A/N: There's some smut towards the end...

Can't you see it?

I was manipulated.

I had to let her through the door,

I had no choice in this.

I was a friend she missed,

She needed me to talk.

So blame it on the night

Don't blame it on me.

Don't blame it on me.

Blame it on the night.

Don't blame it on me.

Don't blame it on me

-Calvin Harris ft. John Newman, "Blame"

...

How are you okay?

I can't be around you.

Don't you feel the pain that I feel without you?

Cause I have to pretend that you don't make a difference, it's the lie I'm living in.

When does it go away, when does it go away, when does it go away?

-JOJO ft. Travis Garland, "When Does It Go Away"

When you lose someone it's never easy. It's frustrating to hear people constantly ask questions they already know the answer to. How could you be fine when you just lost someone, not just anyone but a friend? Yeah there will be tears but on the inside you either feel like absolute shit or you feel numb all over. To Cook it feels just like losing Freddie all over again, he didn't understand any of it. Naomi was doing just fine last night, laughing and even eating like bits of food that she could stomach. She was okay, she was doing fine. That was not the case. The gang fell asleep in Naomi's room all in uncomfortable positions but as long as Naomi was okay then so were they. Cook was the first to wake to Emily screaming Naomi's name while sobbing. He rushed over to Emily's side trying to pry her hands from shaking Naomi's lifeless body but that just made the twin angrier. Her heartbreaking screams were enough for her sister to wake up and possibly feel what her sister was feeling. Cook moved aside as Katie cradled Emily to her chest wanting nothing but to take the pain away from her other half. Jemima stood beside Cook her eyes puffy from lack of sleep, she stayed up the whole night with Naomi chatting with her. Jemima figured that Naomi knew that this would be her last night and that bothered her. The two girls spent the night reminiscing on old times, the cozy room filled with small laughter. Jemima stared at Naomi, it looked as if she were finally at peace but she knew her friend was scared about what happened after. Death was tricky like that. Some people weren't scared about dying it's just the after part that really gives you a mind fuck. Jemima hoped that wherever Naomi was now that it was somewhere she didn't have to question anything, that it was as peaceful as she looked at this moment.

Jemima felt a hand slip into hers and turned slightly to see Cook staring at her. His emotions flashed through his tired deep blue sea eyes for just a second before they were gone again. One emotion that was clear through those pretty intense eyes was pain. Jemima felt numb, Cook felt pain and a bit of anger. Death was not a friend of either of the two, Jemima had her history with death murdering her step-mother for molesting her at a young age and Cook felt his past swarming around inside his head. Freddie. Emma. Louie. He needed to go, he needed to run. He was ready to do so.

"Get out! All of you!" Emily screamed pushing her sister away.

It was silent as the four stared at Emily. When no one moved Emily roughly wiped her face searching around the room to throw things at her friends, "Fuck off!"

Jemima tugged on Cook's hand but he stayed put his eyes trained on Emily and Naomi. Vinny rubbed his face taking a step forward his hands held out cautiously as if that would stop Emily from throwing another object.

"We're not gonna leave you like this, sis."

Emily raised an eyebrow, "Oh?" She snatched up the lamp from the bed side table ready to throw it at Vinny but Cook intervened.

While the friends remained trying to cover themselves Cook grabbed onto her wrist staring down at her. Emily stared up at him as tears starting to rise, she slowly let go of the lamp allowing Cook to hold onto it.

"I know it hurts right now, Emily. I know you want 'Omi back, and I know you want to be alone. But don't push away the people you love and need cause you'll regret it. I'm not gonna tell you some bullocks about saying she's in a better place right now because I know you don't want to hear that shit and Naomi would probably snort if I said that, yeah? It may feel like the end of the world right now but think of her. She wouldn't want you like this, she loves you. She's probably off right now looking for a pint and crackin' shit jokes. Just 'cause she's not around walking on earth with ya right now doesn't mean that's she not with you. She's just in there," Cook says carefully pointing to Emily's heart.

