It was days before she talked to Josh, and she knew he had been avoiding her. It wasn't like they had ever been the kind of couple that talked every day, but it was apparent that he'd wanted his space. Finally he'd run out of excuses and come over, sitting on the edge of the couch while she paced across the room.

"I'm pregnant," she finally blurted out, the first time she'd spoken the words. Josh was silent for a moment, cracking his knuckles before he spoke.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Is it mine?"

She rolled her eyes at that; he knew very well it was his.

"Yes."

"Okay. Um… I guess, good luck with that."

She'd been expecting some amount of rejection, but not to this degree. She watched him stand from the couch and cross to the door and she stood there silently for a second.

"Hey, wait a minute! Are you seriously just walking out?"

"Yeah, I am."

"If you walk out now Josh, you're walking out for good. Just think about that for a minute."

"I didn't sign up for this, Lindsay. It's not what I planned. I'm not going to screw up my life because of you."

The words cut her deeply, similar ones had been spoken to her before and she felt tears coming into her eyes.

"You don't want to have anything to do with this baby?"

"No, I don't."

He slipped out the door before she could ask him anything else and she felt her knees buckling beneath her and she sunk slowly to the floor, crying hard for what felt like the hundredth time this week. She knew she would be a single mother and if he had, in a chivalrous moment wanted to stay with her and even marry her, she would have denied him. But she didn't know he would walk out on his child. She couldn't imagine any man being that cold hearted, and the fact that she'd given herself over completely to someone like him just made her feel like scum. She was a horrible person and no one else would ever want her. This poor child, how awful it would be to have a mother like her.

She sat up after a few moments, rubbing her eyes and resigning herself to the fact that she was going to be completely on her own. Josh didn't want or need her and she didn't want or need him. And no matter how she felt about herself right now, she knew it would do her child no good to be self deprecating, and she was going to have to learn to walk proud at some point.

The door opened and she looked up, finding her roommate Audrey, a large stack of books in her arms.

"Lindsay. Are you alright?"

She shook her head, not sure where to begin, if she even wanted to say at all.

"What happened?"

"Josh and I broke up."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Audrey said, setting her books on the table and sinking down to the floor. "Why?"

"Because… because…I'm pregnant."

"Oh Linds."

Audrey didn't judge her in that moment, didn't lecture her or ask questions. She simply leaned over and pulled Lindsay into her arms, hugging her tightly and letting her cry. They hadn't known each other very long, but they got along well, and Lindsay figured if Audrey could take this so calmly, her family should at least be able to accept it.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm keeping it. Other than that, I have no idea. This wasn't supposed to happen. I never thought about it."

"It's going to be okay. It happens to lots of people. You can still go to school. I'll help you with whatever I can. I can even go with you when you tell your parents."

"I need to go lay down."

Audrey helped her up then hugged her once more.

"It's going to be okay, Lindsay. I know it will."

"Thanks."

"So what you're saying to me right now is that you have an alibi, you have at least ten people that can vouch for you being where you said you were, and you don't know why they won't back you up."

"Well…"

"The only actual alibi you have is the fact that witnesses saw you arguing with our victim less than an hour before he died. Funnily enough, his business partner was murdered the very next day in exactly the same way."

"I don't think that's just a coinci-dink," Danny muttered, leaning back in his chair.

"The building you live in was slated to be torn down in order to make room for their new condos. I'd be mad too," Lindsay said in a light voice, giving a little shrug.

"Yeah, I'd be ticked. Especially if I'd lived there all my life. We understand, Will."

"Look, I didn't do anything. Yeah, they wanted to tear down my building, but they were paying all of us for it. It was more than enough to find another place."

"Find another rent controlled building in Manhattan? One that held all the memories of your life? One that your family had lived in for generations?"

"No, but do you think I care about my family? They all left, I've got nothing."

"Nothing except your home."

Will rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair, shaking his head.

"What's my motive? I kill them and I don't get the money."

"No, but you get to stay. That's more important to you isn't it?"

"I want a lawyer."

"Okay, that's fine, you can have one," Danny said, standing up and gathering his papers from the table. "I just hope you know that the evidence we've got against you can't be changed even by the best lawyer. That blood is still on your hands."

