A/N: This was actually one of the very first chapters I started over two years ago when this story was just a speck of an idea.

"Hey, I didn't think I was going to hear from you today."

"Well no but-"

"You said you were going to have a girls day and I wasn't allowed because I didn't have the right chromosomes."

"Well I did but-"

"You said I couldn't even bring you dinner tonight."

"Adam."

"Yeah?"

"We got in a car accident."

His teasing immediately went away and he stood up from his chair, nearly frantic.

"How bad? Are you okay? How's Levi? Where are you right now?"

"We're okay. Our cab got T-boned by a motorcycle. I'm fine, Levi's wrist is swollen and they gave her a soft brace to wear for a few days. We're still at the hospital. I was wondering if you could come and get us."

"Yeah, I'm just about to leave work anyway."

"Okay. Do you still have my spare key?"

"No, I gave it to a homeless guy."

"I can't joke right now."

"Yeah, I have the key. What do you need me to do?"

"My extra car key is in the junk drawer. Could you just drive down and get us?"

"I'll be there. Sit tight."

He hung up the phone and finished clocking out glad for once that he'd been scheduled for the early morning shift and was able to leave by lunchtime. He wondered if they'd eaten already, knew from experience with injuries that Levi would probably have pain relievers to take and it would be easier with food, but eventually he reminded himself that he needed to get to them before he worried about too much else.

Once he got to the hospital it took him almost twenty minutes to find them, despite following the right signs for the ER waiting room. He spotted them in the corner of the room, Levi sleeping deeply and Lindsay staring out the window, nothing in the room seeming to phase her. He crossed to them and crouched down in front of her smiling when she registered that he was there.

"You doin' alright?"

"Yeah," she answered softly, twisting a strand of Levi's hair around her finger. "Thanks for coming all the way up here."

"Any time. Am I taking you straight home?"

"We need to stop at the pharmacy."

"Okay. Want me to carry her?"

"Sure."

He lifted Levi easily into his arms and she sighed sleepily, rubbing her nose against his shoulder and muttering something before settling into sleep again.

"Want to get some ice-cream at the pharmacy too?" Adam asked softly, sliding his free arm around Lindsay's shoulder and ignoring the voice in his head that kept trying to distract him with thoughts of a nice little family picture.

"Maybe."

"You sure you're okay?"

She nodded but leaned into him, making it clear, at least to him, that she wasn't okay but she wasn't ready to talk about it either. He'd gotten used to some of her non-verbal cues over the last few months and it wasn't hard for him to decode some of the ones he didn't already know.

"To the store we go then."

She was quiet all the way out to the car, letting him drive and constantly turning around to check on her daughter. Nervous wasn't really the word best used to describe her right now and while paranoid seemed better as far as her actions, it didn't fit within the context.

"What are you thinking about, lady?" he asked, reaching over to squeeze her hand.

"A lot of stuff. She was really scared in there today. They had to check her over for spinal injuries and stuff and she wouldn't stop screaming. Finally they figured out how to calm her down enough and then they went to put the blood pressure cuff on her and she freaked out. It was like she was possessed or something. She was wailing like mad, kicking and trying to bite people. They couldn't sedate her because they weren't sure if she had a concussion or not but they wouldn't listen to me when I tried to explain why she was acting like that. She kept looking at me with this horrible expression, like she couldn't believe I wasn't helping her. I just wanted to pick her up and run out of there but I couldn't. All she needed was some space. She hates things being too tight on her and she didn't like the blood pressure cuff because it was tight and scratchy and she just can't verbalize when things like that aren't comfortable and that's okay because I get it but other people don't. Other people think she's defiant or spoiled or that she has a developmental hurdle that I'm ignoring or any number of things. And I didn't realize until now how often her little things come into play. So I'm wondering if I'm doing it right and I'm afraid that everything I do is completely wrong. I'm afraid that it will all get worse instead of better. And this is a horrible time to be second guessing myself. I'm worried that everyone will see it in my face, that I doubt myself as a mother and that's going to work against me. Maybe she does need her father in her life. Maybe I haven't been the best mother to her because I've had to be both and I've shortchanged her."

"Lindsay, you know that's not true."

"I know. But that doesn't mean I'm not still questioning it."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay. You know where to find me if you change your mind."

"Thanks."

"I don't want this on!" Levi whimpered sleepily, picking at the Velcro on her wrist brace. "It is so, so itchy."

"I know it is honey but you have to keep it on for a few days."

"It's frustrating."

"I'm sorry."

Levi grunted her disapproval and stomped out of the room, finding refuge in the kitchen with Adam who was putting away the dinner dishes. He scooped her up and she rested against his shoulder while he rubbed her back.

"I don't want to go to bed with this on," she started, rubbing her eyes. "I am not tired. I want to just go to Montana right now, not in the morning."

