A/N:Warning: This chapter contains explicit sex. It's near the end so you can skip it if you need to.

I'm going to answer the two questions I've been asked the most about the last couple of chapters. First one: who was the woman Matt loved who died in his arms? Her name was Sarah Drew ("Long, Long Trail").

The other question is about the warm water on Doc's cold feet from a reader way down in Australia. I know. I know! I thought you were supposed to use cold water, too. I had a long scene about submerging Doc in a cold bath and everything! I decided on a whim to fact check and found out that cold water is an old wives' tale. The primary treatment for all stages of hypothermia is warming the body as soon as possible. The water needs to be slightly higher than normal body temp, between 99-104 degrees. As for warm water being painful, apparently, it all hurts – hot or cold. The nerves start thawing out and hurt like hell.

This is a really long chapter. I needed to have Doc and Dillon talk some things through.

~~Chapter 13

Icy rain ticked against the window glass and the wind made a sound in the chimney like the distant whistle of a train. Doc gazed at James. He still held her hand and didn't seem inclined to let go. I knew enough to stand quiet, to let him think it through.

"I thought I was delirious when I first saw those eyes," he said, finally. He glanced over at the painting of James's mother. "Get those from her?"

"My father, actually," said James.

"Where is your family?"

James tilted her head toward me. "Standing right there," she said.

"I see," said Doc. "And that accent. French Creole?"

"My mother only ever spoke French."

They studied each other. I stepped away and leaned against the wall by the fireplace.

"I know what you're thinking, Dr. Adams," James said. "Matt has a healing bullet wound in his leg. If I could help it, I would not have him suffer another. But a woman can't make a man be what he's not. I would never ask him to be a farmer or a shopkeeper for me. I've loved him from almost the moment I saw him and I intend to spend my life making him happy."

Doc raised his brows and blinked a few times. He looked at James's hand in his. He twitched his mustache and gave a small, one-sided tilt of his head.

"I think that's all I need to know," he said. He jerked his thumb at me. "The way he looks at you though, I think he might leap off a cliff if you asked him to."

"That's funny. He said the same thing."

"Did he, now," Doc chuckled.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not standing right here," I said, frowning.

Doc finally released James's hand. "Let's see about these socks," he said, lifting a foot out of the bucket.

James knelt and gently slid her finger under the edge of his sock. Her wedding ring glinted warmly in the lamplight.

"Not as bad as all that," she said. "I think we can get them off without too much trouble."

"All right," said Doc. He set his jaw as James slowly peeled off his socks.

"Your skin is a little mottled but no blisters - yet. Your feet are soft. That's a good sign. I bet they hurt, though."

"Like the dickens."

"Can you wiggle your toes?"

"Yep."

James reached into the folds of the quilt and pressed her hand to Doc's chest. "You seem to be warming up well. I think something for the pain wouldn't stop your heart at this point."

"You talk like a doctor," said Doc.

"Matt thinks I'd make a good gunman," said James. "Is there something in your case that you want? I can otherwise make you a tea, if you like?"

"The tea is fine. Same difference, if you ask me."

"Perhaps less precise than a measured dose."

"Honey, none of it's precise."

Doc's eyes traveled from James to me and back again while she made the tea, taking it all in, probably making sure he wasn't delirious after all. James gave him the tea, holding his hands cupped in hers for a moment. Doc took a sip, grimaced then yawned. James put her hands on her hips.

I took a tiny step back. Doc looked slightly alarmed.

"Dr. Adams, you will finish your tea, have some supper then you must rest," James said. "Fortunately, there's no shortage of men's clothes in this house. I will put out a nightshirt and socks for you. Matt, put those two bricks in the fire and make Dr. Adams a bowl of stew. I'll go ready the bed in the other room so that the two of you can pretend that you are not talking about me."

"She does kind of look at a fella like she's sighting down the barrel of a gun," said Doc, when James left the room.

"She hits what she's aiming at." I said.

"Your kind of woman."

"I was in love with that girl before I even got off my horse."

I put the bricks in the coals to heat then put a couple of spoonfuls of stew in a bowl and set it on the side table next to Doc's chair. He sipped his tea, his eyes roaming my face.

"Speak your piece," I said.

"You can't do anything the easy way, can you?"

I went back to my spot against the wall next to the fireplace. "In some ways, Doc, this is the easiest thing I've ever done."

"I'm listening."

"When I caught up to Cooker and he shot me, it wasn't so much dying that bothered me. It was dying in an abandoned mine with only a child-murdering rapist for company. That's worse than dying alone. I didn't die in that mine and I didn't bleed to death when I dug the bullet out of my leg. But in the days after, I was cold and hungry, almost out of bullets and getting sicker and sicker. As many times as I've been shot and knifed and clubbed over the head, I've never felt worse than I did then."

