Disclaimer: I do not own TVD or anything associated with it.

Hello, all! Sorry for the long wait but I was suffering from a bit of writer's block. Hopefully, this will make up for it. It's written entirely from Elena's POV this time and it has a bit of mature content at the end, just to forewarn you. Hope you enjoy it! Reviews are my favorite!

Elena's POV

So, I caved and told Damon what's been going on.

Kind of.

I told him that I woke up in Kentucky and I didn't know how I got there. I also told him that I feared Stefan was right and I'd been feeding on humans again without knowing it.

What I didn't tell him was that I've been having strange dreams that don't seem like dreams for the past month or so or that they've seemed to have intensified since he's been home. I also didn't tell him that I buried the bodies of six people this afternoon, though I'm really surprised that he and Stefan didn't find them.

So, pretty much, I lied. I lied because I don't understand what's happening to me and I'm still determined to do as much of this on my own as I can. But Damon is smart. He is good at figuring people out because, in many ways, he's a predator and he always thinks one step ahead. I love that about him but it's a pain in the ass when I need to hide something. Especially something of this caliber. So, I tried to give him as much of the truth as I could without telling him everything outright. Still, if this keeps happening, he's going to catch on, which means I'm going to have to figure it out and fix it sooner rather than later.

I brush back his hair, admiring his sleeping form. He looks so peaceful and my heart squeezes. I wish I could do the same without fear. I wish that I could close my eyes and not worry about what I might do once my subconscious takes over. Sleep used to be an escape for me. Even when I had to relive losing Damon every night, it was a bittersweet torment, an agonizing paradise, because I got to see his face. I could hold him in my arms again for a time and, even though it would end and I had to lose him again and again, for that moment, I was in Heaven. Now, he's really here and I can't even enjoy that because my mind is such a mess that I don't even know what's going on half the time.

How is Lucy? I haven't even asked. I haven't really been present in so long.

My eyes start to get heavy and I sit up quickly.

No. I can't go to sleep. But where do I even start on trying to figure out what this is? Is it magical, like the Hunter's Curse? It certainly feels like I'm losing it sometimes. Or is my psyche finally fractured from all the tragedies I've endured?

I can't tell Bonnie for the same reasons that I'm trying to keep Damon out of this and Luke and Liv are pretty tied up in caring for Lucy. I guess I could see a psychiatrist but, then again, I could never really be honest enough to get a true diagnosis, if it is even something diagnosable.

No, I'll have to do some research on my own. Alaric might be able to help me find some occult books with information since he's the new Professor of Occult Studies at Whitmore. I'll have to be sneaky, though. No way he'll keep my secret from Damon.

Actually, now that I think about it, there are a few of Ric's books down in the den from when we were grasping at straws trying to find Bonnie and Damon. I'm not sure how much help they'll be but I have to try. Plus, I need something to keep my heavy eyes open. Lying beside Damon only makes me want to curl up in his arms and drift off to dreamland.

I stand carefully and walk towards the door, trying not to wake Damon. He sighs and rolls over. I still in the doorway, biting my lip in anticipation of his voice, but his breathing returns to normal and I slip out into the hall unseen.

The den is empty and a fire roars in the fireplace, providing a glow and warmth to the room. Ric's books are scattered about me but they've yielded no information so far as to what could be the cause of my fluctuating consciousness. I slump over in my seat to pull another book across the smooth surface of the table, laying my head against its cool mahogany before I can even open the dusty pages. The clock reads after 4 am. The even breathing in the various rooms of the house are an orchestra and provide a comfort that makes my eyes droop shut.

No! I can't fall asleep now. Nothing has been solved.

I sit up and look over the cover of the next text, my eyesight blurring slightly.

Alternate Dimensions: A Mix of Reality and Fantasy

I snort. Who comes up with these names?

I push the book open and skim through the pages but it's useless. I can't focus. Maybe if I just close my eyes for a second… if I can just rest them for a minute…

A halo of light cascades down on the empty forest. Well, not really empty. Six bodies of varying ages litter the small space, draped over one another, blood-soaked clothes from gruesome neck wounds, their faces vacant and mouths hanging open in a morbid look of surprise. Blue, brown, green. Six pairs of dead eyes stare at me, mocking me, accusing.

Movement to my left draws my eyes into the darkened part of the woods and I squint to try and make out something, anything. Finally, my eyes focus and I gasp.

Not just six bodies… hundreds more lie outside the circle of light and all their eyes are on me.

"Why?"

