Rolf hummed a simple tune as he marched closer towards the airport. Night had already fallen, and only the glow of the city shined upon them. Behind him were the Eds and Wilfred. Each of them were carrying a heavy load on their backs; they walked at a much slower pace than the blue-haired boy leading them onwards. They walked along the quiet streets of downtown at night.
Ed, on the other hand, was oblivious to the tremendous weight heaved upon him. He beamed curiously at the cityscape glowing so heavenly in the horizon. He gasped and poked at Eddy, who growled in return.
"Quit it, lumpy!" he scolded.
"But Eddy," replied Ed, "It is pretty like flowers about to be stomped on a Sunday morning!"
"How about you shut up and talk to Double-D."
Ed turned around to see a figure in the distance. Double-D was way behind the others, about several feet from Eddy. He was obviously faring worse than the rest. Double-D let out a distinctive gasp. His shaking feet made two steps, stopped for about four seconds, then made two steps again. Finally, the sockhead's morale started to dwindle.
"Goodness, Rolf! The weight of these supplies is far too heavy for my slim frame! How much further of a distance do we have to cover to reach the airport?" he shouted out.
"Not much more, missing-tooth Ed-boy. We must carry on, yes? Rolf's Great Nano had slain a rampaging sausage machine, and this journey is nowhere near that feat!"
"For Pete's sake, Rolf!" interrupted Eddy, "Why didn't you hire a STINKIN' taxi?! We coulda gotten there faster if you spared some greens!"
"Rolf overestimates the thinking prowess of the three-haired Ed-boy," replied Rolf in an annoyed tone, "We do not possess the... how you say? Dough? Rolf's family cannot lend any money, for the Toyuyek must work for gains, no matter the age. You possess currency, yes?"
Rolf did not give Eddy time to respond. He loudly stated, "NO! Now you step into the trousers of Rolf, whining Ed-boy. In the Old Country, it was not so willy-dilly or good-for-nothing as here! Labor makes money like the shoe polisher makes rotten celery salad! Proceed and do not babble to Rolf like a crybaby!"
Rolf's lesson to Eddy silenced him pretty quickly. Eddy cursed under his breath and yet still struggled to move with the supplies on him. During the conversation, Rolf had inadvertently led the group to patches of grass away from the city sidewalk. In fact, they were far from any pavement.
Rolf bumped into an inconveniently placed metal fence, leaving some diamond-shaped markings on his face. He growled, raised his pitchfork, and prepared to fend off an ambush. Then, he realised the error (or rather, this country's error). "This steel fence brings anger to Rolf! Is the might of tree and wood not accepted in these lands!?"
"Ha ha ha! That was gold, I tell ya! Do it again, Cleese!" said Eddy, dying of laughter. This metaphor would soon become literal. Rolf was not as amused as Eddy. Rolf turned around in to face Eddy. His anger had already been suppressed, but now, Rolf would unleash it.
"Discipline is something you cannot understand, Ed-boy?" said Rolf in a sarcastic voice. Rolf rolled up his sleeves and stomped over to give Eddy the beating of his life. "Wait! Rolf! It was just a joke, Stretch! Honest!" confessed a fearful Eddy. Rolf grabbed Eddy's shirt and was about to deliver him a taste of the Old Country when they were interrupted by a huge booming noise.
"Space outlaws have begun their ambush. I knew this would happen," said Ed in a surprisingly calm tone.
"Silly Ed," corrected Double-D, "You are simply witnessing one of the greatest feats of modern engineering. Flight!"
Double-D proudly gestured his hands upwards. On cue, a large commercial airplane flew above them. Since it was dusk, the plane shimmered with a beautiful display of yellow and white lights on its body with a couple of blinking red ones on the wings. It roared a deafening noise and started to descend. Wilfred squealed and ran around in circles when the sound tormented his porky ears. In the distance, the plane finally made contact with the ground and came to a stop. Ed had been leaning on the fence the entire time, staring with delight. When the plane did land, Ed cheered like a fan rooting for his winning baseball team and pulled a foam finger out of nowhere. Rolf too had been calmed by the sight of the metallic winged beast (as he would call it).
They had made it to the airport.
