A/N: Wow, it's been a long time. I'm working on four total writing projects right now and I've had no inspiration for this. Hopefully I can get over this blah soon.

"Mama, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, chicken wing."

"Is it okay that we are making Christmas cookies on Halloween?"

Lindsay chuckled and looked down at Levi who had flour in various spots across her face and batter on her chin.

"I think it's absolutely okay."

"Good."

"I'm sorry I couldn't take you trick-or-treating tonight."

"Oh that's okay! My costume was a little too itchy and besides I could not eat the candy anyway."

"Yeah, but I could."

Levi chuckled and climbed up on her chair at the kitchen table, cracking her knuckles before diving into the box of cookie cutters.

"Whoa baby! This is Yoda! Mama, you've been holding out on me!"

Lindsay laughed and sat next to her daughter, helping her arrange the cookie cutters by type.

"Is today Wednesday?"

"No, it's Tuesday. Are you looking forward to a call from Josh?"

"Eh, maybe. Sometimes he is a little boring. I do most of the talking."

"I know."

"Do you know where Josh works?"

"Well yes, but have you asked him that?"

"Oh. No, I have not. Should I ask him questions?"

"Of course. How do you think you'll get to know him if you don't ask about him?"

"Hmm, okay. Tomorrow I will try that. He said that sometime maybe I could talk to my sister. You know about her right?"

"Yeah."

"I always wanted a sister but I wanted her to live with me not with Josh. So it's not exactly what I was thinking but I guess it will do for now. Where's Adam?"

Lindsay wasn't so in denial that she didn't notice Levi's shift in subject, nor did it escape her that the two men were somehow linked in the young mind.

"He's at work, baby."

"Why is he always at work? I like when he is here with us. He makes you smile."

"Yes he does, but so do you."

Levi nodded and counted the cookie cutters, then began to look through the sprinkles too. She was more interested in decorating the cookies than eating them, it was much more fun.

"Mama, you know how we have that dinosaur puzzle that is missing a piece?"

"Yeah."

Levi chewed on her bottom lip and watched intently as Lindsay rolled out the sugar cookie dough, making sure it was just the right thickness to cook evenly.

"Sometimes I feel a little like that puzzle."

The comment took her by surprise and she settled the rolling pin on the table, turning to face her daughter and knowing this was going to be a serious conversation.

"Can you explain that to me a little bit?"

"Yes. You see, that puzzle is real nice. And it takes a long time to work on and I am real proud of it when it's finished. But that one piece is always gone. And so there is part of me that is sad because it will never be just right. I think that's how my heart feels about not having a daddy all the time. Like a puzzle piece is missing from me. And Josh, you know, he should make it feel like the piece is there, but he does not. I know he's trying."

"Honey, I'm so sorry you feel like that."

"Oh but it's okay! Because I figured it out. I was thinkin' 'bout all the things a daddy does. Daddies love you and help you and play with you and teach you about things a lot. You know what? Adam does all those things for me. He helps me with my homework and he listens when I'm upset and he explains things to me like why it is not good to talk to you with a disrespectful voice."

"Yeah, he does do some of that."

"He does all of that. He even rocks me to sleep when I am too hyper to fall asleep on my own. When he is here I don't feel like the dinosaur puzzle, mama. I feel like the beach one that has all the pieces."

Lindsay wasn't sure exactly what to say at this point, and she had no idea what she was feeling about all this either. At least for the moment she could be relieved that her daughter was happy and settled.

"I'm glad you feel whole, honey."

"I will not tell Adam about it just yet. I don't know if I could explain it to him as good. Also I think it is good for me to give Josh more chances to be a daddy type person, you know?"

"I agree."

Levi licked her lips and made a few more cookies then sat back in her chair and yawned.

"Is it late?"

"Getting there. Are you ready for bed?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Can I come in and cuddle you?"

"Yes, okay! I should take a bath first right? I didn't take one last night. Or the night before that! Oh yuck!"

"Go pick out some jammies and I'll get some nice bubbles started for you."

Levi slid down from the table, the buttons on the back pockets of her jeans scratching up the chair as she went. She turned back to the chair and rubbed over it with her hand, shaking her head before dashing off into her bedroom. Lindsay grinned and cleaned up some of the cookies, realizing that she had half of the batch to cut out and bake still tonight.

"Mama, I picked my jammies and I don't see bubbles!"

"Sorry doll, I'm coming."

She pushed her chair out from the table and went into the bathroom, starting the water while Levi climbed up on the stool and made faces at herself in the mirror.

"You know what would be weird? If I did not have lips."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mm-hmm. I would look so silly. Or what if I had no eyebrows! That's hilarious."

"Quite funny. Get in the tub before the bubbles go away."

"Could I sleep with you tonight?"

"How come?"