"A lung infection is a hard way to die," said Doc.

"Then I found James's brother."

"What's that, you say?"

"On his way back from Fort Hardy. Got off his mule to climb the slope, slipped and hit his head. Near as I can tell, it killed him quick." I glanced back to make sure James wasn't close. "He was her twin."

"Oh, for heaven's sakes. Her twin? That's real bad."

"The wolves had had at him by the time I got there. I shot one of them before I got close, thinking they were feeding on a deer."

Doc shook his head and clucked his tongue sympathetically.

"Doc, it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. Such a lonely death." I swallowed hard. "I couldn't do anything for him."

"Poor kid," Doc said softly. I couldn't tell if he was talking about me or about Lucien.

"I never used to worry about dying," I said. "But being in that mine with Cooker then finding James's brother... It was one thing after another." I cleared my throat. "A man's got one life, Doc. He lives it the way he sees it. I couldn't see mine anymore. When I'm gone, there's nothing left of me – not even a single photograph. I lay on that ridge up there. I thought I was dead. Then James came out and lit the lamp on the porch."

"Have you considered that you might not be in your right mind?" asked Doc. He swept his cup in a wide arc. "That the two of you in this cabin all alone might just be making you both a little crazy? You had a bad fever. She lost her brother. Maybe you're just happy to be alive." He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "It's not too late to stop this," he said.

"It's done," I said. "We … didn't waste any time."

"By that reasoning, you should be married a hundred times over."

"I never made Kitty – or any of them - any promises."

Doc sat back in his chair. "To borrow a phrase, that's harder than I'd slam a door," he said.

"It was a fight we had for years."

He held up a hand. "Yes, yes, I know. 'Bringing the law to the frontier is worth a man's whole life and everything in it. It doesn't leave any place for a woman.' I've heard you give that speech to half a dozen women before – and after – Kitty."

"It was the truth for me. At least it was before I faced Cooker in that mine. He told me that those girls asked for what he gave them. That they loved it." I swiped a hand over my face and took a long breath through my nose. "There was nothing in his eyes when he said that, Doc. Nothing. Blood was pumping out of the hole in his chest and I put two bullets in his head while he lay there on his back."

"Don't you dare take that on," said Doc, pointing a finger at me. "You did the right thing. He was dying anyway."

"Any guilt I might've felt I let go with that second bullet. I think about if I hadn't stopped him ..." I closed my eyes briefly. "This farm's only two days ride from that mine."

"He's dead. Forget him."

I nodded. We stared silently into the fire, listening to James scold Mortimer for putting his dirty paws on the sheets. Doc looked up at me.

"Kitty thinks you're coming back to her, you know. And you want to know why?"

"Doc, I - ."

"Because you always have, son," he said, gently.

xxxXXXxxx

I picked up Doc's pants and jacket, shook them out and hung them on the clothes rail to dry. I draped the blankets over the backs of two kitchen chairs. He watched me silently. I finally walked over and sat in the chair next to him. I propped my forearms on my thighs and laced my fingers together.

"I'm not proud of how I behaved and I'm not excusing it," I said. "My actions didn't always match the words coming out of my mouth. But I wasn't the be all and end all for her. She had the Long Branch. If I was gone, she'd be fine, not some destitute widow. Kitty's history didn't start with me."

"Yes, Kitty had options. No, her history didn't start with you. And no, she didn't walk down the aisle on her daddy's arm to be handed over to you."

"You know I don't mean it like that," I said quietly. "I have the highest respect for her."

"Hey. Look at me," snapped Doc.

I lifted my eyes briefly to his then turned my gaze to the fire. He laid a hand on my knee.

"I get it. It feels good to be someone's knight in shining armor. And Kitty's not some know-nothing farm girl." He shook his head. "You both became a habit neither of you could break."

I sighed. "I said some pretty hard things to her before I left."

"Like?"

"That if I wanted a wife, I'd go find one."

Doc winced as if he'd been stung. "I guess you went out and did just that," he said.

"I wasn't planning to. Doc, I got to the end of Front Street, turned around, went back to my house and got that ring."

Doc shook his head again.

"I don't understand it either," I said.

"Matt, an experience like what you went through with Cooker would change even the hardest of men. But did you have to marry the first girl you saw? This particular girl."

"I know what I'm in for."

"Do you? Does she? And what about your children?"

"We'll live where people mind their own business."

"And then what?"

