"I am sorry."
"'Sorry'? I came a day in advance because you said so! I am on my way!"
"And that's why I am sorry."
"Shuu, what is it?"
"What is what?"
"You never cancel your plans like this. You are a bit of a stickler about such things, aren't you? I don't get this. What happened? I thought you had talked with your mum about me coming over..."
"I did and it is not about family..."
"What is it about then?"
"It is complicated? I just have to meet a friend."
"A friend?"
"A friend."
"You got a girlfriend?"
"Jeez, why does everyone ask the same question?!"
"Everyone?"
"My mum was adamant about the idea as well in the morning, kept telling that I was leaving the nest for a girl and that she was both happy and sad and I just couldn't make her believe that it was not a girl."
"So it is a boy?"
Nijimura almost chokes on the tea he is drinking,
"What?! Why?"
"Why not?"
"You think I'm gay?"
"Why not?"
"Why?"
"Why not?"
Nijimura sighs for he is truly uncertain about how to explain the recent waverings about his sexuality without revealing the root cause of such questioning in the first place. The thought of admitting to Himuro that he might be bisexual does not concern him much, he is pretty certain that he will be accepted; his beautiful friend has never been a bigot in these matters though has always kept his own sexuality and private life a mystery so Nijimura is not entirely sure which way or rather which ways in total Himuro swings. However Nijimura also feels very unprepared and an urge of evasiveness is dominant within his heart. They can surely have that conversation later; much later, he hopes.
Himuro seems entertained and chuckles from the other end of the line,
"So, it is a boy?"
"It is a friend. We are not like that.."
"Really?"
"Really. Look, he needs help and..."
"You are rushing to save the day because that's the type of caring person you are? You're not being exploited because of that I hope... You are not necessarily very soft-hearted but you can be quite naïve, you know."
"No, you're getting it wrong. He is very capable, the most capable person I've ever seen actually... It is not like he asked for help or anything. He is not feeling well and his life is very complicated, so I am trying to be... a good friend, I guess?"
"How come I never heard of this friend of yours? Someone so precious that you pause to care about his feelings and well-being despite your hectic life? That you cancel up on me? Or wait, maybe I heard of him? All those 'I stayed at a friend's place last night's or 'I will be out with a friend's were about him?"
"Sometimes? We are kind of close. I mean he used to be a kouhai too. From childhood though."
"And you guys became reacquainted... because?"
"Because we go to the same university. So in a way he is my kouhai again. Can you stop with the weird insinuating tone?"
"Oh, so he is in Tōdai too, huh? That makes me feel better, less of a chance that he is a swindler, more likely that he is an overworked student like you."
"He is really... nothing like me..."
"In a good or bad way?"
"In every way? I don't know... He is perfectly gifted, ethereally beautiful, and exquisitely intelligent yet he is ridiculously even if deservedly proud and vain. Also, too much of a loner. Intolerably stubborn and introverted at times."
"Are you sure you don't love him? Well, if he is beautiful, you've always been superficial about it..."
"Come on! I just... appreciate beautiful people... and things."
"Mostly people. I still remember how struck you were when we first met. It was cute actually."
Nijimura could feel the heat over his face accelerating despite the cold weather of late December; he was walking home, drinking tea to warm himself a little, and now his face felt as warm as his fingers holding the paper cup – perhaps he did not need the warmth of the tea any more.
"You are awful. The point is, I won't be able to make it to dinner with you tonight nor am I going to be in Kanagawa."
"Well, I can find a place to crash in Tokyo. We can have breakfast tomorrow then... perhaps?"
"Uh... no I don't think I'll be available."
Because it is a given that he will sleep with Akashi tonight and though he has missed Himuro and would enjoy having breakfast with him, waking up late with the redhead in his arms and then preparing breakfast for him... well, the latter is definitely more alluring, no offence to his friend.
"You got to be kidding me."
"Come on man. How about we meet on 27th?"
"I have some prior arrangements for that day."
"I have too but at the evening, I am free in the morning; do you have time? There is this American style breakfast place I discovered, they make super pancakes."
"I am available for breakfast I guess, assuming you are paying? Since you stood me up."
"Sure, I guess."
"Someone is generous huh?"
"Holiday spirit?"
They both chuckle.
