I'm really sorry about this chapter. It basically sucks but I fought through the writers block to get it out. I was hoping I would get back into the groove once I kept going but I don't think it worked out that way. Either way, it's an update. Thanks for reading, as always! Good luck to all of you that will be watching the show tonight!

Nervous Breakdown

Daryl studied his brother carefully as Merle packed the back of the pick up truck with supplies. He was in a fowl mood and had been all day long. He was constantly snapping at everyone around him and he kept to himself for most of the day.

"I figure we should probably head out at day break," Daryl said once Merle finally turned from the truck bed.

"Good," Merle grunted, not turning around. He stomped over to the corner where they had readied several gallons of gasoline. He began hauling the gas cans over, lining them up so they could load them before they left out in their search for a psychopath.

"You wanna talk about what the hell's got a burr in your ass?" Daryl asked as he leaned against the wall, crossing his legs at the ankle.

Merle spun around, glaring. "Do I look like I wanna talk? Goddamn! Can't ya at least pretend like Carol ain't got your damn balls tucked into her pocket?" He scoffed and shook his head. "Talk. Jesus."

Normally Daryl would have gotten riled at Merle's words, if not his tone. Today, however, he felt pretty relaxed. At the mention of Carol his mind went back to when he had found her in the shower earlier. The way the water traveled down the straight lines of her back and over the perfect curves of her...

"Hey!" Merle barked, causing him to jump slightly before his head shot up and met his brother's angry gaze. "What in the fuck has you grinnin' like that?"

Daryl hadn't been aware that he had been grinning at all. He shrugged and pushed himself away from the wall. "Nothin'," he grumbled but Merle just looked at him skeptically.

"Nothin' my ass." Merle stormed past him and out into the late Georgia afternoon. Daryl followed him with a sigh. He wished he knew what was up with Merle. He hadn't seen him this riled up in a long time. Merle had become very good at keeping his temper in check and his bad moods at bay. Today was not one of those days.

Daryl ignored his bitchy attitude and followed him towards the house. "I figure Sophia might be able to tell us which way to go. Maybe if she concentrates she can find him."

"The kid ain't a goddamn compass. How the hell do you expect her to lead us to this son of a bitch anyway?"

Daryl shot him an exasperated look. "I don't know, Merle. Maybe cause she can see the fuckin' future and even put it in other people's heads. Why would you think she couldn't lead us right to him?"

Merle stormed up the steps grumbling under his breath before he yanked the door open and disappeared inside. Daryl lingered out there, watching after him and rubbing the back of his neck absently. This was going to be a long couple of days if Merle's mood didn't get any better soon. He couldn't figure out what the hell his problem was.

With a weary sigh he went inside. He was greeted by the sounds of shouting from the other end of the house. With a curse he took off in that direction, wondering what else was going to go wrong today.

~H~

Sophia glanced up as Carl walked into the bedroom she shared with the other girls. She was the only one in the room at the moment and it was a rare occurrence.

"Hey," Carl muttered as he flopped down next to her on her bed.

"Hey," she glanced up with a frown. He sounded off. "What's wrong?"

He shrugged lightly and shook his head. "My mom and dad are fighting. You know, the usual."

She bumped her shoulder into his, causing him to look up at her. "At least they are kinda talking now. It's more than they did last week."

He smiled but there was no humor in it. "I guess that's one way to look at it." He sighed and then turned so his body was facing hers. He met her eyes and held them for a long moment before looking down. "You're really leaving tomorrow, huh?"

She knew this conversation was coming. They had been skirting around it for a while. The thing that she hated about it the most was that it was going to be one of those discussions between them that was just too grown up. It seemed like there were times when she felt like the two of them were already grown, just trapped in these small bodies. Their minds were a far cry from the minds of the children they had been before. They had seen too much. They had lived too much. "I don't have a choice," she said guardedly.

"You do have a choice. You're just being stubborn."

She narrowed her eyes and stood up, hands crossing in front of her as she glared down at him. "Are you serious right now? He kills you, Carl. He kills my parents. He slaughters everyone. And you tell me I have a choice? That I'm being stubborn?"

