A/N: Well, Hello there. sorry I hadn't updated in a while. I had completely forgotten about the website and the stories altogether. but for some reason I decided to check my old email and found a message from irishinkjunkie1024 reminding me about the story. So since I couldn't sleep I figured I might as well update one of the stories. So, here is ch.9, Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own SON/Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 9: Promise

Carmen shook her head. "Okay, so you're with Parker, or with Ashley? I'm confused."

"Parker's not talking to me, so that's sort of up in the air right now," I said, bouncing to readjust my backpack.

She blew out a puff of smoke, and then picked a piece of tobacco from her tongue. "So are you with Ashley?"

"We're friends, Carmen."

"You realize everyone thinks you two are having some sort of freaky friends-with-benefits thing going on that you're not admitting to, right?"

"I don't care. They can think what they want."

"Since when? What happened to the nervous, mysterious, guarded Spencer I know and love?"

"She died from the stress of all the rumors and assumptions."

"That's too bad. I'm going to miss pointing and laughing at her."

I smacked Carmen's arm, and she laughed. "Good. It's about time you quit pretending," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Honey, you're talking to someone's who's lived most of her life pretending. I spotted you a mile away."

"What are you trying to say, Carmen? That I'm closet lesbian?"

"Just that you are hiding something. The cardigans, the demure sophisticate that goes to fancy restaurants with Parker Hayes…that's not you. Either you were a small town stripper or you've been to rehab. The latter's my guess."

I laughed out loud. "You are a terrible guesser!"

"So what's your secret?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?"

Her features sharpened with an impish grin. "I've shown you mine, now show me yours."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your sexual orientation isn't exactly a secret, Carmen."

"Fuck! And I thought I had the mysterious sex kitten thing going for me," she said, taking another drag.

I cringed before I spoke. "Did you have a good home life, Carmen?"

"My mom's great…my dad and I had a lot of issues to work out, but we're good, now."

"I had Arthur Carlin for a father."

"Who's that?"

I giggled. "See? It's not a big deal if you don't know who he is."

"Who is he?"

"A mess. The gambling, the drinking, the bad temper…it's hereditary in my family. Kyla and I came here so I could start fresh, without the stigma of being the daughter of a drunken has-been."

"A gambling has-been from Wichita?"

"I was born in Cleveland. Everything Arthur touched turned to gold back then. When I turned thirteen, his luck changed."

"And he blamed you."

"Kyla gave up a lot to come here with me so I could get away, but I get here and walk face-first into Ashley."

"And when you look at Ashley…,"

"It's all too familiar."

Carmen nodded, flicking her cigarette to the ground. "Shit, Spence. That sucks."

I narrowed my eyes. "If you tell anyone what I just told you, I'll call The Mob. I know some of them, you know."

"Bullshit."

I shrugged. "Believe what you want."

Carmen eyed me suspiciously, and then smiled. "You are officially the coolest person I know."

"That's sad, Carmen. You should get out more," I said, stopping at the cafeteria entrance.

She pulled my chin up. "It'll all work out. I'm a firm believer in the whole things-happening-for-a-reason adage. You came here, Kyla met Aid, you found your way to The Circle, something about you turned Ashley Davies world upside down. Think about it," she said, planting a quick kiss on my cheek.

"Hey now!" Ashley said. She grabbed me by the waist, lifted me off my feet, returning me to the ground behind her. "You're the last person I'd have to worry about that shit from, Carmen! Throw me a bone, here" she teased

Carmen leaned to the side of Ashley and winked. "Later, Cookie."

When Ashley turned to face me, her smile faded. "What's the frown for?"

I shook my head, trying to let the adrenaline run its course. "I just don't like that nickname. It has some bad memories attached to it."

"Term of endearment from the youth minister?"

"No," I grumbled.

Ashley's punched her palm. "Do you want me to go beat the piss out of Carmen? Teach her a lesson? I'll take her out."

I couldn't help but smile. "If I wanted to take Carmen out, I'd just tell her Prada went out of business, and she'd finish the job for me."

