Disclaimer: I don't own SON/beautiful disaster
AN: I have no idea why the format was crap but here you go!
I twirled around, scrutinizing my reflection with a skeptical eye. It was white and backless, dangerously short, and the bodice was held up by a short string of rhinestones that formed a halter around my neck.
"Wow! Ashley is going to piss herself when she sees you in that!" Kyla said.
I rolled my eyes. "How romantic."
"You're getting that one. Don't try anymore on, that's the one," she said, clapping with excitement.
"You don't think it' too short? Mariah Carey shows less skin."
Kyla shook her head. "I insist."
I took a turn on the bench while Kyla tried on one dress after another, more indecisive when it came to choosing one for herself. She settled on an extremely short, tight, flesh‑colored number that left one of her shoulders bare.
We rode in her Honda to the apartment to find the Charger gone and Toto alone. Kyla pulled out her phone and dialed, smiling when Aiden answered.
"Where'd you go, Baby?" She nodded and then looked at me. "Why would I be mad? What kind of surprise?" she said, wary. She looked at me again and then walked into Aidens bedroom, closing the door.
I rubbed Toto's black pointy ears while Kyla murmured in the bedroom. When she emerged, she tried to subdue the smile on her face.
"What are they up to now?" I asked.
"They're on their way home. I'll let Ashley tell you," she said, grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh, God…what?" I asked.
"I just said I can't tell you. It's a surprise."
I fidgeted with my hair and picked at my nails, unable to sit still while I waited for Ashley to unveil her latest surprise. A birthday party, a puppy – I couldn't imagine what could be next.
The loud engine of Aiden's Charger announced their arrival. They laughed as they walked up the stairs.
"They're in a good mood," I said. "That's a good sign."
Aiden walked in first. "I just didn't want you to think there was a reason that she got one and I didn't."
Kyla stood up to greet her boyfriend, and threw her arms around him. "You're so silly, Aid. Like I would get mad about that."
"If I wanted an insane girlfriend, I'd date Ashley," Kyla said, smiling as she tilted her head to kiss him.
"It doesn't have anything to do with how I feel about you," Aiden added.
Ashley walked through the door with a square gauze bandage on her wrist. She smiled at me and then collapsed on the couch, resting her head on my lap.
I couldn't look away from the bandage. "Okay…what did you do?"
Ashley smiled and pulled me down to kiss her. I could feel the nervousness radiating from her. Outwardly she was smiling, but I had the distinct feeling she wasn't sure how I would react to what she had done.
"I got a few things today."
"Like what?" I asked, suspicious.
Ashley laughed. "Calm down, Pidge. It's nothing bad."
"What happened to your wrist?" I said, pulling her hand up by her fingers.
A thunderous diesel motor pulled up outside and Ashley hopped up from the couch, opening the door. "It's about fucking time! I've been home for at least five minutes!" She said with a smile.
One man walked in backwards, carrying a plastic‑covered grey sofa, followed by another man bringing in the rear. Aiden and Ashley moved the couch – with me and Toto still on it – forward, and then the men sat the new one in its place. Ashley pulled off the plastic and then lifted me in her arms, setting me on the soft cushions.
"You got a new one?" I asked, grinning from ear to ear.
"Yep, and a couple of other things, too. Thanks guys," she said as the movers lifted the old couch and left the way they came.
"There goes a lot of memories," I smirked.
"None that I want to hold on to." She sat beside me and sighed, watching me for a moment before she pulled off the tape that held the gauze on her arm. "Don't freak out."
My mind raced with what could be under that bandage. I imagined a burn, or stitches or something equally gruesome.
She pulled the bandage back and I gasped at the simple black script tattooed across the underside of her wrist, the skin around it red and shiny from the antibiotic she had smeared on. I shook my head in disbelief as I read the word.
Spencer
"Do you like it?" She asked.
"You had my name tattooed on your wrist?" I said the words, but it didn't sound like my voice. My mind was stretching in every direction, and yet I managed to speak in a calm, even tone.
"Yeah," she said, kissing my cheek as I stared in disbelief at the permanent ink in her skin.
"I tried to talk him out of it, Spence. She hasn't done anything crazy in awhile. I think she was having withdrawals," Aiden said, shaking his head.
"What do you think?" Ashley prompted.
"I don't know what to think," I said.
"You should have asked her first, Ash," Kyla said, shaking her head and covering her mouth with her fingers.
"Asked her what? If I could get a tattoo?" She frowned, turning to me. "I love you. I want everyone to know I'm yours."
I shifted nervously, "That's permanent, Ash."
"So are we," she said, touching my cheek.
"Show her the rest," Aiden said.