"Just because."

"Okay, but you're going to have to lay in there by yourself for a while."

"That's alright. I just like to be close to you. It makes me feel safe and happy," she explained, while Lindsay shampooed her hair.

"I love you, little girl."

"Tell me how much."

"How much? Levi, I love you so much that my heart can't even hold it all. I love you so much that no matter what happens in my life, I will be happy because I have you. I love you so much that I don't think anyone could ever love their child more. And every day I love you more than I ever thought I could. You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and I wouldn't change it for anything."

"Know what I think?"

"What's that?"

"I think that before I was a baby, when I was a angel in heaven, God told me to pick someone to be my mama. And I could not because there were so many and so I asked him to point out the best mama in the whole world and he pointed at you. And then we shook on it, me and him, and that is how I came to be yours."

Lindsay smiled and leaned over the side of the tub to kiss her daughter's cheeks.

"Baby, I am so glad it worked out that way."

"Me too! Is my hair almost done washing?"

"Almost. Just a little more soap to get out."

"Good. I will help you clean up the cookies before bedtime, okay?"

"If you help me do that, then I'll go to bed too."

"Alright. Will you sing to me or read me a book?"

"We'll see how tired we are. Ready to get out?"

Levi nodded and stepped out of the tub, smiling when she was wrapped in her fuzzy robe. Lindsay quickly toweled her hair dry and combed it out before sending her to her room to change. They met back in the kitchen and moved the unused dough to a covered bowl and put it in the fridge to use later. The cookies they'd already cut out were left on the pan and put in the fridge as well before a wet rag was pulled over the table and counters and the kitchen was cleaned up.

"I am going to say my prayers now, by myself."

"By yourself? Why?"

"Because I need to pray for something secret of course!"

Levi knelt by the bed and began to whisper a prayer and as much as Lindsay wanted to know what the secret was she moved to the other side of the room and changed clothes instead.

"Okay, I'm ready for bed now. Thanks for coming to sleep with me, mama."

"You're welcome honey," Lindsay said, throwing back the covers while Levi climbed in and adjusted the pillows.

"How come you never call and say goodnight to gramma?"

"Oh. Well I guess I just got too old."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Lindsay regretted saying them. It didn't come out how she wanted it to, and Levi burst into tears, burying her face in her pillow.

"I don't want to get too old to say goodnight to you!" she wailed. "What age will that be?"

"Oh sweetie, I said that wrong. I mean as I grew up I thought I was too old to say goodnight to grandma. But really, you're never too old."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"I can say goodnight to you every night for my whole entire life?"

"Yes."

"Okay. That scared me for a moment."

"I know. I'm sorry love."

"Whew, dodged a bullet on that one. Well I guess it's time to go to sleep. Goodnight mama."

"Night baby."

Levi settled into Lindsay's side, falling asleep in a few minutes with her thumb securely in her mouth. Lindsay wasn't tired yet but wasn't opposed to laying there with her daughter in the peace and quiet. Thoughts tumbled around in her mind like rocks in a polisher and as much as she wanted to slow them down and just pluck one out to mull over she couldn't halt the motion.

It could have been ten minutes or an hour that she'd been laying there when her phone buzzed, almost falling off the side table. As carefully as she could, she reached for it, trying not to wake Levi as she answered.

"Hey Adam."

"Hey Linds. You're quiet."

"Offspring is asleep next to me."

"Oh gotcha."

"Did you just get off work?"

"Yeah. I was going to swing by and drop off some Halloween stuff for Levi but if she's already sleeping I'll do it tomorrow."

"She'll be happy to see you," Lindsay whispered, rolling onto her side to play with Levi's hair. "It's been a few weeks now and apparently I am not as fun as you are."

"Yeah, I knew that already."

"Shut up. And come over anyway."

"You're already in bed."

"Yeah, I guess. I just kinda miss you."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Hmm. I'll think of a witty reply later."

"Looking forward to it. Hey, so what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"Not sure. I think we're going to Freddie's for lunch and then I have to work that night."

"Oh, okay."

"Why?"

"My aunt said you guys could join us if you wanted to."

"Oh. I wish we could do both."

"That's okay. Some other time."

They slipped into silence for a few moments and she yawned gently, finding herself lulled into drowsiness by the sound of his breathing.

"Hey Linds?"

"Mm?"

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Sleep good."

She smiled as if he could see her and held the phone a little tighter, just so it wouldn't slip away before she was done.

"Night Adam."

"Overall, Levi is doing very well."

Lindsay looked up from the classwork printouts she'd been looking at, and met eyes with her daughter's teacher who seemed to be telling the truth, not trying to sugarcoat something a parent didn't want to hear.

"She is?"

