I am only here because of you

And because you never left me behind

Saying thanks in my own way

I say it with a song that soon will fade away

You keep me from breaking apart

You understand the chaos in my head

Only you understand every word I say

You restore my soul and erase all hurt

The hurt that only you can take away

You keep me from breaking apart

.: You keep me from breaking apart – Apoptygma Berzerk:.

"Crew, listen up. We will soon dock at The Citadel. Unfortunately there will be no overnight stay, but you will get 12 hours of shore leave. Use it well, and be back an our before the night shift starts. ETD is 24.00 Citadel Time. Out. "

Garrus watched when Shepard made herself ready to leave the ship with Miranda and Mordin. Before she left she shot a gaze at Garrus and gave him a wicked smile which made him all warm inside. He thought back at what had happened in the shower. A mindblowing moment he would never forget. Not his body either, which was still in a silent rebellion. He hoped he would get the chance to repay the pleasure to her. But before then he had some errands to take care of. His steps moved to the Med Bay.

He knocked at the door before he stepped inside. Dr Chakwas sat at her desk, and spinned in her chair when she heard him enter.

"Garrus! A pleasure to see you. What can I help you with?"

"Hey Doc! I haven't come for myself, but for someone else. I'm worried about the Commander."

"It takes a lot for you to be worried, Garrus. Tell me."

Garrus fidgeted a little before he met her gaze. If Shepard knew he went behind her back she would be so mad at him, but her well-being was more important.

"Well, I visited her last night and we fell asleep together…" Chakwas lifted an eyebrow but didn't say anything and made a sign to him to continue.

"I woke up in the middle of the night, she was hyperventilating. She stared right up at the canopy, and relived the moment when she died. According to EDI this is happening almost every night. "

"How does it come I get to know about this only now?" Her forehead wrinkled.

"Shepard has forbidden EDI to say anything. Me too, but I can't obey bad orders. I just wanted you to know."

"I'm not surprised. It's the stubborn Commander we are talking about. You care about her."

"A lot. Is this conversation confidential?"

"Of course, Garrus. I maintain professional secrecy as long as it doesn't affect life or death."

"I love her. Have been since the beginning I think. She doesn't know it, though. Just that I have feelings for her. "

"Are them answered?"

"Yes. We have decided to give it a try." Garrus mandibles fluttered in shyness.

"I almost understood that. It was just a matter of time after your little sparring." Chakwas smiled. "Back to her mental health. Without talking to her I can't put a diagnose, but I'm pretty sure she suffers from posttraumatic stress syndrome. Since she is so stubborn she won't take pills for the anxiety, it makes her mind somewhat slower for a time. "

"What can I do to help?" Garrus really wanted to help but he didn't know how.

"Just to be there. She needs closeness and care from her friends to keep her anchored to the reality, to lessen her stress. Keep her company at night, to prevent her from breaking apart. Hopefully it will be better with time. As for the canopy you can maybe drape it with something?"

"I am sorry for disturbing your conversation, Dr Chakwas."

"Go ahead EDI. What's on your mind?"

"Mr. Moreau gave a suggestion you could dim the window in her bedroom at night."

"Did he, now? And how come he can give that advice without confessing he is eavesdropping on a confidential conversation between a doctor and her patient?"

A moment of silence before EDI answered.

"He will no longer have a two-way connection with the Med Bay without your permission, Dr Chakwas. "

"Thank you, EDI. Now let me and Garrus be."

"Yes Doctor. Logging out. "

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Ok, really? How many times can you walk by without stopping? Please tell me your password, Commander Shepard." Shepard had walked around the advertisment pillar a few turns with answering the adds, just to see if they were recorded or if the pillar was hacked. Apparently the last, which she had suspected from the beginning.

"You know who I am, Kasumi. I don't have time for playing games."

"Shame, really a shame. But Kasumi Goto's services is yours, Commander. "

"Has Cerberus given you enough information about the mission?"

"For now, yes. But I will have questions for you later. Did they tell you they promised me some aid with a private mission of mine?"

"I guess that's something The Illusive Man chose to forget to tell me, I guess. Do you want to meet face to face, and make us company this day Ms. Goto?"

