"Hey, what's going on, you sounded terrible on the phone… Linds?"

She took a deep breath and wandered to the couch while Adam shut the door behind him and followed her. The phone call had been unexpected and from the tone of her voice, as if she wasn't really expecting the words that had tumbled out. Now she looked frazzled for lack of a better word, and her hands were trembling.

"What's wrong?"

"I got a letter from Josh," she started, rushed.

"Levi's dad? Where did that come from?"

"He says he's taking me to court. He wants partial custody."

"What?!"

He shouted much louder than he intended to, jumping up from the couch and beginning to pace the room.

"He's never contacted you before has he?"

"No."

"What is he thinking?"

"I don't know. He says there are papers coming next week from his lawyer. I never saw this coming. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think he would do something like this."

"What are we doing to do?"

"I don't know," she sniffled, shaking her head and glancing up at him. "But thanks for the 'we.'"

He sat down again and pulled her into his arms, letting her bury herself against him and let out the tears of frustration and fear that had been burning behind her eyes for the last few hours. He'd never seen her like this before. She always managed to hold things in and deal with them almost without emotion. He supposed that when it came to her daughter, there was no pretending that she was okay.

"It's going to be alright," he assured, pulling her into his lap and leaning back on the couch so she was comfortable. "We'll figure it out. We'll get you a lawyer too. Josh has nothing, okay? He abandoned her, he never tried to be in her life. They're never going to let him have custody of her. Not visitation, nothing. Okay?"

"It scares me."

"Scares me too. I'm going to do whatever I can to make this all okay."

"What if they give him something? What if he gets her on holidays or something? I can't go back there all the time and it's not good for her either. I don't even know who he is, Adam. I have no idea if he'd be a good influence on her or not. I don't know if he's doing this to spite me or because he suddenly realized her wanted to be a father or if there's some other reason I haven't even started to think about. This isn't good. It isn't good at all."

He stayed quiet, half of his mind concerned with sorting out some answers for her, and the other half wondering how in the world he had let himself become so emotionally invested in her and Levi in such a short amount of time. He'd never found himself attached to much of anyone, save for a few choice family members. It wasn't that he was cold, but he had carefully constructed barriers around himself and everyone else for years, hoping that he would never have to reveal the extent of the damage that his parents lack of love had done to him. Somehow though, with Lindsay and Levi, things were different. Things were safe, he didn't worry about Lindsay using things against him or picking at old wounds or that she would knock down the barriers unless he let her. Was that why the thought of a custody battle was making him so angry? Was it just a primal protection that he was feeling or had he grown closer to them than he was willing to admit?

"I'm sorry Adam, I didn't mean to unload on you like this."

"It's okay."

"I didn't have anyone else to talk to. I just… you're the only person I could think of."

"Thanks?"

"No, I just mean I don't really think I could tell anyone else. Maybe I shouldn't-"

"Hey, no feeling bad about this. I'm glad you told me, okay? Let me be here for you and we'll figure it out and come up with a game plan."

"Thank you."

She wiped at her eyes and slid off his lap but kept leaning against him, simply because he felt so warm and solid and good that she didn't want to put too much distance between them. She needed him to keep her locked in to reality rather than all the what-ifs that were currently fighting for top position in her mind.

"What exactly happened between you and him? I mean, the last time you really had a conversation."

"A real conversation? A few weeks after I told him I was pregnant. I cornered him in his dorm and showed him the ultrasound pictures. I thought maybe it would change his mind. We fought. He told me that I should give the baby up for adoption because he didn't want to have anything to do with it and he didn't want me coming after him for child support. I promised him I wouldn't but I was keeping the baby and he told me never to talk to him again."

"Did you?"

"Yeah. I called him when she was born to let him know and then I called him on her birthday every year to give him a chance to… it was probably stupid but in the back of my mind I was certain that he would eventually come around."

"Knowing all you know about him, what do you think his motivation is?"

She sighed and played with the loose thread on the throw pillow before speaking.

"My first thought was that he has a serious girlfriend and he wants an "insta-family" or something. If that's the case, if he's just using her I don't want to cooperate at all. If he's had a change of heart and actually wants to be in her life, that's different. But it will take a lot of convincing to get me to believe that."

Adam sighed gently and put his feet up on the coffee table, trying to understand the mind of a man who would abandon his child then suddenly be upset that he wasn't a father.

"How old was he when you got pregnant?"

"Twenty. I understand that he was young and not ready to settle down, but neither was I. He didn't carry the baby so he was able to just ignore it. Sometimes I do wonder if there was something going on with him that I didn't know about. He was the perfect boyfriend before all this. We didn't have a lot of time together but he was nice and charming and smart and everything a college aged guy could be asked to be. And then as soon as I said I was pregnant, he totally changed. It was almost like it flicked a switch in him that turned him into an angry, irresponsible, hateful person."

"Drugs maybe?"

"I don't know. We didn't have very many friends in common and the ones we did have were more apt to take my side than his, so if he was doing them it was with other people."

"Are you going to ask for drug testing?"

"Yeah. I figure if he's going to ask for a DNA test, I can ask for a drug test."

"He's asking for a DNA test?"

"Yeah, he mentioned that in the letter too. He said he has reason to doubt that she is his child and he would like it on legal documents for future reference."

"He means he wants to write her off on his taxes."

"Exactly."

"That's low."

"I know. I don't think that he realizes that by doing this, he's going to have to pay child support every month. He can't honestly think he's going to get full custody of her, can he?"