"Yes. She's very smart, willing to participate in group discussions. She'll take the lead if need be, but she doesn't force herself on others, or become bossy. Sometimes she does need a little extra direction with things, or needs to be refocused, but that's very common at her age."

"No behavioral problems?"

"No. I have noticed that she plays mostly by herself at recess, but it doesn't seem to bother her."

"Does she get along with the other kids in class?"

"Very well, yes."

Lindsay nodded and sat back in the small chair. She'd been worried about this parent-teacher meeting for weeks, but she'd also been hoping that maybe she could unlock the secret as to why Levi seemed to be struggling so much lately. Her emotions had always been up and down, but lately her highs were particularly high and her lows were unbearable. Even Adam's calming influence hadn't helped much on a few occasions.

"I'm a little concerned about her reading level. Her comprehension is excellent but it takes her a lot longer to read things than it does for her peers. Do you read at home often?"

"We used to read before bed a lot but we've fallen out of the habit recently."

"She's not so far behind that I would suggest a tutor just yet, but it might be prudent to spend more time on it at home."

"We will."

The teacher nodded and began to talk about the curriculum for the rest of the year and while Lindsay sat and listened, half her mind was on her daughter. She'd been evaluated by a behavioral therapist who agreed that there was an attention struggle and some sensory issues, but couldn't pinpoint the cause of the outbursts. There were other avenues to explore such as diet and allergies, but Lindsay wanted answers now, and wasn't interested in treating her daughter like a science experiment.

Half an hour later the meeting was over and she gathered, her things, thanking the teacher for the update and asking to be made immediately aware of any changes. She left the building and found her car, sighing as she started it up and headed home. Being a parent was supposed to get easier with time, as you figured things out and realized what you were doing. But it seemed to get harder with every passing year and for the first time she was dreading watching her daughter grow up.

It was with that miserable thought that she entered the apartment a while later, stopping short at the sight in front of her and smiling.

Adam and Levi were asleep on the couch, Levi curled up against Adam's chest with her thumb in her mouth, looking sweet and content and nothing like the terror that came out when she threw a fit. Lindsay stood there for a few minutes, looking at them and wishing it could always be like this. Carefully she leaned down and pried Levi out of Adam's arms, hoping not to wake her daughter.

"What's going on?" Adam asked sleepily, rubbing at his eyes.

"I'm just putting her to bed. Go back to sleep."

Walking slowly, she made her way into the small bedroom, prepared to scoot toys out of the way with her foot, but finding the floor free of clutter, the bed made, and toys and books put in their proper places. It hadn't looked like this in over a year and she felt tears spring to her eyes at the thought that Adam had made this happen because he knew she was stressed and it might help.

Gently, she tucked Levi into bed and kissed her goodnight, leaving a nightlight on before slipping out of the room and joining Adam on the couch. She was pulled into his arms as soon as she sat down and she returned the affection, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"You're the best."

"What?"

"You made her clean her room. Do you realize how long a battle that's been?"

"We just had a little talk about it."

"Well thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Did Josh call?"

"Yeah, a few minutes late."

"Did she say anything about it?"

"Not a word. Hung up the phone after a while and asked if we could watch a movie. How was the meeting?"

"It was fine," she said with a sigh. "She's doing fine. Needs more practice with her reading but otherwise she's where she should be."

"That's good. You don't sound like you think it's good though."

"I do. I just…"

"I know. I was doing a little research the other night and I found something that could be a culprit."

"Oh yeah?"

"Have you ever heard of candida overgrowth?"

"I don't think so," she yawned. "What is it?"

"Too much yeast in the gut. In kids it can cause a lot of the smaller symptoms she has. Waking up in the middle of the night, the dark circles under her eyes, all the ear infections and strep throat she had when she was younger, her attention span, how quickly she can burst into tears, how aggressive she can get when she's upset, the headaches she's been complaining about. Plus she could live on bread and milk and be totally happy. Those cravings are big indicators too. I'm wondering if the tantrums are worse because she feels so crummy."

"I don't know. I'm going to call the doctor in the morning get some allergy tests and maybe another evaluation. I don't want to keep taking her in for tests but I don't want her to live like this either. It's just not fair."

"I know."

"You researched?"

"I just want her to be okay."

"Thank you."

"I printed some stuff out for you. It's on the kitchen table."

She nodded and rested against him, smiling as his hand ran up and down her back.

"For tonight I think you should let it go. She had a good day today and if she gets enough sleep, tomorrow will probably be okay too."

"I hope so."

"She's going through a lot right now, Linds. She's getting older, more aware of things around her. She's at school more often and she feels like no one there likes her."

"She does?"

"That's what she told me tonight."

"I don't want that for her," Lindsay sighed, wiping her eyes.

"I don't either."

"Can I cry a little or is that going to freak you out?"

"You just go ahead and have a cry. I'll be right here."