AN: Hey everyone. I had this chapter already done for a couple days but I held it back. I try not to be a bitch about reviewing but its not cool when I do the math and only get 1 review out of 40+ hits. Or if I have over 80 favorites and almost none of them review. I spend a lot of time to write this and I think leaving a review is just a polite thing to do. I review every story I read. Because its my way to show the author that I appreciate them taking the time to update, especially if I really like the story. End of rant. Thank you to those who did review. It motivated me to write this out and get started on the next chapters already.

My name is Inuyasha Takahashi and I am an addict. I am 19 years old; my birthday was a few days ago. I have a wife and a 10 month old. They mean a lot to me but not as much as getting high does. They might know that, seeing as Kagome is never home anymore. Neither am I really, but when I am here, she isn't. We never really talk unless she has something to complain about. I haven't seen my daughter in days, just to avoid Kagome. Spring semester for college is starting in a few weeks. Kagome will be going, but I won't. I avoided signing up again. I don't want to go to school. I just want to get messed up.

I have a morning ritual, which consists of waking up, taking a quick shower, and shooting up. I was introduced to the needle a couple months ago. Ever since then, it's been my only way to do dope. I love watching my blood fill the chamber when I hit the vein. There is no better excitement than that. Just knowing that I'm about to feel amazing in a moment. It's like riding a roller coaster; you are going up that fist hill as you get everything ready, then when you hit the vein it's like that slow entry over the top leading you to the best part, the ride. I live for that.

Then I usually just hang out in my room, or go downstairs and play videogames. Sometimes I fall asleep till the next day. It makes time fly.

Time flew by very fast recently. Today I am going to attend my mom's funeral. I don't want to go. I don't want to see her. I'm going to try not to use today. For her. I know she wouldn't want me using at all. That isn't an option though, but for today I will try and respect her wishes. Besides, I've been pawning things from around the house lately. I don't want to know what my dad would do if he found out exactly why.

He is such an idiot. Especially for being so smart. Yeah, he knows there is something up with me but he's clueless as to what. I think. It sure is easy to get away with anything in this household. I don't even hide my shit in the closet anymore. It's in the nightstand right next to my bed. I know if someone were to look around my room they would find it easily, but nobody would look anyways.

I'm sure everyone is wondering if I've noticed the person I have become. The answer is yes, I have. It isn't a good place for me. Every day I hate myself more and more. But that only makes me need the drugs more and more. I could never be sober, knowing the shit I've done, and put my family through. Well, my mother, wife and daughter at least.

Today is going to be the first time I see my brother Sesshomaru in a couple months. I avoid him like the plague. My father is never home, he is easy to stay away from. Sesshomaru on the other hand was constantly bringing Rin and Tomaru over to see our mom. I had to sneak out every time he pulled in the driveway.

I really don't want to see him, Mr. Perfect. He is the first born. He is smarter than me and would never be in the position I am in; he wouldn't become an addict. He wouldn't have even tried heroin. But I did try it, and now I can never stop doing it.

If going through withdrawals wasn't bad enough, just the thought of never getting the high again terrifies me. I think I'd rather die than have to go without my true love. Nothing makes me feel better than getting high. My life is miserable when I'm not, but as soon as she's back in my life everything bad is out of mind. All I know is the good feeling.

I looked at the only watch I had left. I'm surprised I haven't sold it yet. I need to be at the funeral home in an hour.

I took a quick shower and started to get dressed when I heard my phone buzzing. It was a text from Kagome. Lately she's been doing this in order to avoid seeing me. That's fine though, because I don't want her to see me like this anyways.

The message read that she was leaving in her own car. She must have talked my dad into buying her one when we started to fall out. I know she didn't get it by herself.

I put the phone in my pocket and finished getting dressed. I try to look my best and put on black slacks, and a long sleeve button up shirt. It was formal and covered my arms. Then after putting on my shoes I grabbed my car keys and went into the garage to get my car.

I drove to the funeral home in silence. The only thoughts going through my head were how I needed to use and me trying my best to silence that voice.

"For mom." I whispered. I can't do it today. Today is her day and I won't do it.

Once I was in the parking lot I lit a cigarette. If I couldn't get high, a little nicotine might do me some good. I smoked one more before deciding it was time to get out of the car.

I walked into the building with my head down. I didn't want anyone to notice me. Yeah I'll obviously stand out with my hair color the way it is but I don't know, maybe they'll all get the hint and stay away.

I was the last of my immediate family to get there, as everyone was sitting in the front. Rin was crying into a tissue while Sesshomaru held her hand and their son. He didn't look like he had been crying but he had a frown on his face. Next to Rin was Kagome. She had Kaiya in her arms and was rocking the baby, while tears streamed down her face. She always did love my mom. They were very close. My father was standing next to the casket, greeting people who were there to say their final goodbyes. He looked stressed and I know he was trying his best to hold it all in.

I didn't want to go to the casket. First off, there was a long line of people. Secondly, I didn't want to see my mom. I will at the end. I'll say my last goodbye. But if I look at her now I might just run out of here and go straight to my dealer's house. I'll use this time to prepare myself so that doesn't happen.

I sat down on the empty seat next to Kagome. My father stood vigilantly next to my mom, and my brother kept his composure to comfort Rin. I'm sure everyone knows I am the failure of my family. I followed their example to try and win a little self respect back, by rubbing my hand on Kagome's back. She looked up at me with red rimmed eyes.

