Jeddie Shuffle

by angel1002

This is an IPod shuffle fic. See inside for a better summary

5. Letters From Home

I own none of the characters of October Road or the son "Letters From Home" by John Michael Montgomery

My dearest son, it's almost June

I hope this letter catches up with you

And finds you well

It's been dry

But they're calling for rain

Everything's the same old same

In Johnsonville

Your stubborn old daddy

Ain't said too much

But I'm sure you know

He sends his love

And she goes on…

In a letter from home

I hold it up and show my buddies

Like we ain't scared

And our boots ain't muddy

And they all laugh

Like there's something funny

'Bout the way I talk

When I say, Mamma sends her best y'all"

I fold it up and put it in my shirt

Pick up my gun and get back to work

And it keeps me drivin' on

Waitin' on letters from home

My dearest love, it's almost dawn

I've been lyin' here all night long

Wonderin' where you might be

I saw your Mamma

And I showed her the ring

Man on the television

Said something

So I couldn't sleep

I'm just missin' you

And this is me kissin' you

X's and O's in a letter from home

I hold it up and show my buddies

Like we ain't scared

And our boots ain't muddy

And they all laugh

'Cause she calls me honey,

But they take it hard

'Cause I don't read the good parts

I fold it up and put it in my shirt

Pick up my gun and get back to work

And it keeps me drivin' on

Waitin' on letters from home

Dear son, I know that I ain't written

I'm sittin' here tonight alone in the kitchen

It occurs to me

I might not have said it

So I'll say it now…

"Son, you make me proud"

I hold it up and show my buddies

Like we ain't scared

And our boots ain't muddy

But no one laughs

'Cause there ain't nothing funny when a soldier cries

And I just wipe my eyes

I fold it up and put it in my shirt

Pick up my gun and get back to work

And it keeps me drivin' on

Waitin' on letters from home

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Hi

Hey Eddie-

I ran into your mom today at the market and she suggested that I send you email as she was shoving your email address into my hand. As I'm sure that you are aware that your mom can be very convincing and somewhat scary so hence this email.

I hope that it's okay that I am sending you this email. I do consider you my friend and I hope you feel the same and that's the main reason I am sending you this email; friends support each other and I hope that this letter supports you.

I have never written a letter to a soldier before so I'm not really sure what to say. "Hope your having a great time. Take lots of pictures and bring home souvenirs" seems inappropriate since you are fighting a war in the desert so I guess I'll just start by saying Thank you. Thank you so much for risking your life to defend this wonderful country. It's because of brave men and women like you, that Americans have the freedom that so many of us take advantage of.

I suppose that I should let you get back to work. I miss hanging out with you at Sully's so please stay safe so you can come back home.

Janet

To: Janet Meadows

From: Eddie Latekka

Subject: Thanks

Janet! It was great to hear from you. Thank you so much for emailing me. Believe me, when I say I know how scary and convincing my mom can be. I'm really glad that she scared you into emailing me.

Thank you for your understanding of why I am a soldier. You are right. There are so many people that take advantage of living in The United States and the freedom that comes for granted but people like you Janet, people that understand that freedom isn't free, makes my job and the other soldiers that I serve with makes it worth it.

I do consider you a friend Janet and if you want I would love to continue these emails and maybe we can become better friends. Since you became my favorite bartender and like all bartenders you did a lot more listening to me talk then pouring my drinks and I felt a connection. I just wish I didn't ship out before we had a chance to explore a possible amazing friendship.

On that same note, I am sorry that I didn't think about giving you my email address before I left. I don't have an excuse. I just wasn't thinking.

I get lots of emails from my family and friends but they are just bullshit emails from my dad, sisters, brother and friends and sad, mushy, worried emails from my mom. I would really like someone that I can just talk to about my job. Can I do that with you? If not I understand and I still want emails from you.

My computer time is almost up so I need to go. Thanks again for your email. You have no idea how much it meant to me. Stay safe.

