So you all will now find out some questions you've been dying to know.

And you all know that Jace isn't a shitty person now :) He's a good dad, just conflicted as someone said in a review. Hopefully, some of you have read The Infernal Devices to understand some of this, especially the part with Emily's mom, but if you haven't it isn't that big of a deal.

So, here you go!

"Can't she come, Uncle Henry?" Emily begged for the tenth time as the group walked through emptying halls of the stadium. Her hand was in Henry's to keep her safe, but Clary thought that with her attitude, she could take care of herself. "I want to go see Daddy and I don't want to go alone."

"I always go with you," Henry said.

"But I want Clary to go."

"Why?"

"I think Daddy will like her." She turned and smiled at Clary, who was walking behind the two adults and the child with Magnus at her side. "Actually, I know it."

Clary cleared her throat. "I actually have a few things to do so–"

"No you don't. I cleared your calendar," Magnus said with a smirk on his lips. Clary turned to glare at him, but he shrugged it off. "It'll be a nice surprise for him," he said when he dropped his voice.

Clary was suddenly bombarded when Emily's body collided onto hers, hugging her around the waist. She froze and gripped the little girl to keep from falling over, hearing her pleas of "You don't have anything else to do" and "I want you to come" and "He'll love you".

It took everything to could to bit back the vile coming up in Clary's throat. Seeing Jace now didn't give her enough time to mentally prepare for it. She was barely getting over the fact that she just spent the last two hours with his daughter, and now she was going to see him? That was too much to handle.

She glanced down and saw Emily giving her puppy dog eyes with her golden irises shining. "Please?"

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Maybe another time," Charlotte said, grabbing Emily's hand and pulling her away from Clary.

The girl was reluctant to leave. "But I want Clary to come!"

"She'll see Jace another time," Charlotte repeated sternly.

"Like tonight? Oh please can she come tonight!? Please, please, please!"

Clary looked up at Henry. "What's tonight?"

He sighed and rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Um, it's Emily's birthday. I forgot to mention that earlier."

"You can't really say no," Magnus said quietly. It was just low enough for Clary to hear and no one else. He was doing that a lot lately.

But she had a feeling he was right. Emily was just like her father, and Clary had plenty of experience with that. Even if she didn't want to go, this little girl was going to find a way to get Clary there, regardless of how reluctant Clary wanted to actually go. That was the scary thing.

"You don't have to," Henry emphasized. "She has plenty of people coming that she won't even notice everyone that's there."

Clary took a deep breath and shrugged casually. Maybe if she went and saw Jace, she'd be able to get over this whole heartbreak thing. And besides, she didn't have to talk to him. She could avoid him the whole time.

"Okay," Clary said as happily as she could. It didn't sound that way. "I'll be there."

Emily squealed so loud that they all had to cover their ears.

"Are you sure about this?" Magnus asked for the tenth time in the back of the limo.

Clary shrugged and continued to stare out the window. "No."

"It's just… from what you told me today it seems like you've had pretty strong feelings for this guy. And your plan to just avoid him is only going to go so far until he drags you away to talk to you."

Clary rolled her eyes. "I doubt he's going to do that. He has a daughter to focus on." She didn't mean for it to sound so harsh, but that's how it came out. Like she hated the idea. Maybe she did at one time, but meeting Emily gave her a different outlook on the idea.

It didn't make it more plausible between her and Jace though.

Magnus sighed. "I'm all for the whole 'let's be spontaneous and rekindle the love' but I'm not sure that this is the best way for you to do it, Clary."

She didn't either. But one thing was for sure: "I'm not trying to rekindle anything. I'm trying to avoid that."

"By going to his daughter's birthday party?"

She dropped her face to her hands. "I don't know, Magnus. I don't know what I'm doing. And Isabelle and Simon would freak out if they knew about this. They'd want to know why, but I don't even know why I'm doing it. I just... I said yes without thinking about it. I just wanted to see him so I could prove to myself that I was over him but now I'm nervous and I don't know what I'm going to do so I'm just going to try to avoid him. Okay?"