Ashley laughed, nudging toward the door. "Let's go! I'm wasting away, here!"

We sat at the lunch table together picking on each other with pinches and elbows to the ribs. Ashleys' mood was as optimistic as the night I lost the bet. Everyone at the table noticed, and when she instigated a mini-food fight with me, it garnered the attention of those sitting at the tables around us.

I rolled my eyes. "I feel like a zoo animal."

Ashley watched me for a moment, noted those staring, and then stood up. "I CAN'T!" she yelled. I stared in awe as the entire room jerked their heads in her direction. Ashley bobbed her head a couple of times to a beat in her head.

Aiden closed his eyes. "Oh, no."

Ashley smiled. "get no….sa…tis…faction," she sang, "I can't get no….sat-is-fac-tion. 'Cuz I've tried…and I've tried…and I've tried…and I've tried…,"she climbed onto the table as everyone stared, "I CAN'T GET NO!"

She pointed to the football players at the end of the table and they smiled, "I CAN'T GET NO!" they yelled in unison. The whole room clapped to the beat, then. Ashley' sang into her fist, "When I'm drivin' in my car, and a man comes on the…ra-di-o…he's tellin' me more and more…about some useless in-for-ma-tion! Supposed to fire my im-agin-a-tion! I CAN'T GET NO! Uh no, no, no!" She danced past me, singing into her imaginary microphone.

The whole room chanted in harmony, "HEY, HEY, HEY!"

"That's what I'll say!" Ashley sang.

Ashley jerked her hips, and a few whistles and squeals from the girls and guys in the room fired off. she walked by me again, singing the chorus to the other side of the room, the football players her backup singers.

"I'll help you out!" A girl yelled from the back.

"…cuz I tried, and I tried, and I tried…," she sang.

"I CAN'T GET NO! I CAN'T GET NO!" her backups chanted.

Ashley stopped in front of me and bent down. "When I'm watchin' my tv…and a…man comes on and tells me….how white my shirts can be! Well he can't be a man, 'cause he doesn't smoke….the same cigarettes as me! I can't…get no! Uh no, no, no!"

Everyone clapped to the beat and the football players sang, "HEY, HEY, HEY!"

"That's what I say!" Ashley sang, pointing to her clapping audience. Some people stood and danced with her, but most just watched with amused amazement.

She jumped to the adjacent table and Kyla squealed and clapped, elbowing me. I shook my head; I Died and woken up in high school musical.

The football players were humming the base line, "Na, na, nanana! Na, na, na! Na na, nanana!"

Ashley held her fist-microphone high, "When I'm…ridin' 'round the world…and I'm doin' this…and I'm signin' that!"

She jumped down, and then leaned across the table into my face, "And I'm tryin' to make some girl….tell me, uh baby better come back, maybe next week, 'cuz you see I'm. On. A losin' streak! I CAN'T GET NO! Uh no, no, no!"

The room clapped to the beat, the football team yelled their part, "HEY, HEY, HEY!"

"I can't get no! I can't get no! Satis-faction!" she crooned to me, smiling and breathless.

The entire room exploded into applause, even a few whistles. I shook my after she kissed my forehead, and then stood up to take a bow. When she returned to her seat in front of me, she chuckled.

"They're not looking at you, now, are they?" she panted.

"Thanks. You really shouldn't have," I smiled.

"Spen?"

I looked up to see Parker standing at the end of the table. All eyes were on me once again.

"We need to talk," Parker said, seeming nervous. I looked at Kyla, Ashley, and then to Parker. "Please?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I nodded, following him outside. He walked past the windows to the privacy of the side of the building. "I didn't mean to draw attention to you again. I know how you hate that."

"Then you might have just called if you wanted to talk," I said.

He nodded, looking to the ground. "It wasn't my intention to find you in the cafeteria. I saw the commotion, and then you, and I just went in. I'm sorry."

I waited, and he spoke again, "I don't know what happened with you and Ashley. It's none of my business…you and I have only been on a handful of dates. I was upset at first, but then I realized that it wouldn't have bothered me if I didn't have feelings for you."