The four stepped into the terminal. Wilfred had to be left behind since animals weren't allowed into the building. The pig was left to cause his own havoc in which he ran around the pickup area and caused many arriving taxis to crash and burn. The chaos outside did not seem to trouble to the boys as they went looking for their designated airliner.
Although it was night, the airport was packed. Luggage came and went. Eddy's short stature meant that luggage was constantly bumping into him.
"Hmm. Old Country Airlines, yes? Come, guardians. The path is this way!" Rolf said.
"I must say that that is an odd name for an airliner. Oh, curse this author's lack of imaginative names," noted Double-D.
"Biscuits and rigatoni, Double-D. Waste time we shall not!" yelled out Ed.
They had taken two of the luggage carts near the entrance, much to the relief of Eddy and Double-D. Ed obviously had the cart with heavier items. Ed ferociously pushed their cart and slammed it into the other two Eds. The cart's force was strong; Double-D and Eddy were knocked so high up into the air that they landed onto a suitcase stacked on top of the pile. "Vroom, vroom! All aboard!" said Ed, mimicking a loathed bus driver.
But Rolf was easily lost in the crowd. Ed suddenly found himself confused and unknowng of where to go. He thought, except he didn't think. Regardless, Ed continued to drive the cart throughout the terminal.
"Hey Ed," Eddy yelled downwards, "Where the heck's Rolf at?"
"Beats me, Eddy!" Ed shrugged his arms, but upon doing so, he lost his grip on the cart's handlebars. "Whoops." The two other Eds did not seem to notice they were on a runaway ride.
"No need to worry, gentlemen," said the oblivious Double-D, "It is quite possible for me to locate Rolf from this height. It's unlikely Rolf would've gotten far. He did mention an 'Old Country Airlines'. According to the signage around the area, we should be just about-"
The uncontrolled cart crashed into one of the dividers separating lines and queues. It had not hit the metal poles, but instead, the soft part in between them. It stopped the cart, but not the Eds on top. They rolled and tumbled until they hit a tall object, knocking it over. Double-D, driven by habits, got up first to rearrange the obect in its correct position. It was actually a sign, and it read "Øld Country Äirlines." Double-D excitedly pointed to it and said "There!"
"Hiya guys!"
Eddy and Double-D turned to their left to see Ed and Rolf, who were both walking towards them. Both had their carts in front of them. Ed was fast at recovering things. "Rolf sees that the Ed-boys prefer competitive races, hm? And for unworthy earnings as well!"
When they had approached the counter, the line was all but empty. It was overshadowed by the line next to it, which was the queue for PeachWings Airlines. It was full and stretched all the way to an unseen part of the terminal.
The counter itself looked particularly strange. It was covered by some fur of an unknown animal and reeked of a meaty odour. There was no one at the counter, either. There was a single brass bell tied to a rope hanging from the ceiling. Rolf did not hesitate to ring it. Almost immediately, a man rose from behind the counter, wearing normal dark blue airline attire (except for a badge depicting a ham impaled with a fork on his chest).
The man sported a bushy moustache, highly untypical of a worker for his job. His hair was deep blue, which greatly resembled Rolf's. "What you want!?" the man spat out in an accent even thicker than Rolf's Nana's beet stew. Rolf shouted back at him in a seemingly different language. The two went into a loud shouting conversation, gathering some raised eyebrows (and unibrow). Eventually, it settled since the two burst into great laughter. All the while, the Eds stood confused at the scene, even Ed. The man then saluted Rolf.
"You are fortunate youngsters," the man abruptly said to the Eds. Double-D and Eddy looked at each other with confused glances, but Ed replied back with a thank you. The man lifted the two carts each with his own arm. "The Old Country certainly breeds strength..." whispered Double-D in amazement.
He threw the carts down violently upon the conveyer belt nearby. He pushed a button to the side and barked into a mic. The conveyer belt started moving. But with careful observation, one could see a goat hidden in the back, running the conveyor like a treadmill.
Rolf dusted off his hands. "Now, we must go to Terminal 3, Gate 21, yes?"
Rolf motioned the Eds forwards to the security checkpoint. But much to everyone's disappointment, it was full of hundreds of people waiting in line. What made it worse was the televisions on the walls constantly repeating out loud the airport guidelines and prohibited items.
