Hello! Just so you guys know, I don't plan on keeping these two apart for very long so no worries there! I am not much of a dweller on the negative. I tend to shy away from stories like that so I definitely wouldn't be able to write one. Anyway, thank you all for reading and reviewing! You are all the best! =) Hope you have a great day!

Back to Square One

Chapter Nineteen

She told the kids to stay in the house as she walked him to his truck in the pouring rain. He shoved a bag of clothes into the passenger seat and slammed the door, turning to face her. She wanted to cry but she put the breaks on her emotions for the moment. If she was going to be an emotional wreck over him leaving then she would save it for when she was alone. There was no sense in making him feel worse than he already did. She could tell by the look on his face, even blinking rain out of his eyes, that he did feel bad. But he needed his brother and his brother needed him and she would never even think about standing in the way of that. She was lucky that things had worked out as perfectly as they had. She had him and that was the important part. She expected this to be much harder. If Merle Dixon was the only one giving her trouble over this then she would take it gladly.

"You're soaked," he said loudly over the pounding rain. "You need to get your ass back in the house."

She nodded and then pushed his wet hair back, laughing because the last time she had done that it had been long. "I'll see ya around, Daryl."

He gave her a nod and then surprised her when he dipped his head down and kissed her. She had never been the type of woman to swoon over romantic situations or daydream about things as silly as that, but kissing a man, especially this man, in the rain sort of made her insides turn to mush.

When he finally lifted his head back up his eyes flicked past her towards the porch and then he groaned. She looked back over her shoulder and spotted Sophia and Carl standing on the porch, watching them with their heads together.

"Guess there goes keepin' secrets, huh?" he grumbled.

She shook her head and finally let go of him. "I don't think it was much of a secret to begin with," she couldn't help but grin. His face was flaming. "I think she's fine with it Daryl. No worries."

"That don't mean she needs to watch," he growled as he started around the front of the truck. "Stay safe," he said loud enough for her to hear and then he stopped in his tracks and glanced at her from over his shoulder, a crooked smile gracing his lips.

She shook her head and grinned before she turned around and headed towards the porch. Sophia and Carl were trying hard to keep a straight face but it didn't work. They both laughed when she tried her hardest to glare at them.

"Inside," she ordered, pointing to the door.

They hurried in front of her. She glanced back but he was already pulling out of the drive. She felt her stomach sink as he drove away. She didn't feel good about him leaving, even though she knew he had too. She just had to hope and pray that she would see him again soon. It wasn't like he was leaving the state or going on some far away trip. He was going home. She would be fine and so would he. She knew that they had plenty of time before the walkers came. But she didn't like to be away from him. She didn't like the thought that if something did happen sooner, if she was all wrong then he would be there and she would be here and anything could happen.

She shook her head and she pulled the t-shirt over her head. And slipped out of her soaked jeans. She needed to stop thinking that way. He would be okay and so would she and somehow he was going to be able to convince his brother to stop acting like an idiot. They would all be okay.

Carl and Sophia were already waiting by the door. Carl was planning on begging his parents to let him go with them to the quarry but Carol didn't think it was going to do the boy any good. They were close, they could be even closer now after another night and another dream but they were still having a difficult time with it. Who wouldn't? So she doubted he would get to go.

She made sure the door was locked, even though the only person she wanted to keep out had a key, and then ushered them out to the car in the pouring rain. She had already called Lori and told her they were on there way.

She was about to get into the drivers seat when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun around, knocking the hand away as she did and then gaped at the man standing in front of her. It wasn't Ed, like she had been expecting. It was Glenn.

"Glenn?" She said quickly, "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else."

He looked a little rough around the edges. Like he hadn't slept or something. "Carol, we need to talk," he said quickly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. "It's all gonna sound really crazy but I don't know who else to talk too and..."

She put her hand on his arm, stopping him. "I know. I already know. Would you mind following me. We can talk at Rick and Lori's."