"I am glad you are doing fine Shuu..." there is contentment and relief in Himuro's voice that pricks Nijimura a little in the heart, because if his friend had any idea about the kind of emotional game of chess and the complicated relationship Nijimura has been involved in, he would be more upset than contented or relieved.
"Yeah. I am glad you are too... Talking about kouhais, by the way, you should introduce me to that kouhai you are so proud of."
"Hmm... He is coming tomorrow to Tokyo actually, to meet some of his friends. I could introduce you to him, we'll stay till New Year's."
"Good idea."
Then Himuro starts talking about his school and Nijimura falls out of synch with their conversation, his mind wanders how Akashi said he would be taking time off events and duties before New Year's, he is free too and how delightful it would be if they could spend the time together... It feels lovely and serene and he is afraid a bit that this might be the calm before the storm.
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They spend the 25th at home, Nijimura cooks fried rice with tofu and Akashi eats hungrily, then they have sex, then they have a long soothing bath together, then they make out until they both fall asleep. To most they would likely appear as lovers; the level of comfort they have achieved with each other is above all they ever felt with anyone else, but it is not really the same sort of romantic relationship people have. It is not simply due to the words that are not spoken or the labels that are deliberately avoided either; it is evident in small gestures now and then, at the nonchalance of Akashi, at the continuous uncertainty or even lack of a future together...
When he wakes in the morning, Nijimura finds crimson locks laid gracefully on the right side of his bare chest; his sight is still bleary and uncertain, though he know that it is Akashi's head, his bewitching hair on his chest, he muses that it looks as if he has been shot on his chest... He finds the metaphor painfully sweet and quite appropriate in ways more than one.
They stay like that for another half an hour during which he simply regards Akashi sleeping; the tousled carmine hair, the soft and warm pulsing breaths against his naked skin, the pale arm that wraps him from one side and the leg snaked between his... When his bed partner is finally awakened by his ever so punctual biological clock, he smiles contentedly for a second or two, perhaps even unconsciously for his eyes are still closed, Nijimura is unsure but elated at the sight regardless. There is a certain unsealed naiveté, audacious peace, and subtle confusion on Akashi's face as he rouses from sleep, surely something kept hidden and away from prying eyes, a blunder of honesty and innocence that needs to be protected and kept a secret, for it could be exploited, for it is undeniably a moment of vulnerability.
It is precisely why Nijimura is fond of witnessing these moments.
They have breakfast together then they laze at home together; Akashi draws letters out of pitch black ink onto a paper of pure white and Nijimura finds an odd peace in observing him... Perhaps it is the grace by which Akashi moves at all times, turning even the mundane actions into artistic performances, aesthetically pleasing spectacles; it is even more so when he is so captured by an art or a sport, whether it is calligraphy or shogi or basketball... By afternoon Akashi-sama's suit is delivered, all pristine and perfectly ironed, he changes into the item and Nijimura thinks how differently alluring his kouhai always is in formal clothing.
"You can stay if you like but I will be back very late..." Akashi notes before he leaves. There is no insinuation in his words, it is simply an informative statement; Nijimura has to hold in the fact that he could wait however long and he would not mind at all Akashi being late and by the way, wouldn't it be nice to have a goodbye kiss?
Why is he so awfully sentimental around Akashi?
He is pleased that he can keep these thoughts inside, unpronounced and hidden, because not only would they certainly break his fragile bond with the redhead, but also because they would embarrass him profoundly. What is unfathomable to him is how he can even imagine them or feel the desire to live them out despite their corny nature and his characteristic reluctance for all things syrupy... Perhaps Himuro is right in that he is a little sappy inside.
He makes the bed they so spectacularly messed up the night before, it calms his nerves down and provides him a sense of normalcy and control before he leaves the apartment, about an hour after Akashi. He wonders what would happen if he indeed stayed till very late, would it change the pace, would it change the direction... of this unidentifiable thing they have? Would it reveal to Akashi his inner cravings and feelings? But then, Akashi probably already knows. No, it is not just a matter of 'probability'; he must already know.
It feels weighty again with a tremendous pressure on his chest. He wonders, why and how he can swing back between emotions so light and heavy like this; it is manic and taxing on his body and soul. He sighs and wishes that he had made plans with Himuro for the night. It would take his mind away from this brooding and he would truly appreciate the company.