"Good to know that you've got a firm grasp on everything."

"Shut up," she mumbled in to her hands. "You're sass isn't going to help my situation."

"Well, we're here, so good luck."

Her eyes drifted back out the window and they widened when she realized where they were. And how crowded the place was.

It was a simple farm house outside of the city. It was as crowded as she should've expected. There were probably at least fifty people, maybe more. Some of the children were riding horses across the fields in a path that was fenced off towards the woods. Adults led them through expertly. There were also a group of five or six boys playing with a soccer ball and cones for goals. Bouncy houses were everywhere. Meanwhile, the adults seemed to be hanging out on the front porch of the small, white house, drinking what looked to be beer and fruit drinks.

Leave it to the British to casually drink at a child's birthday party.

"Here we are," the driver announced as he pulled up to the edge of the circle drive.

Clary took a deep breath and moved to get out of the car when Magnus caught her hand. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?"

She tried to smile but failed. "No promises."

Her eyes followed the limo as it took Magnus with it, heading back down the long, dirt driveway. She wasn't sure what to do now. Henry and Charlotte were nowhere to be found, and she'd have to search to find them. But that risked her seeing Jace. She wasn't exactly positive about that yes. In fact, she just wanted to see Emily and find an empty room. But what if that room had Jace? That would be her luck.

She decided the best route to take was to find a drink. She needed it bad.

So she headed up the stairs, bumping into a few unknown strangers before making her way inside. And she stepped in just to freeze at the sound of a voice.

"I get what you're saying but what you're asking for isn't easy. It complicates everything."

Jace. That was him. Clary slowly stepped inside against her better judgment, gently closing the screen door behind her.

"No! I'm here for Emily and the game, not anything else. No matter what you're assumptions are. We've already talked about this. I don't want to go through this again."

She followed the sound of his voice through the quiet house. No one was inside. Apparently, everyone was designated to the outer sector, which Clary was both grateful for and worried about. Because just his voice brought back memories.

"You can't use that against me," he growled. "Emily is my life, and you know that nothing will ever change that. If I let something change it, I'd be no better than my own shitty mother and father."

She stopped at the doorway to the kitchen, took a quiet breath, and peered around the side.

Jace stood with a side profile to her. His uniform was gone, replaced with black jeans that hugged his leg muscles and a white V-neck. His body looked more filled out, which she didn't think was even possible. His muscles were slightly bigger. Not much, but enough to be noticed. And his hair was short. Really short. He seemed to have cut it off to the point it just looked like half-inch waves instead of the curls that used to cover his neck and ears. The front was still slightly long and ruffled, like he'd been running his hands through it over and over again.

He looked so… different. Older. Stronger.

Nothing like he used to but somehow still familiar.

"I know I never explained it, but just trust me," he sighed. She noticed the phone that was held to his ear as he leaned against his elbow on the counter. He looked distressed. "I can't do that to Emily. I know what it's like. She's strong, but not that strong. For someone of her age, she has enough to go through already. Her condition doesn't need any more added stress."

Clary swallowed and knew that she should turn around and walk away, but she couldn't.

Finally, Jace dropped his head and took a deep breath. "I'll be home in about a week and a half. We have another game later this week against Chelsea, and I'll be heading back a few days after that. I want to spend some time with Emily." He paused and smiled slightly, nodding his head. "Yeah, I'll see you soon." He paused again and rolled his eyes. "Love you too."

And the way he said it made her heart break. It wasn't full of emotion, but some was still there. It was playful almost. That was something that he didn't show to anyone but her, right? He only let her in, and yet he just openly said it to someone else. It wasn't his father. It wasn't his mother. Henry and Charlotte were here. Who else could it be but a girlfriend?

That idea alone was the only thing that made her find the strength to turn and walk out of the house.

She practically ran down the steps to get away from her own emotions when she heard a squeal.

"Clary!"

She turned just as Emily jumped and launched herself into Clary's arms. The redhead staggered back slightly. Just because Emily was small didn't mean she couldn't knock Clary off her feet. She was just as small in general.