Eddie

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Friendship

Be safe? Really? You are fighting a war, surrounded by violence everyday, and the possibility that you could get hurt is overwhelming and you tell me to be safe? The desert air must be doing something crazy to your brain. You are the one who needs to be safe.

I would be honored to be the one that you talk to about your job. I've never fought in a war, hell I've never even been in a physical fight with anyone but my brother, I'm just a bartender Eddie so I have no advice to offer so what I can do is listen or read and encourage you and hopefully that will be enough.

You said that you would like to become better friends. I would like that as well so I'm going to start, let's call it a tradition. We are going to ask each other questions that we have to answer honestly. I'll start with this email and you must respond. Once you respond then it's your turn to ask me anything you want and I'll answer and then ask you another question. You get the picture right?

My question for you Mr. Latekka is, have you always wanted to be a solider, oh and you can't just answer with yes and no.

Looking forward to hearing from you and please my friend, stay safe.

To: Janet Meadows

From: Eddie Latekka

Subject: Bossy

Man! I never realized how bossy you could be! Lots of rules you have for getting to know each other but I'll play along, in a bit.

You have no idea how much it means to me that you are willing to just read about my job. Not many people would be willing to do that so thanks Janet and if it gets to be too much, please just tell me and I'll stop so if you don't mind I want to tell you a little about what I do and what it's like.

I mainly do a lot of patrolling. My unit goes from town to town, village to village, trying to keep people safe. It's hot as hell here. I thought that I experienced some hot summers at home but it's nothing. It's miserable and it doesn't help that I have so much gear to wear. I now think ninety degrees is cool. I never thought that I would say this but I am actually aching for a Knights Ridge winter. What the hell is wrong with me?

I can't understand why people here are killing their fellow citizens. It doesn't make any sense to me. I have seen so many people die and for what? So many innocent people have died for nothing. I have seen more people die then one man should. I'm probably going to have nightmares for years.

Why did I become a soldier? My great-grandfather, my grandfather, gramps, and my dad were all in the army. I grew up hearing stories about the army and I was constantly reminded of what an honor it would be to serve. I grew up knowing that I was going to serve in the army, that it was expected of me so to answer your question, I always knew that I was going to grow up to be a soldier and it's the best choice I ever made.

I almost didn't enlist. I was so infatuated with Rory, my high school girlfriend that I was ready to give up my dream to be with her. Dad convinced me that if Rory truly loved me, like I love her then she will wait for me. Two weeks into boot camp I found out how she really feels. She dumped me. Who the hell dumps someone who is in boot camp? I'm by no means still holding out for Rory. I heard she got married and her husband dumped her for his assistant who's a guy. Karma right!

My question – I remember how damn smart you were in high school and so my question is why is such a smart woman just a bartender? Please don't take it the wrong way because being a bartender is a great job but I always thought that you would aspire to something more.

Till next time-

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Brave

I AM NOT BOSSY! Just well organized.

I can't imagine seeing what you see everyday. Do you have any idea how brave you are? If not, let me tell you. You are the bravest man that I know. I'm not brave. I wish I had an ounce of your bravery. Stay brave my friend.

It's amazing to me that you knew, since you were a child that you were going to be a soldier. How many people can say that?

On the Rory Dunlap subject, I can't comment too much on her. I didn't know her well at all. In high school you and Rory the definition of the cool kids; the captain of the football team and the cheerleader, it doesn't get cooler than that. You were always nice to me. You were nice to everyone, whether they were cool or not. Rory on the other hand was not. She was mean to anyone that was not in her clique. I can't tell you how many times she made fun of me but that's in the past and I choose not to dwell on the past.

All I can say about you and Rory, and please don't take this the wrong way, but you were too good for her and it's probably better that she broke up with you. For what it's worth I believe that you only saw one side of her and the rest of us pions saw the real Rory but unfortunately, you saw who Rory really was when she broke up with you during booth camp! To repeat your question, what kind of person does that? My answer is someone who only thinks of him or herself.

I hope that I just didn't hurt you with my thoughts on Rory. I just wanted to be honest.