Then, hours later, at 10 pm, when he is going over some study notes after having found nothing better to do than delve into the rabbit hole that is astrochemistry, his phone vibrates;
[From: Akashi]
["Would you care to join me in a hotel room? I think I would like to spend some hours with you in private, if you would agree and are available, of course. Conrad Tokyo. If you give my name at the reception, they will inform you of the room number."]
In all honesty, it is a booty call and very rare in that they are meeting outside. He does not even think before typing out and sending a curt "OK", for it indeed is okay; more than okay actually.
As he enters the hotel's reception Nijimura thinks that perhaps he should have worn something else; he stands out a bit, with his old army green parka and worn out jeans in the lobby where most are in suits or similar half-way formal and expensive attire. Luckily he does not have to stay for long, he gets the room number and quickly ascends to his floor with the elevator. The door of the room opens before he knocks and Akashi stands behind the door, his figure only partially seen but his gaze gleaming with obvious desire and he looks as dazzling as he did before leaving home earlier that day, his slim-fit suit carefully accentuating his build.
The moment Nijimura enters in, he realises two things: first, he is in an expensive and large suite room, and second, Akashi has drank a little and alcohol can be tasted on his lips.
He revels in both, because, why not?
It escalates the moment he is inside and the door is shut firmly. It is quick, dirty, needy, loud...
Before he can stabilise his breathing in the aftermath of his own climax, his body naked and completely spent in the large bed, Akashi moves out of the sheets and stands; a pain strikes inside Nijimura for the invitation was odd, hence... Could it be meaningful in some other way? Could it be the end? Could it be–
He cannot continue with the worrying line of thought as a satiated little kiss of gratitude is gently placed on his lips; it is much chaste, especially considering the kinds of things they were busy with just moments ago. It is brutally sweet though.
"I am afraid I will have to visit the party once more, it has not wrapped up yet."
"So you literally took a break in the middle of an executive level Christmas-slash-New Year's party just to screw?"
"It is a rather impolite way of putting it but, yes. Apparently I can be surprisingly self-indulgent at times. As expected the party is suffocating, I needed a repose."
"I don't really mind... Hey, did you book the room for the whole night?"
"Yes, and for the morning too. If you would like to stay."
"Yeah, it is too late, I don't even know if there are still any trains... I think I'll stay the night."
"Have a good night then." Akashi smiles politely and Nijimura feels calm settle over his entire being; how terrified he was a moment ago when the worst possibilities had come to his mind. He is glad it is not them. He is further glad as he observes Akashi don his expensive dress shirt over the myriad red marks scattered around his back; perhaps it is the fact that he cannot even lay a claim on the heart of this man that he so childishly tries to mark his flesh, but then the redhead has never truly complained and has quite a nasty habit of biting himself. A multitude of bruises, old and new, graced all over Nijimura's own body would be truthful witnesses to that fact.
He does not ask for Akashi to stay nor if he will come back.
Akashi leaves without any other word and sleep overcomes his tired body soon after the redhead's departure.
Then god knows how many hours later, he hears footsteps and the door's silent sound of opening and closing. He does not even crack his eyes, he does not know exactly what time it is but it must be late, he does not move an inch or inform the person that he has been awoken by their entrance; he relishes the masquerade of slumber and silence. Soon a body colder than his lie near him under the sheets, a cold arm touches his back and for a second cold and tender fingertips caress his spine; it feels chilly and enticing in an asexual but truly amorous way despite the absence of any such emotion within the instigator of these touches.
He cannot fathom how this man who is not capable of loving another romantically can induce such deep romantic feelings in him. It is a mystery that he cherishes and revels in as much as he agonises over.
He turns in fake slumber, eyes still lidded peacefully, a languid move akin to the unconscious shifting of an asleep person upon unexpected stimuli, his arms wrap around the colder, smaller body near him and as if in synch a pair of arms muscular but thinner than his own wrap around him loosely at his naked waist.
The embrace is so lovely, it takes all his willpower to not open his eyes and look in wonder to the redhead currently breathing warm, easy, and tranquil in his arms.
He manages it. He does not say anything nor does he make it apparent that he is awake. And that he is glad, so perfectly glad to have this man in his arms. He is sure the other knows this and though the thought of this comprehension is normally terrifying because of the implications it can hold, for now the moment is so consummately serene that even his straying worries cannot harm it. An unyielding veil of peace shrouds them and no misery is allowed in.
They fall into sleep in a tender embrace that is much uncharacteristic for both of them.