"You made it," Emily said with a bright smile. She wrapped her arms around Clary's neck who held her on her hip tightly, mainly in a fear so she wouldn't fall and hurt herself. The younger blonde pulled back with a bright smile. "I knew you would. I knew I could count on you."

There was something extra in those words that Clary didn't recognize, but she pushed it away. "Um, thanks. Happy Birthday. I'm sorry I didn't get you present–"

"I have enough," she said brightly with a laugh. "Daddy and Uncle Henry made sure of that. I'm happy you made it and that's a great present to me!"

"Really?"

"Duh," she said with sass that made Clary smile. "And I wanted to see you some more."

Clary swallowed. "Um, why?"

"Uncle Henry told me you draw. I wanted you to draw me a picture."

"You brought me here to ask me for a drawing?" she asked. Emily nodded frantically. "What kind?"

"Of me and Daddy," she answered. "You can make that my present. It'll be a gift to both of us."

Clary's heart clenched at that idea. She secretly drew and painted Jace, but she refused to make it obvious to everyone else. It wasn't like she could help it. He showed up in the hidden parts of her paintings, adding gold and arrogance to her art.

This wasn't going to be easy. "Do you have the picture you want me to recreate?"

Emily bit her lip and nodded. "It's of me and my dad, but–"

"Emily?" Jace stepped out of the house, shoving his phone in his pocket as he looked around for his daughter. "Sweetheart?"

"I'm here Daddy!" she yelled, waving like an idiot from the distance. Clary staggered a bit at her frantic movements.

He turned with a smile before he saw Clary. They both had the same reaction. Open mouth. Frozen stare. Confused expression. And no clue how to actually communicate.

Emily waved him over frantically, smiling the whole time. Clary watched as he walked towards them, but the guard was up. That was the guard that she'd seen before he let her in. He blocked all the emotion from getting out. She felt like she was looking at a new, less-improved and more hurtful Jace than she had seen before.

"Daddy," Emily said when he slowly approached. "This is Clary. My new best friend."

She watched as Jace swallowed and nodded, stopping a few feet away from them with his hands shoved in his pants pockets. "Um, best friend?"

"As of today," Emily beamed. "I met her at your game. It was actually funny. She fainted when your name was called, which I still giggle at. I thought you joked about girls falling at your feet, but it's true." She giggled a bit to herself. "She stayed with me the whole time. And she is nice. And pretty. And kind. And I like her."

Clary looked down when she realized what Emily was saying.

"Fainted huh?" Jace said, obviously amused. She looked up at him with anger in her eyes which he instantly noticed. His profile faltered, but he kept up the look easily enough. "I'm hoping someone caught her."

"Uncle Henry did! He's likes Clary too. So does Aunt Charlotte. So I wanted her to come and meet you because I know you will like her too."

Jace's gaze flicked to Clary's. "You think?"

"I know," Emily smiled.

Clary slowly lowered Emily back to the ground after that, not sure she had the strength to hold up the girl anymore. Her body was reacting to Jace's gaze more than she wanted it to. It was fighting her. All it wanted was for her to run into his arms like she did when she saw him over Christmas break, but her mind knew that it wasn't a good idea.

Emily hit the ground running and bolted over to Jace, who pulled her up into his arms instantly. She kissed his cheek lightly. "I wanted her to do a painting or a drawing of us."

"Really?"

"You remember the picture of you and me that we took at Christmas?"

He nodded. "Of course I do. I remember everything."

"I wanted her to try to fit Mommy in there too!" she said cheerfully. "Right next to you and me. I think it'll look good! And I wanted to have something to remember her by and-"

"Okay, honey, that's a good idea," Jace said warily, glancing at Clary. "How about you go find Julian and Emma and I'll come get you in a while. I want to talk to Clary. Alone."

She pouted but nodded and let him put her down. With a smile and a wave, she took off running towards the bouncy houses, but Clary was too focused on something else to watch her go.

Jace slowly stepped towards her once, twice, and then stopped himself like he thought better of it. "I honestly don't know what to do," he admitted, looking at the ground.