His eyes went wide and he took a few steps away, running his hand through his wet hair. "It's true then? Lori? Lori and Rick?"

She nodded and then glanced behind her. Sure enough there was a small silver car parked out on the street in front of her house. The rain was coming down so hard she hadn't even heard it.

"I'll follow you," he said quickly and then took off. She got in but it was too late. She was soaked again. She shouldn't even have changed clothes.

"Carol, that was Glenn!" Carl nearly shrieked once they started pulling out.

"I know, sweetheart. He's meeting us at your house." She said as she glanced at the boy in the rear view mirror. Sure enough Glenn was right on her tail.

"So he knows too?" Sophia asked.

"He must," she said as she navigated the wet streets. She wished Daryl was with her. She was pretty sure he was looking forward to seeing Glenn. Like the others from the prison, they had bonded.

She pulled up far enough into the Grimes' driveway so he would have room to pull in behind her. She took a deep breath before she got out of the car. Glenn being here was a good thing. He was another one that Lori would remember from her dreams and maybe even Rick now. She felt sorry for Glenn really. She couldn't help but wonder if he had been dreaming about that world ever since the day he had delivered that pizza to her house. And then she couldn't help but wonder why her. Why was she the one causing all of them to see it? It didn't make any sense. She really wasn't anything special. Not now and not in that other world. Maybe she had been to Daryl, and was still, but that was him. She could almost understand that but not the others.

"Mom?"

She felt Sophia slide her hand into her own and give it a gentle squeeze. "You're doing fine."

She glanced at her daughter and smiled. How pathetic that the girl would feel compelled to try to make Carol feel better. She should have been the one comforting her daughter.

She nodded and the three of them climbed out of the car and then made a mad dash for the porch. Carol turned just in time to see Glenn climbing the steps after her. When he saw Carl and Sophia his face nearly crumpled and he ran his hand through his hair again. It almost looked like he was tugging on the wet strands. Poor guy.

Carol wasn't sure what to say to him. He was obviously having a hard time with this. The tears in his eyes were proof of that. She wanted to hug him and assure him that everything was going to be fine but she didn't.

"Glenn, are you okay?" Sophia asked softly.

He took a deep breath and then nodded quickly. "I'll be fine. As soon as I figure out what's going on."

Carl opened the door and they followed him inside. Lori and Rick were waiting in the living room. They both covered their mouths with their hands when they saw who was following them.

"Glenn?" Rick choked.

Glenn, who was apparently overwhelmed sat down heavily onto the chair by the door. He started shaking his head slowly. "This can't be happening. This isn't happening."

Carol knew that if Rick recognized Glenn now then his own dreams, at least, were still going strong. He would know about Shane and Lori eventually and she hated to think of the drama that it would cause. But she would worry about that later. Right now there was drama unfolding here and she couldn't waste her energy worrying about what would or would not happen later.

"Glenn, are you alright?" she asked as she sat down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

He looked at her and then up at everyone else in the room. They were all staring back sadly. "I don't understand how this is happening," he said quietly.

"Neither do we, but it is," she struggled to keep her voice as soothing as possible.

"Are there others? M-Maggie?" he nearly whispered the name.

Carol nodded. "I haven't found her yet but she's out there."

He put his head in his hands and groaned loudly. When he lifted his head again he looked a bit more calm. "Can you guys please explain what all of this means?" he asked, as he studied them miserably.

Carol met Rick's eyes and then Lori's. It seemed as though she was the one that was going to have to fill Glenn in on everything that was going to happen. Rick and Lori too since this was just as new to them. She suddenly felt very alone. In that moment she missed Daryl terribly.

~H~

He already missed her. He was such a pussy. He walked through the front door and grimaced at the mess that greeted him. Merle wasn't much of a housekeeper. Hell, he wasn't either but sometimes Merle could get downright nasty. It seemed as though every spare surface in the living room was covered in beer cans. He rolled his eyes at the mess in front of him.

He knew Merle was home because his bike was out front. "Merle!" he called loudly.