Danny stalked out of the room and Lindsay followed him, trying to read his demeanor from the back. She hadn't known him all that long, but despite being a man's man, notorious for never tipping his hand and revealing his emotions, she could tell just by the tenseness in his arms that he was frustrated.

"Danny?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"We don't got much on him when it comes down to it, you know," he said, turning around and crossing his arms over his chest.

"What do you mean?"

"Everything we have is circumstantial, we don't have any concrete evidence, not one single piece of forensic anything that ties him to these deaths. All we have is a weak motive and no alibi."

"Well then let's go find some evidence. That warrant covered a lot, we're bound to find something."

"You think I was too gung-ho, goin' in there and questioning him so early?"

"No," she said simply, heading out the door.

"I don't understand how you operate, Montana," he sighed, resigned to following her back to the lab.

"I don't understand how I operate either so don't even worry about it."

"You are a hard read. You know that?"

"Sure."

He shook his head and laughed a little.

"No, I mean… you're like this person who works in the lab and ceases to exist outside of it."

"Well… thanks a lot."

"No, I just mean that we don't really know you. You know, like you could have this private life that none of us would ever guess like you could be datin' a politician or you could be trainin' for the Olympics or…"

"Right," she laughed. "I think I know what you mean but um… I am definitely not dating a politician and I am even more definitely not training for the Olympics."

"So then what do you do when you go home?"

"Sleep. I do a lot of sleeping. And eating too, probably more than sleeping."

"That's it?"

"Danny, I've been working about 60 hours a week since I started here. I don't really have time for much else."

"But if you did?"

"I don't know. Life is different here than it was at home. I haven't found myself yet."

"Well when you do, let me know. I want to see if you take up knitting."

"Suddenly I feel like my mother," she said, stepping into the layout room and grabbing coat and a pair of gloves. Danny chuckled and donned his lab attire too.

"Hey Adam. Starting our work for us?"

"Yeah, Mac said you're leaving early today so I should help out."

"Leavin' early Montana? You didn't want to mention that before? Where are you goin'?"

"Nowhere important. I just have a… thing. And you know, it's not that early since I'm still working ten hours."

"Okay, whatever. Not like I can get out of here early to take my girlfriend out or anything."

Lindsay snorted a laugh and exchanged a look with Adam who was grinning too.

"What?"

"I think I heard the same phrase uttered at a J.V. football practice once."

"You have brothers don't you?"

"Yeah, three older ones."

"It's not a mystery then," he mumbled, shaking his head and setting to work, pulling things out of the box and logging them in before he started to examine them. Lindsay did the same and they all worked in silence for over an hour, the work tedious and revealing very little.

"Positive for blood on the soles of the shoes," Danny said after a while. It's scuffed up, like he wiped his feet on a welcome mat or something, but it's there."

"Enough for a match?"

"Enough to try. I'm going to go ahead and test this and clean out the treads just in case."

"Alright. I'm going to head out, but I'll be back in the morning so you can save me stuff if you want."

"Yeah, get outta here. Go do your thing."

"Thanks."

She cleaned up her workspace and left the room, sighing in relief that it was finally the weekend and she could get started on her to-do list. The movers were meeting her at her apartment in one hour and then it would be two days of unpacking and convincing herself not to run home.

The subway was slow, crowded, hot, and humid, and by the time she got home all she wanted was dinner and a shower. Unfortunately the movers were already there. Frustrated at the timing, she stood at the front door and told them which rooms to put everything in, laughing as they teased each other and made the whole process seem a lot easier. It took two hours to get everything inside, and when the men offered to put her furniture in place, she couldn't really say no.

Finally she could sit, prop her feet up on the coffee table and close her eyes for five minutes. Except she had no coffee table; it had been sold months ago because she didn't think she'd find an apartment in New York City that was big enough for her to have a coffee table at all.

"This is not going the way I planned," she groaned, tipping her head back on the couch and closing her eyes, while reaching around for her phone. Once she found it she cracked on eye open to make sure she'd chosen the right contact, then hit the little green button that would connect her to someone that would be honest about the whole matter.

"Hello."

"Audrey am I a total moron?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Don't be cheeky."