"The rest ?" I said, looking down to her other wrist.
Ashley stood, pulling up her shirt. Her impressive abs stretched and tightened with the movement. Ashley turned, and on her side was another fresh tattoo spanning the length of her ribs.
"What is that ?" I asked, squinting at the vertical symbols.
"It's Hebrew," Ashley smiled.
"What does it mean"
"It says, 'I belong to my beloved, and my beloved is mine." My eyes darted to her.
"You weren't happy with just one tattoo, you had to get two?"
"It's something I always said I would do when I met The One. I met you…I went and got the tats." Her smile faded when she saw my expression. "You're pissed, aren't you?" She said, pulling her shirt down.
"I'm not mad. I'm just…it's a little overwhelming." Aiden squeezed Kyla to his side with one arm."Get used to it now, Spence. Ash is impulsive and goes balls to the wall on everything. This'll tide her over until she can get a ring on your finger." Kylas eyebrows shot up, first to me, and then to Aiden.
"What? They just started dating!" "I…think I need a drink," I said, walking into the kitchen. Ashley chuckled, watching me rifle through the cabinets."He was kidding, Pidge."
"I was?" Aiden asked. "He wasn't talking about anytime soon, Ashley hedged. She turned to Aiden and grumbled,
"Thanks a lot, asshole."
"Maybe you'll quit talking about it, now," Aiden grinned.
I poured a shot of whiskey into a glass and jerked my head back, swallowing it all at once. My face compressed as the liquid burned down my throat. Ashley gently wrapped her arms around my middle from behind."I'm not proposing, Pidge. They're tattoos."
"I know," I said, nodding my head as I poured another drink. Ashley pulled the bottle from my hand and twisted the cap on, shoving it back into the cabinet. When I didn't turn around, she pivoted my hips so that I would face her.
"Okay. I should have talked to you about it first, but I decided to buy the couch, and then one thing led to another. I got excited."
"This is very fast for me, Ashley. You've mentioned moving in together, you just branded yourself with my name, you're telling me you love me…this is all very…fast." Ashley frowned.
"You're freakin' out. I told you not to freak out."
"It's hard not to! You found out about my dad and everything you felt before has suddenly been amplified!"
"Who's your dad?" Aiden asked, clearly unhappy about being out of the loop. When I didn't acknowledge his question, he sighed.
"Who's her dad?" he asked Kyla. Kyla shook her head dismissively. Ashleys expression twisted with disgust.
"My feelings for you have nothing to do with your dad."
"We're going to this date party tomorrow. It's supposed to be this big deal where we're announcing our relationship or something, and now you have my name on your arm and this proverb talking about how we belong to each other! It's freaky, okay? I'm freaked out!" Ashley grabbed my face and planted her mouth on mine, and then she lifted me off the floor, setting me on the counter. Her tongue begged entrance into my mouth, and when I let her in, she moaned. Her fingers dug into my hips, pulling me closer."You are so fucking hot when you're mad," she said against my lips.
"Okay," I breathed, "I'm calm." She smiled, pleased that her plan of distraction had worked.
"Everything's still the same, Pidge. It's still just you and me."
"You two are nuts," Aiden said, shaking his head. Kyla playfully smacked Aidens shoulder. "Spence bought something for Ashley today, too."
"Kyla!" I scolded.
"You found a dress?" She asked, smiling.
"Yeah," I wrapped my legs and arms around her.
"Tomorrow it's going to be your turn to be freaked out."
"I'm looking forward to it," she said, pulling me off the counter. I waved to Kyla as Ashley carried me down the hall.
...
Friday after class, Kyla and I spent the afternoon downtown, primping and indulging. We had our nails and toes done, errant hairs waxed, skin bronzed and hair highlighted. When we returned to the apartment, every surface had been covered with bouquets of roses. Reds, pinks, yellows, and whites— it looked like a floral shop. "Oh my God!" Kyla squealed when she walked through the door. Aiden looked around him, standing proud.
"We went to buy you two flowers, but neither of us thought just one bouquet would do it." I hugged Ashley.
"You guys are…you're amazing. Thank you." She smacked my backside.
"Thirty minutes until the party, Pidge." They dressed in Ashleys room while we slipped on our dresses in Aidens. Just as I was fastening my silver heels, someone knocked on the door. "Time to go, ladies," Aiden said. Kyla walked out, and Aiden whistled. "Where is she?" Ashleyasked. "Spence is having some trouble with her shoe. She'll be out in just a sec," Kyla explained.
"The suspense is killin' me, Pigeon!" Ashley called. I walked out, fidgeting with my dress while Ashley stood in front of me, blank-faced. Kyla elbowed her and she blinked.
