Chapter 4
Reviewing the Situation – Justin and Cam: Email
Warnings: Mentions of boy/boy, discussion of sexuality, insomnia, and nightmares. References to Justin/Trip and Cam/Dustin.
RAAAAAW, no beta. I own each and every mistake.
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No matter how much he glared at it- and Justin had glared at it a rather impressive amount, even for himself – the monitor in front of him continued to produce an annoying white fuzz he had come to recognize as a busy signal.
A busy signal. He was getting a freakin' busy signal from the future. It shouldn't even be scientifically possible. Justin was calling forward to a specific area of time, so logically, the communication equipment should select a period in which Trip's 'end of the line' - so to speak - was free for contact. The fact that he was getting nothing but static, essentially, meant that someone had to be calling the green ranger at the same time as Justin, leaving his signal to be rerouted to this blank screen of nothingness.
No wait- it would mean that Trip was calling someone at this exact time, wouldn't it? Maybe? And, yeah, Trip wasn't always the best at gauging these things- less from an intellectual standpoint and more from being unfamiliar to human culture point of view- but generally Trip didn't call people at three in the morning. Or if he did, they informed him of the exact time, he apologized with wide, confused eyes, and that was the end of it.
So when Justin's call had been basically redirected, he had just waited. Because Trip would be done soon. He had to be done soon.
Twenty minutes later, Justin gave into the logic that Trip was actually having a conversation with someone. At three in the morning. And they hadn't hung up on him yet.
When Justin traced the call back to Ninja Ops (shut up, he was bored, and it proved to be an interesting enough challenge), it did not take long to deduce exactly who Trip was talking to.
Dustin.
Before he could put too much thought into it, Justin opened up a new email to vent his frustrations, aiming his ire at someone who could potentially aid him in his quest to talk to Trip. He had hit a roadblock with his scanning algorithm for the drones Kai had requested, and it was really starting to piss him off. It wasn't anything he couldn't work through on his own, but Trip had a way of seeing things from an entirely different angle that was…refreshing. Okay, it was also helpful, but dangerous. Justin tried not to become too reliant on seeking Trip's advice, but he just- It was one of those nights. A grouping of nights, he guessed. A night that had started a few nights ago with nightmares Justin couldn't remember and ended with productivity he couldn't stop for fear of falling back into the nightmares-
He just really needed to talk to Trip. There was no justification needed, they were friends. Friends could talk to each other at three in the morning.
As demonstrated by Dustin.
Annoyance rekindled, the Turbo ranger took to his keyboard with renewed vigor, working out a kink in his neck with a rough twist of his head as he tried to coherently vent his frustrations.
To: C.Watanabe
Subject: Put Dustin to bed
Cam,
Get your spazzy boyfriend to leave Trip alone, it's too damn early in the morning to be gossiping.
-Justin
There. It was short, sweet, and to the point. Could probably do with a little more good will and tact, but Justin was going on three days without sleep, so his thinking processes were slightly compromised.
He sent the email and waited, reaching out for the stress ball lying innocently next to the canister of pens and pencils, and tossed it into the air. He wouldn't have to wait long. If Dustin was awake, Cam had to be awake, and if Cam was awake, his Cyber-duplicate was programmed to inform him of any emails from Justin as soon as they arrived (the tech's response times were too quick for there to be any other logical conclusion).
It wasn't long before his computer chimed with Cam's response. Justin leapt for the keyboard, ignoring the stress ball as it rolled to the floor, off towards a pile of miscellaneous junk parts.
Subject: RE: Put Dustin to bed
From: Cameron Watanabe
To:
I'm certain there was a 'please' in there that you accidentally deleted. A byproduct from years of rushing procedure, I'm sure. Deviations in civility aside, Dustin was not the one to initiate contact. Perhaps you could educate your boyfriend on appropriate hours of communication for the future, to protect the sanctity of your early morning rendezvous.
-Cam
Justin sputtered for a second; face heating up as he processed Cam's words. They essentially came down to 'I'm not happy about being awake either' and 'quit your bitchin' in Cam's flowery, proper way, but that wasn't the part Justin focused on.