"I didn't sleep with her, Parker. She held my hair while I hurled a pint of Petron in her toilet. That's as romantic as it got."

He laughed once. "I don't think we've really gotten a fair shot…not with you living with Ashley. The truth is, Spencer, I like you. I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to stop thinking about you." I smiled and he took my hand, running his finger over my bracelet. "I probably scared you off with this ridiculous present, but I've never been in this situation before. I feel like I'm constantly competing with Ashley for your attention."

"You didn't scare me off with the bracelet."

He pressed his lips together. "I'd like to take you out again in a couple of weeks, after your month is up with Ashley. Then we can concentrate on getting to know each other without the distraction."

"Fair enough."

He leaned down and closed his eyes, pressing his lips against mine. "I'll call you soon."

I waved goodbye, and then returned to the cafeteria, passing Ashley.

She grabbed me, pulling me onto her lap. "Breakin' up is hard to do?"

"He wants to try again when I'm back at Morgan."

"Shit, I'm going to have to think of another bet," she said, pulling my plate in front of me.

The next two weeks flew by. Other than class, I spent every waking moment with Ashley, and most of that time we spent alone. She took me to dinner, for drinks and dancing at the Red, bowling, and she was called out to two fights. When we weren't laughing ourselves silly, we were play-wrestling, or snuggling on the couch with Toto, watching a movie. She made a point to ignore every girl that batted an eyelash at her, and everyone talked about the new Ashley.

My last night in the apartment, Kyla and Aiden were inexplicably absent, and Ashley labored over a special Last Night dinner. She bought wine, set out napkins, and even brought home new silverware for the occasion. She sat our plates on the breakfast bar and pulled her stool to the other side to sit across from me. For the first time, I got the distinct feeling we were on a date.

"This is really good, Ash. You've been holding out on me," I said as I chewed the Cajun Chicken Pasta she had prepared.

She forced a smile, and I could see she was working hard to keep the conversation light. "If I told you before, you would have expected it every night." Her smile faded, and her eyes fell to the table.

I rolled my food around on my plate. "I'm going to miss you, too, Ash."

"You're still gonna come over, right?"

"You know I will. And you'll be at Morgan's, helping me study just like you did before."

"But it won't be the same," she sighed. "You'll be dating Parker, we're going to get busy…go in

different directions."

"It's not going to change that much."

She managed a single laugh. "Who would have thought from the first time we met that we'd be sitting here? You couldn't have told me three months ago that I'd be this miserable over saying goodbye to a girl."

My stomach sank. "I don't want you to be miserable."

"Then don't go," she said. Her expression was so desperate that the guilt formed a lump in my throat.

"I can't move in here, Ashley. That's crazy."

"Says who? I just had the best two weeks of my life."

"Me, too."

"Then why do I feel like I'm never gonna see you again?"

I didn't have a reply. Her jaws tensed, but she wasn't angry. The urge to go to her grew insistent, so I stood up and walked around the bar, sitting on her lap. She didn't look at me, so I hugged her neck, pressing my cheek against hers.

"You're going to realize what a pain in the ass I was, and then you'll forget all about missing me," I said into her ear.

She puffed a breath of air as she rubbed my back. "Promise?"

I leaned back and looked into her eyes, touching each side of her face with my hands. I caressed her jaw with my thumb; her expression was heartbreaking. I closed my eyes and leaned down to kiss the corner of her mouth, but she turned so that I caught more of her lips than I'd intended.

Even though the kiss surprised me, I didn't pull back right away.

Ashley kept her lips on mine, but she didn't take it any further.

I finally pulled away, playing it off with a smile. "I have a big day tomorrow. I'm going to clean up the kitchen, and then I'm going to head to bed."

"I'll help you," she said.

We did the dishes together in silence, with Toto asleep at our feet. She dried the last dish and set it in the rack and then lead me down the hall holding my hand a bit too tight. The distance from the mouth of the hallway to her bedroom door seemed to take twice as long. We both knew that goodbye was just a few hours away.