"Inuyasha." She sniffled.

I leaned my forehead against hers. My eyes watered as I felt her body rock with her crying. When was the last time we were this close without fighting? I can't even remember.

Today we'd forget all of our arguments and just be there for each other. Because we were both hurting. I knew she was thinking the same.

"Here," she handed me the baby, "I'm going to go up now. I didn't want to while I held her."

I nodded while taking Kaiya into my arms. She was behaving well. She was the only thing for me to be happy about today. She was smiling, happy to see me. How innocent my daughter is. In a room where her grandmother is lying dead, and hundreds of people are crying and mourning, Kaiya is oblivious to it all. She just knows that I'm her daddy, and she loves me, and I am holding her so she is happy.

Eventually Kagome sat back down, but I continued to hold onto the baby. There were a few people giving speeches, I was not one of them. Then came the time for everyone to leave. For people who wanted to wait, like me, to say our final goodbye.

This was it, this would be the last time I'd ever see my beautiful mothers face. I gave Kagome the baby and walked up to my mother's casket. My father was there. We did not exchange words. I stared at the body. It did not look like her. Instantly I felt nauseous. I tried to hold it back. My father wrapped an arm around me.

"Inuyasha."

I nodded, signaling that I heard him. I lost my voice for the moment.

"Your mother loved you very much."

Again, I nodded.

"I hope you will do well in her memory."

"I know." I answered.

I reached forward and held onto my mother's cold, stiff arm. "I love you mom." The tears were falling down my face like two rivers. "I'm gonna miss you so much." You were the best mom I could ever ask for.

I wiped my running nose and face with a tissue and turned to my dad. He gave me a hug and I tried my best not to break down. This was so much harder than I thought it would be!

After composing myself I stood straight up and nodded towards the empty shell that was my mother. Then I hurried back to my seat. As everyone was leaving I heard a lot of apologies and condolences but I just would ignore them all.

When all the attendees were gone Kagome and Rin left with the kids, and my father and brother stood at the casket; Looking in for one last time.

I stood up and started to make my way out the door. My head was spinning. I needed a cigarette to calm me down. Of course with my horrible luck my brother came following me outside and stopped me before I could get in my car.

"Inuyasha." He hurried over to me. "We need to talk."

Do I look like I want to talk, Sesshomaru? I leaned on the vehicle and lit up a smoke. "Now isn't the best time."

He looked pissed. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I made a face. "Other than my mom dying? Nothing."

"Bullshit."

I rolled my eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

"I know you're doing something, Inuyasha." He sized me up. "So what is it?"

"I'm not doing anything."

He got closer. "Don't lie to me. Do you think I am stupid?"

I put up a front. "Sesshomaru, I'm not doing anything. Where is this all even coming from?"

"You want to play this game Yash?" I'm not playing any game so mind your fucking business. I wish I could say that. He continued, "Kagome has expressed her concerns to me about you. Mother did as well before she passed. You have been avoiding me for months now. And you look like shit."

Really now? "First off, Kagome doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. I haven't been avoiding you it's just a coincidence that I'm gone when you come over. And don't tell me that I look like shit!" I'm trying so hard not to punch him in the face.

He chuckled and shook his head. "You're about to lose everything if you don't clean up your act, little brother."

I've had enough of this. "Go fuck yourself Sesshomaru." I got into my car and slammed the door shut.

Most of the cars were leaving and following the hearse to the graveyard where my mom would be buried. I'm not going to torture myself with this anymore. As every car made a right out of the parking lot I turned left.

I said I wouldn't use today but damn that shit with Sesshomaru just pushed me over the edge. I couldn't deny a fix if my life depended on it.

Speeding my way to Naraku's new apartment I rang the bell for him to buzz me in. "It's Yash." I said into the speaker. Seconds later the door unlocked and I opened it. I practically ran up the stairs, hurrying to his door.

He opened it just as I made it up. "Inuyasha," he looked me over, "why so formal?"

I walked in and answered. "My mom's funeral was today."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

I just nodded. I'm sick of everyone apologizing to me. Do they really think it's going to make me feel any fucking better?

I paid Naraku what money I had and got my bag of happiness. I wanted to wait till I got home to use it so I sped all the way back.

When I got back to the house nobody was there. I ran up to my room and jumped in my bed. Giddy with excitement. Finally I have something to be happy about. I pulled open the drawer to the nightstand and rummaged through it to get the things I needed.

Then I noticed a picture of my mom. I stopped what I was doing and picked it up. Inspecting it. This was from my high school graduation. She was so proud of me back then. I was doing so good with my life. Instantly I felt guilty. I probably made her last days on earth so much worse than it should have been. What kind of son am I? Now she is gone. And she's never coming back. I'll never get to hug her, or tell her that I'm sorry. Or that I love her. The depression was taking over my whole body. Oh fuck, my mom is dead. She's dead! The emotions I felt were out of control. I was so miserable. If I had a gun I'd shoot myself. I'm such a bad person. A bad son and a worse father. I hated myself so much.

I need these feeling to stop. I want to feel good. I flung the photo away and grabbed all the things I needed with a rushed fury. As fast as I possibly could I did the process, heating the water, filling the needle, watching the blood swirl before I pushed the plunger.

My arm burned as is traveled up and then finally, exactly what I needed. I felt like throwing up because it felt so damn good! Euphoria. Pure happiness. Ah yes I'm in heaven.

AN: Hope you liked it. You know what to do ;)