"I bet you do. If you go to sleep, your trip will come faster though."

"I want you to come with us. I will show you all my favorite things there."

"Maybe someday."

"Okay. Could you rock me in the chair for a little bit? My medicine makes me feel funny."

"You don't want your mama to rock you?"

"She does it all the time. I want you to."

He agreed and they went back to the front room where Lindsay was looking frazzled and trying to pack. There were clothes everywhere and two suitcases open on the couch, neither one of them looking nearly ready to go.

"Mama, Adam is going to rock me," Levi said with a yawn. "So you don't have to."

"What if I wanted to?"

"Well then who would pack our clothes?"

Lindsay gave a half smile and watched out of the corner of her eye as Adam sat down in the rocking chair settling a blanket around Levi and rocking gently back and forth. Adam had always been good with Levi, tender and patient with the ability to make her feel like she was important not only to him, but as a person in her own right. But Lindsay had never seen him take care of her like this, fulfilling the basic need of comfort just because she'd asked. She couldn't pinpoint her exact feelings on it but she was sure they were good.

"You okay?" he asked softly, once Levi was sleeping.

"Overwhelmed," Lindsay admitted, dropping a pair of jeans into Levi's suitcase and sitting down on the coffee table. "I'm not ready to go out there."

"Let's go for a drive."

"What?"

"Driving with no destination can cure everything that ails you. Except motion sickness. Come on, we'll tuck her in the back seat and go."

"That sounds really good."

"Of course it does. C'mon, let's get out of here."

She smiled and grabbed her keys and phone before following him out the door. They ended up moving Levi's carseat into his Jeep, as he was going to take them to the airport in the morning anyway. She stirred a little when they buckled her in but settled back into her deep sleep fairly easily, her thumb sliding into her mouth.

"So, north, south, or west?"

"What?"

"Which way should I drive?"

"Oh. I don't know. North I think. West and we'll hit Jersey."

"This is true. Self preservation and all. North it is."

She sat back in the seat and put her feet on the dashboard, both of them silent for a while until they got out of the city.

"Thank you for this, Adam."

"You're welcome."

She reached across the console for his hand, squeezing it gently, feeling suddenly that all that mattered in the world was right here in this car. It took the breath out of her lungs to think like that but at the same time it felt so safe.

"Talk to me Linds. What's worrying you the most right now?"

"At this very moment? I'm thinking about packing."

He chuckled quietly, eyes flicking up to the rearview mirror briefly to check that Levi was still asleep.

"And after you think about that?"

"I'm getting really nervous about this hearing. I want whatever is best for Levi. I'm just afraid that what I know is best and what some judge is going to decide aren't going to be the same thing. I'm trying to be rational about it all but sometimes I just let my mind run in all kinds of crazy directions."

"I've noticed."

"You're ridiculously patient with me. You must be a saint."

"I'm not a saint, I'm just an awesome friend."

"That you are."

They fell into silence again and drove for almost an hour before he stopped the car at a rest stop.

"What are we doing here?"

"I want to tell you something."

She was confused but got out of the car anyway, watching as he climbed up onto the hood of the Jeep, then held his hand out for her. She took it and settled in next to him, leaning against the windshield and staring up at the stars. He remained quiet for a while until curiosity got the better of her and she turned to look at him.

"So what did you want to tell me?"

"Can I be honest?"

"Please."

"This is going somewhere isn't it? You and me?"

"I think it might be."

"Do you want it to?"

"Eventually, yes. I'm not ready right now and to be perfectly honest it kind of scares me to think about but it's something I do want. Are you thinking along the same lines?"

He nodded slowly, not looking in her direction. Clearly he had something on his mind in addition to this frank conversation.

"Linds, there are some things you need to know about me."

"Okay."

"I'm not a good guy," he started, not looking at her because if he did he knew he would never spit everything out. "I'm working on it, but it's not really who I am."

"What do you mean?"

He wasn't sure if he should start in the middle or at the beginning and he was quiet for a moment, running things over in his mind and trying to remember what she already knew.

"I almost got married once," he said finally. Her reaction was silence, which was surprising; he'd been expecting at least a gasp of surprise.

"When?"

"College. We were too young to get married anyway so it's good that we didn't."

"What happened?"

"I wasn't a nice guy back then. I was rude, pessimistic, prone to anger… I wasn't a fun person to be around. She loved me anyway but it wore on her. I don't think I really realized what I was like until she called me out on it, and even then it took me a long time to figure out that I needed to change."

"So she ended things with you?"

"Yeah. I can't blame her though. And if she hadn't, I never would have changed. I needed that kick in the butt."

"Why were you so angry?" she asked after a moment, turning to face him as best as she could.

"I told you about how I grew up. The abuse was more verbal and emotional than physical but it still did a lot of damage."

