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Hey guys! Just a little segment to hold you over. The next post might take a little bit because I'm kind of bouncing between two different ideas and I want some more time to think it through before I jump in, post it, and then decide I don't like it. Sorry that it's all depressing lol Happiness will come in time! A special shout out to Helene08 for consistently posting reviews for me! Thank you so much!
Elena's POV
When I open my eyes, the sun is casting golden rays across room and Damon is gone from the bed. For a second, I'm frantic again but it's getting easier to believe he's back with me again. There's no way I could have imagined what happened in the early hours of the morning. I smile to myself and climb out of bed, grabbing his t-shirt from the floor and sliding it over my head. After pulling on some shorts, I go downstairs in search of him.
"There she is!" I hear immediately as I enter the kitchen. "Heard your little escapades this morning. Seems Damon didn't waste any time once he got back."
I glare at Enzo from across the counter and he chuckles.
"Ah, well. I've heard morning exercise is good for you. Get the heart pumping, that sort of thing. I do love a good morning workout. In case you're interested, Blondie." He says, looking towards the door as Caroline walks in, mouth agape.
"Sorry, I don't sleep with… you." She says, clearly caught off guard by his suggestion. He laughs and walks past her into the living room, purposefully brushing against her shoulder on the way out.
"Ugh, did we really have to being him back from the dead?" She says, shaking like she's trying to get something off her.
"I heard that!" He calls from the living room.
"I know!" She shoots back.
I roll my eyes. Oh, Caroline. I remember her saying something about never being anyone's first pick a couple of years ago. If she could only speak to her younger self now. She ending up dating Matt, then Tyler, then captured the interest of the oldest and deadliest vampire hybrid on Earth, and, now, she's the focus of both Enzo and Stefan's attention, even if Stefan is still trying not to admit that to himself. I have a feeling that, had Damon's death not affected him so much, they would have already been dating. Oddly, I'm okay with that. As long as they are happy, I'm happy for them. Plus, they are both incredible people and they each deserve someone as amazing as the other, if that makes any sense.
Caroline looks me over skeptically.
"How are you doing?" I can hear the implication in her question. Everyone is waiting for me to lose it.
"I'm fine. More than fine. I'm happy." I say, sipping my coffee. "How is Lucy this morning?"
She frowns. "No change. Luke and Liv are working on something but it's going to take some time." She looks at me again. "You sure you're fine? I mean, last night it kind of sounded like you had another nightmare."
"Listen, I said I'm fine, Caroline. It's been a hard few months and all of that doesn't just magically disappear. But it will get better. It's just going to take a little bit." I look around outside. "Where is Damon?"
"Oh, he and Stefan left for a few minutes. They said they'd be back soon."
I reach up to grab Damon's ring and realize it's gone. He must have taken it this morning while I was asleep.
"Hmm. Bonnie?"
"She and Jeremy are… spending time together."
"Oh. Oh! Ew!"
She laughs. "You're one to talk! You guys weren't exactly quiet this morning."
"You didn't have to listen, you know." I say, smiling at her.
"Kind of hard to ignore."
Damon's POV
"She's not stable."
I look back at Stefan.
"What do you mean 'not stable'? What exactly has she done to make you think that? She bit Liv? So, what? She deserved it! She has nightmares? She's been through a lot."
"You're not listening to us, Damon." I look over at Ric, his face contorted into the same expression he wore last night. "She was reckless to the point that she didn't care whether she lived or died. She ran into that house full of witches knowing, maybe even hoping, that they would kill her."
"She's feeding on humans again." Stefan says in a low tone, his head dropped.
"What?" Apparently, Ric didn't know about this either. "When?"
He looks up at us both. "A few weeks. She woke up one night after a nightmare. I went to check on her and she had gone out the window. I followed her, Damon. She's been feeding on people and, a few days ago, she killed someone."
"And you didn't think to tell me?" Ric says, obviously upset.
"No." I shake my head. "Come on, this is Elena. You know her. She wouldn't do that. You must have made a mistake."
"There's no mistake, Damon! She's been doing it for weeks!"
"Then why didn't you stop her? Huh?"
