A few weeks later...
" Gail, I see you're finally back at Casa Diaz Peckstein!" Chris picked her up and hugged her tightly. The taller officer knew that it was way out of his bounds to have any sort of physical contact with Gail, but he hadn't seen her in ages outside of work. He was probably going to get smacked due to the physical contact that Gail absolutely loathed, but he hadn't seen her in ages except for at work.
Gail hugged him back briefly before letting her hands drop to her sides. " Please let me go. " Gail said softly. Chris wasn't bothered that she hugged him back, but moreso the fact that his ears picked up on Gail, the hardened snarky woman she is, say please.
Nah. He concluded that he was still as high as a kite from earlier. Despite the good things he had seen in Gail, 'please' did not exist in her common vocabulary between them.
"Hey are you and Holly still on the just not talking anymore basis?"
"No."
"That's great! We should-"
"We're over. " The woman walked past him and towards her room without another word.
The door shut behind her and she let her back lean against the door frame. She didn't think she had it in her to say those words yet, but it was the truth; she couldn't expect anything or play the what if game anymore.
It's been a few weeks, but the rejection was still tender.
The pungent stench of alcohol and pizza was enough to know that her room was a mess. The next few hours would be hell.
Three boxes packed to the brim nestled in the trunk of Gail's car. One last look at her apartment, her 'home', brought a sad smile to her face. She had lived there for awhile from her Academy days up till now, but she wanted a new atmosphere in solace without hearing those sounds when Chloe was over for the night and when Chris was tripping himself out over stupid things when he was high.
She'd thought about a new place since before she met Holly, but now seemed like the perfect time to move out.
She sighed and looked over at her friends who waved from the window. She thought she would have been long gone an hour ago, but she had to explain to them that she was leaving. They freaked out and demanded her to stay, but she explained to them that she was just leaving for a new condo by herself closer to the station. They knew by then that she already made her decision and wasn't going to change her mind.
She had already took the initiative beforehand to give Chloe the key to her old room. The perky redhead responded with a surprised expression and acceptance while hugging Gail. Gail hadn't had her coffee that early in the morning yet, so she threatened to taze the girl if she didn't let go.
Gail's phone rang and she picked up after reading the caller ID, " Hey Mrs. Sanders, I'm on my way. "
...
The winter frost had already been long gone a few days prior, and the budding of flowers emerged from the ground in an array of colors. The park was beautiful during the spring, but Gail always preferred the first snowfall over anything. Holly loved the spring.
She watched the children run by the swings and on the playground. She longed for that type of childhood at one point, the ideal family that would go to the parks with their children and eat that disgusting chemically induced ice cream, but she realized at a very young age that it would never happen. By the time she was old enough to comprehend words, Elaine Peck, her mother, already started to take her around her office and teach her the ropes of being an officer. Typical for being a Peck.
The perks of being an adult were much better though, she didn't have to see her mother every day unless she had those surprise visits at the 15th Division. She would raise hell on those days. Good coffee and gourmet donuts every morning were definitely worth it though.
The woman sitting beside her noticed the officer's daze, she cleared her throat a little too loudly and called out her name. "As I was saying Gail, She will be transferred soon."
Gail looked at the small girl sitting on the swings before she cast her gaze back to the woman beside her. The little girl deserved better, especially after what happened to her mother. " Ms. Sanders, please take care of Sophie for a little while longer, I'm trying to find a permanent family for her in the area. " Gail didn't plead, nor did she beg, but this little girl gave her a sense of sanity and she felt the need to be there for her.
The woman paused and nodded, " I owe you for saving Jensen a few years ago, I'll pull some strings and give her a few more weeks, alright? "
Gail stood up and smiled, " I'll drop Sophie off in a few hours. " The two women exchanged goodbyes and Gail made her way to the swing and sat beside the younger girl.
" Hey kid. I got your letter, I loved it. " Gail patted the girl's head.
" Hey Officer Gail!"
" You make me sound like an old fart. You can just call me Gail. "
Sophie laughed and proceeded to start swinging, betting against Gail that she could swing higher than her. Gail loved the carefree innocence of the little girl.
The young girl had been through a lot the past few months. Sophie hadn't only seen pain and loneliness from all the children in the caretakers home, but she had felt it. She was a smart girl, and with everything that had happened she understood what loneliness looked like.
" Why are you sad Gail? " Sophie spoke up looking at the older woman.
" I'm not sad Sophie, I'm happy to see you. " Her voice was always sincere with the girl. Gail didn't admit it, but she had a soft spot for her, for kids in general.
" The other kids at home have the same face you have on."
Observant and always curious. Gail liked that about Sophie. " It's big adult problems, but having you here makes me feel better Soph. " She smiled at the girl and ruffled her hair.
