Beginning to move

Slowly changing

Cells connect

The sum of the parts

Process quickens

Continues to grow

Never ceasing

Getting stronger

Getting louder

The pulse of life

The heart beating

Quantum motion

Power taking over

Energy flowing

Gaining momentum

Like the beat of drums

.: Momentum – VNV Nation:.

"…er…..ke u…..ander….ake up!"

Something far, far away disturbed her sleep. Her body felt so heavy, and she didn't want to wake up. Shepard tried to ignore the annoying voice in her ears.

"…AKE UP! COMMANDER….come on…you have to wake up, NOW!"

She didn't recognize the female voice who thought she could give her orders. Shepard tried to collect her thoughts. Where was she? Wasn't she supposed to be dead? Her body ached, and the eyelids were so heavy. She tried to move her limbs, but without success. God, she was so dry in her mouth, and her tongue felt like sandpaper. Ok, one step at a time, she thought. Focus on the hands. With some effort she moved her fingers, and soon her arms. Come on! This would take the whole day, which she suspected she didn't have according to the panic in the mystery voice. She opened the eyes but closed them just as quickly. The light was too strong. Carefully she squinted them, and tried to sit up on whatever she was laying on.

"Commander, good to see you are awake, but you need to take yourself out of there. The facility is under attack. "

Her eyes still tried to adjust to the light, and her vision was somewhat foggy. What the hell was happening? She looked around and saw gunfight outside the plexiglass wall.

"There's a pistol in the locker on the other side of the room. You have to hurry"

With a huge effort Shepard stepped down on the floor and tried to keep her balance. With stumbling steps she moved towards the locker. There she found a pistol and some armor. Atleast I remember how to use it, she thought and moved out of the room.

Within a couple of hours she knew how she died, that she was resuscitated and to whom she should be "grateful" to. The meeting with the Illusive Man went well enough. But even if Cerberus was behind her resurrection and owned this ship they would never own her. Shepard would play along as long as their goals matched hers –to take care of the reaper threat, and Lawson as an XO wouldn't change anything.

She was pleasantly surprised to meet Joker again, and glad that he had survived two years ago. But to her the memory of that moment was all too fresh so she didn't linger on that subject. Instead she talked with him about the new ship. He acted like a child on Christmas Day. The only fly in the cup, according to him, was the new improvement – EDI, the ships VI. Poor little Joker couldn't from now on push Normandys boundaries, without having a nagging female VI in his ear. She smiled to herself while she walked down the bridge.

It was hard for her to see the new CIC. Pictures flashed by, her white knuckles holding on to the railing. Fire. Explosions. And the awful smell of burnt flesh. Shepard shaked her head and continued to the elevator. Hopefully this one would be quicker than on the original Normandy. She pressed the button for "Crew's Deck" and watched the metal doors close. Soon enough they opened again.

Wow! Cerberus didn't lack the money, so to speak. A crews quarter, two different bathrooms, a bar, star lounge and a big open space for meals. But it didn't feel right with all the Cerberus crew around. Shepard saw some movement in the medic bay and headed there.

"Commander Shepard, it's good to see you alive. "

"Dr. Chakwas! It's nice to see another familiar face. Thought I would be stuck up with only Cerberus people. How come you of all people let them employ you?".

"Well, most of the original crew that was left got reassigned. I was stationed at a medic center on mars. A very respectable position. But…it wasn't a starship. So, when I got a chance to work at a high class ship again I couldn't resist. Shepard, truth be told, I might be employed by them, but I work for you. "

Chakwas last words almost moved her to tears, and she had to turn her head a little so it didn't show.

"Thank you. It is good to know I have trustworthy people at my back. "

Shepard left the medbay and headed for her cabin. It had been a long day, and she needed some time for herself. She haven't had the time to think things through and to collect the pieces of her wandering mind. When she stepped into her cabin she halted. To her left a blue-glowing fishtank occupied a good part of the wall. It was obvious the Illusive Man and his crew didn't know her that good. If she never could keep bowl-fishes alive when she was a kid, then she definitely couldn't do it now. From the stairs she gave the cabin an overview. So much space, only for her. It was too much, too intimidating, too lonely.

Atleast she was satisfied with her work space. Enough room and light to let her clean her weapons and armor. She picked up one of the datapads and threw it on the bed. A hot shower would do her good before she cuddled herself up in a pyjamas. If she had one, that is. Shepard opened the wardrobe, and after a few minutes she found something cozy enough. A tank top and soft shorts. I'll have to do.

The bathroom was big with a huge mirror covering one wall, a toilet and a shower. She dropped her clothes where she stood and watched herself in the mirror. In her face she saw one big, red scar crossing her cheek and several healed ones as well. But on her body there's wasn't a single mark to prove that she had been rebuilt. The thought sent a shiver through her spine. Rebuilt. Like she was a fucking robot. Maybe she was? She felt uncomfortable in her body, even if there were several perks coming with it. She left her mirror image and stepped into the shower area, exploring the buttons on the panel. Oh…Steam-mode. Sauna. Cold. Hot. Summer rain. Ok, this shower she could definitely get used to. But for now a casual shower would do.

With her long hair in a towel and the comfy-clothes on she jumped into the bed with the datapad in her hands. So much she needed to know, but she was afraid. For her crew it had been over two years. Two years of sorrow and moving on. But for her it had merely been two days. It was a surrealistic experience. Anxiety rose in her chest and it was hard to breath. They lost her years ago, but now she had to feel the loss of all of them. How could she ever approach them and tell them Hey, nice to see you! And by the way, I'm alive. Even if it wasn't her fault she would feel so guilty for their mourning.

In her meeting with the Illusive Man she had asked about them, but didn't get any straight answers. How surprising! At least they were alive, but they weren't pledged to her now. Instead she had mysterious crew members to pick up from all over the galaxy. It would never be the same. Never. But she would do what she always did – her duty. And for now it was to eliminate the Collectors.

After two hours of tossing and turning in the bed she had had enough. Shepard went down to the medbay, hoping for Chakwas to still be awake. She knocked before she entered.

"Shepard, what brings you here this late? Insomnia?"

"Yeah, sort of. Too much thoughts and memories and regrets."

"Anything you want to talk about?

"Not really. I just miss them"

"I miss them too, Shepard. This ship is not the same without them."

"Do you have anything to sleep on?"

"Yes, I have. The same as before, but you will have to double the dose, since your body contains more biotics. "

"Oh. Anything else I should know?"

"Yes. Your body breaks down nutrition in a faster rate than you are used to. That means you'll have to eat and drink more to keep you up and running. "

"Ok, thanks for the head up, Doc. "

"Are you sure you don't want to talk? I can send Yeoman Chambers to you if you want?"

"Spirits, no shrink please! I come talk to you if I need to vent my thoughts, if that's ok with you?"

"You know you are always welcome, Shepard. Take the pills know and go to bed. You surely need some good sleep. "

Shepard went back for her bed. As the pills kicked in she drowsed off, and the thoughts about a certain turian she had suppressed during the day, came back with full force. He had been gone for two years, disappeared without a trace and an apartment left in ruins. She missed him so much, and right now she needed his soothing voice and teasing conversation. He had lost his best friend, but now when she was alive again the loss of him was so much harder because of her changed feelings. Were was he? What were he doing? Was he even alive? What would she say if she ever met him again? Would he blame her? Hate her? Ignore her? That night she cried herself to sleep.

A/N: Greetings, readers! I know there have been atleast 600+ viewers of this story. I'm not much for begging, but if you have anything to say about my writings, please share it with me in a review. Critics is good if it is contructive, and without it I don't know how to do better. Sincerely, "Rodger".