To: C.Watanabe
Subject: You're crazy
We're not dating, jackass.
If you want to sleep, just tell Trip to call back or something.
-Justin
Due to the brevity of his email, he knew it wouldn't take long for Cam to reply. He wasn't disappointed.
Subject: I'm quite sane, thank you
From: Cameron Watanabe
To:
I will bypass the expected response of 'could have fooled me' to spare your admittedly fragile ego. Contrary to my teammates' predispositions, I prefer not to meddle with the love lives of others. Seek comfort in whatever denial you can, if it helps you cope. As far as I am concerned, Trip is his own individual. If it is his preference to engage with conversation in the early hours of the morning, then that is to be respected, especially if Dustin has willingly agreed to participate.
Now, if all of your concerns have been suitably addressed, I request that you cease emailing me. Some of us have work to do.
Goodnight,
-Cam
Justin stared at the words. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. He glanced to the floor, to where his stress ball taunted him, far too many feet away for him to consider retrieving it. Then he turned back to the screen.
Oh. It was on.
To: C.Watanabe
Subject: I'm pretty sure you're crazy-pants
WE ARE NOT DATING. I am not attracted to Trip, nor am I in denial about being attracted to Trip, because I AM NOT GAY.
You think you're so damn high and mighty because you're in a relationship, but Tori told me it took you months to get your damn act together and realize you liked Dustin. Do not project your issues onto me Watanabe, I'm actually in touch with reality.
NOT goodnight,
-Justin
Justin sent the email with a vicious jab of his mouse and waited, waited eagerly. Cam wouldn't resist. Justin liked the green ranger, but that didn't make him ignorant of the other tech's flaws. Cam loved a good soapbox just as much as any other person, and if he really felt that he was in the right he would preach his point all day.
The act of arguing with Cam didn't surprise Justin- it was something they did on a fairly regular basis, Justin was willing to say it played a considerable part in the foundation of their friendship – but the subject of their argument, this time, threw Justin. It was either that, or the forty eight hours of constant consciousness working against him, but Justin wasn't really willing to address that right now.
His email alert chimed a few minutes later, and Justin bypassed worrying about the why in favor of reading.
Subject: Feeling defensive, are we?
From: Cameron Watanabe
To:
Based on time of contact, level of irritability, and amount of thought illustrated in your prose; I am going to assume that this delightful transcript is the result of a period of extended vigilance. As such, I am willing to proffer a bit of leniency at this particular time.
It is no one's place to impose their own perceptions of attraction onto you, however, there is a great deal of difference between forcing others into the same sexual orientation as yourself and being blind to what is in front of you. A sign can only be so bold; a noise can only be so blaring, so obnoxiously present, before you stop ignoring it.
Whether you are gay or not is of little relevance, because whether you find the male populous as a whole attractive or not, it has no relation to whether you find Trip attractive.
I believe as an individual of moderate intelligence that you can separate the primal from the intellectual, separate centuries of conditions for appreciation of the mind.
And if you cannot, stop checking out his ass.
-Cam
It took Justin a few seconds to remember to keep breathing.
It took him considerably less time to start typing.
To: C.Watanabe
Subject: Feeling moronic, are we?
I will bypass the expected response of 'I do not check out his you-know-what' to spare your admittedly fragile face from the fist-bludgeoning I am going to deliver unto it the next time I see you.
You know what? I'm done. I'm not having this conversation with you, because it's pointless. Of course it would matter that I'm not gay when it comes to questioning my attraction to Trip, because Trip's a guy. It doesn't matter how sparkling his personality is, if that basic requirement isn't met, then how can there be anything greater than that in the first place?
-Justin
He sent the email before he could think about it, just like he had typed it before he could really comprehend the stress and anxieties and frustrations he had been dealing with over the past few days.
How had they even started talking about this? Why was he even talking about it, for that matter? Why was he humoring this?
Hell, for all Justin knew this could be a hallucination brought on by too much caffeine, it was the only thing he could think of that explained why he needed Cam's understanding so badly. Maybe it was because, as another young technical genius, Cam should understand. And if Justin could get his approval, his support, maybe that meant he was doing okay.