"Not really. I'm the best thief there is, not the most famous and I want to keep it that way. See you at the Normandy, Commander. And don't forget you owe me a favor."

She felt stupid for have been talking with a pillar, and she saw in the corner of her eye that a few people looked her way. Well well. Another person to her crew, and it hadn't gone 30 minutes yet since they left Normandy. Her stomach ached and rumbled, and she worried about if this morning's ingestion would be any problem. She hadn't had breakfast yet and her stomach was revolting. A quick turn to Anderson and then grab a cup of tea and a sandwish somewhere.

"Miranda, can I leave you alone with your shopping list? I have a few things I have to take care of."

"I'm fine, Commander. Any last minute changes for the list?"

"Nope."

"Ok, see you later." Miranda's perfect body in that white, tight garment moved smoothly around a corner.

"Well then, Mordin. This was a short mission. I release you to whatever you need to do today."

"Appreciated, Commander. Suggest you to eat. Even without allergic reaction you can get stomach ache if ingesting turian semen." Mordin pointed at her rumbling stomach, and her face got red as a boiled lobster.

"How did you know?" she asked silently.

"Not hard to figure out. Stomach rumbles, and cabin is right above my lab. The ship is not completely soundproof. Don't worry. Strictly confidential."

"Ehm…Thanks…Mordin."

Shepard left the place with quick steps in an attempt to forget their awkward conversation.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Garrus roamed through the 27th floor of the Zakera Ward to say hello to his former colleagues at the C-Sec. He saw a known face and before he had the chance to turn around the other one looked up and saw recognitionally at him and started to walk towards Garrus.

Oh shit. Garrus sighed inwardly but knew this conversation couldn't be avoided. The last time they had contact was on Omega when he thought he was about to die.

"Garrus." A cold salute, as always. He answered back in the same icy pitch.

"Father."

"So you survived Omega after all."

"I did. Commander Shepard came to my rescue."

"I guessed as much, since the rumors about her resurrection were true. What has happened to your face?" Tetus grabbed his face and turned it to examine his scars.

"A rocket decided my face was a nice bull's eye. Shepard saved my life, literally."

"So, it's Shepard now? What happened with the Commander?" Garrus wasn't surprised his father had picked up the precluded title.

"She's my best friend and comrade, and has saved my ass more times than I can count."

"Best friends, huh? Anything else I should now about?" His father's gaze told him everything about what Tetus thought about his collaborations with humans.

"None of your business." Garrus stared his father right in the eyes, challenging him to say something.

"With that scar, it doesn't matter anyway. The mating request has drastically decreased after you left C-Sec and chose to work with that human. You left the Turian Way long ago. " He heard disdain in his father's subharmonics.

"You made me to." A low growl warned his father to continue. Their conversation always ended in this; that he wasn't a god turian. He didn't care anymore. Turians generally were narrow-minded, his father in particular.

"And now you are on some great adventure, under Cerberus flag."

"I don't require your understanding or your blessing. But I trust Commander Shepard's judgement. This is so much bigger than a fucking adventure. It is about the safety of the Galaxy."

"There's no proof."

"Just because The Council choose to look another way and put the lid on the rumors. Commander Shepard were right about Saren, and she is right this time too."

"You should come home, Garrus. Your sister miss you. And your mother isn't becoming better." Garrus got some guilty conscience. The rest of his family shouldn't suffer because is father was an asshole, but he couldn't leave Shepard's side. Not now, when there was so much at stake.

"I can't. Not now. I will call them later, and I send all the credits I can for mother's treatment."

"Credits can't buy love for your family."

"I know. But it's the best I can do for now."

Garrus froze. He saw Shepard come walking towards them, and he hoped this wouldn't end in a catastrophe.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Shepard had given Anderson a quick visit at his office. She was glad to see him, and he was also. It was nice to get some moral support when all others seemed to doubt her. She was on her way to try find something to eat when she saw Garrus outside the C-Sec, stand and talk with another turian. She closed in and saw a distressed look in his face when he saw her. Was this untimely?

"Hey, Garrus! Am I disturbing you?"