"I have something I hadn't considered seriously until I rode out of Dodge. Something that I might've done anyway... things going the way they were."

"Stop being so damn cryptic."

I went to my saddlebags and took out my wallet. I pulled out a business card tucked inside. The paper was stout, woven with linen and discreetly expensive. I brought it over to Doc.

"This," I said.

Doc held the card under the lamp light. His brows went up.

"This man's a hired gun."

"Some people say that. Usually from the wrong side of a set of prison bars."

"Dangerous way to make a living. Maybe even more so than being a marshal. And you won't exactly have the law on your side."

"Maybe not strictly speaking, but enough that I'll rest easy." I put the card back in my wallet.

"I thought he worked alone."

"I ran into him in St. Louis last year. Told me to look him up if I ever wanted to make a change."

"Well, the money would sure be good."

"And I won't have to go into exile in Mexico or the Northern Territories somewhere just because I have a wife." I paused. "And..."

"And, between you and him, folks know she's yours, Jimmy is safe as a princess in a tower."

"Like I said, people will mind their own business."

"Sounds like you got it all figured out - and with a girl whose history starts with you."

I looked over and saw James standing in the bedroom doorway. Her eyes shone in the lamplight. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her baggy dungarees. She smiled at me with one side of her mouth. I could feel my heart beat a little faster and a little deeper.

"It's a new history for me, too," I said. "And a future I certainly didn't see coming."

James and I stared at each other. Doc stared at us both. He sighed.

"I guess that's it, then," he said. He huffed a laugh. "You know. I kind of figured you might do this one day." He raised his cup to James. "That whoever she was, she was going to be something."

James narrowed her eyes skeptically. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Dr. Adams. You haven't eaten your supper like I ordered."

"Oh, I plum forgot, Miss Jimmy," said Doc. He set down his tea and took a bite of the rabbit stew. "This is real good. You're a fine cook."

"Matt made it, not me," said James, walking over to Doc. She pressed her wrist to his forehead. "How do you feel?"

"Tired."

"Finish that then it's to bed. You need nourishment and rest."

Doc winked at me and grinned up at James. "If I had a nickel for every time I said that to Matt Dillon."

"Humph," I said.

"Never mind him, Dr. Adams," said James, pointing at the bowl of food.

"Yes, ma'am," said Doc, digging into his stew. When he put his bowl aside, he yawned again. "I'm starting to feel a little floaty.

James knelt by the fireplace and removed the heated bricks with a pair of iron tongs. She wrapped them in flannel and held them out to me. "Here," she said. "Help Dr. Adams into bed."

"I can manage," said Doc.

James's frown was severe.

"That was exactly the wrong thing to say," I murmured in Doc's ear, as I helped him out of his chair.

I dressed him in the nightshirt and wool socks with only token resistance from him then tucked him into bed with the warmed bricks at his feet. When I pulled the heavy quilt to his chin, I thought he'd fallen asleep. I reached over to turn down the bedside lamp. He stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Not true," he whispered, his words slurred with exhaustion and poppy stem tea.

"What's not true?"

"Nothing left of you. A big chunk of Kansas has got you right here." He splayed his hand on the quilt above his heart. "I've got you." His eyes drifted shut.

I turned down the lamp and made sure his glass of water was within reach. I smoothed his hair back and rested my hand on his cheek.

"I've got you too, old man," I whispered.

xxxXXXxxx

When I walked back into the front room, James was setting the table for supper.

"How is he?"

"He's out."

"I'll wake him in a few hours to see how his feet are doing. He's a much easier patient than you are."

"Yeah, well. Wait until he gets his strength back."

"While I was in making up the bed, it sounded like the two of you were having a pretty serious debate."

I wrapped my arms around her waist. I leaned back and looked down into her face. "It was no debate," I said.

"I suppose our honeymoon will have to wait."

"Says who?"

"Matt, Dr. Adams is in the next room."

"You'll just have to be quiet, then."

"Me?"

I picked her up and held her against my body.

"Yes, you. Also, take it easy with me. You don't know your own strength."

I dipped her backward and ran my lips across her jaw and down her neck.

"Put me down," she said, giggling. "That stew will turn to mush if we don't eat it now. Aren't you hungry?"

"Not for stew."

She sobered. "Was it only this morning?"

I set her on her feet. "Long day."

"Our wedding day - such as it was."

"And now, our wedding night."

"Should we, Matt? I mean, I know he'll be with us all winter but -."

I slid my hand into the gap in her shirt. She'd dressed in a hurry when Doc arrived and hadn't put on her camisole. I cupped her breast in my hand, squeezing gently then rubbing her nipple in a circular motion with my palm. James sighed and leaned into the feeling.