Carl watched her calmly. "I'm saying that Daryl and Merle and your mom can find him without you. You don't have to go with them. Anything could happen to you out there."

"I can find him. I can... I can feel him out there. And if I can help stop him then that's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to hide here and hope for the best. I want him dead."

He nodded and ran a hand over his face. It reminded her, annoyingly, of his father. Merle didn't like Rick, therefor she didn't like Rick either. It wasn't very fair but it was the way it was. "So I guess I'm wasting my breath trying to talk you into staying here?"

She huffed and then sat down next to him again. "Carl, if something was going to happen then I would know it."

He shook his head. "Do you see yourself finding him?"

She hesitated, looking away. "It's fuzzy. Nothing is concrete yet but I'll know more once we get out from behind the walls."

He sighed. "I just wish I could go with you."

"There isn't anything you can do out there. I'll be fine. After this I think that we'll finally be okay."

He stood up and paced the floor in front of her for a moment reminding her, strangely, of Daryl. "How many years in the future did you see all of this happen?"

She shrugged. "I think it was at least ten years."

"So why now?" He stopped in front of her with his hands on his hips. "Why do you have to go out there as a twelve year old girl? If we wait a few years we'll both be stronger. We'll be ready."

"And how overrun will the world be then? Going out may not be an option," she said angrily as she stood up to face him. "And what about the people he will most likely kill before I can get to him, huh? Is it okay for those people to die? Just forget about them because they aren't us?"

Carl put his hands on his hips and she mocked his stance. "I don't want anyone dead. But I sure as hell aren't ready to lose you again. You can't fix this world, Sophia. No matter how much you want too."

She took a step forward until they were only inches apart. "I'm not aiming to save the damn world, Carl. I'm trying to save mine. You and Daryl and my mom. Our kids. I lost them all you idiot! Stop acting like I have a choice here. I don't." Sophia couldn't help but feel like she had had this argument a thousand times with him. They always argued over how to go about doing things. She had done it his way in the beginning, keeping everything to herself and actually projecting this weird thing onto the others. Now she wanted to actually do something to help them all and Daryl was giving her a chance to do it.

Carl finally hung his head in defeat. "Fine. Go ahead and do it your way. Just be careful, okay."

She sighed. "I will. Do you really think Daryl or Merle would let anything happen to me?"

He glanced up at her before he walked out of the room. "It isn't like I expect them to throw you at a walker or anything. It's just that sometimes things just happen. Not everything happens for a reason, Sophia. Just be careful." He didn't wait for her to respond. He walked out, shutting the door behind him.

~H~

Andrea glared at Lori. The thing that had her so angry wasn't what Lori was accusing her of really. If Lori had come to her alone then she would have been more than happy to talk to the other woman about the things that were going on. But Lori didn't handle it like that. Apparently Lori thought it best to bring it all up here in the middle of the dining room when there were at least twenty other people standing around. And that pissed her off to no end. Amy was watching, wide eyed, from the doorway.

"So, if Rick isn't going to tell me the truth then you can!" Lori shouted again.

Andrea clenched her teeth together and took a deep breath. "If you want to talk then we can talk somewhere else. I'm not doing this here, Lori."

Lori's eyes flashed angrily and Andrea noticed Daryl step into the room, scanning the faces and analyzing the situation. Carol appeared in the other doorway to the kitchen and Andrea felt her stomach twist when Carol's eyes met Daryl's. They didn't need to say anything to each other to convey a million messages and Andrea found herself more envious than she had been of anyone in her whole life.

When Carol's eyes met hers Andrea had to look away. It wasn't that she was jealous of Carol because she wanted Daryl. She had never wanted the man. Not in any reality. She could see the appeal of him, that was obvious, but she never found herself wanting the man in any way. It was more that she was jealous because she wanted whatever it was they had. She didn't have time to dwell on it however because Lori took a sudden step towards her.

"We'll talk about it now. You owe me that!"

Andrea shook her head and braced herself for a fight. She wasn't much of a fighter but she would be damned if she was going to let Lori put her hands on her. She wanted to talk to her. She wanted to get it all out in the open. She understood why Lori was this upset but there were better ways to handle a situation than in the middle of a crowded room. "I'll talk to you somewhere else," she said in a low voice.