Emily let the tears fall her face struggling to hold the tears back the tears, she balled up her fist pounding them over and over into Cook's chest but they did not hurt. She pressed her face in Cook's chest sobbing and Cook did nothing but try to hold her upright from falling to the floor. Vinny walked over taking the lamp from Cook's hands and Katie sat on the floor beside her sister stroking her hair. After what felt like hours of Emily sobbing she croaked, "I still want everyone to fuck off."

Cook carefully allowed Katie to pull her sister's head into her lap as he stood. Jemima's face now held dry tears against her honey amber cheeks, he looks away from her to see Emily moving to lay her head on Naomi's chest. Katie pointed to the door and Jemima led the way out. The four stood in the middle of the living room lost for words. Katie ran her hands through her long brow hair sighing, "I don't know what to do. I knew this was comin' but I don't know what to do to make this better."

She brushed away the tears that were starting to build up by the corner of her eyes.

"There's nothing you can do but be there for her, just be her sister. It's not something that she can just get over, time takes time." Cook encouraged squeezing Katie's shoulder.

Katie returned the gesture with a small smile, "Didn't know you could be so fuckin' inspiring," She teased.

Cook chuckled, "Comes with experience."

Vinny looked at the clock that was on the wall, "Can't believe that it's almost 1 already."

Katie nodded, "Why don't you two go explorin' and come back later? I want to keep an eye out for Emz, plus I have to make phone calls to the doctor and Naomi's mum."

Jemima and Cook shared a look but decided to do what Katie suggested. They figured it would be best to get away from it all since death always found a way back to the two. With a promise that they'd be back they left Katie and Vinny to deal on their own.

Jemima drove around London in Vinny's rental car while Cook focused on finding some good songs on the ride. There wasn't much to say but oh was there was so much to feel. Jemima's cell phone would not stop ringing since the two got in the car and Cook peeked over to see that it was Rex's face appearing on the screen. Jemima looked as if she wanted to throw her phone out of the window, but she did finally turn it off tossing it into the backseat. Jemima pulled up to the back of a brick building shutting the car off and unbuckling her seat belt, Cook looked around but got out the car welcoming London's breeze. Jemima walked over to his side of the car and threw her arms around his neck pulling him into her embrace, she needed a hug and she demanded one just now. Cook did not hesitate to rest his palms on her lower back pressing his nose into the side of her neck, her chin dug into his jacket covered shoulder as they enjoyed being in each other's arms.

Jemima sighed, "Why does everything continue to be so fucked?" She muttered squeezing Cook tighter.

Cook bit down on his bottom lip before answering, "I dunno. If it wasn't then we wouldn't really be living life, would we?"

Jemima pulled back but kept her arms locked around his shoulders, she said nothing as she pressed a quick peck to his lips and dropped her arms to lock her hands with his pulling him towards the brick building. Don't ask her why she just did that. Of course she shared many kisses with Cook before but that was so long ago, she fought the temptation to fully kiss him back home but she didn't see the harm in doing what she just did. Lots of friends pecked each other on the lips from time to time, hell family members did too...but Jemima knew she did it for a different reason. Cook stared at the back of Jemima wondering what that was all about but he would not bring it up, not now. He was welcomed with the smell of peppermint, coffee, and bread. The hallway was narrow but opened up as a set of stairs dipped down to the wide sitting areas, Jemima seemed to know of this place well as she found a booth for the both of them to sit. This place was nicely decorated with art against the charcoal grey walls, interesting styled lamps, and rustic wood floors. It was calm which was what both of the friends needed.

Jemima picked up the small menu that lay against the table, her see through green eyes scanning quickly over the words. Cook watched her for a moment admiring how a few strands of dark brown fell from her ponytail, how high her cheekbones were and how her freckles stood out underneath the light. She was dazzling and that a lot coming from Cook because he never used words like that, at all. Jemima looked up at him and smirked, "Whatcha looking at?"

