My email is a complete mess and I am not getting a lot of the email notifications! Don't know what that is all about but it is annoying! Okay, a few of you are worried about Merle and the fact that he is being a super ass at the moment. All I can say about that is, we are talking about a guy that beat the hell out of T-dog after calling him the N word. Spit on him. Threatened the whole group. Kidnapped Glenn and Maggie. Beat Glenn half stupid. Threw Maggie to the Governor, knowing that she would likely be raped and then tried to feed Glenn to a walker. That is the Merle that I am writing about at the moment. He won't be like that for the whole story but I need him to be like that now. That Merle would gladly hand Carol and Sophia both over to Ed if it meant keeping his brother to himself. That is the vibe early Merle gave me anyway. I love the man all the same!

I won't make you guys wait for the next chapter because it is a really good one. I'll update again tomorrow night! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Much love =)

Steady Progress

Chapter Twenty Three

Daryl hit the highway in a much better mood than he had been in when he had set out on his mission this afternoon. He had made progress, even though it had been miserable. He had ended up spending the whole day with Dale. He had helped him with the radiator hose and then Dale had actually treated him to lunch. After that it wasn't too hard to keep the old man talking. And Daryl hadn't even had to say a whole lot.

Sure, he was uncomfortable most of the time but it had been well worth it. He had to do what he could to get their group together and safe, even if it meant going way out of his comfort zone. And he really had gone all out today.

Sometimes looking at Dale was hard. Daryl caught himself remembering the terrified and glazed look in Dale's eyes right before he had shot him and then he would have to shake the thought off. Dale talked a lot about his wife and brought up Carol several times. He asked questions that had Daryl nearly cursing out loud. He'd asked where they had met and then Daryl had to come up with something on the spot to keep from looking like a dumb ass. Dale thought they met on a camping trip. It wasn't really a lie.

It went a lot better than he thought it would. Dale really was a wise old fucker. He'd made him feel a lot better about the troubles him and Carol were having. Dale had even given him his phone number and told him to give him a call when they decided to "get back together" and he would take them up on that dinner offer. That was a good thing. He'd still cringed at the terminology but that was okay. At least he now knew that they really could form some sort of relationship with Dale, even if he didn't suffer from the dreams. He would never have to put Dale out of his misery. What he knew now that he hadn't realized the night that Dale had died was that they needed Dale. They needed to hold tight to everything the man had stood for.

Spending all that time with Dale also made him realize that he couldn't let Carol get away with being afraid. He'd never be able to tell her everything that he wanted too. Not in a million years, but he had to talk to her about that stupid shit she had said to him earlier. He couldn't let her just end the way things were now just because they were sort of together. Everything was basically how it had always been with the two of them. It was just that now they did a few more things than they had before. So what? They had had sex. He was a grown ass man and she was a grown ass woman and when two people became as close as the two of them had become then that was just the natural progression of things.

He wasn't a stupid man. He knew that, with the way they both were, it was going to be a hard ride. They had both suffered terribly at the hands of people that were never suppose to hurt them. He couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was afraid that he would end up turning into a monster himself. Did she think that he would hurt her? And him? He was just as bad. He expected pain and disappointment from every person that claimed to care about him because so far, with the exception of Carol, that was what people that cared did. They caused pain.

Yeah, they were a real mess and things were probably going to be hard for a long time, but they were going to come out on top in the end because he was sure that those things that made them weak to one another right now, would end up being their greatest strengths in the future. Given enough time she would learn that he would put a bullet through his own brain before he would ever hurt her. And hopefully, he would learn that she was someone that he could trust to not toss him away like he was nothing but filth. If they tried hard enough they could build one another up the way no one else ever could. He just had to convince her, some way, that it was all worth it. As soon as he came to this conclusion the day seemed much brighter than it had when he had left the house. There seemed to be a new urgency to make this strange relationship work.

His good mood plummeted when he pulled into the driveway and saw an unfamiliar car in the place that Carol's car was usually parked. He cursed under his breath and then forced himself to dampen down his anger. This must be Amy's car. And if this was Amy's car then that must have meant that Amy was babysitting Sophia while Carol went to see Ed. The thought made him sick but he took Dale's advice. He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. He remembered what she had told him about how she felt about the other man and then he opened the door to his truck and climbed out. He had harbored a little hope that she wouldn't go tonight just because she knew he hadn't wanted her too. But that was okay. He wouldn't scream or throw shit or tell her that she was a fucking moron and an asshole for seeing the guy. He would reign it all in and he would talk to her when she got back.