He heard the door to Merle's bedroom bang against the wall from the force he used to open it. "What the fuck are you doin' here?" He snarled as he came down the short hallway.

Daryl felt half sick. He wasn't going to be able to do this. But he did have to try. He needed to save his brother and if this was what he had to do to do that then he had to try. He shrugged. "You was right."

Merle narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "Right about what?"

Daryl knew that Merle wouldn't let him off the hook that easy. He was going to make this as hard as he could and Daryl was tempted to throw up his hands and walk right back out the door. The only thing that kept him rooted to the spot was the memories of how Merle was after Daryl had found him in Woodbury. He had saved all their asses, killing the Governor himself, and nearly getting himself killed in the process. That was the brother that Daryl needed to save. He took a deep breath and met Merle's eyes. "We're kin. She ain't... she ain't worth losin' my brother over."

Merle just stood there staring at him so Daryl left him to it. He went to his room and shut the door, dropping the bag down next to his dresser and then sitting down heavily on the edge of his mattress. He was still soaked but didn't care. He glanced around his sparsely furnished room and knew if he didn't get up now then he would just end up sleeping the whole day away.

He stood up and went to the window, peeking out the dusty blinds at the sheeting rain. This wasn't helping him get woken up at all. Turning he snatched up the bag and started shoving clothes back into his drawers. He wondered what Carol was doing at the moment. Had she taken Sophia to the quarry already? He wished he could have gone and watched. The kid was probably a quick learner and he was a much better shot than Carol was. Maybe next time he would take her himself...

He scowled and stood up. But that probably wouldn't happen because he had Merle to deal with so now he was stuck here instead of being able to help Carol and Sophia. He wished this was easier. He wished he didn't miss her. For a man that wasn't all too fond of being touched he found himself missing the feel of her hand in his. He even missed the way she got all bossy when he didn't do what she wanted him too. He scowled into the mirror. "You're turnin' into a big sap. Over a goddamn woman," he informed his reflection. His reflection had nothing to say back about the subject. With a sullen shake of his head he hunched his shoulders and was about to head back out in the rain to retrieve the money she had shoved at him.

Merle was sitting on his ass in the living room, beer in hand.

"Ain't it still early for that shit?" he grumbled on his way to the door.

Merle snorted and then took a drink. "Sure. If you're a pussy that can't hold his alcohol."

Daryl shook his head and stomped out onto the porch. He needed to invest in a cell phone so he could call her without Merle knowing about it. He could take some of the money and do just that but then he shrugged off the idea. What the hell was he thinking? He felt like a pathetic asshole. It wasn't going to kill him to go a few days without seeing her.

He reached under the driver's seat and grabbed the sack that he had stashed the money in. He didn't know how much she had given him. All he knew was that it was quite a bit. He'd be able to talk to a few of Merle's old buddies and then get his hands on some of the guns they would need. When he came back in Merle watched him carefully but he didn't say a word. He went right back to his room and slammed the door shut.

He counted the money quickly. It didn't take him long since each stack was bound and labeled with the stamp from the bank it came from. He stared at it, dumbstruck, before he shoved the stacks of bills into the inside pockets of the leather jacket that he hadn't worn since the weather had warmed up. He wasn't worried that Merle would go through his stuff and find it. That was one thing he was sure of. Merle knew that neither of them had anything that they wouldn't share with the other. Not until now anyway.

He didn't feel guilty because the money wasn't Daryl's and Daryl didn't have any right to share it with his brother since it wasn't his to share. Besides, Merle would be too quick to go spend it on drugs and that was the last thing he needed. He wanted Merle sober. He couldn't figure out why Merle wasn't getting bombarded with dreams like the rest of them had been. It had taken him a while but he had come to the conclusion that alcohol numbed the mind to the dreams. Sometimes he would drink himself into oblivion to avoid them himself. Especially at the beginning and while he was looking for Sophia. During that time he had started drinking more nights than not, to Merle's delight. He had enjoyed having a drinking buddy. Before the dreams Daryl hadn't drank a whole lot.