But how he was doing okay, and with what, Justin didn't know. He really didn't know anymore. He didn't even know why he was arguing.
The truth was, Justin didn't dwell on sexual attraction all that much. He had figured high school had just messed him up. At a time in your life where you're supposed to enduring the trial of puberty, Justin had been too young and too smart and too out of anyone's social circle to be considered as an option. Or for him to even consider others as an option. He had always been too busy studying, learning, working to do more. And when he stopped being a ranger- or, a ranger with a team - it had only gotten worse, because now he had something else that could distract him, that he could study, learn, understand.
There had never really been room for others in that equation, and by the time he had ever started considering it, there had been Trip.
If Justin was honest, the only other person he had ever pictured himself being married to was Trip. Mostly, because he knew the green ranger wouldn't drive him crazy. Or, at least, drive him the good kind of crazy. Justin had learned the distinct variations over his time as a ranger.
Still, all of that stuff had just been idle fantasy, a trivial contemplation to pass the time.
The computer chimed, and Justin opened the email with a swallow, fighting down the muddled feelings of conflict and weariness.
Subject: blank
From: Cameron Watanabe
To:
My only advice is to do what makes you happy Justin.
So, I must ask: What makes you happy?
-Cam
Freakin' passive-aggressive- of course Cam would turn it around on him. He probably didn't think Justin was worth a full academic debate just because he had been awake a few days. The green ranger was obviously just trying to throw Justin off his game. He didn't know- he didn't have a proper answer so he-
Justin could feel his eyes warm up, watering at the sudden lump in his throat. His hand curled into a fist against his desk as he considered the screen, grasping for an answer.
What made him happy?
Not this. Not…not this. He wished Trip would-
"Hey."
Justin startled, whipping towards his other monitor- the one hooked up to his Time Force equipment- hard enough that he could feel his jaw rattle.
There, looking just as innocently wide-eyed and perky as always, was Trip, smiling that same stupidly wide smile.
"Sorry about that," the Xybrian apologized, giving Justin sad eyes. "I was talking to Dustin. But I'm here now!" He frowned, then squinted at the screen, leaning forward in a slow inspection. "Darn," he said eventually, leaning back in his chair. "I'm gonna have to look at your camera too. Maybe it's my side of the connection that's messed up.." He shrugged, but before Justin could ask what he was talking about, Trip was back up and running. "You look terrible Justin, are you okay?"
And something in that, Justin wasn't sure what, whether it was the exhaustion or the argument or just coming off of the sugar rush of six Cokes- but Justin felt a tremendous amount of relief at just…seeing Trip. He was there, he was fine there wasn't- there wasn't anything from any nightmares that could- that would do anything to him. It was stupid to think otherwise.
After Trip's concerned eyes got a little too intense, Justin realized he had yet to answer the other tech. He coughed, hiding his face behind his hands for a moment, then nodded. "I'm fine Trip, I just…" he swallowed. "I wanted to run something by you, real quick. But could you give me a moment? I just have to…" he motioned towards the computer. "You know."
"Go for it," Trip said, smiling again. Maybe he was relieved too.
Justin didn't look too much into it. He turned back towards the computer, and typed Cam one final email.
To: C.Watanabe
Subject: RE: blank
Thanks, Cam.
A few minutes later, after Trip had babbled his assurances that he was definitely going to make it to the reunion, and chatted on happily over Justin's progress with the drones, mentioned some new metal alloy he was working on, along with a few home remedies Katie had to help with sleeping, Justin's computer chimed again.
He didn't have to open it to know what it said.
Subject: You're welcome, Justin
From: Cameron Watanabe
To:
But if you mention this to anyone I will literally destroy your networks until they are shriveling husks of their former selves.
I mean it.
-Cam.
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Endnotes:
No seriously, he means it.
Okay, so I might have made Cam a bit of an asshole, but to be fair, his snuggle buddy is up gossiping at three in the morning and he really just wants to be in bed. He normally has his polite-pants on, promise.
Until next time :D