Now to answer your question, I went to college, The Duf actually, and I got a degree in marketing. I found a job and I hated it. I hated everything about it. Thinking it was just the job, I quit, found another job and hated it just as much. So it turns out I hate the field in which I got my college degree in so I went to work at Sully's and as it turns out I LOVE working at the bar. I have made so many friends – you- and for the first time in my life I feel that I found my niche. Besides the few drunk assess that don't think before they talk, everyone is really good to me. For the first time in my life I'm popular. I know how crazy that sounds, I am a grown woman who shouldn't care what anyone but my closest friends think of me, but it's every girl's dream to be popular, even if it is only at work.

My next question for you is silly – If you could be any superhero which one would you be?

Stay safe

To: Janet Meadows

From: Eddie Latekka

Subject: It's a bird

Without a doubt I would be Superman. Why would you ask would I choose to be Superman? Well that's easy. Superman has it all. He can fly. He is super strong and the only thing that can kill him is kryptonite which is practically non-existent. So oh yeah, Superman all the way.

I'm by no means hurt or angry about what you said about Rory. You spoke the truth and I appreciate it. At the time when Rory and I were together I saw her through rose-colored glasses. I think I knew what kind of person she was then but I chose to ignore it. She hated my friends. Nick, Owen, Phil and Ikey and I have been friends since we were kids. The five of us, we were and are so different and I think that's what makes us such good friends but it was those differences that Rory hated. Nicky, he was the smart one, like you, Owen, he was the most like me, simply because he played football but he was just a big goof, Phil, he was the computer nerd and Ikey, well he was Ikey. He was scruffy and into skateboards. None of them were cool enough in her eyes and it didn't matter that they were my best friends. I had to fight with her to eat lunch with them once a week. That should have been my clue but again I claim the rose-colored glasses defense.

I was heartbroken when she dumped me and I moped around, well as much as one who was in boot camp could mope, but finally I really started thinking about my relationship with Rory and I realized that it was very superficial relationship, one that couldn't have lasted in the real, grownup world and I'm glad that she dumped me. It's a lot easier to breakup with a boyfriend/girlfriend then it is to pay for a divorce attorney and I know that if we hadn't of broken up when we did I think I would have married her, cause I thought that I was in love and ultimately, it would have ended in divorce.

I want to apologize for how Rory treated you. If I hadn't been so damn infatuated with her, then hopefully I would have seen it and then stopped it. I may not have been the brightest crayon in the box but I would like to think that I would have done something about it For what it's worth, again, I'm sorry.

In your last email you said that I was brave. No offense Janet, but you are wrong. I am the farthest thing from brave. I'm scared shitless all of the time. There are some days that I want to stay hidden, not move from wherever we camped out for the night because I know, at least for the past six hours, that it's safe. I am terrified that one time, one of those bullets that are constantly flying past my head are one day going to hit my head. I terrified that one day, I'll be patrolling in my Humvee and it will drive over a roadside bomb and I'll be splattered all over the Afghan country. I'm scared of dying. I'm too young to die and yet I have chosen a career that death is a constant probability. What scares me the most is the thought of what my death would do to my mom. She supports my career, but I know that she lives in constant fear that she will lose me and I hate that I put that on her. It's because of me that she has to carry such a heavy burden.

It sucks that you paid so much money for a college degree that you don't use. Don't you wish there really was a magic 8 ball that we could use to help us plan our future? I'm not sure if this is right thing to say but I'm glad that you're marketing career didn't work out because if it did then you and I probably wouldn't be friends and I am beginning to treasure this friendship that we have formed. You have no idea what these emails that we have been sharing have come to mean to me. Thank you Janet for giving me a little bit of home everyday. Reading your emails makes me feel a little less scared.

This email's question for you is if you could have any job in the world what would it be and why?

I have a favor to ask you before I sign off. I have never told anyone, especially my mom, about how scared I sometimes am. As far as mom is concerned I am never scared and it's a vacation here. I know it's a charade, she knows that it's a charade but it's one that we are both willing to keep up so I'm asking you, not to share the stuff and my feelings about my job. It's just better that way. I don't think that you will blab to my mom but I just wanted to be sure.