I look back to my right and into the face of the young girl that's speaking to me. She can't be over 20 years old and her life is already over. She's already dead… because of me. She untangles herself from the limbs of the other bodies and stands, her eyes still, glassy and unblinking, blood still trickling from the wound in her neck and soaking the light yellow shirt she wore the last night she was alive.

I see a pendant around her neck and something clicks. Images flash in my head: meeting her at Whitmore, talking to her, laughing, deciding what we would do over the summer when we went to our respective hometowns.

These aren't strangers. I know these people. Not well, but I have met them all before.

What was her name? She was in one of my classes…

"Hannah?"

She ignores my recognition and takes a step toward me.

"Why did you do this to me?"

"I'm… I'm sorry. I don't know…"

"I had a family, you know. I had a 2 year old niece. I had a sister and parents and a fiancé. I was supposed to get married in the Fall. I was supposed to grow old with my best friend. How could you take that from me?"

"I don't know… I wish I-I could go back… that I could-"

"What did I ever do to you?"

She takes another step toward me and I back up only to hit something solid behind me. Another person. I try to steady myself before looking back into the face of yet another person whose impending death I'm responsible for.

"Lucy?"

"Why, Elena? Why did you have to drag me into this? Was Damon so important that my life meant nothing? Were you so desperate to have him back that you would sacrifice anyone else?"

"I'm sorry!" I scream at her and turn to get away but come face to face with Jeremy, his neck bent at an odd angle.

"People keep dying because you force us into your chaotic, uncontrollable life, Elena. How many times have I died? How many times did Ric die? All because of you!"

His words echo, the words bouncing around inside my skull and I cover my ears.

I can't hear this. I can't. I can't think with all the voices in my head, blaming me, tormenting me.

I turn away from Jeremy and dodge Lucy and Hannah only to trip over another body and fall to my knees. A familiar leather jacket fills my vision and I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Damon lays across the dirt, charred and unmoving. I'm torn between not wanting to hear the horrible things I know he'll accuse me of and not caring as long as I can hear his voice again. Minutes pass and they feel like hours as I wait for him to speak.

He never does.

"Damon."

I shake him.

"Damon, wake up. Please, wake up. Tell me it's my fault. Tell me… something. Anything. Please, just open your eyes. Please."

Despair rushes in, filling my chest and making it hard to breathe. Like being underwater, like dying in my parent's car or Matt's sunken truck all over again. How sad and strange that this pain is almost familiar, now… almost as much a part of me as anything else. Even more strange that it can be so familiar and still so crippling.

The volume of the insults being thrown at me reaches an all-time high and I cover my ears.

"SHUT UP! Just stop!" I scream and a few seconds later there's silence.

I look around me. The forest is empty. Damon is gone. I'm alone.

"Elena."

A little girl no more than 6 looks down at me, her round, brown eyes still full of the innocence that comes with being a child.

Oh, no. No. I didn't… I couldn't have…

I look her over, trying to find how I must have… ended her barely-begun life. Her brown hair is pull into pigtails that drape over the shoulders of her simple, white dress… but there's no blood. There's no indication at all that she's dead. She's just… here.

She looks so familiar. Why can't I remember her?

She turns and walks into the darkened forest, glancing back to see if I'm following. I do, reluctantly, and she takes off running.

"Wait!"

I try to follow the white glow that seems to cling to her but she's soon swallowed by the darkness.

Great.

"Elena."

I turn to look back into the same brown eyes from earlier.

"Follow me." She says in a voice that's almost haunting.

She turns to run into the woods again and I grab her arm to pull her back. She's ice cold and a shock runs through me.

"Who are you?" I beg.

She grins.

"You're asking the wrong questions."

I jump awake.

The clock still reads just after 4 AM and I check my phone, sure that the clock in the den must be wrong. It's not. How can that even be? Barely five minutes has passed…

I stack Ric's books back the way they were and start upstairs. I don't know what's going on but I have a strange feeling and I don't want to be alone.

I poke my head into Bonnie and Jeremy's room as reassurance that Jeremy is okay despite my horrible dreams about him. He's sleeping soundly with his arm tucked around Bonnie as if he wants to protect her from her world. They look content. It makes me feel a bit better to know that I have brought some happiness back into his life. He needs that.

I stand outside Lucy's door, wanting to look in but afraid of what I might see.I start to push the door open but hesitate.

I'll go in tomorrow. I will. Really. I just… need to prepare myself to see what I caused. I need to make sure I can cope seeing someone's life destroyed because of my selfishness. And that's not something I can deal with just yet.

Speaking of my selfishness, I look in at Damon, still sleeping peacefully, and I can't stop myself from pressing my lips against his.