She wanted to do the same, but she couldn't tear her gaze away from him. "She's gorgeous."

He smiled and nodded, turning to look at Emily momentarily. "She is."

"Why didn't you ever tell me about her?"

He ran a hand through his shorter hair, just like she thought he did earlier. "Can we talk without so many prying eyes?"

With a nod, she began to follow him towards the house. He smiled, shook hands, and waved at a few people, but she could see that his mind was elsewhere. She was completely elsewhere, that's for sure. Everyone else pretty much faded away.

They moved through the empty house quickly. It was almost like Jace was trying to walk so fast that she couldn't keep up, but they eventually made their way up to the second floor and she found herself in what looked to be a bed room. A little girl's room.

"This is Emily's room," Clary said, gazing around at the purple and blues that decorated the space. "Isn't it?"

Jace nodded, touching the bedspread softly before sitting down on the tiny mattress. "It is."

"Interesting taste for a child."

He leaned forward and locked his hands together. "You might want to sit down."

She was hesitant. There wasn't much in the room, and the only seat was beside Jace. She gazed at the spot before meeting his eyes again.

He smiled shyly when he looked up, something he didn't do often. "I don't bite."

Instead of retorting and bantering, she just did as he asked and sat down.

"Where do I start?" he asked rhetorically.

Clary bit her lip and pulled her legs up to her chest like a child. "What happened to Emily's mother?" That was a good of a start as any.

Jace tensed and nodded slowly. "I, um, well… you know that Emily just turned four, right?" Clary nodded. "Well, that means I would've had her when I was sixteen."

"I can do the math, thank you very much."

Jace gave her a look but didn't respond to her attitude and continued. "Her mother was just as young and had a few medical issues. And that complicated things. We were stupid teenagers that thought we could take care of kid and get through it. I was horribly mistaken the day that Emily was born."

Clary watched him wearily while he stared at something particularly interesting on the floor. Like Jace's room back at the college, Emily's room was immaculate. For such a young child, she was neat and organized. Maybe she and Jace both had OCD or something?

"It was horrible to watch," Jace continued. "Jessamine, Emily's mother and my girlfriend at the time, wasn't… strong enough for the labor and the birth." He dropped his head to his hands. "Long story short: Jessamine died in child birth and I was left with Emily at sixteen. You can say I was… lost."

Clary sucked in a breath. "I didn't know it was like that."

Jace nodded and backed up to face her, turning so his back was against the wall and he could look at her. "Emily's mother was caring and all, but I wasn't in love with her. As harsh as that sounds, it never would've worked out between us. But that doesn't mean I regret Emily or regret what happened with Jess. I wish she was here so Emily could see her mother and see what she's like, but there isn't anything I can do about it now. All I can do is try to give Emily everything she needs."

"She has Charlotte and Henry though," Clary said as cheerfully as she could. "And from what I've observed, she seems to be quite taken with you."

He smiled. "I tried to give her everything I could. But that wasn't enough."

"So that's why she lives here instead of with you or your dad?"

Jace nodded. "Is it that obvious?"

She shrugged. "The accent gives it away. But we're sitting in her room, so you know, I just assumed."

"Ah, yeah. Sorry, I'm kind of out of it." He sighed and ran his hand through his short hair before continuing. "But, you know, it worked out. Charlotte is… having complications getting pregnant, so it was hard for her and Henry to have a child. She took Emily in like she was her own and took care of her in a way I wasn't able to. Jess's mother was Charlotte's sister, so at least Emily was still with family that loved her."

They were quiet for a moment. Clary took everything in and found her eyes studying Jace after a while. He was picking at his nails with a strained expression, but refused to look at her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she bluntly asked.

"I couldn't."

"That's not good enough. I want to know why you thought you couldn't trust me with this."

He dropped his hands and looked pained. "I was… scared."

Clary frowned. "Of what?"

"What something like that could've done to us," he said finally. "I was scared that whether I told you or not, you'd leave me. I knew I was bad for you, but Emily wasn't something you bargained for. Whenever you found out, I knew you would leave. And you did."

