Chapter Nine: "Décor, Hiding and…oh dear"

"Have…have you ever been married?"

"…The fuck Ino?"

"I am serious; you did this all by your manly self?"

"Here we go…yes, yes I did, problem?"

"NO! God no! Just…are you sure this isn't a 1930's museum?"

"Quite"

After a great deal of hours walking since Kakuzu refused to hire a taxi or car in case they made themselves more noticeable so Ino and he had been strolling along through some woods, past the odd shop,

Yamanaka had been way off Kakuzu's interior, I mean, she thought it was going to be really simple and boring, animal print and fluffy or army and grass.

Classy Mansion wasn't even on her list.

Well…to be fair it wasn't a mansion, it was actually a normal sized house…well it looked normal sized. Heard the phrase like the Tardis?

Walking through the hall made her feel like it was her wedding day. A marble staircase, not unlike her own but more majestic, the burnished frames of cupboards and desks, open walls leading into more rooms, chanda-FUCKING CHANDALIERS! Frames of elegant oil paintings, immaculate windows, the air was clean and fresh; even warm…like god damn Christmas or something.

"What do you work as?!" she cried, a beaming spreading across her face as she dropped her bags and spun around.

Kakuzu couldn't even be bothered to raise his eyebrows…or even one.

"Can't say" he replied but she didn't seem deterred by his lack of response.

"Now this is fit for yours truly" she laughed loudly, hands on hips, now standing still.

"Do you have a maid to take my bags to my queen sized room" she giggled.

"Do you think I live with people? Take them up yourself, you can use the lift"

"YOU HAVE A LIFT!?"

"You want Kisame and I to waste our time on some girl?"

"You think we want to do it, yeah?!"

"Not really Deidara…but …really?" Kisame nearly whined.

"It's a harder job than you think" Sasori added, Itachi raised an eyebrow, doubtful, but he sighed and relaxed his shoulders.

"Fine, let's get this over with, what leads do you have?"

"Bitch stupid enough to answer her phone, that good enough, un?"

"I don't wanna kill some girly girl who has a mobile phone!" Kisame cried.

"What the fuck Kisame?" Deidara inquired, incredulous. "You're practically a monster; you can't kill one woman, yeah?"

"Don't like doing it, no fun!" was all the shark man replied childishly.

Inoichi took another swig of his red wine, the bloody liquid sloshed in the glass as he stared at it thoughtfully.

"Shit, I bet she is in some dank shed somewhere, poor Ino" he muttered wearily.

"I. Fucking. Love. You" Ino screamed.

Kakuzu even felt a pang of very, very, very mild sadness when he realised she only said it due to the room he had just presented her with.

Queens's size was an understatement; this was the size of the lodge itself.

The author is now quite bored with describing places and in her apathy she merely stated: Double bed, satin curtains, dressing table, walk-in-wardrobe, giant windows, and a chandelier and an on-suite…with a hot tub.

"Never going home" she muttered, inspecting the stunning bathroom.

Kakuzu sighed, with an amused shake of his head. Laying her bags beside the bed, he didn't expect her to come running up behind him and embracing him.

Which is why he fell onto the bed, with her on top of him…yeah…that's how it happened.

Nuzzling his chest, Ino snuggled contently.

Kakuzu went very rigid. Counting to ten in his head…but not out of aggravation; he was counting to ten, and if she wasn't off him by the time he finished, he would take her there and then.

…

'5…4…'

Ino began sitting up.

'3…2…'

With a graceless leap she was off him and rummaging through her bags.

"So what are we doing for dinner?"

Kakuzu didn't answer. He was telling himself that next time, it should only be five seconds.

"Should we order something? Or do you have a machine that makes your meals!" she smiled lightly.

He sat up, groggily as though awakening from a long sleep. Looking at Ino harshly, before his Christmas coloured eyes suddenly softened.

"Or if you really want since I am in such a good mood, I could make something" she started to mutter cheerfully, hanging up her clothes in the walk in wardrobe which was half the size of her bedroom at home.

Kakuzu's shoulders relaxed and his heartbeat drew to a steady pace.

"I'll make it" he said.

The young blonde turned to him in surprise. Kakuzu eyes opened suddenly, as though shocked by what he had said.

"Will you?" she inquired, just checking it hadn't been a subconscious thought, said aloud.

"Yeah, sure, what do you want?"

Ino blushed slightly, tucking some hair over her shoulder to mess with.

"Could you surprise me?"

Kakuzu could do that, easily, but to surprise her with a meal?

"…Probably"

"Okay, thanks!" she beamed, then closed the smooth wooden doors.

Her bodyguard got up and headed out.

"You can look around my house but don't go into the room which has a brass door handle"

"Is it down the west wing?" Ino added sarcastically.

"It is west from this point, but not quite" he replied seriously making Ino pout.

"But yeah…that's my room…don't even think about it"

And with that he left.

Ino waited until his footsteps were faint enough to indicate he was downstairs, and then turned to the bathroom.

"Hello gorgeous" she purred and collecting a fluffy white towel on the way, locked the on suite door.

