"No!" I shrieked! I was mortified. C'hristmas Mary tried to comfort me but I threw her off and ran to my room, crying. Dumbledore chased me but stopped at my door. Because if he'd gone in it'd be weird.

I began to cry glittery tears and the glitter got all over my clothing. Stupid Art Herpes. I took off my clothes and got into the bath. I put some pink bubble bath and bath salts in it. The bubbles surrounded me as the tub water turned pink. I turned on Drake and cranked it up all the way. I grabbed a T-Bone steak and stuck it to my chest. The blood from the raw meat slid down my body and I sighed.

Why did I do that?

I got out of the tub and put on a white summer dress with a cute floral design and white flip flops with daises on them. Then I put rose earrings in my ears. I couldn't believe this. Then I peeked out the window and gasped. Snape was was video taping me! And Loopin was masticating on a a ham and cheese sandwich to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"UGh you people are freaks! Stop looking at me!" I screamed and put on a fuzzy pink towel that had 'princess' written on it. Just then, Pixie Boy ran in!

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin, pointing his stomach at them. I took out a pink gun and shot them a bunch with pink panda bullets and they screamed. The camera was broken. Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in.

"Ivory, it has been revealed that someone has-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, looking at Snape and Loopin and he waved his wand at them. Then...Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said, "Everyone, we need to talk!"

Or, at least that's what we thought he said. We watched as he ran around on the ground, mounted on his broom like a child on a broom-horse. Then he pulled out a mega phone and yelled to us through it.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a stupid Hogwarts student!" Nobody in particular yelled down to him.

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." he paused. "BUT I'M ALSO A PASTAFARIAN!"

"This can't be!" Snape said, his bloody hand dripping everywhere. "There must be other factors.

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I screamed wildly.

Loopin held up the camera happily. "The lens may be ruined, but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when your glitter-levels are low.

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin asked. At this point I had zoned out because the conversation was boring and made no sense.

"BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hargrid said and paused, shooting into the air on his broomstick finally. He waved his wand and sang to the tune of a preppy version of a song by Evanescence.

"Because you're a prep?" Snape asked, a little irritated.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" he screamed through his megaphone, causing our ear drums to shake.