Chapter 30 – Holding On and Letting Go

It turned out that Vanessa was my size, so I was able to give her some of my clothes to wear. She'd only had one change, when she had run away. Her mother wasn't talking with her, and she refused to give Vanessa any of her other things.

I took some of my furniture out of storage and put enough things in the house that it was comfortable. The poor thing seemed terrified to leave the house, and I found out she seldom left the bedroom. She was locked in the room every time Billy came by to check on her. He would bring her some groceries and confided in me that he was really worried for her.

I went to visit her and saw she was, in fact, hiding out in the bedroom, and by the dark circles under her eyes, I could tell she wasn't sleeping. She needed to talk to someone. I called Ben and asked if he knew of a counselor in Forks. He did the accounting for everyone in town, so he'd know if there was one close by.

There was a free victims counseling clinic, and thankfully, I was able to get Irina, one of the counselors, to come to the house. Little by little, she was able to get Vanessa to leave her bedroom for more than just a few minutes. I was so happy that she was progressing so well.

I called Vanessa one morning to see if I could come by to visit and heard the lawnmower running. "Is Billy there doing the yard work?" I asked.

"No, it's his son, Jake. Do you know him?" she asked, sounding completely at ease.

"Are you alright with him being there?" I worried she was just putting on an act for my benefit.

"Yes, he's very nice. He brought me flowers," she said with a giggle.

"Okay, but if he makes you feel uncomfortable at all, call me or Billy immediately, alright? We won't have a problem telling him to leave you alone and keeping him away."

"No, no, I like it when he comes to visit. I made him cookies." She sounded so happy, and I really hoped Jake behaved himself. Vanessa had yet to leave the house and would be an easy target.

I called Billy and asked about Jake and Vanessa. "He's still in counseling and doing okay, and he seems to really like her. I told him he wasn't allowed in the house, though. He's only spoken to her through the screen door, but I do think she handed him a plate of cookies the other day. He knows she's got issues and is taking it easy with her, and I'm still keeping a close eye on him. He's only allowed to go by the house when I'm in town and able to check up on them."

"I've let her know to call you or me if he makes her uncomfortable. I really hope he doesn't scare her and set her back," I worried.

"I think they'll be okay. She seems to like his company. I think she may be lonely in that house by herself," he sounded concerned.

"It can be lonely, when you live by yourself," I said, remembering my days living there alone. I really hoped her loneliness didn't get her in trouble with Jake.

After two months of trying, we finally became pregnant. We were both thrilled, but we decided to not say anything to anyone in the shop for a while. The only problem was, the smell of just about everything in the shop made me sick. I couldn't even handle half of my scented oils I usually used for massages. I didn't think I'd be able to keep things under wraps for long.

I was halfway through a massage with Jerry, when the smell finally got to me. I hurried into the little side bathroom and lost my breakfast.

"I'm so sorry," I started.

"Are you sick? Do you have a stomach bug? Am I gonna catch it?" Jerry griped.

I didn't know how to answer him. If I told him no, I had a feeling he'd guess I was pregnant, and I honestly didn't want it getting around Edward's family yet.

"Well, speak up!" he snapped.

I gave in and answered him. "No, it's not contagious."

"Are you sure? My system can't handle another illness. You should probably move out of Ed's house until you're better. He has a compromised immune system with his kidneys being out of order."

"I don't need to move out, and Ed is fine."

"You may be a young spry chicken who can knock out a stomach bug or a cold in a weekend, but us older folk can end up in the hospital for months with your careless behavior!" he ranted.

There was no getting around it. "Jerry, you're not going to catch my stomach bug, because I don't have one," I insisted.

Edward chose that moment to step into the room with us and added his two cents. "But you do have a bug, honey. A tiny adorable one," his hand ran across my tummy. Jerry's scowl didn't let up right away, but I could tell when he got it. A wide smile spread across his face.

"So, she has a stomach bug, one that's not contagious," he said with a grin.

I blushed, and Edward kissed my temple. "Yes, but we're going to hold off on telling people, so if you don't mind keeping this to yourself…"

"My lips are sealed tighter than a submarine. Congratulations, I'm just sorry my Mabel isn't here for this. She would've been so excited. She and Elizabeth would be knitting up a storm."

I gave Jerry a hug, wishing I could have known the women who had been largely responsible for shaping Edward into the man he was today. "She was at the wedding, so maybe she's here for this, too," I reminded him of his belief that she watched over us.

"Yes, you're right," Jerry said, forcing a smile back on his face. "She's probably thinking of ways to bless the baby up a storm. It's good you two are starting your family young. So many people wait these days, and their older family members end up missing out. I'm happy I'll hopefully be around to meet my great-grandbaby. Now, if you could just talk your siblings into settling down, we'd be in business," he chuckled.