"I did! I even confronted her about it afterwards and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. I don't think she knows she's doing it."
When we get home, I feel strange. I don't know how to talk to Elena about the things I know we need to talk about. We walk inside and she sits smiling on the couch, radiant and happy, just like I remember her. I smile at her as genuinely as I can but, instead of sitting down, I motion for her to follow me outside. I think this will go over better if we're away from prying eyes and listening ears.
"What's going on?" She says, intuitive as always.
I sigh. "Nothing. I just figured we could talk about everything. There's a lot we've not had the time to say since I've been home. Well, we had the time but decided to use it for… other things."
She nods in understanding. "Stefan and Ric told you that I went a little crazy over the summer, didn't they?"
"No, I wouldn't say—"
"They're right."
I stop. "What?"
She looks at me seriously. "Damon, you died. You were the one thing that made me glad I could live forever. And then you were gone and I was alone. What was I supposed to do? I lost you and I lost my best friend. Tell me what the correct response to that is. Because I sure didn't know how to deal with it. So, yeah, I did go a little crazy. I had nightmares every night. I dreamed of losing you every night, so I never really healed. But it allowed me to never give up on finding you and bringing you home." She laces her fingers around my neck, tears shining in her eyes. "And none of that matters, now, because you are home. And we can live together for eternity, just like we were supposed to."
She kisses me lightly and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her, hating that I was the one that caused her this pain. And, at the same time, hating that I can't shake the feeling that Stefan and Ric are right, that something else really is going on with her. After a few minutes, she pulls away and wipes the tears from her cheeks.
"I want to show you something." She grabs my hand, pulling me towards the back of the house.
Inside, sexual innuendos continue to fly out of Enzo's mouth and I flip him off without even looking at him as I walk up the stairs, inciting a round of roaring laughter. Elena doesn't comment on his less-than-gentlemanly comments but, when she closes the door to her room, I think I see a lift in her cheek. I look around the room, the first time I've really paid attention, and realize it is completely devoid of any personality, the complete opposite of her old bedroom, which was filled with all the many pieces that make Elena who she is. She had pictures of friends a family, books, stuffed animals, pictures that Jeremy had drawn. Here, there are only blank walls, a dresser, and a bed covered in nondescript bedding. It's kind of creepy, actually, like the rooms you would find in an asylum.
When she turns around, she unexpectedly pushes me down on the bed, kissing me and, for a second, I think Enzo might have been right. But, too soon, she pulls away and starts rummaging through her drawers. Finally, after some digging, she pulls out an old black book with golden patterns on the front and around the page edges. It looks worn and I realize it's a journal.
Instead of explaining anything to me, she just hands it over and sits down beside me. I pull apart the pages, which are surprisingly sturdy considering their fragile look, and flip through pages and pages of letters that she wrote to me. She must have wrote in it every day that I was gone. The last entry is dated the night that I came home.
"I never gave up on you, Damon." She says, looking me dead in the eye. "Never."
"Dear Damon," I read, noting the tear-marks and smudges across the page. "It's been one week since you left. The nightmares aren't getting any easier. They are a blessing and a burden wrapped into one. Stefan tries to help but how can he? He wakes me up when he hears me screaming but sometimes I'd rather him leave me to go back to sleep so I can see you again. It's hard, seeing you and knowing that none of it is real. It's even harder when I wake up and I can't see you at all. At least in the dream, I can remember you clearly... here, the details that I thought I'd never forget seem to slip slowly away. I feel empty, incomplete. That's so cliché to say, I know. I can just hear you now comparing it to a Lifetime movie... But it's true. I'm sorry that I took you for granted. I'm sorry that I never said any of the things I should have said when you were here. I should have been there with you. At least then we'd be together. But I'll find a way to bring you back. No matter what. I'll find a way."
I flip ahead.
"Dear Damon, it's been 5 weeks. I thought it would get easier. It always got easier before… why can't I seem to feel anything this time?"
"Dear Damon, another dead end on bringing you home."
I lean back and close my eyes, fragments of sentences I've read running through my mind. I miss you. I love you. I feel dead. You promised me. You promised me. You promised me.