"I'll make it? Since when?" Kakuzu grumbled to himself, taking off his black vest shirt he shoved it in a basket by the kitchen door and stretched. It's a good job he had bothered washing before he came to do dinner itself. He wasn't even remotely worried about coming in to cook late because although he didn't know women. He knew women. And any classy, stylish woman would spend time on themselves before a meal…well a meal in a place she considered fancy.

"I don't even know where to start" he lied to himself.

"Some lead, we don't even have connection anymore, don't tell me we have to wait until she calls someone or someone calls her, Itachi!" Kisame claimed.

There was amongst some trees in the place Sasori and Deidara had recorded the last call, and according to Kisame, they had left traces of scent and general presence. He wasn't going to comment aloud what kind of presence Kakuzu had during the time.

Itachi blinked slowly, crimson and ebony eyes flashing momentarily under the unnoticeable stress beginning to pulsate through his form.

He was really quite bored.

"Kisame?"

"Yes?"

"Do you really want to avoid killing the girl?"

Kisame's eyes squinted and he cocked his head back and to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"How about we give up on the mission, unless anything truly helpful comes up, this is a thankless task"

The shark man's eyes widened in surprise, Itachi…giving up?

"You know I am all for that"

"Fine…"

And that was that...right?

Ino removed the curlers from her flaxen locks to leave a perfect, bouncing twirl of gold. Grinning to herself with soft peach lips in the mirror, she could honestly say she looked gorgeous. Soft eye-liner and rosy blusher, she was going for a natural look. Her hair had been arranged in a waterfall of ringlets from her ponytail. The silver and cream clip by her ear twinkled in the lights the chandelier threw around the room.

Ino wore a crisp pristine blouse, tucked into a short skin tight black skirt that ended somewhere in the middle of her thighs. Her filled out heels were cream in shade, almost matching her flawless skin tone.

"Well Yamanaka, I think this is the time to see if your dear husband is finished making dinner" she giggled to herself. Standing up and stretching briefly.

She paused, looking straight down at the floor…was it wrong to say that despite everything, this past period of time had been the most fun she had had in…god...years, her father more often then not, didn't appear to give a damn about her…and she only ever met up with friends by chance. The countless men at the bars were just eager toys.

But…Kakuzu…actually cared about her, even if it was only because he was paid to do so, he looked after her, thought about her well-being, spent time with her…and had been the only guy to ever send fire into her abdomen.

Even when his eyes rolled with the apathy that would convince anyone else he was infuriated by the young woman's ideas and existence. A smile would twitch on her lips, he was warm and intriguing. Even as a stranger he impressed her.

Ino recalled the memories of the bar, the first time they met. It was so…ironic how everything had turned out…but she was glad it did.

Slapping a hand to her head she laughed nervously.

How soppy? She thought to herself and made her way out the door, closing it behind her.

Having been in the kitchen for a decent amount of time, he had almost missed the thick, delicious aroma that swirled around the room like sweet music.

Should have been a chef, Kakuzu thought to himself sarcastically, washing his hands in the sink. He was drying them on a towel when Ino wandered in.

Kakuzu didn't do double takes; double takes were for slapstick comedy films.

Oh wait; he just did a double take.

And he was under the impression the only good thing about his job was the money. Well…that's incorrect. Ino made things worthwhile as well.

She looked around the room with those enlightening eyes and smiled.

"This looks great Kakuzu! And smells amazing!"

Ino was already in front of him and pulling down his mask. He almost rolled his eyes, but closed them instead when she kissed him.

This better not become a regular thing, otherwise dinner can be later, he told himself, and continued being completely unaware that his arms were encircling her and his mauled tongue was invading her mouth. Soon entering and darting around her moist muscle.

A knee weakening sound escaped her and Kakuzu lifted her up further, taking it into mind he was a great deal taller than her and he didn't want to strain her body by constantly making her crane upwards.

Problem was solved pretty quickly when she was sat upon the counter and was running her lazy hands up under the canopy of the white scarf that covered his head. Kakuzu jumped slightly when strands of his dark hair was knotted and tugged, it only sent more primal urges through him and he hoisted her legs around his waist.

What the hell were they doing before?

A quiet but nonetheless audible groan came from Ino's stomach and they froze.

Oh yeah, dinner.

A/N: Sorry, not in a particularly romantic mood right now, I hope you enjoyed the chapter nevertheless!

#LAW09

To Andra Black: Ahahahaha, perhaps I am? I am a right little twit for cliffhangers and sudden-stops though. I'm so sorry for the late update! (I'm also a right little twit for that too) It's great to hear you think my portrayal of Kakuzu is good! I think he's an awesome character and I thank you for the review!

To Fantasy is now Non-Fiction: Haha, I had to think about it to be honest, but I'm pleased you think it suits, ahaha, thank you for the review!

To deadguysrule: Hahah, I'm glad you found it funny, I like throwing in amusing quips here and there so thank you for your praise and the review!

To Chick0785: Ahahaha, It's awesome to hear you've been reading my author comments (honestly don't know if/when people do) and by all means, nag! I deserve it! ahahah, thank you for the review!