"You're not a moron Lindsay. A little misguided possibly. Stubborn to a fault. Really hates to be wrong. But not a moron."

"Thanks."

"What's the matter?"

"I want to come home. Forget I ever did this."

"Is it really that bad?"

"It's not bad. It's actually pretty good. It's just scary. Being here alone, not having anyone to rely on. It's really screwing with me."

"Well, I'm just a phone call away. It's not the same as being just around the block of course but, there's nothing I can do about that now is there?"

"You know, you could move out here too. You'd love it."

"Says the girl who just told me how scary it was."

"It wouldn't be so scary if we were here together!"

"Lindsay you're a dork."

"I know. Hey thanks for tellin' me the truth."

"Absolutely. I have a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth."

Lindsay snorted a laugh and shook her head, missing her friend terribly, but not feeling quite so terrible in the moment.

"So when are your parents getting out there?"

"In the morning."

"You don't sound happy."

"You know how they are. They'll probably try to talk me into going back home. They'll say this isn't good enough and… I don't know."

"Call me if they drive you nuts."

"I will."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too. Come out here and visit."

"Maybe once you get all settled. Thanksgiving?"

"Yes. But let's not have the exploding cranberry sauce fiasco again."

"Deal."

"I need to start unpacking and get this place semi-livable or my parents are going to call the authorities when they get here."

"They love you."

"I know. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Night Linds."

They hung up and Lindsay sighed, staring at the phone for a moment before placing another call, this time to her mom.

"Hey sweetie."

"Hey mom. What's up?"

"Not much, just finishing packing for the trip tomorrow. Is it cold there yet?"

"No. A little breezy, but not cold. People here are lightweights though, they're all wearing coats and stuff. Like fifty degrees is freezing."

"My country girl."

"Speaking of which, can I talk to my kiddo?"

"She's asleep already. We put her to bed early so we didn't have to pry her out of it in the morning."

"Oh. Well could you… I know this sounds weird but could you go hold the phone up to her so I can hear her breathe? I miss her a lot."

"Sure sweetie."

"Has she been good?"

"She's always good, Lindsay. She can't wait to see you. Here she is, sleeping with her thumb half in her mouth."

Lindsay smiled and closed her eyes, listening to the gentle, sleepy breathing noises of her little girl, half the country away, sleeping under old quilts with her teddy bear tucked under her arm and her dark hair splayed over the pillow. She'd missed three weeks of nights like that and after tomorrow she would never have to miss another one.

Fall passed into winter. Days became shorter, nights were long and lonely. By Thanksgiving she still hadn't told anyone, and Audrey had become her daily support, always being there to listen or offer advice or make her laugh. It wasn't the same as having her family there for support though, and she knew that the time to tell them had arrived.

It was the day after Thanksgiving and she'd come home for the long weekend, enjoying the time with her nephews who seemed to be growing faster than was physically possible. It had been a nice quiet holiday and she didn't want to ruin it with her news, so she waited until the day after to tell her parents.

They were sitting on the couch when she came downstairs, reading magazines and oblivious to the news she was about to deliver.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked softly, her heart breaking at the smiles they gave her.

"Sure honey. What's going on?"

She wrung her hands as she paced, her breathing coming in short waves and her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

"I don't know how to tell you this. I know you're going to be disappointed in me and you're probably going to be mad. And you have every right to be and I wouldn't hold it against you. I'm really, really sorry for this."

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? Did you fail a class?"

"No. I wish that's all this was. I really do."

"You're scaring me."

"Mama… daddy… I'm pregnant."

They both just sat there silently, expressions not changing as they let the information sink it. She knew it hurt them, and she didn't know whether their silence was good or bad, but she continued to brace herself of what was to come.

"Lindsay…"

"Daddy, I'm sorry. I made a mistake, I was stupid and-"

"Lindsay I think maybe you should leave before any of us say things we don't mean."

"Daddy."

"We're going to need some time, sweetheart."

She nodded, moving across the room and taking her coat off the rack. She'd played this over in her head as a scenario and she was glad she'd thought to put her shoes on and get her purse ready. They didn't hate her, she was sure about that, but she also knew that this was hurting them a lot. They'd believed in her, pushed her to reach her goals, and now she was telling them that she'd thrown a gigantic roadblock right in the way.