"You," He smiled picking up the paper like menu.

Jemima rolled her eyes, "I know I'm fascinating James but let's keep the creepy looks to a minimum, aye?"

Cook snorted his eyes now scanning over the food choices, "Whatever you say."

The two returned to their menus with smiles on their faces. Soon a waiter came by asking what he could get them to drink and by the time he came back with drinks they decided with what they wanted. Jemima was enjoying her turkey sandwich with chips and a pickle on the side while Cook ate his unhealthy looking burger and chips. While they waited on their dessert Cook played with Jemima's fingers which as a psychologist Jemima figured that her best friend had something to say but didn't know how to say it.

Jemima dipped her head trying to gain Cook's attention, "What's oan yer min'?"

Cook looked into Jemima's eyes holding her stare. He parted his lips getting ready to say what's entered his mind since the two pulled up to the brick building. Jemima waited patiently knowing that when she asked questions for her patients it almost took up the whole session for them to start opening up. She stopped her thinking process right there because this was not a patient, this was James Cook. Her best friend, her James Cook.

"I'm ready to tell you everythin'," He breathed flicking his eyes downwards to her fingers.

Jemima used her free hand to finish off her drink and took a deep breath giving Cook her full attention.

Jemima kept her comments to herself as she listened to Cook explain everything starting from getting revenge for Freddie's death. Jemima was tensed knowing that would be where Cook would have to start off from. Cook tried to keep Jemima calm as she gripped on Cook's hand describing to her when he climbed in through John Foster's window, how he searched around for Freddie but found nothing but bloody clothes in a bag with Freddie's name on it. Jemima felt anger and hurt pulsing through her veins knowing that was the only evidence the so called police found and tested to determine that all of that did belong to her cousin. Cook described to her what he was feeling at the point and how he could not stop his hands from colliding into that sick fuck's face, beating him to death.

"We weren't on the best of terms but he was my mate. I loved that kid," Cook spoke.

Jemima ran her hand over her face stopping her hand at her mouth her eyes closed tight, "Go on."

"I went home after beating the fuck outta 'im. I've never lost control like that before, I...I didn't know what to do. I thought about callin' ya but I didn't want you involved in all of that. I didn't want to go back to Karen and tell her that her brother is dead, especially since she was the one to tell to search for him. I waited, I don't know why I waited but I did. Couldn't stop my hands from shaking and couldn't clean the blood off my hands, and as soon as the coppers came knockin' on my door I snapped out of it. I didn't want to go to jail, those wankers already had it up it here with my shit plus I was just off probation. They would throw me right in jail and I didn't want to go there, I couldn't go there I haven't lived my life yet. But I ran just like like that and I blame myself. I blame myself for always fighting with Freddie, over something so stupid...over a girl. If I didn't maybe he'd still be here and I wouldn't be on the run."

Jemima reached over the table grabbing Cook's face into her hands, "Don't ever blame yourself over this! Nobody could have known this would be the way his story ended. He wouldn't blame you, it's not your fault, Freddie's fault, or Effy's. If you want to put the blame on someone you put it on that fucker who ruined everything."

Cook shook his head roughly, "No! There's always someone to blame and it's usually starts with yourself. Don't you see? I am a walking tragedy everything I touch or love is bound to get hurt. I left for three years and got mixed up in the drug dealin' business as if I thought that everything would be better there, well it wasn't! I am haunted everyday for the things I've done and in the end I will pay for it."

Jemima shushed him looking around to see if anyone paid attention to them and was happy to see that no one bothered.

"Stop it. You've learned from your mistakes you're making up for them, you are not who you were three years ago or back where yur were dealin'. You're James Cook but that it just a name, you are everything you love and fight for. I know you will better yourself, fuck I've seen it. I've seen the way you've changed and I still love you."

Cook felt tears burning his eyes, "I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to stop fuckin' up or trying to fix things. I have to make it right."