He didn't knock on the door. He just walked in like he owned the place. Sophia was sitting on the couch with Amy, a large bowl of popcorn sitting between them. They were watching a movie. Amy didn't seem surprised to see him and neither did Sophia, who gave him a knowing smile.

"You're Daryl," Amy said with a smile of her own as she got up from her spot on the couch. She wiped her hands on her jeans and then held it out for him to shake. He shook it and nodded.

"Mom isn't here," Sophia said. She hadn't bothered getting up.

"No shit," he rolled his eyes when all the little girl did was giggle.

"She told us you would probably come home. She isn't coming back until tomorrow morning," Amy said helpfully.

His stomach twisted into a knot and he could actually hear the blood pounding behind his eardrums. Surely not. Surely she wasn't going to spend the night with the son of a bitch! What the hell was wrong with that woman? Ed would most likely hurt her. He would hurt her bad for the shit she had done. He was starting to think that she really did have a death wish. But then again, maybe Ed really would try to fix things. Maybe he was trying to make it up to her right now. An image of the two of them together flashed in his mind. Ed kissing her. Ed's hands touching her.

He expected the rage. That was a natural thing for him to feel. What he hadn't expected was pain. Blinding and harsh and nearly knocking the breath from his lungs. The images in his head piercing his chest deeper than any dagger ever could. He thought maybe he was going to throw up. But even through the anger and the pain of betrayal he kept his wits about him enough to make sure he hid it from the two girls that were now looking at him curiously.

"She said she left something for you in her room," Amy said as she returned to her spot on the couch and grabbed the remote seeming oblivious to the knife that Daryl felt twisting in his gut.

Holding his breath he nodded again and walked down the hall. By the time he let out the breath and slipped into her bedroom his hands were shaking and bile was making its way to the back of his throat. He turned on the light and noticed right away the piece of paper folded in half that was lying on the neatly made bed. He was almost too afraid to read it. He just stood there, staring at it for a few seconds.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, heart pounding, palms sweating, and unfolded it.

Daryl,

You were right. I am an idiot. See you soon. I hope.

Love, Carol

Under that was an address. He read it over and over, letting it sink into his overworked mind. Letting the words on the page wipe away the last vestiges of hurt. She wasn't with Ed. She was actually waiting on him. He could have laughed at himself for thinking the very worst. Of course she wouldn't do that. She wasn't that big of an idiot. They had been through hell together and they had a connection that was stronger than iron. She wouldn't run back to her abusive fat slob of a husband.

He stuffed the note into his pocket and had to keep himself in check. He wanted to run to the fucking truck. He knew she was alone and he didn't want her to be alone. Especially after dark. It would be dark soon enough.

"Everything okay?" Sophia asked as he walked towards the door without a word to them. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at her.

Shit! He was glad that Carol was over whatever it was that had bit her in the ass earlier but was she crazy? Amy wouldn't be able to protect Sophia if Ed came here to start some trouble. His eyes flicked from the girl to the door longingly. He wasn't sure if this was the best idea he had ever formulated in his head but he had to do something or he wouldn't leave the house.

"Come here," he said quickly as he stormed back down the hallway towards Carol's room.

Sophia followed him wordlessly and then gave him a questioning look when he shut the bedroom door.

"Your mama teach you how to shoot?" he asked quickly.

Sophia's head bobbed. "Of course. She isn't stupid."

He nodded. "You got a gun in case your bastard daddy shows up here while Amy is keepin' a watch on ya?"

To his surprise she nodded again. "It's right under the cushion next to where I've been sitting on the couch. I know how to use it. Plus Glenn's on watch in case something happens. She has a cell phone and I have the number plus Rick and Shane are going to keep an eye on us too. She's taken care of everything."

He couldn't believe how thorough Carol had been. He should have known though. She wouldn't risk anything happening to Sophia. She didn't mind being reckless herself but she would go to any length to keep her daughter safe.

He ruffled Sophia's hair affectionately, surprising them both by the brief contact before he walked towards the door. "I'll see ya around, kid," he said quickly before he was out the door and hurrying to his truck. He had no idea what the hell that crazy ass woman was doing. All he knew was that he needed to get to her and he needed to do it now.

