Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it.

Thank you to all the fans that have been patient with me and waited for me to put something up on this story. My mind was bouncing back and forth between two ideas with this one so I primarily focused on Forbidden in my free time until I could sort out what I wanted to do. I hope you like what I ultimately decided. I know it's not super long, but it's something, at least. I would love to hear some feedback! Thank you guys!

Also, feel free to message me with suggestions!

Damon's POV

From the time I was a child all the way through my 170-some-odd years, I have wanted, more than anything else, to be loved, wholly and completely. It sounds so cliché and whiny and it's not like I was crying in a corner for all these years. I came to accept that it wouldn't happen a long time ago. I knew I would never get love or anything resembling acceptance from my father, my mother passed away pretty early in my life, I was always too competitive with Stefan, Katherine never cared about anyone other than herself… There were countless women along the way whose faces and names I don't remember but none of them meant anything. And, then, there was Elena.

I knew I wanted to be with her the minute I talked to her. And what's amazing is that if I had not compelled her to forget, she would have gotten to know me before Stefan and her view of me would have been completely different from the beginning. But, I did compel her and she forgot me… and when she met me again, she saw me as the dangerous, reckless (and devastatingly handsome) older brother of her new beau. I loved her long before she could ever see me for anything but a monster, which I don't necessarily disagree with. I am a monster in many ways. I don't pretend to be anything more than a man who will lie, manipulate, torture, and kill to get what I want, which is usually just to protect myself and the people I love. But she changed me, the only person who has ever really been able to. She made me believe I could be more than what everyone else said I was. And she loved me even when I failed, even when I killed Aaron, even when I proved to be unworthy over and over again.

Now, she lays beside me, sleeping soundly, but, for the second night in a row, I can't seem to do the same. All I can focus on is the cold, hard truth, which is: my death nearly destroyed the person I love most in this world. My own reckless behavior caused her pain… again. And, not only that, it drove her to choices she would have never made in a million years. The truth is that after fighting through so much to be with her, after fighting against every person that said I was not worth loving, that I was not good enough for her, that she shouldn't love someone like me, it turns out they were all right. I changed her by leaving her. Even if my choice was what some would consider 'noble', a sacrifice, the truth is that it was that very choice, to be selfless, that ruined it all, which I believe is incredibly ironic. Oh, the universe. Always throwing curveballs like that.

And, now, I'm stuck… because I don't know how to help her overcome this, I don't know how to be there for her like she needs me to be. I was never good at that whole side of relationships; that was always Stefan. I mean, we all saw what happened the last time I tried to comfort her… I told her to turn her emotions off and she turned into a lunatic. So, yeah. Not my strong point.

I still believe that the strong, fearless girl I remember is in there. She's just been repressed by constant grief and heartache. But, if she can overcome becoming a vampire, being hunted constantly, losing her Aunt Jenna and her own parents, she can overcome this. I just need to talk to the person that helped her through all that. Stefan.

I don't remember falling asleep but when I wake, the sun is too high in the sky for it to be morning. The bed is empty and the silence the fills the house is eerie. It reminds me too much of the Wasteland, where the emptiness of the land had a sound all its own… hollow, dead. It made you feel the same inside after a while. "Hell" is an appropriate word, even if it's not the kind of hell most people imagine. It was more subtle in how it drove you crazy, made you feel trapped, alone, suffocated in the open air. Supposedly, inside the forest, you wandered until you lost your memories and, eventually, your mind. But, to be honest, if I hadn't known I could come home, I probably would have given into the lure of the woods that offered some type of relief from the memories that haunt you every moment you're there. Even with several people around I sometimes felt like I would go insane from the horrible aching that gnawed at your insides, the effect that place had on you… I shudder. It's not something you easily forget.

I climb out of bed and wander the halls of the temporary home they've made. Amazing that they have been here for months and it barely looks lived in.

"Hello?" My voice falls flat in the air.

Again the word 'eerie' comes to mind.

"Elena?"

I hear a creak and turn around. It's Bonnie. We haven't spent much time together since we've been back and it feels awkward, now, to be back in the real world where we used to hate each other and still have the bond we formed in our own temporary purgatory.

"Where is everyone?"

It's only now that I realize her face is tearstained, her eyes red. I feel an overwhelming urge to hug her or comfort her somehow but I'm not sure how.

"Lucy has taken a turn for the worse. She still hasn't woken up and we haven't been able to find anything that looks very promising." Her bottom lips starts to quiver again and I pull her into a hug. "I don't know what to do. She shouldn't have even been in there."

"I'm sorry. We'll try to figure something out."

She nods but doesn't really reply and pulls away just as Caroline walks by, eyeing us skeptically.

"Hey. Where's Elena?"

They look at each other.

"I haven't seen her since last night. Since you've been holed up in your room all day, I thought she was, you know, with you…" Caroline says, raising her eyebrows.

"If she was with me, you would know it." I smile at her shocked expression.

Bonnie rolls her eyes. "Seriously, though, guys. If none of us have seen her… where is she?"

Elena's POV

An odd sounds wakes me. Is that… a bird? I open my eyes and glance around at the unfamiliar forest, wiping dirt and wet leaves from my jeans. Where the hell am I? I don't recognize any of this… The sun shines bright, still high in the sky, so it's close to the middle of the day. How did I even get here? The last thing I remember is going to sleep beside Damon last night… Oh, God. Damon. He's got to be freaking out.

I pull out my phone but the battery bar blinks and the screen goes blank. That's just great. I stand and brush my tangled hair back from my face where it's become wet and matted to my cheek and notice something on my hand. Something red. Blood.

I look down horrified and realize my hands are stained with it. I use the reflective surface of my phone to look at my face. Blood has dried around my mouth like a gruesome shade of lipstick and I drop my phone, backing away, wanting to run from this place, only to trip over something heavy. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before opening them to look into the cold, dead eyes of not one, but several strangers in varying stages of decay around me. My scream is muffled by the flap of wings as surrounding birds try to escape the shrill sound.

What have I done?