Jemima listened to him tell her about Emma and how his lust took over for Charlie ruining a relationship he could have stuck with. He told her about how Charlie was known for sleeping with a boy he worked alongside with and was killed by his boss Louie, he told her about how he had to protect Charlie which ended up getting his girlfriend (or friend's with benefits) and her family killed. Louie was after them and as he was beating Louie he felt everything built up again, he almost killed him but he stopped. Charlie was off somewhere now and Cook didn't know where, Louie was also in prison but didn't know how long he had. Jemima now understood that he wanted to make it right, it all made sense. Cook's been through so much shit through his whole live and all she wanted to do was be there for him. That was exactly what she planned to do.

The two were back in the car now two hours later riding around enjoying the sights. Jemima pulled into the park entrance and the two friends walked side by side noticing that the sun was starting to set. Jemima led Cook over to a tree sitting down on a blanket she found in Vinny's backseat, the two sat side by side smoking away the troubles of the day.

"Thanks for tellin' me everythin'," Jemima mumbled her eyes getting redder from each inhale.

Cook nodded, "I knew I would tell ya...I just didn't know when. I had to get it out and I knew you would understand."

When the joint was finished Cook tossed it away from the two and stared at the sun watching it very slowly disappear. The sky looked as if it were painted with red, orange, and purple it was a lovely sight. Jemima had her head resting on Cook's shoulder enjoying the view, he had one arm around her massaging her ear knowing that also made her calm. For some reason this aroused Jemima, she loved to be kissed behind her ear and often played with her ear when she got nervous but now it felt as built up emotions were starting to rise. Jemima lifted her head slightly staring at Cook, his attention remained on the sky but that was cut short when she pressed a soft kiss to his chin. His eyes met hers and he saw her see through eyes turning darker. That pushed him to place his lips on hers, Jemima gasped placing her hands onto his jawline pulling him to her. Cook parted her lips with his own letting his tongue slide into her mouth. His hands gripped tightly onto her waist almost pulling her into his lap, she allowed her tongue to press lightly against the back of Cook's teeth which made him moan earning a smirk from her. Cook pulled back feeling the bit of saliva part from each other's lips to get a good look at her. Jemima stared back at him wondering what he wanted to do next, when she bit down on her bottom lip that's when Cook pushed her back against the blanket towering over her frame once more to connect their lips in another heated kiss.

Cook's kisses were rough and fast almost to the point where he left bruising. Jemima kisses slowly and passionately which caused the other to fight for dominance, Jemima shoved her hand underneath Cook's t-shirt to feel his cool skin against her fingertips. Jemima could feel his muscles tensing at her touch as he started grinding his hips into hers. Jemima's shortened breaths and tugs on his Cook's hair was enough to let him know that she wanted more. She shoved him back quickly staring at his with wide eyes as she placed her fingertips to her mouth, "No. I can't do this to Rex, no matter how much he pisses me off I won't be that girl."

Cook forgot all about her fiancé and immediately knew that this was wrong. Haven't her learned from messing with Charlie, but somehow spending the past two days with Cook was a major wake-up call. Jemima rubbed her face laughing, "Any other time I would allow you to fuck me but I can't believe I forgot I will be a married woman soon. I can't believe I'm being so stupid right now, I thought I was over you."

"What are you on about?" Cook asked leaning back on his hands.

Jemima shot him a look, "Don't try and act like you don't know what I felt for you."

Cook paused, he was so in love with Effy he didn't think much about it. He slept around with Jemima for awhile after Effy started dating Freddie but he just thought they were having fun. He didn't know that she felt something for him, she was his best friend and he claimed he knew her but he was not aware that she loved him.

"Jemz..."

Jemima shook her head pulling her hair out of her ponytail getting ready to redo it, "No fuck it. Fuck this and fuck you. We're best friends and that's all we're going to be. I'm getting married and that's that."