She felt a sudden guilt wash over her. "I didn't – I left because you lied. It takes me a while to trust you, Jace, and you kept breaking that trust."

He nodded and looked down. "I know."

"There were plenty of times that you could've told me, and you chose not to."

"You're right."

"I – what?"

He sighed. "You're right," he said again, lifting his golden eyes to hers. "I didn't treat you like I should have."

She reached up and gripped at her hair, letting gout a frustrated noise. "That's not what I meant. You treated me just like you should've, but you didn't talk to me like you should have."

"It's the same thing," he shot back harshly.

"It's not the same thing! You didn't treat me like Sebastian. You respected me, but you didn't talk to me."

"You know that losing you was one of my biggest fears," he said, his gaze hard and dangerous on her own. There was a fire burning in his eyes that made Clary weak all over. "Believe me or not, but I wanted to tell you. I just couldn't find any way to say it. It's not easy spilling you're life story on someone."

"I know that, but you should've known that I would've been there for you."

He shook his head and let out a laugh. "You have a different life to live, Clary. One that doesn't involve people holding you back from your dreams."

"You're the only dream I've had," she said without thinking. But she figured it was best to just snowball it and let it all flow. Screw caution. "For months, I've thought of nothing but you. I paint you without meaning to. I dream about you. I think about you. I hate it, but I do. Even after all that crap you put me through, I still… I still love you."

He sucked in a breath and his eyes widened. It was like she could see the same thing in them, but then he turned away when the door to Emily's room opened.

And the little girl herself stepped in.

"Daddy, I–" she froze when she saw Clary and Jace seated on her bed. "Um," she hesitated. "Is this a talk like what you and Grandpa have?"

Clary's eyebrows lifted at that but Jace shook his head. "Yes and no. It's not that bad."

"Why do you look like you're about to cry?" she asked, running in and jumping next to Jace on the bed. "Don't cry, Daddy."

He smiled sadly and glanced at Clary momentarily. "I'm not going to cry." Clary thought that he almost sounded a bit insulted. That was the Jace she knew.

Emily smiled back and looked at Clary. "He and Grandpa get into it all the time, like yelling and stuff. I don't like it, so Daddy normally makes me leave if I'm there." She turned back to Jace. "Are you going to make me leave again?"

He swallowed. "I do have some stuff to finish talking to Clary about. It's just for a bit and I'll be back down to your party in a minute."

"Are you going to ask her to leave?" She sounded frantic. "I don't want her to go! Daddy, don't make her leave!"

"I'm not," he said instantly. Clary felt her heart lift at that. He wasn't kicking her out, even after all this… shit that's happened. "I just need to talk to her, okay? We're almost done and you have nothing to worry about."

Emily pouted. A stubborn look that seriously looked like Jace's appeared on her face. "Fine. Pinky promise?"

Jace rolled his eyes but lifted his hand, linking his pinky with hers. "Promise."

She smiled at Clary before nodding and bouncing off the bed, running out of the room and forgetting to close the door.

Under normal circumstances, Clary would've laughed at the young girl's hyperness and excitement. But she was too focused on what was next. She just told Jace she still loved him, something she refused to admit to herself until now, and the next move was his, right?

He stood and closed the door, holding his hand against it and pressing his forehead to the wood. The silence was defining before he finally took a deep breath and slammed his fists against the door, causing Clary to jump. "I don't know what to say, Clary."

Clary bit her lip, expecting that but not exactly liking it. "I understand if you've moved on, Jace. I just… I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have told you that."

He whipped around quickly with wide eyes. "What makes you think I've moved on?"

"I heard you in the kitchen earlier. You were talking to someone, and you said 'Love you too'." She paused. "You rarely say that to anyone, and Emily was here so I figured you've gotten another girlfriend."

Jace shook his head. "No, no, no. I didn't. That was just–" He sighed and ran a hand through his shorter hair. "It was Isabelle."

"You're dating Isabelle?" she asked incredulously. "She's with Simon!"