Till next time

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Trust

If I could have any job in the world what would it be? I think it would be a doctor. Why? Probably for the same reason that most people become doctors. I want to help people. I would love to be able to say "Congratulations. You're going to live" but that is something that I will never do for two reasons. First reason, I am smart but I'm not smart enough to be a doctor. Secondly, no one could pay me enough money to put someone else's life in my hands. I don't have enough faith in myself for that.

Eddie, I want you to know that you can trust me with anything that you share with me in our emails. I consider what we discuss is personal and sacred not to be broadcasted for public use. Even though our correspondence has been through the computer, to me it's the same as if we were having a conversation face to face.

It's understandable that you are scared. You are in a very scary environment. I'm not a professional but I think that it's normal that you're scared. With the possibility that you may die at anytime I believe that being scared makes you more cautious and thus keeps you safe.

I know that it makes no sense but I'm scared too. I have found myself paying more attention to the news lately and when I hear that something bad happens over there, where you are, I get scared that you may be involved and hurt and when I see an email from you I find that I can breathe easier. You have become such a good friend to me that I won't be able to breathe normally until you come home.

Next question for you – what is your favorite movie of all time?

Stay safe

Four months and continuous letters later

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Moving

I am seriously considering moving. You asked me in your last email if I have ever met "the one", well my answer is that I haven't and the reason for that is because I live in a ridiculously small town where all the good men are either married or gay. The rest of the men who remain are such losers. After last night's date I am thinking that I need to move if I ever want to find "the one" because he sure the hell isn't in The Ridge.

I'm not sure if you remember Ben Smithson or not but that's who I had the pleasure (NOT) of going out with last night. He didn't even ask me where I wanted to go and he took me to a Sushi restaurant. I HATE sushi. So while he stuffed his face I sat there and sipped my water while he was oblivious to how miserable I was but that's not even the best part. The best part came when the bill arrived and he suddenly realized that he forgot his wallet so I had to pay for this loser's dinner. Really? When he dropped me back off at the bar, because it was too much out of his way to drive to my place, he didn't even offer to run home and grabbing his wallet so he could pay me back and he seemed shocked when I told him that I didn't want to see him again. Really? What an ass. So I decided that the best thing for me would be to move. What do you think?

Well fall has definitely left only to be replaced by snow. We are already up three inches and two more are expected. I hate winter. I would send you a box of snow because I know how much you miss it but by the time it got to you, it would be just a big box of water but it's the thought that counts right? I attached a picture of all this snow so maybe you won't be too homesick.

I'm not sure if this is appropriate or not or even if this is something that you want to hear but I miss you. Sure, we talked and hung out at Sully's but I feel so much closer to you since we started emailing each other and I just wish that you were here so we could talk in person. How much longer is your tour?

I'm ending this with my question – If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

Stay safe-

To: Janet Meadows

From: Eddie Latekka

Subject: Moving

I have been pondering your question and my honest answer is there is nowhere I would rather live then The Ridge. It's a safe place to raise a family, people always have your back and for the most part you always know what is what. Sure the small town can be annoying, everybody knowing your business but it's the small town that I love so there is no where else I would rather the in Knights Ridge.

Thanks Janet, for telling me that you miss me. It's great to hear and to be missed. If I was being totally honest with myself then I would have to say that I miss you too. These emails have really been great. They have changed me, for the better.

My tour was supposed to be up in three weeks but it was just extended indefinitely so who knows how much longer I will be here.

So you want to move huh? Well I hope you don't because it would suck for me to come home and not find you there. I get why you want to move because of the availability of eligible men so how far would you be willing to move to find "the one?" Would you be willing to move to Afghanistan for him, for me because I think that I may be your "the one."