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He wakes to a weight on his lap and as his eyes open to take in the light of the day and his mental faculties slowly crawl out of slumber, he murmurs,
"It's morning...?"
A pause in which his eyelids feel incredibly heavy and his body almost drifts back to sleep but he holds onto his consciousness, he murmurs again but it is almost inaudible,
"What time is it?"
It is precisely the word 'time' that triggers him to complete awareness and his eyes shoot open,
"Wait... The breakfast!"
And it is precisely opening his eyes fully, taking in the view in front of him and the body literally on top of him that causes his heart to skip a beat, his breathing to speed, his mouth to run dry... He murmurs again,
"Oh... Akashi..."
Oh Akashi, indeed, for the younger male is unabashedly naked bar his equally tiny and tight underwear and is much boldly straddling him. It is the best way to be awakened, Nijimura thinks, any day... but today.
"Hello..." the redhead's voice is silky, placid, and clearly suggestive,
"Hello there... What time is it, again?"
"8:42."
Akashi dips his head forward into Nijimura's neck, his breath is hot and his tongue is desirous, enthusiastic. Oh how greatly Nijimura feels the need to return that enthusiasm. Any time, any day... but today.
"Ah good... I have to meet a friend at 10. For breakfast."
He knew uttering those words would cease the heavenly treatment he is receiving; knowing beforehand does not make it any less awkward or unsatisfying to feel the warm mouth suddenly leave the sensitive skin of his neck,
"Oh. I am sorry, I did not know."
"No, I should have told you. I think I forgot."
Akashi moves away gingerly but the damage has already been done, Nijimura quickly calculates in his head whether or not they could go for a round before he leaves but he has a long way to go. He'll barely make it as it is and Himuro hates waiting and he himself hates making people wait...
He unwraps himself off the bedsheets and moves towards the bathroom under the careful eyes of Akashi, the reason is obvious as he gazes to himself after a quick shower in the large mirror of the bathroom; there are innumerable wanton markings of pure desire, of teeth, of nails, of hands... on every corner of his skin and flesh. Luckily it is December. Not that he is going to show any skin and he secretly adores the way Akashi is subconsciously adamant about marking him; there is a certain possessiveness to his touch in moments of lustful intimacy, Nijimura welcomes and craves it in silence.
When he is back in the same room with Akashi, he curses inside for his fortune (or rather misfortune) and an internal debate on the possible excuses that could be made for cheating on his promise with Himuro starts; he curtly stops it though, he has better willpower than this and Himuro is a dear friend. Still, none of it changes the sight before his eyes; Akashi is lying on his stomach, his whole body bare except the black underwear that seems to hug his hips sinfully tightly, the mere contrast in colour between his skin and the little piece of clothing is simply mesmerising and as if that's not enough the contrast of his pale skin and the deep red colour of his hair adds another dimension of allure. Akashi is swiping at god knows what on his phone while licking and nibbling on the lips swollen from the lascivious affairs of the previous night.
How Nijimura would wish to cover the smaller body with his, right in this moment, and claim those lips for himself once again...
But Himuro awaits, thus he swallows on his desires and begs them to go away, by then Akashi's stare is back on him already, mischievous and certainly of his own effect;
"Is there something?"
"No. I was just wondering what is it that got you licking your lips like a little kitten?"
"'Kitten'? Really, Nijimura-san?"
"You would make a cute kitten."
Akashi rolls his eyes in annoyance and Nijimura thinks it is even cuter; especially how it emphasises their asymmetry in colour.
"I was looking at the menu of the hotel from their app, it seems I am very hungry. I did not have much of an appetite last night but did not shy away from exhausting myself."
"Oh I see... Well, I would join you but as I said I am meeting a friend for breakfast."
"It is not a problem. I understand."
"You are free for the day?"
He liked having small talk with Akashi, it added this sense of familiarity and aura of a 'couple' which they were in a sense but also not in another sense. He liked to think they were, somehow.
"Yes. Except the evening of course. As you know."
"Oh! Murasakibara!"
"Yes. Atsushi has already arrived Tokyo yesterday. We shall have dinner tonight per Ryōta's suggestion. You promised your attendance as well."
"I will come you know, I am not running away..."
"Good, I think it would be good for Atsushi to meet other adults. He still has issues regarding maturity."
"Hah, not much surprised at that. I am shocked he could even survive without you."