~H~

Sophia had actually enjoyed the movie Amy had brought with her. Amy was pretty good. She expected the older girl to treat her like a little kid but she didn't. Not really. They talked for a while after her mom left earlier. Amy told her all about her sister in Florida and told stories about growing up there. She talked about her friends and her job.

"So, I've been here for quite a few hours and so far all we've done is talk about me. What about you?"

Sophia looked up, a frown forming between her eyes. "What about me?"

"Well," Amy smiled, "What about a boyfriend?"

Sophia felt the blood rise in her cheeks and she shook her head. "I'm too young for all of that."

"You're twelve, right?" Amy asked, raising one eyebrow.

Sophia nodded quickly and looked back towards the television.

"Well, it'll happen soon enough, I guess. No settling for jerks, you got it?" she elbowed Sophia playfully, causing her to grin through the blush that hadn't went away yet.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Amy asked after a few minutes of silence.

"As long as I stay alive long enough to grow up at all, I'll be happy." She winced as soon as she realized the words had actually came out of her mouth.

"Oh Lord," Amy said sadly. "I think I'm gonna have a future Goth kid on my hands."

She found herself frowning again. "What the heck is that?"

Amy shrugged. "You know, those teenagers that dress all in black and wear white makeup and lots of eyeliner. They mope around brooding and serious all the time and are obsessed with vampires and death." Amy shuddered dramatically and made a face.

Sophia pictured herself looking like that and then she couldn't control the giggling that ensued when she imagined what kind of look Daryl and her mom would have on their faces. "I really don't think you would have to worry about that."

Amy sighed. "Thank God." She winked and then hopped up from the couch when her phone started going off. She looked down and grinned as she texted the person back. For some reason this made Sophia sad. Whoever was on the other end of that phone wasn't going to be alive in another month or so. She had been so focused on herself and the people that she cared about that she hadn't given much thought to the rest of the world. There were going to be whole families wiped out. Kids just like her and Carl. People with dreams and lives that were going to be cut short in a matter of weeks. No one suspected it. No one was going to be prepared for it. No one but her and her group.

How was it fair for them to use their knowledge to save themselves and not anyone else? What made their lives so much more important than that person that Amy was talking to right now? She suddenly felt very sick to her stomach. She felt sick because of guilt. Guilt that her and her family and her friends were going to survive comfortably after the world ended and so many other people were going to die. And they wouldn't just die. They were going to most likely die horribly and they would die terrified, just like she had.

"I think I'm gonna go ahead and go to bed now," she said quietly.

Amy looked up from her phone. "Are you sure? We can play a game or something if you want? Maybe watch another movie."

Sophia offered her a weak smile. "That's okay. I don't feel all that good."

Now Amy looked genuinely concerned. "Should I call your mom?"

"No!" she said quickly. Too quickly. Amy's frown deepened. Sophia sighed. "My mom and Daryl had a fight and if everything goes good tonight I'm sure my mom will be able to fix it. I'll be fine. Them fixing their problems is a lot more important than me having a stomach ache."

Amy smiled then. "You're a pretty good kid, you know that?"

Sophia grinned. "I try."

As soon as she was in the hallway the smile dropped from her face. She didn't feel like smiling. How was she going to save other people? She couldn't just run around telling everyone that the dead were going to rise and start eating them. People would think she was insane. But it wasn't right to let them die. It wasn't right to pretend like their own group was the only one that mattered.

She remembered how terrifying it was, running alone through the woods with those monsters chasing her. Even when Rick had found her she knew it wasn't going to matter. It was just a feeling she had deep in her bones. It was scary. She was going to die and she knew it. She had been so stupid for leaving the safety of her hiding spot that day. All she was thinking was that she needed her mother. She had gotten lost and then, after a few days of wondering the woods, cold and alone, she ran into more walkers. She had managed to get away from them but not before getting herself bitten. She didn't remember much after that. That was when the dreams weren't hers anymore. She saw them all. Watched quietly as a spectator as they searched for her. But she was a ghost.

She turned off her lamp and slipped under the covers. Maybe she would talk to her mom about it tomorrow. There really wasn't anything else she could do. She really hoped that her mom and Daryl made up. She knew that he was the reason her mom had been crying. She knew he hadn't hurt her like her dad used to hurt her but she still hated seeing her mom upset. She deserved to be happy and any idiot could see that he was what made her happy.