If I was at home I would ask you out. Lately, these emails have come to mean so much to me. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I see one and Janet I can't stop thinking about you which can be a problem in my job. I know that I am putting you in a very awkward position since I am thousands of miles away and I have no idea when I'll be home, even if I will make it home but as crazy as this sounds, I want to be with you. The thought of you dating a man is driving me crazy and crazy is never good for a soldier.

Right now, I wish that I had a magic eight ball that I would have shaken years ago. Before we started emailing I signed up to serve for another five years. If I only would have shaken the ball before then I would have known…Oh hell, Janet I don't know what to say. I don't know where to go from here. I want a relationship with you and that's the only thing that I really know for sure right now. So I guess what I'm getting at is…Will you consider not going out with anyone else till I get home? Would you consider being my girl?

I get that it's not fair to ask this of you since I'm fighting a war a thousands of miles away from home but I needed to tell you. If a relationship is something that you don't want to pursue I totally get that. I just hope that I haven't lost my dear friend but before you make any decision please consider and remember the fact that I still have five more years to serve and I could be stationed anywhere in the United States or the world. I would hate to start something only to have you realize that me not being there with you is too much. I don't want to be the one who breaks your heart.

Till next time

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Yes

So many things went through my mind when I read your email; shock, surprise, confusion and happiness. God, I wish you were here so we could have this conversation in person. Over the past few months I noticed that my feelings started to change as well. I can honestly say that I have never been asked out by a man who was thousands of miles away.

I'm going to say yes. Yes I won't date anyone else. Yes I will be your girl. I will be honest with you, when I was out with Ben I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to be out with you instead. Maybe beginning this relationship, like this, with you thousands of miles apart will make it stronger. I have to idea how it's going to work but I'm willing to see how it works and where it goes if you are.

One more thing I want you to know. I am beyond flattered that you asked me out. Granted, it's not the typical way a girl gets asked out, and we won't have our first official date for who knows how long but at this moment, I couldn't be happier. Thank you for that Eddie. It's been a very long time since someone has made me feel this way.

I realize that being involved with a soldier means not much time together but you should know, once I commit to something, I commit wholeheartedly. If things work out between us then I will accept and learn to live with your absences and support you with all that I have.

Stay safe-

To: Janet Meadows

From: Eddie Latekka

Subject: So happy

I had so many butterflies in my stomach until I got your response and now, now that you have said yes, I can't stop smiling because I am so damned happy. In fact the guys in my unit are making fun of me, saying that I got it bad and they're right. I've got it bad.

You're right, this whole situation between us is very far from normal but I say that it makes us unique. How many people can say that they have their first date happened months after they started dating? No one that I know of. I'm going to have months to plan our first date so trust me when I say it's going to AMAZING!

You shouldn't be flattered that I want a relationship with you. You are an amazing woman Janet Meadows and any guy (me) is lucky to be with you. In fact I am lucky as hell that no one has snatched you up before now. Damn, I wish I was home right now. You said that you have never been happier. You have no idea how much that means to me and it may be too soon to say this but I'm saying it. I want to continue to make you happy. Will you let me do that?

Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention in my last email- because I had other, more important things on my mind – thank you for the picture of The Ridge's first snow fall. I always loved the first snowfall of the year. Seeing that snow, me and the guys would have been on Lennox hill with tubes, tubing down the hill. God, it was so much fun. I remember once, the five of us went down on the same tube, piled one on top of each other and only Owen made it to the bottom of the hill on the tube because he was on the bottom. The rest of us fell off before we made it to the bottom. Man, when I flew off the pile, it hurt like hell when I landed but it was so much fun. For the rest of the night we kept trying to get all of us to the bottom but it never worked but we had a blast trying. Have you ever been sled riding down Lennox hill? We will have to go when I get home, providing that it's winter of course. God Janet, I have so many plans for us. I can't wait to get home.

Can you please send me a picture of you? I don't have one and I would to show off my girl to the guys in my unit. There actually may be some guys who think that I'm just bullshitting them and I don't have a girl and if I was completely honest with myself, I want to make them jealous.

I hope you have a great day.