"If he does then he has a really crappy lawyer."

"That's true."

"Speaking of a lawyer, do you know of any you could hire?"

"Maybe. I just don't know what I can even afford at this point. I think that's an obstacle for tomorrow though."

"Yeah, you should pace yourself."

She chuckled a little and he gave her a squeeze, hoping that the initial fright had worn off to the point where she could think rationally again.

"Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"You're not a mess."

"I feel messy."

"I think you just need some ice-cream."

"Now you're speaking my language."

"So it looks like we're going to be making a Montana trip in a couple months," Lindsay finished, popping her toes against the kitchen floor and moving her phone to the other ear.

"I'll be happy to see you but this wasn't exactly the circumstance I thought it would happen under."

"Me neither. I hate this, mom."

"What did the lawyer tell you?"

"She said that because he has never tried to contact us, this is considered abandonment and legally he has no rights to Levi. However because he said he's questioned paternity, he can petition for the test and then claim that because he wasn't sure, he wasn't abandoning a child he thought was his. She says the judge will still take into account that he's spent her entire life ignoring the fact that she exists and he never tried to find out if she was his or not, but they have to hear his side of things and give him the benefit of the doubt."

"That doesn't quite feel fair."

"I don't think it is either, but legally that's where we're at."

"Have you told Levi yet?"

"No. I don't want to scare her and I haven't really figured out how to say it. I'm working on it though."

"You're brave sweetie."

"I'm faking it. In reality I'm kind of falling apart."

"Any ideas of what kind of visitation they might give him?"

"I don't know. I don't want her to be flying all over the country every month but I don't really think that's likely anyway. I would assume that they might give him phone calls occasionally and work up to something more."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'd be okay with it as long as I could control when it was and how long and if I could listen in to the phone calls too. I just worry that this is all about him being vindictive towards me and I'm afraid he's going to use her as a weapon. I don't want her to go through that."

"I don't either. What's she up to right now by the way?"

"Homework."

"Kindergarten and she has homework?"

"Her teacher sends home worksheets that they can do when they're struggling with something. She's not so stellar at math."

"I see. Well, is there anything dad and I can do for you?"

"I don't think so. I'll let you know when I know more."

"I'll tell your brothers for you."

"Thanks mom."

"Go give our girl an extra hug and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I love you mom."

"I love you too Lindsay."

She hung up the phone and leaned against the kitchen counter, reaching over for the letter that Josh had sent. She'd read it several times now and it never seemed to get better. She hated the way it sounded, so confrontational and demanding. It wasn't like he was coming at this from a place of compromise, or even acknowledging that Lindsay herself really had all the say in this. It was the same way he'd reacted about the pregnancy, telling her what she would and wouldn't do, then coming nearly unglued when she defied him. She'd been thinking about it all night, wondering what had happened, what had made him turn so bitter so fast. Maybe it was drugs, though she really couldn't believe that. Maybe he was a control freak and couldn't handle the fact that he didn't get a choice, didn't get to direct his life completely anymore.

Whatever it was, thinking and speculating wasn't making her feel any better.

"Mama, can you please help me?" Levi shouted from the other room. "It's horrible!"

"Okay, I'm coming."

The coffee table was littered with pencil eraser dust and crumpled papers and Lindsay suddenly saw several years into the future, helping Levi with her homework, which had suddenly become much more complicated. She shuddered at the thought that it may always be a struggle, and sat down next to her frustrated daughter.

"My teacher says we need to do take-aways without using our fingers. I sat on my hands and I just can't count without my fingers!"

"Alright sweetie, let's see what we can do."

"Do you know how to do take-aways mama? You don't look like you know how."

Lindsay chuckled softly.

"I know how to do take-aways, baby. Why don't we work this problem together and you can show me where you get stuck."

"That's like our life!" Levi said, her eyes shining. "We do stuff together and help each other when we get stuck! Like when you're having a bad day I make you laugh and when you're tired I make you coffee, or when I am sad you give me lots of hugs and kisses and when I am so hyper you talk soft and help me to be quiet."

"Can we be like that even when you grow up and I'm and old lady with gray hair and a cane?"

"Yes! I will come brush your hair, like in that song."

Lindsay laughed and pulled Levi into her arms, the homework forgotten.

"Sweetie, I want you to know that no one in this world could ever love you more than I do, and I will always, always love you."

"Oh I know, mama! I can't wait to be an old lady with you! We will have a lot of fun."

"But not too soon. I like you just as you are now."

"Okay. I like you too."

"Ready to do some take-aways?"

"Mm-hmm. Did you know that caterpillars make theirselves cocoons and that's how they become butterflies? I though they just appeared!"

"Yeah, I knew."

"It's called metamorphosis. We learned a song in school, can I sing it to you?"

"After we do some take-aways. Let's do ten and then you can sing the song."

"Okay. Thanks for making a deal mama. You know how I need deals."

"Yes I do."

"And could I play with some makeup tonight?"

"Not tonight, it's too late. But I'll let you wear some to school tomorrow."

"Oh mama you're the best!"

"I try my hardest."

"I love you just so very much! I would like to be with you forever."

"I would love that, sweetie."

The words brought a smile to her fact but a sucker-punch to her stomach and she redirected her daughter to the paper on the table, pointing at the first problem so she could hide the look on her face. She didn't want to think about breaking the news to Levi just yet. It was way too hard to know how to say it to people who understood the situation, but how was she to break the news that their whole lives could change again?