"He is brilliant and perfectly talented in many fields. The problem is thus not one of survival but his own tendency to need for someone to follow. As long as he finds one, he shall be fine. Though I would be happy if he could change that habit."
"And he did? He found someone other than you?"
"Obviously, I was not present in his new environment after all, he had to find someone new and he did."
"Oh? Must have been one hell of a person for Murasakibara to attach himself to. A great basketball player probably? Or maybe an outstanding pastry chef or something?"
"Neither, I am afraid."
"Really?"
"He is good at basketball, very decent indeed, but incomparable to anyone from our old team in Teikō, including Atsushi."
"But I thought Murasakibara only respected and followed people he thought were more skilled than himself?"
"Exactly, thus the mystery."
"A mystery you haven't cracked? I could not even imagine..."
They both snicker simultaneously at that, Akashi is sitting on the bed now, his knees closed together and pulled to himself, his arms settling peacefully around his knees, there is an amused smile on his face.
Nijimura is just hoping that Himuro will not realise how wrinkled his clothes are as he tries to get dressed.
"That person is exceptionally adept in taking care of others, empathising with them, and acquiring their loyalty and respect. One could say he is an expert at reaching out to loners and misfits with splendid skills."
"Oh... interesting. Reminds me of a friend."
Akashi's eyes widen but so slightly that Nijimura cannot catch it, when he speaks again there is a special playfulness to his voice,
"Also to note, he is extremely beautiful. Very exquisite indeed."
"Wow. Okay, if you say so. Will we be able to see this beauty tonight?"
"Probably, they are a bit inseparable."
"Oh, like Kuroko and Kagami?"
"No, not in that manner. At least for now. Future holds many possibilities."
"I see. Should be good meeting him."
"You are such a menkui, Nijimura-san. I hope he does not charm you into oblivion."
This actually surprises Nijimura; he has heard the argument many times, especially from Himuro, and he has to admit there is some truth to it... but this particularly serious and courteous kouhai to utter it so playfully? It is perplexing.
"Well I respect and enjoy beauty but I am not superficial." is his offhand answer, because avoiding or rejecting it would be meaningless against Akashi, who chuckles at the answer, though it is a little dry for a reason the brunette cannot decipher.
"And you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen..." is the statement Nijimura does not pronounce but thinks and feels with every cell of his body; Akashi smiles tenderly then, his eyes are understanding and almost compassionate, as if he already heard the unsaid sentence. Perhaps he knows, Nijimura thinks again and referring not just to the words he swallowed, no, he definitely knows, he corrects himself silently in his own mind.
Well, till he is fed up with it or one of them reveals it... Seems until then Akashi will ignore. Nijimura is fine with that. He is, in fact, more than fine with that.
"Do you remember the address?"
"Not really. Could we go together?"
"Sure. We wouldn't want you 'stopping on the way' after all."
Nijimura chuckles then a thought occurs to him,
"Would we leave together after the dinner? Since you are free tonight? It felt bad to reject you earlier, you know."
Akashi is slightly surprised at the cheeky tone and snickers proudly, amused; there is a tinge to this grand pride the young man holds that somehow turns Nijimura on and it feels so wrong.
"Nijimura-san, nobody could reject me. In consideration of your predicament, I simply took away my offer before fully realising it. That is all there is to it."
"I see..."
One crimson eyebrow rises in elvish threat to which Nijimura replies hurriedly,
"I didn't say that in irony, you know. I fully trust your words on that Akashi-sama. So tonight?"
"Sure, but why wait till night? If you are so desirous, assuming you'll only have breakfast with your friend. Or were you planning to spend the whole day with them until the dinner?"
Now the truth is he actually only promised the breakfast part to Himuro though he had planned to spend the whole day with this friend. But he should be only expected to keep the part which he specifically promised and nothing more, right?
The glint in Akashi's eyes spellbinds him, his complicit conscience stays deliberately silent as he responds in urgency though his words come out dishonestly calm,
"Yeah, sure. I only said we'd have breakfast to my friend."
"Great then, there is this particular hotel I've heard a lot of interesting things about. It is not far from the restaurant where we will have our dinner too."
"Aren't we having the dinner in a fancy restaurant you chose? They have that kind of hotels nearby such upscale places?"
"I guess you would be surprised, but sure. This particular hotel is known for its sensitivity for privacy and popularity among the wealthy."