Till nest time-

Three months and continuous letters later – Christmas Day

Janet was sitting at the table with her parents, brother, and his wife enjoying Christmas dinner when her cell phone rang. Janet pulled it out and glanced at the caller ID, which came up unavailable. She got up from the table. "Janet, its Christmas and we're having dinner. Tell me you're not going to answer that." Her mom said.

"I'll just be a minute." Janet was curious about who was calling her. "Hello?" At first all she heard was static. "Hello?"

"Janet?"

"Hello?"

"Janet can you hear me?"

"Oh my God. Eddie is that you?" Janet sunk to the coach in shock.

"Yeah Janet it's me."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm great actually. I just wanted to call and wish you a Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas sweetheart." Tears slipped from her eyes when she heard the tenderness in his voice.

"Merry Christmas Eddie."

"How's your Christmas?"

"Great now. How are you calling me?"

"Holiday. Special gift to us. We were allowed to make one phone call stateside."

"And you picked me?"

"Of course I picked you. Hearing your voice was my Christmas present to myself and speaking of Christmas presents, thank you for mine."

"You got the cookies?"

"Every last one of them and they were delicious."

"I'm sorry that all I sent you was cookies but I just didn't know what else to send you. I had so many ideas but none seemed appropriate to send you. I talked to your mom and she told me that you loved Christmas cookies, that Christmas cookies are your favorite part of Christmas so I thought that I would bake and send you your favorite part of Christmas."

"Those cookies were exactly what I wanted. You baked them all yourself?"

"I do. I love baking and cooking."

"They were the best cookies I have ever eaten and believe me. I'm not the only one who said that. Most of the guys in my unit agree and just between us your cookies are so much better then my mom's. Hers are always crispy on the ends and mushy in the middle. Yours were perfect."

"I'm glad you enjoyed them."

"I didn't get nearly enough."

"I'll make you some more."

"I would like that. Look if you can I would like for you to stop at my parent's house. My mom has a gift for you from me."

"Huh?"

"Of course I didn't buy it myself cause I'm in Afghanistan but I did pick it out and send the money to my parents to buy it so it is from me."

"Eddie you didn't have to."

"I did. It's our first Christmas together, well not technically but you no what I mean."

"Thank you so much."

"I hope that you'll like it."

"It's from you so I know that I'll love it."

"Look I only a minute or so left and there is something that I need to tell you that I don't want to say it in an email."

"What is it?" Eddie took a deep breath to calm him down. He was so nervous.

"Janet, I love you. I have fallen in love with you and I just needed you to know. I love you and I wanted you to hear it from me instead of reading it."

"Eddie…I…"

"Its okay. You don't have to say it back."

"Eddie I love you too."

"You do?"

"Why do you sound surprised?"

"I don't know. I just am. You love me too?"

"Yes. I do."

"Wow." He breathed and Janet giggled.

"Sweetheart, I have to go. My time is up. Merry Christmas. I hope it was a good Christmas for you."

"It's one that I will never forget. Please, stay safe and hurry home."

"I will I love you."

"I love you too." Suddenly the call ended and Janet sat on the couch, listening to the silence with tears of happiness falling down her cheeks. She eventually picked up her gift from Eddie and later that night when she was home alone she opened it. Eddie had picked out a white gold heart pendant with two purple hearts, one dark and one light, in the center. He attached a short note.

When you wear this heart be reminded that you have mine. Merry Christmas.

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Thank you

Merry Christmas. Between your phone call and my beautiful gift this has been the best Christmas ever. I just love the necklace Eddie, especially the purple hearts in the middle. Purple is my favorite color but for some reason I think that you knew that. It amazes me, that you are in the middle of fighting a war, but you found time to pick me out the best Christmas gift ever. You are the perfect boyfriend and I am the luckiest gal in The Ridge to be your girl. Thank you, Eddie. Thank you so much.

Stay safe – I love you.