She didn't even try to pretend not to watch this time as I changed into one of her t-shirts for bed. She stripped down to her underwear and put on a wife beater, and climbed under the blanket, waiting for me to join her.

One I did, Ashley flipped off the lamp, and then pulled me against her without permission or apology. She tensed her arms and sighed, and I nestled my face into her neck. I shut my eyes tight, trying to savor the moment. I knew I would wish for that moment back every day of my life, so I lived it with everything I had.

She looked out the window. The trees cast a shadow across her face. Ashley clenched her eyes shut, and a sinking feeling settled over me. It was agonizing seeing her suffer, knowing that not only was I the cause of it…I was the only one that could take it away.

"Ash? Are you okay?" I asked.

There was a long pause before she finally spoke. "I've never been less okay in my life."

I pressed my forehead against her neck, and she squeezed me tighter. "This is silly," I said. "We're going to see each other every day."

"You know that's not true."

The weight of the grief we both felt was crushing, and an irrepressible need came over me to save us both. I lifted my chin, but hesitated; what I was about to do would change everything. I reasoned that Ashley didn't see intimacy as anything but a way to pass the time, and I shut my eyes again and swallowed back my fears. I had to do something, knowing we would both lay awake, dreading every passing minute until morning.

My heart pounded as I touched her neck with my lips, and then tasted her flesh in a slow, tender kiss.

She looked down with surprised and her eyes soften with realization of what i wanted she leaned down, pressing her lips against mine with a delicate sweetness. The warmth from her lips traveled all the way to my toes, and I pulled her closer to me. Now that we had taken the first step, I had no intention of stopping there.

I parted my lips, letting Ashleys tongue find its way to mine. "I want you," I said.

Suddenly, the kiss slowed, and she tried to pull away. Determined to finish what I had started, my mouth worked against hers more anxiously. In reaction, Ashley backed away until she was on her knees. I rose with her, keeping our mouths melded together.

She gripped each of my shoulders to hold me at bay. "Wait a sec," she whispered with an amused smile, breathing hard. "You don't have to do this, Spence. This isn't what tonight is about."

She was holding back, but I could see it in her eyes that her self-control wouldn't last long.

I leaned in again, and this time her arms gave way just enough for me to brush my lips against hers. "Don't make me beg," I whispered against her mouth.

With those four words, her reservations vanished. She kissed me, hard and eager. My fingers ran down the length of her back and settled on the elastic of her underwear, nervously running along the gather of the fabric. Her lips grew impatient, then, and I fell against the mattress when she crashed into me. Her tongue found its way to mine once again, and when I gained the courage to slide my hand between her skin and the underwear, she groaned.

Ashley yanked the t-shirt over my head, and then her hand impatiently traveled down my side, gripping my panties and slipping them down my legs with one hand. Her mouth returned to mine once more as her hand slid up the inside of my thigh, and I let out a long, faltering breath when her fingers wandered where no person had touched me before. My knees arched and twitched with each movement of her hand, and when I dug my fingers into her flesh, she positioned herself above me.

"Spencer," she said, panting, "it doesn't have to be tonight. I'll wait until you're ready."

"Look at me, Spencer."

I peered up at her, and her eyes were intent and soft at the same time. She tilted her head, leaning down to kiss me tenderly, and then her body tensed, pushing one finger inside of me in a small, slow movement. When she pulled back, I bit my lip with the discomfort; when she pumped another finger into me, I clenched my eyes shut with the pain. My thighs tightened around her hips, and she kissed me again.

"Look at me,"s he whispered.

When I opened my eyes, she pumped her fingers inside me, and I cried out with the wonderful burning it caused. Once I relaxed, the motion of her body against mine was more rhythmic. The nervousness I had felt in the beginning had disappeared, and Ashley grabbed at my flesh as if she couldn't get enough. I pulled her into me, and she moaned when the way it felt became too much.

"I've wanted you for so long, Spencer. You're all I want," she breathed against my mouth.

She grabbed my thigh with one hand and propped herself up with her elbow, just inches above me. A thin sheet of sweat began to bead on our skin, and I arched my back as her lips traced my jaw and then followed a single line down my neck.