"Oh, I see..."
"And its play rooms. I hear they have nice settings, various outfits and such."
"Oh... I see."
"So?"
"Well, I wouldn't want to turn you down Akashi-sama."
Akashi chuckles,
"As if. I am wondering if they have a butler uniform? They should, right? Then you could call me 'Akashi-sama' to all your heart's content."
Before Nijimura can respond to the cheeky suggestion, Akashi's head drops to the side and his thin lips adorn a devilish little grin,
"You are going to be late, if you spend any more time here, I am afraid you will have to cancel altogether."
"Damn! Hey! Send me the location to meet for the hotel via text, okay?"
"Sure. Take care Nijimura-san."
"See ya!" he shouts back before rushing himself out the door.
When he is finally outside the hotel, the cold weather slaps his face and he second-guesses himself on whether to go meet Himuro or just return back to the warm hotel room with 'Akashi-sama' in it. He grudgingly swallows his desires and lovestruck follies and makes his way towards the bus stop.
Just a few hours, just a few more; then he can call the other 'Akashi-sama' to all his heart's content...
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"Now this was good..."
"See I told you."
"Yes, you did but I am surprised... How do you even know a place that is not run-down and cheap as dirt?"
"Come on now. That's rude."
"But it is just a little too fancy for your standards, you have to admit."
"Yeah, I know. A friend introduced me to it. Saying that I might have missed American style breakfasts... Though more than half their menu is pretty much Continental than American. Still, tasty."
"Oh? Wow. A breakfast guru, now are you, huh? Which friend is this, I wonder, the same one you talked about other day?"
Perhaps he should not have revealed the 'friend' bit that but what is said is said, there is no way to rewind so Nijimura simply nods as nonchalantly as he can as a response, which unfortunately seems to intrigue Himuro even more.
"Tell me about this kouhai."
"There is not much to tell, really."
"You sure? You spend awfully a lot of time with a person you think there is not much to tell?"
"He is simply perfect and thus perfectly burdened and I cannot help but feel motivated to be there for him when he needs me. It is complicated."
"Wow... And you sure you are not into him?"
"Why are you so curious about my private life all of a sudden? You were never like this before. Why now?"
The answer is already known, Himuro has been especially protective and thus perhaps a little intrusive since Nijimura's father's death last year. But this is hard to admit for both of them and they are both aware of this; hence the question – it is to end that particular line of conversation, a rhetorical device to stop the other, than to actually extract an answer.
It works too, Himuro smiles endearingly and changes the topic. They chat as they drink coffee and soon an hour has already passed and it is past noon, Nijimura realises it is time to leave. This is the tough part and the moment he reveals his intention to leave, Himuro's eyebrows furrow,
"What? What now? You can't be serious."
"I have a thing... in the afternoon."
"You have a 'thing' in the afternoon? What is that supposed to mean? I thought you said you were free until the evening."
"Yeah, I was but then something happened."
"Just what exactly?"
"I need to... meet up with a friend to give him something..."
Well, technically it is not a lie.
"What are you talking about? For God's sake, don't tell me this is about that kouhai you are obviously obsessing over?"
"It is not like that... And I am not obsessing over him."
"Look, I'll say this once and you'll answer once and then we'll assume it was never talked: is this because of your father? Are you searching for a new person to dedicate your whole life to? You found a seemingly perfect boy in dire struggle with various issues and want to be their saviour since you failed in your previous task? A need for a new duty to make your life meaningful? A coping mechanism?"
Nijimura sighs, it is not as if he has never had similar doubts, he was brought to interrogate them by Akashi too, quite a long time ago by now. There a lot about his feelings that he is still unsure of, but not that part.
Akashi is not a coping mechanism even if his presence helps him coping with life, with the aftermath of his father's loss.
"It is not like that. It is true that I can be foolishly selfless, but this time, it is not like that. I guarantee you. Plus, I can be very selfish when it comes to my family, you know that. I don't have time to dedicate myself to another but my family."
There is a tint of guilt and uncertainty in the last few words he utters, Himuro realises it in surprise as well but cannot bear himself to interrogate them. So instead, Himuro gives him the look he gives before a fight; one last check and confirmation of truth and seems to find it – at least some of it enough for short-term relief. He relaxes visibly and Nijimura finds he likes how his friend is protective; my guardian angel, he muses internally, if Himuro heard he would throw a fit. Maybe more a than a fit, God forbid.
