It had been two months since Asher died and every day went by as slowly painful as the last. I had refused to get out of bed which made Shem do everything around the house and for the children. Evi and Adah were upset about Asher but they spent their time helping their father. Elijah was confused and Naomi spent her days in bed with me. She understood that Asher was gone but could not fathom why. Mother sat by my side all day, feeding me and letting me cry in her arms. I had been getting sick a lot lately and though I didn't want to admit it, Shem and I think that I am with child. We both wanted more children but now that Asher was gone, any new baby would feel like his replacement.
"Mama." Naomi mumbled into my chest, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Yes." I replied, my voice small from rarely speaking in the past two months.
"I miss you." She said.
"I am right here Naomi." I told her.
"But you are always crying and you do not leave bed." She explained. "Papa misses you too."
"It is true." Shem said from the doorway. "Naomi go to the hearth so Adah can wash you."
Once Naomi left, Shem came over and sat down next to me on our mattress.
"I know it hurts, he was my son too. And I know that it is different for you, you carried him, bore him, and feed him, but laying here in misery will not bring him back." Shem told me. "Besides we will have a new child to love."
"Do you think so? It may just be grief." I told him.
"Maybe, but come eat with us, your children miss their mother." Shem said, pulling me to my feet.
"I love you Shem." I told him, kissing him.
"I love you more Ila, I always have and I always will." He said, kissing me back.