Edward had a knowing smile. "Oh, I think Emmett isn't too far behind us." I looked at him shocked, wondering what he knew that I didn't. He just gave me a wink, and I knew he'd tell me later.

A few days later, I could tell that the others were getting suspicious, but I didn't want to say anything to them just yet. I wanted to tell Billy first, because he was the closest thing I had to family, and I feared it would hurt his feelings, if he heard it from someone else.

When I called him, he was on his way to Vanessa's house, and I told him I'd meet him there. He was going to fix a leak in her sink. It must have been an easy fix, because he was already putting his tools away, when I drove up. "All done already?"

"Yup, easy as pie. I think she was a little disappointed it wasn't Jake who came to fix it," he grinned.

"She's been letting him in the house?" I asked, surprised.

Billy smirked. "Yeah, he's been in a time or two. She needed a light bulb changed and a picture hung."

My confusion must have shown clearly on my face, because he just chuckled. "Apparently, she's afraid of heights, so she can't change the ceiling light bulbs, and she was very fond of the velvet Elvis picture your dad had and really wanted it hung up, but isn't experienced with a hammer or nails. I'd bet money she's been trying to think up ways to have Jake come see her. She doesn't realize he'd be on her doorstep in a heartbeat if she'd just ask him. He's been really good about respecting your wishes and keeping his distance. He's worried he's going to misread her and set her back. I swear, the way those two dance around each other, I won't be walking her down the aisle until she's fifty. You're my only hope of ever having grandkids," he teased.

"Speaking of which," I let my hand drop to my flat tummy.

His eyes settled on my hand, and a wide smile spread across his face. "I'm going to be a grandpa?" he nearly shouted. I was sure all the neighbors heard him loud and clear.

I nodded yes, and he hugged me tight. "Little Bell, that's the best news I've had all week. How far along are you, honey?"

"A little over eight weeks. We were trying to wait until we were out of our first trimester to say anything, but my morning sickness is making people suspicious. I wanted to tell you first, before I told anyone else."

He gave me a big hug and kissed my forehead. "I can't wait to be a grandpa. This baby is going to be spoiled rotten."

I laughed, imagining the miniature fishing gear he would find. My heart ached, wishing my dad was around, but I knew Billy would do his best to fill in as the doting grandpa I knew my father would have been.

We heard a door slam across the street and turned to the noise, but didn't see anyone around. "I should check on Widow Uley. She's been under the weather lately, and she doesn't have anyone to look after her. Well, no one except for her niece, Leah. You remember her, don't you?" he asked.

I grimaced, nodding. Leah was Jake's crazy ex-girlfriend. I was surprised she wasn't in an asylum. "How's Leah doing?"

My tone of voice must have given away my true feelings, because Billy just laughed at me. "As far as I know, she hasn't been arrested or committed, so she must be doing alright. I try and steer clear of her. I know Jake swears it was him who busted his window, but the way he'd be on edge while watching her anytime he was within one hundred feet of her kind of gave him away. He doesn't realize I dated my share of crazy women, before I met his mother. Now, if I can just get those two together," he said, pointing at my house, "maybe I wouldn't worry so much about him picking up a nutcase at his head doctor's office."

I was worried that Billy might have been misreading Jake and Vanessa's relationship. He had been pretty blind to what had gone on with me and Jake for years. It wouldn't be unheard of for him to not pick up on something again. That was why I didn't up and run, when I saw Jake's truck pull up. I did step closer to Billy and take his hand in mine, though. He looked at me worried. "Do you want me to walk you to your car?" he asked me quietly.

As soon as Jake noticed my presence, he stopped in his tracks at the edge of the yard. His eyes darted between Billy and me, and a disappointed look crested his face, as he looked longingly at the house. "Ah, do you mind giving this to Vanessa for me?" he asked his dad, holding up a plate, not even bothering to say hi to me. I was honestly surprised by his distance in general. "I'll just set it over here." He went to set it on the tailgate of his dad's truck, not coming any closer. I glanced back at the house and saw Vanessa watching out the window anxiously. She was bouncing, like she trying to get up the nerve to come outside. I realized I had an opportunity to really see what was going on between Vanessa and Jake with my own eyes.

"Why don't you take it up to Vanessa yourself?" I suggested, and Jake's whole face lit up. I didn't have to tell him twice. He snatched the plate back up and ran to the front door that was open as soon as his foot hit the front porch. I tugged Billy along, so I could witness their interaction for myself and still feel as comfortable as possible in Jake's presence.