"No, Commander. Let me introduce you to my father, Tetus Vakarian. Father, this is Commander Shepard." Shepard turned towards his father and stood in attention and then bowed from her waist, in a perfect imitation of a turian salutation.

"Mr. Vakarian. Pleasure to meet you."

Tetus bowed only as much as the etiquette required and looked back at Garrus.

"Garrus, Commander." Then he turned and left. Garrus sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Did I do anything wrong?" Shepard put her hand on his arm and looked worriedly at him.

"No. I just have a very uncivilized father. Want something to eat? It's lunch time."

"Does that work for you?" she asked and pointed at Zakera Café.

"Sure, it's a Dextro/Levo-café, so why not?"

They went to the café, side by side in silence. When they were there Shepard stood at the counter waiting for service. After a minute a turian came forward.

"Welcome to Zakera Café. How may I help you?"

"Do you have black tea?"

"Yes, we do. We have a brought a new variety, with a hint of Palaven Moonlily if you want to try. Levo-safe of course."

"Sure, why not? And a chicken sandwich too, please."

"Of course. And for you, sir? Maybe a cup of blue Kashtu, with beans from the Palaven Mountains?"

"Yes, that sounds good. Nothing to eat though. "

"Do you pay separately or together?"

"I pay" Shepard said and kept her Omnitool above the creditcounter on the desk.

"By the way, do you have palatabilty enhancer for sale? I have different races aboard, and the dextro/levo rations are at best tasteless. " The turian behind the counter fluttered his mandibles in amusement.

"Of course! We can deliver to your ship immediately."

"Oh! Good. Deliver it to the Normandy." The turian halted his movement.

"So, you are the famous Commander Shepard. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. The goods will be at the ship within an hour. "

"Thank you."

Garrus and Shepard turned around to find an available table to stand at, and found one farthest away at the wall.

"So, want to talk about your father?" She sipped carefully at her cup of turian tea. It actually tasted really good, and she reminded herself to buy a lot more before they left.

"What is there to say? He is a turian of the old, conservative school. He has always tried to steer my lifechoices, and isn't too happy that I quitted my C-Sec career to follow you instead and save the galaxy. What he did now was very rude and for that I am apologizing. You are a human, and to top it all: a Spectre. Two things he hates combined. "

"I guess I'm not the perfect daugher-in-law, then." she answered, with a sad smile.

"Not to him. But to me you are perfect." Garrus touched her hand carefully and then withdrew. She was Commander Shepard now, not Kayla Shepard. He didn't know how much affection they could show each other. She smiled at him and laid her hand over his.

"Tell me more about the rest of your family. I barely know anything about them. "

"Well, I have a sister – Solana. She is four years younger than me."

"This is embarrassing, but how old are you Garrus? I've never asked you." Shepard smiled awkwarldy and made a face.

"I am surprised, Kayla, that you don't know. I'm 31."

"Like me then. I always thought of you as younger than me. But please, continue."

"She is beautiful, smart and and a hell of a soldier. She was in the military up until now, and is taking care of our mother. My mother is very sick in a degenerative disease called Corpalis Syndrome. "

"Is there any cure?"

"Not yet, only repressive meds. The salarians are working on a cure, but they are so far only in the experimental stage." Shepard squeezed his hand.

"I'm so sorry, Garrus. Is there anything I can do?"

"Thanks for asking, but no. It's nothing I want to lay on you."

"Hey! If there's anything I can do then let me. You are there for me, than let me support you."

Garrus hesitated for a moment. "The salarians has acknowledged my mother as a medical experimental object for their new treatment, but they need credits to get ahead in the development."

"How much credits are we talking about?"

Garrus was silent for a while, and looked down on the cup in his hand before he mumbled "150-200k of credits."

"It's yours, Garrus." she said within a blink of an eye.

"No, Kayla. I can't take it from you."

"You're not taking it. I am giving it as a gift to the one I care about most in this galaxy. Please let me help you."

Garrus hummed in appreciation. She smiled enchantingly at him. Oh, how he loved this kindhearted female.

"Thanks, Kayla. It means so much to me."

"I would do anything for you, Garrus. Anything."