"Ashley," I sighed.

When I said her name, she pressed her cheek against mine, and her movements became more rigid. The noises from her throat grew louder, and she finally pumped her fingers inside me one last time leaving me groaning and quivering/

After a few moments, we relaxed, and let our breathing slow.

"That was some first kiss," I said with a tired, content expression.

She scanned my face and smiled. "Your last first kiss."

I was too shocked to reply.

She collapsed beside me on her stomach, stretching one arm across my middle, and resting her forehead against my cheek. I ran my fingers along the bare skin of her back until I heard her breathing even out.

I lay awake for hours, listening to Ashleys' deep breaths and the wind weave through the trees outside. Kyla and Aiden came in the front door quietly, and I heard them tip toe down the hall, murmuring to each other.

We had packed my things earlier in the day, and I flinched at how uncomfortable the morning would be. I had thought once Ashley slept with me her curiosity would be satiated, but instead she was talking about forever. My eyes snapped shut with the thought of her expression when she learned that what had happened between us wasn't a beginning, it was closure. I couldn't go down that road, and she would hate me when I told her.

I maneuvered out from under her arm and got dressed, carrying my shoes with me down the hall to Aiden's room, Kyla sat on the bed, and Aiden was pulling off his shirt in front of the closet.

"Everything okay, Spence?" Aiden asked.

"Ky?" I said, signaling for her to join me in the hall.

She nodded, watching me with cautious eyes. "What's going on?"

"I need you to take me to Morgan now. I can't wait 'til tomorrow."

One side of her mouth turned up with a knowing smile. "You never could handle goodbyes."

Aiden and Kyla helped me with my bags, and I stared out the window of Kylas car on my journey back to Morgan Hall. When we set down the last of the bags in my room, Kyla grabbed me.

"It's going to be so different in the apartment, now."

"Thanks for bringing me home. The sun will be up in a few hours. You better go," I said, squeezing once before letting go.

Kyla didn't look back when she left my room, and I chewed my lip nervously, knowing how angry she would be when she realized what I'd done.

My shirt crackled as I pulled it over my head, the static in the air had intensified with the coming winter. Feeling a bit lost, I curled into a ball underneath my thick comforter, and inhaled through my nose; Ashleys' scent still lingered on my skin.

The bed felt cold and foreign, a sharp contrast to the warmth of Ashleys mattress. I had spent thirty days in a cramped apartment with Eastern's most infamous tramp, and after all the bickering and late-night house guests, it was the only place I wanted to be.

The phone calls began at eight in the morning, and then every five minutes for an hour.

"Spencer!" Kara groaned. "Answer your stupid phone!"

I reached over and turned it off. It wasn't until I heard the banging on the door that I realized I wouldn't be allowed to spend the day holed-up in my room as planned.

Kara yanked on the knob. " What ?"

Kyla pushed past her, and stood beside my bed. "What in the hell is going on?" she yelled. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she was still in her pajamas.

I sat up. "What, ky?"

"Ashley is a fucking wreck! She won't talk to us, she's trashed the apartment, threw the stereo across the room…Aid can't talk any sense into her!"

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hand, and blinked. "I don't know."

"Bullshit! You're going to tell me what in the hell is going on, and you're going to tell me now !"

Kara grabbed her shower bag and fled. She slammed the door behind her, and I frowned, afraid she would tell the resident advisor, or worse, the Dean of Students.

"Keep it down, Kyla, Jesus," I whispered.

She clenched her teeth. "What did you do?"

I assumed she would be upset with me; I didn't know she'd fly into a rage. "I…don't know," I swallowed.

"She took a swing at Aid when she found out we helped you leave. Spencer! Please tell me!" she pleaded, her eyes glossing over.

"It's scaring me!"

The fear in her eyes forced only the partial truth. "I just couldn't say goodbye. You know it's hard for me."

"It's something else, Spence. She's gone fucking nuts! I heard her call your name, and then she stomped all over the apartment looking for you. She barged into Aiden's room, demanding to know where you were. Then she tried to call you. Over, and over and over," she sighed. "Her face was…Jesus, Spencer. I've never seen her like that.