Lori laughed. It wasn't a humorous laugh either. It sounded a bit unhinged. "Do you have any control over yourself? Who's next, Andrea? Martinez? Him and his wife seem to be doing good. Do you plan on messing that up too? Or maybe Hershel? Jim and his wife have a great relationship so I guess they better watch out too, huh? Or maybe you've got your sights on Daryl now. Is that it?"

Andrea's eyes shot up to Daryl and his face reddened. "Hey! Don't be bringin' me into this shit!" He fumed.

When she looked back at Lori she forced a smile for the other woman. "Your marriage was falling apart before I ever came here and you know it. And it wasn't because of anything I may have or may not have done. It's because he knows that you have it in you to jump in bed with his best friend. It's because you ripped his heart out. You're the reason Shane died that night."

Lori paled. "That's a lie."

"Is it?" Andrea snapped. "He told me. He told me everything at the prison. He told me about what you said to him in the tent that day he brought Randal to the farm. He told me that you asked him if he would kill to protect what was his. What did you tell him when he told you that he would? You told him that Shane thought you were his. That Carl and the baby were his. You didn't come out and tell him to kill him. But you planted that seed in his head and you did it knowing what the outcome would be!"

The room had grown deathly silent. Carol's hand was covering her mouth. Lori grew deathly pale but this was all her doing. Andrea wanted to do this where the rest of them wouldn't hear but Lori pushed her. And she wasn't finished.

"And then what did you do when you found out Rick killed him?" She asked in a cold voice.

Lori shook her head and took a step back, tears clear in her wide eyes.

Andrea scowled. "You pushed him away. You looked at him like he was filth. He told me everything Lori. And that is why your marriage is falling apart. That has nothing to do with me." She stormed right past the shocked crowd and pushed past Daryl who was standing in the doorway. She took the stairs two at a time, wishing that she had someone, anyone, that she could talk to about this. But there was no one at the moment. She was in a mansion filled with people and she had never in her life felt more alone than she did at this moment.

She missed her old life. She missed being in control. She realized with a start that this was the most she had missed Michonne since those dreams had started. She felt tears sting her eyes as she recalled the things Merle had said to her. The look on Rick's face when she had wordlessly left his room the night she had slept with him. Flashes of Amy's face, pale and lifeless at the quarry danced behind her vision. Her mind was running full speed, driving her to hurry blindly towards the stairs that would take her to the third floor. She didn't feel like she was in control of her emotions.

She heard a sob escape her and was embarrassed by the sound. It didn't even sound like her. She wasn't weak. She shouldn't be crying. She blinked the tears out of her eyes. She knew that in all actuality this was her fault. Her indecision. Her horrible judgment when it came to the opposite sex. Shane. Philip. Rick. Merle. What was wrong with her?

"Umph!"

She stopped, well, she had no choice but to stop because she had slammed right into someone. Whoever it was hadn't budged and in a few seconds she felt a hand on her lower back, steadying her. She wanted to jerk away but the hand held her firmly.

"The fuck is wrong with you? Has somethin' happened?" Merle's gruff and panicked voice filled her ears and it seemed to tear into her chest painfully. "Is somebody hurt? Killed? Turned? Goddamn, girl, say somethin'! Are ya alright?"

She shook her head and shoved him away from her. After what he had said to her this afternoon she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. But had he lied about any of it? What he said had been the truth and that was what bothered her the most about what had happened between the two of them. She wanted him and it made her sick to think that she had flushed it all away. Her anger dissipated quickly turning into remorse.

"No. No one is hurt," she managed as she took a deep breath and tried to organize her thoughts. She felt like she was losing her mind. When she was finally able to see through the tears she looked up at him. His eyes weren't angry. He actually looked concerned. "I'm sorry, Merle." She managed before she tried to get around him.

She heard him curse under his breath right before he grabbed her by the arm and yanked her towards his open bedroom door.

~H~

He didn't know what the fuck he was doing this for. He didn't want anything more to do with this damn woman. He slammed his door shut and then turned to study her. There was more light in here and his eyebrows shot up when he met her eyes. She looked like shit. Well, that was a bit much. She didn't look like shit so much. She looked like she was about ten seconds away from losing her mind. Her eyes were wide and frantic.