"Oh, dear," said Double-D. He sighed.
"Great. Now what?" Eddy said, clearly exasperated.
"The Toyuyek does not need this tomfoolery. In Rolf's country, cutting the line is a call to battle to prove your strength!" Rolf whistled and shouted, "YHOBCLOCK!"
A pig wearing a monkey suit and an airline stewardess' cap came to Rolf's side and dropped a mallet held in her mouth. Rolf patted her hat and sent her away. "Rolf shall use this in times of trouble." Double-D's mouth dropped wide open. "What in Sam Hill is wrong with you, man?! Have we stooped so low that we resort to violence for our own gains?!" Rolf laughed and said, "Nonsense! This doohickey is a charm of good luck! What did you suppose it was for, sockheaded Ed-boy? To stir the soup?"
The room they were in was divided with glass walls. On one side of the glass was the line, while on the other side was an airport security officer standing vigilant. The officer never left his position. He only moved when he noticed Rolf and the Eds rudely shoving people and cutting in line. Double-D held his hat over his face in shame and fear, while Eddy and Ed were laughing.
"Hey, you! Cutting in line is prohibited!" the officer warned.
"Ah, yes, Rol- uhh, I, was doing none of the sort. None at all! Thank you," replied Rolf, trying to feign innocence.
But the officer smelled something fishy. Quite literally, because Rolf carried anchovies in his pockets. Just earlier, the officer had received a report from the police scanner that there was a gang of foreigners roaming around Downtown Peach Creek. They had assaulted an officer. The law enforcement of Downtown Peach Creek had apparently never experienced a legitimate criminal on the loose. All the trouble usually happened in the suburbs. For that, the police was on high alert.
Rolf entirely matched the description the police had come up with: blue-haired, violent, and strange. This was their suspect. But they needed verification.
Rolf put his hands in his pockets to appear as normal as possible. Although, his appearance was quite awkward being dressed in his traditional Old Country garb. The boys walked into the checkpoint after having thrown the former next person in line aside. "Shoes, baggage, and jackets go into the box! Shoes and baggage and jackets in the box!" chanted a nearby security guard. The boys, one by one, tossed their shoes into a box. Ed sadly took off his jacket, but before he did, he kissed something in his pocket goodbye. "See ya, Sheldon... Junior."
Rolf went through the metal detector. It did not beep and stayed green. Then came Eddy. The detector buzzed.
"You gotta be kidding me!" exclaimed Eddy.
"Sir, please take off any metallic objects on your person and place them in the box," said a guard.
Eddy grouched and grumbled as he stepped over to place his pocket watch and fake coin (for flipping) into the box. When he stepped through, there was no buzz. Double-D stepped through, and obviously, it did not beep for him either. Ed was the odd one out and it buzzed like never before for him.
"Is it lunchtime?" asked a confused Ed.
"Sir, please take off-"
"But I did! See?" Ed held up his foot, which only had a sock to cover it. The guard gagged and pinched her nose. She refused to smell it anymore, so she sent Ed on his way.
The next step of security was manual checking. The others had already done it in just seconds, so Ed was the last. Ed stepped onto the platform. The guard came near Ed and waved his device, but it flashed red almost immediately. The guard silently approached Ed and felt him for anything, and he certainly did feel something liquid-y. He pulled his hand away and saw that it was covered in brown. Gravy.
"HEY! Paws off my gravy!"
The guard nearly threw up right there. Suddenly, the item checking machine started to jam. It turned out that Ed's jacket was so full of items that the machine couldn't handle it.
With that, the guards had no choice but to let Ed through. The rest of the line was getting angry, especially since they had been cut. "Ed, why'd it take like three years for you to get through?" asked an agitated Eddy. Ed did not respond and was inspecting Sheldon Jr. for any injuries. Double-D gasped and shuddered at the sight of the horrific cheese and decided to get away from it by catching up to Rolf, already on the move.
As Double-D and Rolf ascended up the escalator, he asked Rolf a question.
"Pardon me, Rolf," said Double-D, "What is the estimated time of arrival for our flight to the gate?"
"Rolf remembers it will arrive at 3:26. Does that answer your question, Ed-boy?"
"3:26?! AM!? That's approximately three hours away from now!"