She thought about driving back to her dorm, but it was late and dark and the roads were iced over and she didn't really feel like navigating her way back to a dark and cold dorm room. She started up the car, figuring she could drive into town and back, giving her parents enough time to deal with it all. She was halfway there when she realized that there was a very warm and safe place she could go. Grandma Jane's.

She turned the car in that direction, turning the radio up as she drove, feeling slightly better at the anticipation of being folded into her grandmother's arms and tucked into the old sleigh bed, just like when she was a little girl. She wasn't sure what she would say, but she was almost certain she wouldn't have to say a word.

She parked the car in the lot and made her way upstairs to the small apartment where her grandmother had always lived. Grandpa Gary had died before Lindsay was born and her grandmother had lived in this apartment ever since. It was warm and cozy and always smelled like apples and cinnamon. A place of comfort and safety, one that she desperately needed.

She knocked gently on the door and it swung open quickly.

"Gram."

"Oh honey. Come inside, it's freezing out there."

Lindsay stepped through the door and let out the breath she'd been holding.

"Your daddy called me, said you might end up here. Sit down, I'll bring you some coffee. Don't worry, I have decaf."

Lindsay lowered herself onto the couch, relieved that her dad had broken the news and she didn't have to. She didn't think she could bear to say the words again. She pulled her feet up underneath her and sighed deeply, one hand resting on her still flat stomach.

"Okay little one. Talk to grandma."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"No more of that, my darling. Look at my eyes Lindsay Jane. You have nothing to be sorry about. I don't want you to ever think that anyone is mad at you about this. So maybe things didn't go as planned. Tough cookies. You're bringing a child into this world, a child that is loved beyond measure. How it came to be is of little significance. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now, let's talk about your plans."

"I'm going to finish school. I have to. The baby is due in May, just after school gets out. I'll take my maternity leave and then go back to work. Audrey said she can watch the baby in the mornings while I work and then once school starts I can put the baby in daycare. I already know the school has some programs I can take advantage of to get free childcare. I'll go to class in the morning, work in the afternoon and evening and hopefully I'll have time to be a mom and everything else at night. I need to do a budget and figure out where to live, but I might be able to get Audrey to move in with me, at least for a little while. It's going to be hard, but I think I can make it."

"Can I help you?"

"Help me how?"

"You can live here."

"Gram… I can't do that to you."

"You can't come and keep me company and let me love on my great grandchild whenever I want?"

"It's too easy, Gram."

"Honey, you may be a mother now but that doesn't mean that you can't ask for help. Monroe's are proud, but we ain't stupid."

Lindsay smiled and rested her head on the older woman's shoulder, knowing that while her parents hadn't said it, they were thinking the same things. They would be there to help her, even if coming to terms with it was a struggle right now.

"Gram?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think I can do it? Be a mother all on my own?"

"I know you can. Because you already decided to do it."

"I'm scared, grammy."

"What are you scared of little one?"

"Everything. Raising a baby alone. That baby becoming a teenager. Bad things happening. What if I suck at being a mom? What if I don't know how to raise a kid and I mess up and this kid hates me or hates the world or something even worse?"

"Now you stop that. It's alright to be concerned and it's alright to be scared, but you don't need to work yourself up creating scenarios that aren't even likely to happen. Take a breath and listen to me honey. You can do this. The whole family will be there to help you. No one goes it alone."

"Thanks Gram."

"You want to stay here the night?"

"Yes please."

They got up from the couch and went into the spare bedroom where Jane threw back the covers.

"We'll talk more in the morning, little one. For now, get some sleep."

"Thanks Gram. I love you."

"I love you too."

The door closed behind her and Lindsay kicked her shoes off and dropped her jeans on the floor before crawling into bed. Her hand splayed out over her stomach and she breathed deeply for several minutes, picturing what the baby looked like. It was probably curled up, small enough to fit in the palm of her hand, with a head disproportionately large for the tiny body. Organs were already working and developing and though it wouldn't be apparent by ultrasound, it was already showing outward signs of being a boy or a girl.

"Everything is going to be okay, baby. Mommy will make sure. It's all going to be just fine."