"What in the hell is goin' on with you?" he saked, leaning against the door before she could bolt out of it.

She stared past him at the door, her arms wrapping around herself. The look in her eyes grew blank, causing him to frown. "I-I don't know," she whispered. Her voice was dull.

"Come on, Blondie. I know you got more fight in you than that. Tell me what the fuck it goin' on." He tried to tell himself that he didn't care. He tried to tell himself that if she was about to lose her shit then that was someone elses problem. He tried, and failed, to tell himself that what happened to her was of no concern of his.

She still didn't look at him. Her arms were still locked around herself and when she spoke her voice still held that dull quality. "I think I'm having a nervous breakdown."

Merle could feel the frown on his face deepen. He knew how to deal with a whole lot of things that life threw his way. He was a strong man. With that said, faced with a distraught woman he had to admit that he was completely out of his element. He was close to yelling for his brother to get his ass up here. Daryl acted like a distraught woman half the time. Surely he could help. He almost laughed at his own joke but he didn't think that would do any good. The last thing he wanted was for her to start with the water works again because she thought he was laughing at her.

He thought that maybe he would cut her some slack. He was still pissed off that she had ran off and slept with another man. Particularly a man he despised. But he had thought about it long and hard and came to the conclusion that maybe. Just maybe. He had played a role in her decision to do it. "Look," he cleared his throat, "I think me and you need to clear the air. We're both stuck here, right? I can't go on hatin' your ass forever. Not when I gotta look at ya every damn day."

She finally met his eyes and he seen a little life come back into hers. He felt a little full of himself thinking that the state she was in had something to do with his rejection. She shook her head then. "No. No we don't have to be stuck here. I think I want to leave."

He blinked a few times, waiting for her to elaborate, but she didn't. Instead she nodded to herself, her eyes focusing on him. "What the hell ya mean, you wanna leave?"

She pulled in a deep shaky breath. "I want to leave. Not for good. Amy will be safe here and I'll come back when I find Michonne."

He shook his head, scowling. "Are you an idiot or somethin'? Michonne will find this place just like the rest of them did. You ain't gotta go out there." He didn't want her going out there, he realized with a start. He actually cared if she got herself killed and he found himself scowling even harder at that thought.

"Merle, I've already made a mess of my life here and this whole thing has barely started. I've ruined my friendship with you and I ruined any chance of Rick and Lori salvaging their marriage. She's right. What am I going to do next? I need to leave."

"You need to get your goddamn idiot head outta your ass!" He yelled, anger spiking his blood.

"I can take care of myself," she snapped.

"No. You can't. You never could. You managed to stay alive because of the group and then when the group was gone Michonne kept you alive and then when Michonne was gone Woodbury kept your ass alive. You're too cocky when you ain't got no reason to be. It might be a hard pill to swallow but it's the damn truth. If you go out there on your own then your ass is gonna die, Blondie. I can promise you that."

He was happy to see that spark return to her eyes. Even if it was an angry spark that was directed right at him. At least there was life there now.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about Merle," she snapped.

He put a lid on his rising temper, hoping that he could defuse this situation and keep her from doing something stupid. He knew her one weakness and decided to pounce on it. "Say you go out there on your search for your little girlfriend. What do the rest of us say to your sister if you get your ass killed?"

That dampened some of the fire in her gaze and she looked away.

He didn't push it any further than that. He let her stew on that for a while. She needed to think about that and he was going to give her time to do so.

"You should want me to go more than anyone else. Other than Lori I'm pretty sure you hate me the most," she muttered.

He frowned. He didn't hate her. That was his problem. He wanted to hate her. He wanted to wound her. He wanted to make himself believe that he didn't give a shit about her either way. "Why'd you do it? WHy him of all people?" He asked without thinking.

She looked away again. "What does it matter now, Merle? You made the decision to hate me. Why don't you just let it go?"

"If that's what you want," he said with a shrug like it didn't matter to him either way.

She glared at him now, all the fire back in her gaze. He almost smiled.