whispers"Go."

I tiptoe to the bathroom and shut the door. Then I lean against the door, and listen.

I hear the door open and close.

"What do you want?" Tobias asks, irritated.

"Your initiate was in the control room earlier today." I hear Eric say. "Like an hour ago. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"No, I don't." Tobias replies.

"You don't keep an eye out for your initiates at all, do you?" Eric snaps.

"Oh, so you want me to babysit them?" Tobias retorts, sarcastically. "I've got better things to do than find out what they're doing twenty-four seven."

"That doesn't excuse the Stiff." Eric literally growls.

"No." Tobias agrees. "But I'm sure that Tris wasn't doing anything bad."

"Well, I'll have to find out what she was doing." Eric replies. "I'll go find her." I need to get out of here.

"Fine." Tobias says. "Good luck with that."

"See you around Four."

I hear the door open and close. I open the bathroom door a crack and peek out.

"You can come out now, Tris." Tobias laughs. I walk out of the bathroom and over to him.

"Your bathroom is amazingly small." I say.

"Tell me about it." He says, grimacing. Claustrophobia.

"Well, I should probably go. I have Denise waiting for me and Eric looking for mr.

Tobias sighs. "See you at dinner. Try and steer clear of Eric, okay?"

"Okay." I say. He pulls me into a hug for a brief moment, and I press my face into his chest. He releases me and I walk out of his apartment and close the door quietly behind me.

I walk toward the pit to find Denise. I don't know where she would be, so I just wander everywhere and ask around.

Eventually, I make my way to the chasm. I study it for a few moments. Then I notice what look like stairs, leading down to the bottom of the chasm.

Curiosity gets the better of me, and I descend.

When I reach the bottom, I see a figure sitting by the rocks. It's Denise. I step carefully over the rocks toward her, and sit down.

"Hey." I say.

"She turns to me. "Hey, Tris!" She hugs me, wiggles her eyebrows at me and squeals, "So girl, give me details!"

"I'm sorry?" I say. "What details?"

"What were you and Four doing before I came?"

"Talking." I reply.

She snorts."Yeah, sure." She says.

"I'm serious." I retort.

"Then what were you talking about?"

"Personal things."

"Ooooo! What kind of personal things?" She coos.

I can feel my face heat up as a blush consumes me.

"You know, the whole point of something being personal is that not everyone knows about it." I say.

"Aww come on, you can trust me," she says. "Probably more so than you should trust Four. Anyhow, I could just get Zeke to ask him. You know that, right?"

I flush a deeper red. I turn to her in anger.

"What do you mean I should trust you more than Four?" I inquire.

"Oh you know, guys can't be trusted most of the time. Also, he is an instructor."

Is she joking? Trust isn't based on genders. That being said, I can see where she comes from. Wasn't I determined to keep my problems with Marcus away from Four for that same reason?

"Just because he's a guy-"

"No, not just because he's a guy." She interrupts.

"It's a give and take." I object. "He talked to me as well."

"Really?" Denise is now distracted and I can see she is about to ask me a personal question about him.

"What's his name?" She asks excitedly.

"Four." I retort, not missing a beat. Like I'm telling her. She might tell everyone. Maybe not, but better safe than sorry.

"No, his real name."

"Technically, he gave me permission to tell you, but I've kept secrets forever and-"

"Tris." She says. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

"Promise?"

"Yes." I sigh. Why is it hard for me to say it? Because despite his permission, I'll be giving away a secret.

"Tobias." I state simply, like it's not surprising at all. She stares wide-eyed at me for a second.

"Tobias?" She says. "Tobias who?" I grimace. Of course she wants to know his full name. Wouldn't I?

"Eaton." I whisper inaudibly.

"What?" She says. "I could not hear what you said." I look up at her. "Just tell me." She says. "I'll go get Zeke... ZEKE!"

"Shh!" I say. "Fine! It's... It's Tobias Eaton." She just stares.

"Tobias Eaton?" She whispers. "Wait! Like Marcus Eaton's son?"