Two months and continuous letters later

To: Janet Meadows

From: Eddie Latekka

Subject: Wedding

Hey sweetheart. So how was the wedding? Nicky sent me a quick email from his phone when they were waiting to catch their plane and he said that the wedding was great and that's all got so I would like some details. I wish that I could have been there, to stand up for my best friend. He and Hannah offered to postpone it until I got home but they've already postponed it twice for me and since I have no idea when the hell I'll be home so I told them not to postpone it. Most of me is glad that they didn't postpone it but there is a small part of me that wished they wouldn't have listened to me cause I really wanted to be there.

Another reason that I wanted to be there was so I could dance with you. Did you know that Nicky and Hannah paired up together? We would have walked down the aisle together and I would have danced with you all night. During the hundred degree nights I dream about dancing with you. Will you send me some pictures of you all dressed up? I really want to see how beautiful you looked cause I know you must have looked beautiful.

Do you want a big wedding like Nicky and Hannah or something small? Have you even thought about it? Of course you have. Weddings are something that all girls dream of since they are little girls' right? For me, I never thought much about it, mainly because I'm a guy. I think the best thing about a wedding are the memories that are made and for me, that would be the only reason to have a big, crazy ceremony but honestly, whatever my bride wants would be fine with me.

I just want to let you know that you probably won't hear from me for 3-5 days, maybe a week. We have mission that will take us away from our base and computer access. I'll email you as soon as we get back. I'll miss our emails and before you even say it, I'll be careful. I'll be thinking about you everyday.

Till next time – I love you

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Safe

I hate that you are off on some mission. I am really worried about you- more so than normally. I know that you told me that you will be careful but I'm going to say it anyway. Please, Eddie, please be careful. You have to come home to take me out on our first date.

The wedding was beautiful and just like you requested I attached a couple of pictures for you. I wish you were there too. I ended up walking down the aisle and dancing with Owen Rowan and let me tell you, that man has too left feet. My feet already hurt and after our dance together, they hurt worse.

You should know that you were truly missed at the wedding. They actually blew up a picture of you and propped it up in the front of the church and at the bridal table at the reception so in a small way, you were there.

Of course I have thought about my future wedding. I used to want a huge wedding where I was the most beautiful person there and all eyes were on me. Now, after being a part of Hannah's big wedding I realized that in this case bigger isn't always better. I think that when the time comes for my wedding I want something small because I know k now the only person's eyes that I want on me are those of my grooms'.

I'll be thinking about you and I won't stop worrying until I know that you are safe. Please, be careful.

Stay safe – I love you.

Nine Days Later

To: Janet Latekka

From: Eddie Latekka

Subject: I'm fine

It was bad Janet. Things didn't go as they should have. We were ambushed, two of my guys were killed, and one of them was Mitch. I've told you about Mitch, he is or was my best friend here. Of course Nicky is my best friend but out here, you form another, more intense friendship with the guys you serve with, probably because you depend on them to have your back and Mitch and I, our friendship was really intense.

Janet I failed him. I couldn't save him. I tried but I was too late. He died in my arms and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Hell, I didn't even realize that I got shot until the medic pointed it out to me but I didn't care. The only thing that I could think about was my best friend was dead and it should have been me.

I know that I have just upset you but I wanted to be totally honest with you. It was very dark time for me for a couple of days but I'm better now. I know Mitch wouldn't want me to think like that. He constantly reminded me that I have so much to live for – you.

I'm more scared now then I have ever been before. We've been attacked before and hurt but no one, no one has ever died. I want to come home. I want to feel safe again. I want to be away from death and violence.

I'm fine- physically anyway. I need you to know that. I'll be back to work in a day or two.

I need to go now. I have to meet with a grief counselor. I'll write again soon. Janet I love you, more than you'll ever know.

Till next time- I love you

Two weeks and continuous letters later

To: Janet Meadows

From: Eddie Latekka

Subject: Finally

I'M COMING HOME. I am finally coming home. I ship out in three days and after a short debriefing, I will be home. I totally didn't expect this but I guess after what happened, maybe they figured that we had all we could take so I am on my way home.

Now before I come home there is something that I have to know. Are you the kind of girl that puts out on the first date? God, I hope so! I have been dreaming for months about making love to you but if you want to wait, I guess I can wait to – even though it will kill me.