"She ripped her sheets off the bed, and threw them away, threw her pillows away, shattered her mirror with her fist, kicked her door…broke it from the hinges! It was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life!"

I closed my eyes, forcing the tears that pooled in my eyes down my cheeks

Kyla thrust her cell phone at me. "You have to call her. You have to at least tell her your okay."

"Okay, I'll call her."

She shoved her phone at me again. "No, you're calling her now."

I took her phone in my hand and fingered the buttons, trying to imagine what I could possibly say to her. She snatched it out of my hand, dialed, and then handed it to me. I held the phone to my ear, and took a deep breath.

"Ky?" Ashley answered, hers voice thick with worry.

"It's me."

The line was quiet for several moments before she finally spoke. "What the fuck happened to you last night? I wake up this morning, and you're gone and you…you just leave and don't say goodbye? Why ?"

"I'm sorry. I—,"

"You're sorry ? I've been going crazy! You don't answer your phone, you sneak out and, wha— why ? I thought we finally had everything figured out!"

"I just needed some time to think."

"About what ?" she paused. "Did I hurt you?"

"No! It's nothing like that! I'm really… really sorry. I'm sure Kyla told you. I don't do goodbyes."

"I need to see you," she said, her voice desperate.

I sighed. "I have a lot to do today, Ash. I have to unpack and I have piles of laundry."

"You regret it," she said, her voice breaking.

"It's not…that's not what it is. We're friends. That's not going to change."

"Friends ? Then what the fuck was last night?" she said, anger bleeding through her voice.

I closed my eyes tight. "I know what you want. I just can't…do that right now."

"So you just need some time?" she asked in a calmer voice. "You could have told me that. You didn't have to run out on me."

"It just seemed like the easiest way."

"Easier for who ?"

"I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what it would be like in the morning, loading Kyla's car and…I couldn't do it, Ash," I said.

"It's bad enough that you aren't going to be here anymore. You can't just drop out of my life."

I forced a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow. I don't want anything to be weird, okay? I just need to sort some stuff out. That's all."

"Okay," she said. "I can do that."

I hung up the phone, and Kyla glared at me. "You SLEPT with her? You bitch! You weren't even going to tell me?"

I rolled my eyes and fell against the pillow. "This isn't about you, Ky. This has just become one convoluted clusterfuck."

"What's so difficult about it? You two should be deliriously happy, not breaking doors and hiding in your room!"

"I can't be with her," I whispered, keeping my eyes on the ceiling.

Her hand covered mine, and she spoke softly. "Ashley needs work. Trust me, I understand any and all reservations you have about her, but look how much she's already changed for you. Think about the last two weeks, Spence. She's not like Arthur."

"I'm Arthur! I get involved with Ashley and everything we've worked for…poof!" I snapped my fingers. "Just like that!"

"Ashley wouldn't let that happen."

"It's not up to her, now is it?"

"You're going to break her heart, Spencer. You're going to break her heart! The one girl she trusts enough to fall for, and you're going to nail her to the wall!"

I turned away from her, unable to see the expression that went with the pleading tone in her voice. "I need the happy ending. That's why we came here."

"You don't have to do this. It could work."

"Until my luck runs out."

Kyla threw up her hands, letting them fall into her lap. "Jesus, Spencer, not this shit again. We talked about this."

My phone rang, and I looked at the display. "It's Parker."

She shook her head. "We're still talking."

"Hello?" I answered, avoiding Kyla's glare.

"Spen! Day one of freedom! How does it feel?" he said.

"It feels…free," I said, unable to muster up any enthusiasm.

"Dinner tomorrow night? I've missed you."

"Yeah," I wiped my nose with my sleeve. "Tomorrow's great."

After I hung up the phone, Kyla frowned. "She's going to ask me when I get back," she said. "She's going to want to know what we talked about. What am I supposed to tell her?"

"Tell her that I'll keep my promise. By this time tomorrow, she won't miss me."