I hear footsteps on the stairs leading to the bottom of the chasm. It's Zeke.

"'Sup?" He says. Then he sees me. "Oh hey Tris." His voice is softer than before. Jeez. Why did he have to see me in shock?

"Hi." I say.

"Hey Zeke, does the name 'Tobias Eaton' mean anything to you?" Denise asks. I glare at her.

"No," Zeke says carefully. "Should it?"

"No." I say. "Shut up Denise." I add before she can say anything.

"Wait." Zeke says. "Who's Tobias Eaton?"

"A friend." I say quickly.

"A friend?" Denise says. "Some friend. Isn't he your-"

"Shut up." I say. Now." She was about to say instructor. I know it.

"What?" She says innocently.

"You think this is all some big joke, but it's not." I say. "This isn't funny, something to laugh at. It's serious."

"What?" Zeke asks. "What happened with this Tobias kid?"

"Oh he's not a kid." Denise chuckles.

"Shut it." I say. "He had a rough childhood, that's all."

"What kind of rough childhood?" Zeke inquires, studying me. "I know that look. He was abused, wasn't he?" I stare at him. How did he know?

"How do you know this?" I demand.

"I don't know. Just how protective and guarded about him, you seem." He replies. "I might add that you probably like him as more than just a friend." Denise snorts.

"You don't say!" She says. I'm about to punch her.

"Don't deny it. You're head over heels." She retorts.

"Wait, I thought you were into Four." Zeke says.

I punch Denise in the arm hard.

"Ow!" She shouts, grabbing her arm.

"I told you to shut up!" I screech. "God, you think this is a huge joke! You laugh like it's just an amusing game, but it's not!"

"She likes Four because he is Tobias, apparently." She adds.

"What the hell, Denise!" I shriek. "You told me you'd keep his secret! Can I even trust you at all?!"

"Sorry," she says inaudibly. She seems troubled by my outburst. I guess I have a temper, and I am extremely protective of Tobias.

"Wow, hold on." Zeke says. "Four is Tobias Eaton?" I don't answer.

"He was abused?" He whispered. "Oh Lord. Why?" He moves closer to me. "Why?!" He's upset. "Why would someone do that to him?"

"You know, I had the same reaction." I say. "I'm not going to tell you. Not because he told me not to, but because he should."

"Wait!" He interrupts. "He's Tobias Eaton, you mean Marcus Eaton's son?" I nod a little. "Oh my." He says.

"Yeah. It's pretty intense."

"I'm gonna kill him. I'm going to kill him! He will die!"

I stand. "I'd love to help you with that, but we should probably go." I know we've spent a lot of time down there.

"Oh." Zeke says, coming back to his senses. "O-Kay."

"Let's go," Denise whispers. "We should find Four."

I don't respond. As we climb the stairs, I contemplate Denise and Zeke actually asking Four personal questions. He won't like it if he is still the Tobias I know.

We walk through the halls, Zeke and I leading the group. On our way to Tobias' apartment, Uriah, Zeke's brother, runs up to us.

"Zeke!" He starts to say something but then he sees his brother's face. "What's wrong?"

"It's- nothing." Zeke says. He probably knows that I would be upset if he told Uriah about Tobias.

"I can't tell you." He says when Uriah starts to protest.

"Oh, okay." Uriah says. "I guess I'll see you later."

He leaves and we continue to Tobias's apartment.

"Thanks for not telling him." I say to Zeke. He shrugs.

"I figured Four wouldn't like it if I told him." He replies.

We reach Four's apartment.

"You should go in first." Zeke says, unsure. I nod and step forward. I knock on the door louder than I meant to.

A few seconds later, the door opens to reveal Tobias. He straitens up from his slouch and looks at us. Zeke is practically gawking. I elbow him to get him to stop.

"Tris," Tobias says, his voice pained. "Did you tell them or something?"

"Yes." I say quietly. "I'm sorry.

A/N I'm kind of in a stump, right now. I'm not sure what to write. Who knew writing a story would be so hard? Anyways, if you want more, review. Hey, ideas on how to move along would be awesome. :D