Jace looked disgusted. "What? No!"

"Then what…"

"She's been helping me cope with a few things," he said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "With the new team, you leaving, Emily becoming more attached and her medical condition–"

"Medical condition?"

"Don't worry about it," he said and waved off her question. "Isabelle just helped me with everything. I needed someone to talk to and she was there. That's all it was – is."

That should've been her, she realized. Not Isabelle. If she wasn't so… impulsive, she would've been there for Jace like she was supposed to be.

But she was a coward and ran instead.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's not your fault," he said instantly and he was suddenly in front of her, squatting down to look up into her eyes. "Clary, it isn't your fault."

She stared into the gold that she's missed for so long, and she couldn't stop herself from reaching forward. Her hands found their way into his hair and his cheeks, touching him lightly. The sigh that came out from between his lips warmed her body and he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes.

"I wanted to call and talk to you," he said without opening his eyes. "But I couldn't."

"Why?' she asked. "Isabelle and Simon both have my number and a way to reach me."

"I know, but Izzy and I both agreed I had some things to figure out before I talked to you. It wasn't the right time for either of us for me to try to win you back. My problems were too big at the time."

Clary swallowed and held his face between her hands. "And did you figure them out?"

He opened his eyes and looked pained and upset. "I wish I could say yes, but I haven't." He reached up and pulled her hands away from him, laying them down in her lap. "Our relationship has always been either perfect or horrid. There is no grey and in between. It's extreme. I know that is mostly my fault, but I don't do anything half-way, including loving you. Which is why I can't be with you until I can do it fully and completely, exactly how you deserve."

Clary frowned, feeling cold in the tiny bedroom. "I thought the point of relationships were to help each other. Whatever is going on, I can help you–"

He shook his head furiously. "You can't. It's about me and only me. And until it's fixed, I need you to try to live your life. I can't get in the way of that without wanting to hate myself."

"But Jace–"

"Clary, stop," he said sternly, taking her face in his hands. His skin warmed her all over in a way she hasn't felt in a long time. "I love you and will love you for as long as I live. You don't have to worry about that, but these chapters of our lives have to be lived kind of separately." He leaned forward and planted a kiss to the top of her head. She felt the small contact all through her body. "We can talk and be friends, but anything more is putting too much on the plate right now. Can do you do that? Can we be friends?"

She wanted to say yes, but wasn't sure she could. She couldn't say no either since she knew that she'd do whatever he needed.

"I'll try," she said softly.

"We don't have to make this complicated," he said quickly, pulling back to look her in the eyes. "I want to talk to you and keep up with you, but we can't be completely devoted. I have other obligations right now, Emily for one, and I can't shove her aside for someone else. I did before and it's haunted me ever since. She's too fragile and important to me. Please understand that."

"I do," she said quickly. "I understand."

He smiled and for the first time in a long time, she finally got the look that she'd been begging for. It wasn't for Jace to look at her with lust or love, but with happiness. And she finally got it at that point.

She wasn't the only one he needed, but she had to be there for him. They had to be there for each other?

Could they do that without wrecking everything in their path? That's the problem.

Nothing was going to be fixed right away. You all should've known that. But the feelings are there and you never know when it's going to show up again ;)

SNIPPET TIME!

Snippet 1: "What did you do?" Isabelle demanded as she stood in the doorway, arms crossed, looking dangerous and furious and terrifying.

Jace swallowed and held his hands up defensively. "What?"

Snippet 2: "They'd make a cute couple," she wondered aloud, pushing her ice cream around with her spoon. "Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood. Magnus and Alec. Malec. I like it."

Snippet 3: "I just... I just wanted you to know," he decided to say. "I don't want you to think differently. I'm not saying anything but I miss you. That's all I'm saying."

Sooooooo, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK? Yay or nay to Emily? I know you all will hate what I did to Jace and Clary and the whole 'let's be friends' things so don't be too harsh! It just kind of happened... I'm sorry.

Looking forward to hearing what you all have to say :) stay tuned for more.