Rest of his afternoon goes without a hitch, he makes it to the address Akashi had texted him earlier in the day and the hotel is just as the redhead has described; evidently for the higher class clientèle and thoroughly discreet.
He ends up calling his beloved 'Akashi-sama' to his heart's content and discovers that he might have a thing for role-plays, Akashi too considering how he seemed to enjoy the whole affair, and thus various ideas for such future rendezvous are entertained silently in his mind.
Nijimura is about to wear his now incredibly wrinkled clothes when Akashi hands him a shopping bag,
"I bought a few things on my way since I thought you would not want to wear the same clothes but not have time to drop by home either?"
"Well, thank you. Buying a whole set of attire just for that is a little weird though."
"Is that so? I guess it is for most." Akashi comments casually and Nijimura chuckles; he sometimes feels that he could never get used to this, it is simply that amusing. But then he also finds himself at ease and never disturbed at these subtle revelations of just how different lives they lead, so perhaps he has gotten used to it without realising.
The underwear, black dress shirt, burgundy cardigan, and the navy coloured jeans are all perfect fits and though this is not unexpected coming from the hands of Akashi (who has literally fondled, groped, and measured Nijimura's body far too many times in the recent past to not know exactly his size and proportions), he is contentedly surprised.
They make small talk on the way in the cab and later too, as they walk towards the restaurant – when it is for personal outings, Akashi often prefers to leave the cab a few blocks early and walk a bit, Nijimura somehow manages to find some grace even in this bizarre habit and thinks that perhaps he has become truly pathetically lovestruck to recognise and even be fond of such strange details.
"Considering how rowdy they can be, don't you think an izakaya would be a better place to meet up?"
"They are all underage."
"So are you but you do drink."
"And you let me."
"Would you not drink if I frowned upon it?"
"Perhaps? I am too fond of you after all and you are my 'senpai'. Maybe, I would indulge you?" Akashi chuckles impishly,
"No, you would not. You would look at me with displeasure and then give a long lecture about how irrational society's attempt to standardise 'maturity' is and how it ultimately fails because maturity is a highly subjective concept and also greatly varies from individual to individual. Then you would probably start citing some biological facts and variance in legal drinking age in different countries."
"Oh Nijimura-san, you've figured me all out, huh?"
"Hell no. Who could figure you out? Nobody."
"Don't despair, although it is an impossible task, you are probably the one to ever come so close."
"Kuroko too probably?"
"Yes, but in a different way."
Perhaps it is not a good idea to open the subject of Kuroko moments before they would meet him and even though they have not really talked about the stoic boy in weeks, Nijimura is unsure how Akashi currently feels towards their mutual ex-teammate. Then something happens.
Something ugly and possessive yet inevitable and Nijimura feels a foreign resentment towards the younger man with icy blue eyes... He calms his breathing and wills away his inner demons who have always been too skilful in rising up his temper and inflaming his fury. He could not bear lashing out accidentally and randomly at his ex-teammate out of a newfound jealousy born of a newfound desire to monopolise Akashi.
It is ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous, completely unwarranted, and most importantly very likely to be vexing for Akashi, who probably never feels jealous as such. Not that Nijimura is normally a jealous person either. He has never been so, but he can ascertain the roots of his current state, the uncertainty and insecurity of the bond he has with Akashi agitates and causes his emotions to venture into darkness like this. If he only felt more confident in his relationship with Akashi, in his proximity, he would not waver like this.
He starts to change the subject,
"I still think such a fancy restaurant is a bad idea."
"Well, I am not too fond of spelling out my reasons for an audience but I can make an exception for you, I suppose, considering how sublime a service you've just given me less than an hour ago?"
As his sentence finishes, thin crimson lips bestow a devilish grin and Nijimura feels both bashful and aroused at the specific wording and the tone; how can Akashi play with his moods and the state of his heart so easily and flippantly? This must be illegal, he thinks to himself, this is a crime.
"Glad that I was able to entertain you. So why did you choose it?"
"They serve the most exquisite yokan in the city. Their private dining areas are much spacious and good for company, providing just the necessary privacy but also a great deal of space for one to sit as they like. Since they are a fusion Japanese restaurant that is part modern and part traditional, they recently added a mixed vanilla and matcha flavoured dessert to their menu. It is delightful."