"Mmmm." He sighs, his blue eyes peeking at me from beneath long lashes. "What time is it?"

"It doesn't matter." I whisper back.

He pulls me back down into a kiss, his lips so soft and warm against my own. Even after a summer of kisses like this, it still makes me wild. My fingers tangle in his hair, securing his lips to mine, and he tugs me down onto the bed, rolling to pin me. He grabs the hem of my shirt and fluidly pulls it off, barely breaking our kiss. I shiver and gasp as his hands run across my back, unclasping my bra and tossing it aside, and his lips travel along my collarbone.

I grab him and flip him over with blinding speed, running my hands over his bare chest, taking in every part of his perfection. And that's what he is: perfection. Perfect blue eyes rimmed with long black lashes. Perfectly disheveled hair. Perfectly defined muscles over every incredible inch of his body.

He raises up and pulls me back into a kiss, seeming to crave me as much as I crave him but I shove him back down, scraping my fingernail down his chest. Blood rushes towards my eyes at the scarlet drops that start to rise atop the skin that's already healing.

Is that awe I see in his eyes? I watch them and lean down to lick the beads of blood from his chest. His eyes close and his mouth opens in way that sends an electric charge through my body, one that goes down to the very atoms that make me. His expression takes me back to the bathroom in The Grill… back when I was a new vampire and I drank from him for the first time. I remember wanting him so badly, even then. It took everything I had not to give myself over to him that very second. The ecstasy on his face... I knew it was wrong to cause him such pleasure when I was with Stefan. I understood that it was something personal, intimate, but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to.

I sit back up. His blue eyes watch me, curious, as I bring my wrist to my lips and bite. I barely notice the pain, the sting lessened by Damon's reaction as I offer it to him. His eyes darken and his fangs grow. Even like this, he is beautiful. My stomach churns as he pulls my wrist close and sinks his own teeth in. I cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure and his hands tighten around my arm. A tingle sweeps through my body at the feel of his tongue on me, his lips locked around my wrist, drinking me in. My eyes flutter shut involuntarily and my head falls back. I can't focus on anything but this amazing, freeing feeling.

Why is this so incredible?

I look back down at Damon. His head is turned to the side and I can see the heartbeat pulsing in his neck. My mouth waters and I can feel the points of my fangs growing.

I want it. I need it.

When he pulls back from my wrist, gasping, blood dripping from his mouth, I can't stop myself from leaning forward to lick it off. He groans and it sets my skin on fire. I pull his head to the side, sinking my teeth into him.

Flavor explodes in my mouth, warmth spreads from my core to the tips of my fingers. This is what power tastes like. This is ecstasy in liquid form. There aren't words for it, only feelings that pulse through my body ferociously, blocking every other thought from my mind. Time seems to slow or I'm moving faster than I ever have. It's dizzying. It's Heaven.

Damon is crushing me to him and I know what he's feeling. I know that feeling that's building inside of him because it's building in me, too, and I need more. He pushes against me and we slam into the wall on the other side of the room, his mouth crushing mine as we grasp at each other. I can taste the blood on his lips and it only adds fuel to the fire that drives us. There is a rush of air and I'm pressed against another wall. Something glass breaks when we hit and the wood of this old house creaks with every blow we inflict but, honestly, the house could be falling apart around us and I wouldn't care.

I'm sure the others are awake now, listening to us gasping for air as our bodies come together. I don't care, though. All I can focus on is the way Damon's hands are holding me to him, the feel of his breath hot on my neck as he moans my name, his blood rushing through me, my blood pumping through him.

We are one.

We are still gasping for air, lying on blood stained sheets that somehow ended up on the floor. Damon is still pressed against me, tracing patterns on my stomach, kissing my neck… doing all manner of things that make me want to never leave this room.

"That… was—"

"Incredible?" I say, looking back at him with a grin.

"Exactly."

I smile and roll onto my side, scooting back until he's as close as he can be. He kisses my shoulder and I close my eyes. It's starting get light outside but I'm exhausted, now, from lack of sleep and our… extracurricular activities. But more than exhausted, I'm relaxed. Maybe it's the wave of endorphins that flooded my body moments ago but I could sleep here with him and not worry.

Maybe I've been making too big a deal out of all this… maybe it's all just repressed anxiety that's finally surfaced. Maybe… maybe this is the end of it.

Damon moves back a little, running his fingers down my back slowly, showing the sweet side that he usually reserves for me. After a second, he stills and I wonder if he's fallen asleep until he speaks with a strange undertone to his voice.

"What is that?"