After fixing her ponytail and she started to get up, she sighed as Cook yanked on her wrist pulling her into his lap. He wrapped his hands tight around her waist keeping her tight against him ignoring her struggles. He pressed his lips against Jemima's ear, "I wasn't aware back then but I know you still feel something for me. I find you stunning, always have but I was too much of a prick to notice back then. Do you feel that, you make me hard. Do you feel my heartbeat? You make the blood rush towards it to keep it pumping. I'm sorry for making you feel like shit but I do love you."

Jemima leaned back to stare into his eyes and she knew when Cook lied, she would call him out on it. All she could see is truth, she caressed his face running her fingers over the slight stubble growing on his chin. Jemima pulled on his belt trying to get his pants off as his hands slid into her ripped jeans brushing her lace panties aside, Jemima pulled his hand out turning to fully get his pants and boxers off. Cook quickly pulled her jeans and panties off allowing her to get comfortable on his lap, he stuck his fingers into his mouth before roughly placing them inside her. Jemima tensed digging her back into his chest, Cook quickly pulled his fingers out placing them back into his mouth to get a taste and to wet his fingers again. Slowly this time he placed his fingers back into her heat, his fingers pressing and curling as Cook placed kisses up her neck. Jemima placed her hands on top of his guiding her but she was picky, she ripped his fingers out feeling him against her stomach. She lifted herself up and positioned herself at Cook's tip, she slowly pressed herself down his shaft until Cook jerked himself upwards allowing him to fully slip inside. Jemima cried out in pain as Cook started to move, "Slow...slow...slow." Cook pulled all the way out before entering her again at a much slower pace. He was known for going fast opposed to Jemima wanted to go slow, this brought back so many memories to Jemima wanting to please him but this time Cook wanted to please her.

Finding a matching pace Cook let out a few moans as Jemima clenched around him a few times while meeting his thrusts. Cook was definitely a talker and demanded to be heard in bed, things didn't seem to change when he guided Jemima's hands to grab his balls. "Ah, shit! I'm balls deep in ya!"

"Shut up!" Jemima panted back trying to find her release.

Their moans and pants were quite loud it was shocking how the guards didn't approach them. Cook used his fingers to help Jemima orgasm and she listened to his request squeezing his balls as they both climaxed together.

Jemima yawned as she put her signal light on, she stared down at Cook's hand on her thigh and wondered how the hell she was going to explain herself to Rex. Sighing she turned down a street and waited for Cook to question her.

The twenty-one year old stared out the window with confusion written on his face, "This isn't the way to Naomi's...where are we going?"

Jemima tightened her hand on the steering wheel, "To see Effy."

Cook felt the wind leave his body. Why was she doing this to him? Of course he found out that Effy lived with Naomi since there was another bedroom in the house that he peeked through and saw a photo of Effy. He was not sure that he was ready to face her after everything that happened, but he knew that he would have to.

.

.

.

Jemima and Cook sat side by side in two chairs waiting. Cook fidgeted in the chair and Jemima rested her hand on his thigh stopping his leg from bouncing. He looked over at Jemima and she gave him a nod as the back door opened a guard standing by a familiar girl. The girl hesitated by the door but with a shove and a glare she started walking towards the two. She plopped down in the opposite chair her eyes meeting Jemima's first and looked over at Cook her eyes unreadable. Her pale skin looked a bit paler, her dark hair was still a little messy and had no ringlets at the bottom but her hair looked shorter almost cut lopsided. Jemima wondered if someone did her hair like that or did she do it herself, her eyes focused in on Cook for a while and Cook stared back. Effy's eyes went back to Jemima as if to question if Cook were real or if this were a dream. Effy leaned back in her chair resting her hands against the edge of the table and gave the two her signature smile.

A/N: ONLY one more part left before I end it. I'm thinking of writing a Luke OC next but I don't know if you guys would like it. How are you all feeling?

-ALovelyEccentricSoul xXx