He needed Merle to remember the things that happened to him... or more like, he needed Merle to see what was going to end up happening. Things were already changing. They had already altered the events that would have happened just by talking to Rick and Lori. He was sure that Rick wouldn't end up getting shot and Shane and Lori wouldn't have a chance to be together. Not unless they were already having an affair. This thought really pissed him off for some reason. Rick was a good man that had tried hard to be a good leader and keep them all safe. Sure, he had made some mistakes but nothing that would make him worthy of a betrayal like that. Sure, Lori had told him that it had only happened because she was scared and she was alone but that could have been another lie. Daryl didn't trust her and he didn't trust Shane.

He recalled the drama that had unfolded even while they had all been desperately trying to survive. He hated to think of the mess the group would get themselves in if they were all prepared and nestled safely in some haven. He wasn't sure if he wouldn't rather face the walkers.

He made his way back into the living room and slumped down on the couch. The reception on their dated television was bad but not so bad that they couldn't watch it. Merle was watching a hunting show and Daryl couldn't help but glance towards the windows longingly. He wouldn't catch shit in a downpour like that so he couldn't even escape to the woods. He didn't need to do that anyway. He needed to keep a close eye on his brother and try to figure out a way to convince him that him and Carol weren't insane.

"How'd she take it?" Merle asked without moving his eyes from the screen. His tone only held a note of curiosity. There was no malice there at the moment.

Daryl shrugged. He wasn't too sure what the hell to say. If he had really told her that he couldn't see her anymore then how would she react? He really couldn't imagine himself saying it so it was hard to figure out what her reaction would be.

Merle finally looked at him. "Well, did she cry?"

Daryl frowned. He was pretty sure that if he'd honestly left her then she would have cried. She had looked like she wanted to cry even though she was the one that was making him leave. He nodded absently, figuring Merle would think she would have cried over it.

Merle grunted. "That's the curse of bein' a Dixon I 'spose."

Daryl rolled his eyes and slouched even further into the cushion. He wished there was something to do other than sit here and have this ridiculous talk with his brother.

"I knew she would be a wild one. You fuck as many bitches as your big brother here and you learn to read a woman from a mile away. I know the wild ones when I see'em."

Daryl grimaced but kept his mouth shut.

"I don't suppose you was smart enough to get yourself a partin' gift before you left her there, huh? You got here too quick for all that. Not unless you're one of them minute men." He chuckled.

Daryl felt his face heat up at that. They had been in her bedroom until after dawn. Daryl knew he was a lot of things but a minute man he was not. Merle needed to think that he'd had a change of heart. He needed to believe that Daryl didn't give a shit about her. He grunted and then forced a tight smile that he hoped was an imitation of Merle's.

Merle dropped it for a few minutes but Daryl wasn't lucky enough for him to let it go completely. "So, you really cut her loose, huh?"

Daryl picked up on the tone and sighed. Merle wasn't buying it. He didn't blame him for not buying it. All the shit he had said to Merle there in Carol's room was too much. Merle didn't trust him anymore. He wasn't a stupid man. Daryl had looked him in the eye and told him the he wasn't going to choose him over her again. He'd meant those words when he had said them and Merle had known he had meant them.

He was starting to think that this was going to be much much harder than he thought it was going to be. Keeping in contact with her wasn't going to be an easy thing. Merle was going to watch him like a hawk. He wouldn't be able to keep tabs on her the way he wanted too. He had to hope that she was strong enough now to protect herself from Ed because he had a feeling that he wasn't going to be around at all to protect her.

He had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"You gonna miss her?" Merle asked.

Daryl shook his head.

Merle eyed him and Daryl couldn't help but wish that Merle was as stupid as everyone thought he was. It would have made Daryl's life a whole lot easier. He was doing a lot of wishing today but something told him it wasn't going to do him any damn good.