Gail had agreed to herself that morning to push away Holly memories and Holly conversations and everything Holly away in the back of her mind where they would lay dormant, but just close enough to still have an affect on her. Not forever, but for awhile. She shook her head, and averted her attention back to Sophie. " It's getting late, we should get going?"
The car engine shut off and walked Gail to the front porch.
"Goodnight, Gail!" The girl said as she stood by the doorstep looking up at the taller woman who held her hand. For a second Gail frowned, but she knelt down at eye-level with the smaller girl and embraced her tightly.
" Night Sophie. "
…
A black cursor hovered over the send button and clicked twice. Holly had been doing paper work the whole day. Her hands were itching for another autopsy to get her mind off of things, specifically the blonde officer, but the gods were against her today.
Here she was putting in the extra hours, even working on paperwork at home, just something to keep her distracted. Putting away raw feelings was always difficult for her.
It was so easy to fall in love with Gail. Their banter and snarky comments sparring back and forth constantly. The curiosity she carried when observing Holly as she delved into her work. I just see bones. Holly smiled. Looking back, Holly remembered the shock she felt when Gail started picking up on the medical terms of the bones she was working on. Or the many times Gail willingly accepted to participate in the many sports outings that she did horrible in. Those were the best.
Holly was always on her toes, loving her was never boring, she was having fun with someone she cared about which turned into love.
Then there was the other side of Gail. The one who ran away when they shared big, new experiences together. The first time they made love. The morning after, her bed was vacant and it had been days before Holly finally cornered her demanding what caused her to run away after that night. Or the many times when Gail would drunkenly knock on her doors at the break of dawn demanding for alcohol. When asked what was wrong when she was sober, she bottled up herself acting as if nothing ever happened. Then the rare occasions where she completely shut off from the world and didn't return till she got incredibly drunk and called out for Holly. The sex that came during her drunken state felt so meaningless. She felt used.
The relationship she had was black and white. She hated this. Justifying her past relationship and feelings for Gail. Measuring Gail, a person whom she loved, on a scale of pros and cons.
She packed away her things quickly. You broke up with Gail, remember?
The brunette checked her phone and looked at the unread text message from an hour ago.
Meet us at Pegasus! You promised Hols. It's a lesbian bar btw. xAlex
...
Gail ringed the waitress for another shot of Tequila. Her group of friends minus Chris were all huddled in the corner of The Black Penny playing the nerdy question game that Dov created back in the day.
" The main bones of our hand?" Dov read aloud on the white card.
"Phalanges. " Gail said a little too quickly without thinking. She remembered sifting through old medical journals Holly left behind, she had brought them to her new apartment and placed them by her night stand to read over before bed once in awhile.
"100 Points for McPeck!" Andy slapped Gail's back in excitement. They were in the lead now by 50 points. Gail excused herself to the washroom to get the grease out from the fries she had been eating.
She quickly washed her hands and started splashing water on her face. She could see herself in the reflection of the mirror. A shade of scarlet graced her cheeks from the alcohol, but what was more noticeable were the prominent eye bags that dinged the perfection of her porcelain face.
She frowned at herself and watched as creases scattered her forehead. You'll get wrinkles early. Holly would always reprimand the blonde whenever she frowned.
The blonde pulled out a makeup brush and touched up under her eyes to hide the greyness. She had gotten too used to warm hands encircling her waist, or the many nights when her bare body lay flush against the warmth of her lover, ex-lover. Sleep was restless for her every night since then , but she had gotten used to it. It was different now because everything was stripped away too fast for her to even catch a breath.
Gail left The Black Penny early. Her drunken friends begged her to stay, they literally begged on their knees and hailed her champion of the world, but she wasn't in the mood anymore.
…
"How about her? " Holly signaled with her eyes and nodded her head to the right. A blonde woman sat with a margarita in hand by the open bar.
" Stop picking damn blondes for me Holly, I know you just broke up with your girl and all, but you know I was done with blondes like 5 years ago. " Alex downed a shot of whiskey.
" She's not my girl and that tattoo is tacky Alex. " She poked at the fresh tattoo on her friend's arm.
" Girls dig roses blind eyes. "
" You wear glasses too Miss Casanova. " Holly and Alex always made of each other.
" Mkk, how about I find you a girl Hols. " She spotted a red head and pointed at her, " She's definitely a 10 in my book."
Holly glanced over and took a shot of her Tequila and shook her head. She considered it for a second taking in the features of the woman, but decided against it. " I can't. " She looked too much like Gail.
" Well with that I'm-still-hung over-my-ex-girlfriend-look, I doubt you'd be getting any action anyways. "