"You would be hard to leave be," I murmured.

She looked over her shoulder at Doc's room. "I suppose he will be asleep for a few hours ..."

"He might be, yes".

James walked over to the fire and moved the stew onto the hearth. She went into our bedroom. After a moment, she came back out. She looked at me expectantly.

"You sure think in a straight line, cowboy," I said.

She frowned, confused.

I grinned. "I'll be in in a minute." I almost added, "After I do my rounds."

Being a creature of habit, I did do rounds, of a sort. I banked the fire and turned down the lamps. I looked in on Doc. After a moment's hesitation, I put the bar back on the front door then went to the anteroom off the kitchen and bolted the back door.

I checked our water stores and made a mental note to top off the barrels in the morning. The big wood box was nearly full but I decided that it could stand a few more sticks. We were going to need more of everything since we had Doc with us. Clyde had come home with the sacks of supplies from Fort Hardy still strapped to his back: sugar, dried beans, coffee, flour, ten pounds of salted side meat, iron nails, writing paper and a new axe head. We had chickens and venison that would've stretched for two, but now we were three. There were also two extra horses on the farm now. It would be a lean winter but I wasn't too worried. The wolves had pushed the game our way so the hunting was good and -.

"Mr. Dillon."

I spun around. A naked James stood in the bedroom doorway.

I covered the space between us in two strides. I lifted her with my hands around her waist and carried her into the bedroom. I sat her on the edge of the bed.

"I'm going to close the door," I said.

"It's going to get cold in here."

"It's also going to get loud," I said, closing the door.

I stood looking down at James as I unbuttoned my shirt. She leaned back on her elbows, causing her breasts to gather at the center of her chest. Her nipples were large and dark. I hadn't had time to put on my under clothes when Doc arrived, either. I peeled off my shirt and draped it over the chair. I'd lost quite a bit of weight from being so sick. Beltless, my pants hung low enough on my hips that you could see where my pubic hair began.

James shivered.

"Are you cold?" I asked quietly.

"No," she breathed.

I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my pants, pushed them down my hips and stepped out of them. My cock was as hot and hard as if I hadn't had my release in a year. James slid a hand between her legs and squeezed her thighs together. I'd never watched a woman touch herself in that way before.

"Need any help?" I asked.

"I want to feel you inside me," she said.

"Plenty of time for that."

James sat up. She ran her hand up the inside of my thigh. She held my balls in the cup of her hand.

"So warm," she whispered. She lifted them and peered underneath. She jumped and snatched her hand away.

"They move," she gasped.

"Yes."

"Do they do that all the time? Why? Can you make them do that?"

"Yes. No – can we talk about this some other time?"

"Of course."

James continued her examination, stroking her palm up the underside of my shaft. She pinched it gently between her thumb and two fingers, drawing my foreskin over the head. I let out a long shaky breath. She released me, watching the skin spring back. I wrestled with my self-control. Her touch was light but I was going to come if she didn't stop.

"James - ."

"Did you like it when a woman puts you in her mouth?" she asked.

I blinked, startled. "Wha – how-?" I stuttered.

"Will you teach me?"

Before I could answer, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against me in a kiss. My hips flexed involuntarily. The head of my cock slipped past her lips and met her teeth. I shuddered and moaned deep in my chest. I started to withdraw but James opened her mouth and drew more of me in. I loved being inside a woman but this ... lips and tongue and watching myself slide in and out ... this sent me wild. Her mouth was soft and hot and it took every ounce of strength in me not to thrust forward. I bent at the waist and slipped out. I gripped myself in my fist and squeezed, desperately trying to hold back my orgasm but it was too late.

"Ah. Oh, God." I cried, my words jerking from my throat.

My cock pulsed strongly in my hand and I came with a force that brought me to my knees. I caught the jet of hot semen in the cup of my trembling hands, groaning loudly as I throbbed once, twice and again in rapid succession. I collapsed from my kneeling position onto James, pushing her flat into the mattress. I started to shift to keep from crushing her but she squeezed my ribs between her warm thighs and held me there, her fingers stroking through my hair. When I could move again, I wiped my hands on the flannel that the ever-prepared James had on the side table. I climbed into the bed and pulled James on top of me. I tugged the quilt over both of us and held James with her head on my chest. I could tell she was listening to the pounding of my heart – and probably my lungs, too. I felt her smile against my skin.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"I guess you do like it when a woman puts you in her mouth," she said.

"Yes, well. The night isn't over yet," I said.

xxxXXXxxx