I'll let you know when I know the details about my arrival. The only thing about my arrival that I know for sure is that I want you at the airport when I get home. Your beautiful face is the first thing I want to see when I step off of that plane. Will you be there?

I'm going to go pack. I'm counting the days and minutes until I see you.

Till next time – I love you.

To: Eddie Latekka

From: Janet Meadows

Subject: Airport

Do you have any idea how happy I am that you are coming home? I knew eventually that you would be coming home but I was starting to think that it was never going to happen but it is. You are finally coming home. After waiting for over a year, I am finally going to feel your arms around me and your lips on mine.

Normally, I don't put out on the first date. I like to leave something to look forward too for future dates but as you put it, our situation is unique, I guess that if you play your cards right, I may be inclined to put out on our first date.

Just so you know, there is no place that I would rather be then at the airport when you step off of the plane. I'll be the girl, with the long dark, curly hair, blue eyes wearing the biggest smile that you have ever seen. I can't wait to see you.

Stay safe- I love you.

Six days later

Eddie Latekka was walking through the airport with his eyes peeled for her. As soon as he passed through security he saw his family and friends waiting for him. His eyes moved past them until they found her. He froze and just stared at her until his mom was throwing her arms around his neck and he reluctantly broke eye contact with her.

Janet Meadows stood behind her boyfriend's friends and family scanning the airport for her first glimpse of him. When she saw his mom gasp and place her hand over her mouth Janet's eyes shifted slightly to the right and that's when she saw him, in his fatigues, beret, carrying a duffel bag and her heart began to pound furiously. She loved him and

she knew that he loved her but there was a part of her that was afraid that everything was going to change when he came home and when their eyes met, across the airport she knew that everything was going to change. His eyes were so full of love and adoration that Janet knew everything was going to change for the better.

"Excuse me mom, but there is someone that I need to see." Eddie said after fifteen minutes of hugs, kisses and tears but his mom did not relinquish her grip. "Mom, please. I'm home and I'm not going anywhere for a while." Robin Latekka finally let go of her precious son and Eddie was finally able to go to her.

When Eddie broke away from the crowd of family and friends and started to walk to her Janet began to walk to him. Right before the couple was about to close the distance between them, Eddie dropped his duffel bag to the ground, held out his arms and Janet walked right into them. They wrapped their arms around each other and just hugged as tightly as they could. Eddie felt her tears hitting his neck and he was shamelessly shedding tears of his own.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered, running his hand around her face, when they finally broke their hug.

"I can't believe that you are here." Janet told him, wiping away his tears.

"I love you." Before she could respond, Eddie crashed his lips to hers. Normally, whenever Janet kissed someone in public she made sure it was tasteful but today, kissing her boyfriend for the first time, tasteful was the farthest thing from her mind. In fact the only thing on both of their minds was tasting each other as much as they could. They kissed for ten minutes, only briefly breaking apart to breathe.

"Wow." Janet gasped when they finally did end the kiss. "By the way, I love you too." Eddie couldn't stop smiling at the woman in front of him. Suddenly she watched as he pulled something out of his pocket and he dropped to one knee. "Oh my God."

When Eddie returned stateside he went and used the little bit of free time that he had to buy an engagement ring. He planned on asking her during their first date, in a romantic setting but he couldn't wait. He nervously opened the box and pulled the ring out.

"Over the past year I have grown to love you, more than I ever thought possible. Through our emails, you have become the most important person in my life and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Janet, will you marry me?"

Janet's mind was screaming that this was all wrong. It wasn't rational. They hadn't even been out on a date yet and she only kissed him for the first time two minutes ago at the same time her heart was telling her that this was how it was supposed to be. Janet chose to follow her heart instead of her brain.

"Yes Eddie. I will marry you." She answered with tears streaming down her face.

Eddie slipped the ring on her finger, stood and passionately kissed his fiancé, both of them pouring every bit of love they felt for each other into the kiss.