Their conversation pauses for a few seconds as they enter the restaurant, the greeter welcoming them with proper courtesy and leading them to the private dining room where their friends have already gathered, on the way of just few metres, Akashi continues in a smaller voice,
"They also serve a delicious plate of sashimi as mukozuke, I recall you mentioning how you missed eating fine sashimi the other day?"
Nijimura chuckles to himself,
"So you've got Midorima, Murasakibara, Kuroko, and myself covered; fine, what about others?"
"Well, they can eat whatever wherever..." Akashi says, his voice cheerful and playful as their greeter opens the sliding doors of their private room in full accordance with the required courtesy, both nod and Nijimura whispers as they enter the room,
"You know Kise would cry if he heard you say this..."
"Oh well, he cries a little too easily now, doesn't he?" Akashi whispers back in an almost singsong voice which simply tickles Nijimura so well that he cannot contain the rather loud chuckle he gives off, which irks both their greeter and obviously their friends.
"God you are so cheeky sometimes... Nobody would believe me if I told them!" he grumbles as he motions to the low-rise table and soon, in realisation of their full company, his eyes grow wide and his movements slow down considerably though Akashi moves and settles near him unperturbed.
An awkward pause and puzzling looks are exchanged between Nijimura and the man who sits across him on the other side of the table, one well-known Himuro Tatsuya. Nijimura clears his throat,
"I should have known."
"I should have known. Part of a middle school basketball team in Japan? With that much talent?"
"Sapporo. And you have a cute kouhai who loves to sleep, eat snacks, and makes delicious sweets. Wait a second, 'cute kouhai'? Really? Really?"
"Atsushi is dearly cute but I would have to wonder just who the hell you were referring to as your cherished kouhai whom you reacquainted at university?"
Kagami looks confused between the bickering men and turns to Himuro, "Wait, Tatsuya, you two know each other?"
Akashi sighs silently at the sight, he is not surprised at all – he had predicted this as a possibility, albeit a small one; he should have given it more probability since the Fate especially loves torturing him with the oddest chances coming into fruition.
Himuro turns to his surrogate brother and his voice also turns a notch softer for a moment, "Yes, but that is another topic of discussion Taiga," then turns his attention back to Nijimura who stays nonchalant with his signature scowl, despite being rather surprised at the exchange between Himuro and Kagami,
"Murasakibara is a giant of over two metres who only sleeps and eats, as far as I recall. How is that 'cute'? And–"
"You two realise that I am here, right?" Murasakibara mutters with a pout that looks both fitting and bizarre on his face; neither seems to hear the comment and rest of the table seems to be just giving confused stares.
"And? Why not continue on with that sentence Shuu? Just who is this kouhai who is 'perfectly gifted, ethereally beautiful, and exquisitely intelligent yet he is ridiculously even if deservedly proud and vain'? I truly wonder!"
Himuro's lone eye not covered by his odd fringe dangerously lingers over to Akashi, who indifferently comments as he straightens his tie and motions to their waitress who has just come over with the initial course of sakizuke,
"Why, thank you Nijimura-san, that is a rather fitting description. It is quite sweet as well."
"Ugh..." Nijimura stutters a bit, not sure how to move forward but Akashi switches to talking with their waitress,
"I hear you have some delicious bluefin otoro sashimi for mukozuke but serve only to certain customers? I think we would like to be among those certain customers." His charming grin causes a blush on the cheeks of their middle aged server who nods respectfully in confirmation.
This only causes a snicker on the part of the beauty with the peculiar beauty spot,
"Really? Are you just going to decide for all of us? Pretentious as always."
"It is not–"
"Wow, Shuu, you are that quick to come to his defence? You realise how vain his manners are, don't you? Oh wait, you are awfully aware. How can such huge conceit ever be 'deservedly'?"
"Nijimura-san," Akashi starts calmly as he takes a small bite of the appetizer served and he is the only one to do so as rest of his audience is waiting on his words than to actually engage with the food, "has been telling me how he craved some fine sashimi and knowing he would appreciate this, I acted a little brazenly, I suppose? Please, we can inform the lady if you'd like to eat the regular seasonal sashimi they serve?"
Himuro gapes at the proud nonchalance of the ex-captain of Rakuzan and Nijimura feels a headache creeping up his skull. He simply sighs as a heavy pain settles in his stomach.