"I'm sure it did."

Not another word was breathed between them for several minutes until he cleared his throat, as if lifting a huge burden. His voice was shaky and for some reason she felt herself blinking back tears, sensing that whatever he was about to say was heavier than either of them were prepared to deal with.

"I had a sister. Two years younger than me. When she was four she woke up really early one morning and went to play outside. She was hit by a car. Died instantly. When they told me, all I could think was that it was a lie. I knew she was gone, but I didn't believe how it happened. I was absolutely certain that my dad had hit her, he'd gone too far. I believed that for years, until I was a teenager and I found the police report in the old newspaper in the library. I didn't know for a long time how much that damaged me. I'm sure there's a lot of psychological stuff involved with it but the way I grew up had a lot to do with the man I became. There's times that I wonder what would have happened if Hope had lived. I wonder if my parents would have eventually figured out how to love us or if life would have continued on the same way. But I can't think like that. I can't constantly blame what happened to her, and how they treated me for the choices I make as an adult."

He didn't realize how tightly they'd been gripping each other's hands until he stopped talking to take a breath and felt her eyes on him, holding him in a tight gaze.

"Once I moved to New York it got easier. Away from that environment I began to really see who I was. Spent a lot of time with Gabby, she was just a baby then. Being with her was like finally finding out that there are good things in life. I didn't feel angry anymore. And you and Levi have helped with that more than you know. You two have made me so much better than I was. When you call me because you want to talk or you need help, it makes me feel like I'm doing something right. Like I'm not that miserable guy I was before because someone wants me there."

"I'll always want you there Adam."

He nodded and turned to face her surprised that after the heavy conversation there was still a light in her eyes. Thinking back, he couldn't remember a time when that light was ever completely gone. Even on the most horrible days, it had always been there.

He didn't meant to do it, he didn't plan it, and he didn't have an explanation for it afterwards, but he leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, only hoping it was the right move at the time.

She didn't pull away but the kiss was so quick that she didn't have much time to reciprocate either and a moment later he wondered if it had been the wrong thing to do. But that light was still in her eyes, her hand was still in his and he knew that while neither one of them were quite ready for that next step yet, the kiss hadn't been misplaced. They were quiet for a moment until she dropped her gaze from his somewhat shyly.

"Haven't done that in a long time," she confessed after a moment. "Was it terrible?"

He laughed and shook his head, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Not terrible."

"I guess someday we'll do that again then?"

"Yeah. In time."

She sighed and stared up at the sky for a while, fully aware of how late it was getting and how early they needed to be at the airport in the morning.

"We should probably go."

"Good idea."

"Thank you for telling me all that stuff, Adam."

"Thanks for listening."

She smiled and they slid off the hood, getting back into the car and both turning to check on Levi. She was sleeping soundly in her carseat, arm propped up on a stuffed animal.

"Poor baby. This isn't going to be an easy week for her."

"Not for you either."

"Yeah but I'm more concerned about her."

Adam rolled the words over in his head for a moment, starting the car and getting back on the road before he said anything.

"You need to have someone concerned about you."

"I'm fine."

"Can't I be concerned about you?"

"You really want to take on that burden, Atlas?"

"Stop."

"You don't have to worry about me."

"Even if I don't have to I'm going to anyway."

"Well alright then."

She grinned at him and they fell into silence for most of the drive back, making little comments here and there but mostly lost in their own worlds.

"Want me to carry her up?" Adam asked, once they'd parked.

"Sure, thanks. She's getting almost too big for me."

Adam got Levi out of the car, being careful of her arm and making sure to get her settled before he moved so she wouldn't wake up. He finally got her upstairs and tucked into bed, making sure her arm was elevated.

"Think she'll be okay like that?"

"I think so. Thanks Adam."

They tiptoed out of the room and he pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head.

"You're allowed to say no. But I think I'm going to go out there to be with you at the hearing."

"Adam, I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking me to. I'm just doing it."

"Okay but that's a lot of money and time and it's not a little thing Adam."

"I know. I've been thinking about it for weeks. If you don't want me there or if it won't help you at all then I won't go. But if it will help you, then I want to be there."

It took her a long time to answer and she stood there weighing her pride against her needs.

"When would you fly out?"

"Thursday after work. Fly back with you Monday morning."

"Can you afford to do that?"

"Yes."

"Will Mac let you take the days off?"

"I asked him last week."

"You've really thought about this."

"I have. It's up to you though."

She sighed, wondering why her stomach was suddenly so nervous.

"I want you there."

"Then there I will be. As long as I can get a vaccine against Redneckitis."

"Shut up."

He smiled and hugged her tightly, glad she was letting him do this.

"I'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you Adam."

"Any time. Goodnight Linds."

"Goodnight."