"I brought your plate back. I know it's customary to return it with goodies, but I thought it best that I give it to you empty and not risk giving you food poisoning," Jake said, looking a little bashful. Vanessa's eyes never left his, as she took the plate and hugged it to her chest.

"It's very sweet of you to not give me food poisoning," she answered back.

"Do you need anything done today? I have my tool box in my truck. Is that picture hanging alright?" he asked hopefully.

"The nail may be a little loose. Maybe you should check on it?" Vanessa suggested.

I looked over at Billy in disbelief. He was holding back a laugh. He wasn't kidding about those two. Whoever heard of needing a second person to "check a nail" like that?

"I'd be happy to look at it for you. You know, that back porch looks like it could use some fresh steps. Would you mind if I replaced them, Bella? I wouldn't mind covering the cost," he asked me, but his eyes never left Vanessa.

"Yes, one of the steps is definitely in need of repair," Vanessa chimed in.

"Have you been able to go out back?" I was under the impression that she was still struggling to leave her bedroom for an extended period of time.

"No, but when I looked out the back window, it looked like it might be loose," she said blushing, embarrassed.

Billy snickered a little and tried to hide it with a fake cough. I rolled my eyes at him.

I decided to put the hopeful pair out of their misery. "You can replace the steps if you'd like. I'm sure Vanessa would appreciate having a new set, when she's ready to try and go outside."

Vanessa looked like she was on the verge of squealing in excitement, and Jake's grin was huge. "I can start right away. I'll just need to get some supplies. It'll probably take a few days to get the job completely finished." I had a feeling he'd be stretching it out.

"That's fine. If you come early in the mornings, I can make you breakfast. You'll need to keep your strength up to do such hard work," Vanessa offered.

I had a feeling Jake wasn't going to go hungry anytime soon.

"That'd be nice. Do you think if I built a porch swing on the screened-in porch as well, you'd be up for trying to step outside with me…in the future…sometime?" he begged.

I was worried he was pushing her.

"With you, I'd be willing to give it a try. I think you'd need to hold my hand, maybe, just to keep me settled?" she said, looking at him bashfully.

"I'd be happy to hold your hand, if you think it'd help." Jake's eyes darted to me nervously, like he was asking for permission to possibly hold Vanessa's hand in the future. I wondered if I was what was holding the pair back.

"I think a porch swing would be a nice addition as well. Don't push yourself too much, though. You don't want to have a setback, Vanessa. Jake, you should maybe learn to tell when she's pushing herself too much, if you really want to help her with going outside."

"Oh, I know when it's too much. As soon as her hands start to shake, I'll get her back inside."

Poor Vanessa looked ashamed. "I didn't realize…" she whispered, looking at the floor.

Jake reached toward her, but quickly shoved his hand back into his pocket. He tipped his head, trying to get her attention. "Hey, now, there's nothing to be upset about." He sounded so sweet and sincere, and I saw a tear drop from her cheek. His hand reached out again, but stopped short once more. Vanessa must have seen it, because she reached out and took it in hers. He gently tugged her toward him invitingly. She released his hand and wrapped her arms around his waist. He hesitantly wrapped his around her, his eyes darting to mine and back down at her.

I gave him a smile and a nod, and he let out a relieved breath and rested his head on top of hers, hugging her a little closer. "You've been through a lot. No one is judging you, sweetie. We'll get through this together." She looked up at him, and he wiped her tears from her cheeks. She trusted him, and he was obviously a very different person with her.

Billy cleared his throat, breaking up their private moment. "I'm gonna head out. Bella, would you like me to walk you to your car?"

I looked back at Vanessa and Jake. She was still in his arms, and I'd swear it felt like we were intruding on them. "Yeah, that'd be nice. I'll see you guys later." They didn't even bother to let go of each other to wave, they just said goodbye, and we showed ourselves out. Once we were out of earshot, Billy thanked me. "I think he was holding back to respect your wishes to keep his distance from her."

"She really seems to like him," I said, baffled by Vanessa's interest in Jake.

Billy shrugged, understanding. "I think she brings out the good in him. His mom was the same way," he said, brushing my hair from my cheek. "I think when we meet the right person, they don't just make us happy, but better people as well."

We heard a crash come from the house, and we both looked toward it worriedly. Our minds were quickly put at ease, when we saw through the open drapes that Vanessa had bumped the table that held the returned plate, when she shoved Jake back toward the couch. We watched wide-eyed, as she pushed him down on the sofa and climbed into his lap, quickly attaching her lips to his. She was definitely the aggressor in the situation.

Billy started laughing. "Okay then, maybe I'll get grandbabies out of them soon, too."

I had a feeling that if it was up to Vanessa, he certainly would.