"Holy shit."
"Are you ready to be freaked out?" Kyla asked.
"I'm not freaked out, she looks amazing," Ashley said. I smiled and then slowly turned around to show her the steep dip of the fabric in the back of the dress.
"Okay, now I'm freakin' out," she said, walking over to me and turning me around.
"You don't like it?" I asked.
"You need a jacket." She jogged to the rack and then hastily draped my coat over my shoulders. "She can't wear that all night, Ash," Kyla chuckled.
"You look beautiful, Spencer," Aiden said as an apology for Ashleys' behavior. Ashleys expression was pained as she spoke.
"You do. You look incredible…but you can't wear that. Your skirt is…wow, your legs are…your skirt is too short and it's only half a dress! It doesn't even have a back on it!" I couldn't help but smile.
"That's the way it's made,Ash."
"Do you two live to torture each other?" Aiden frowned.
"Do you have a longer dress?" Ashley asked. I looked down.
"It's actually pretty modest in the front. It's just the back that shows off a lot of skin."
"Pigeon," she winced with her next words, "I don't want you to be mad, but I can't take you to the frat house looking like that. I'll get in a fight the first five minutes we're there, Baby." I leaned up on the balls of my feet and kissed her lips.
"I have faith in you."
"This night is gonna suck," she groaned.
"This night is going to be fantastic," Kyla said, offended.
"Just think of how easy it will be to get it off later," I said, kissing her neck.
"That's the problem. Every other person there will be thinking the same thing."
"But you're the only one that gets to find out," I lilted. She didn't respond, and I leaned back to assess her expression. "Do you really want me to change?" Ashley scanned my face, my dress, my legs, and then exhaled.
"No matter what you wear, you're gorgeous. I should just get used to it, now, right?" I shrugged and she shook her head. "All right, we're already late. Let's go." I huddled next to Ashley for warmth as we walked from the car to the Sigma Tau house. The air was smoky, but warm. Music boomed from the basement, and Ashley bobbed her head to the beat. Everyone seemed to turn at once. I wasn't sure if they were staring because Ashley was at a date party, or because of my dress, but they were all staring. Kyla leaned over to whisper in my ear.
"I'm so glad you're here, Spencer. I feel like I just walked into a Molly Ringwald movie."
"Glad I could help," I and Aiden took our coats, and then led us across the room to the kitchen. Aiden took four beers out of the fridge and handed one to Kyla , and then to me. We stood in the kitchen, listening to the frat brothers discuss Ashleys last fight. The sorority sisters accompanying them happened to be the same busty blondes that followed Aiden into the cafeteria the first time we spoke. Lexie was easy to recognize. I couldn't forget the look on her face when Ashley pushed her from her lap for insulting Kyla. She watched me with curiosity, seeming to study my every word. I knew she was curious whyAshley Davies apparently found me irresistible, and I found myself making an effort to show her. I kept my hands on Ashleys, inserting clever quips at precise moments of conversation, and joked with her about her new tattoos.
"Dude, you got your girl's name on your wrist? What in the hell possessed you to do that?" Brad said. Ashley proudly turned over her hand to reveal my name.
"I'm crazy about her," she said, looking down at me with soft eyes. "You barely know her," Lexie scoffed. She didn't take her eyes from mine. "We spend every second together. I know her." She furrowed her brow,
"I thought the that freaked you out. Now you're bragging about it?" I leaned up to kiss her cheek and shrugged.
"It's growing on me." Aiden and Kyla made their way downstairs and we followed, hand in hand. Furniture had been pushed along the walls for a make-shift dance floor, and just as we descended the stairs, a slow song began to play. Ashley didn't hesitate to pull me into the middle, holding me close and pulling my hand to her chest. "I'm glad I've never went to one of these things before. It's right that I've only brought you." I smiled and pressed my cheek against hers. She held her hand against my lower back, warm and soft against my bare skin.
"Everyone's staring at you in this dress," she said. I looked up, expecting to see a tense expression, but she was smiling. "I guess it's kinda cool…being with the girl everyone wants." I rolled my eyes.
"They don't want me. They're curious why you want me. And anyway, I feel sorry for anyone that thinks they have a chance. I am hopelessly and completely in love with you." A pained look shadowed her face.
"You know why I want you? I didn't know I was lost until you found me. I didn't know what alone was until the first night I spent without you in my bed. You're the one thing I've got right. You're what I've been waiting for, Spencer." I reached to take her face between my hands and she wrapped her arms around me, lifting me off the floor. I pressed my lips against hers and she kissed me with the emotion of everything she'd just said. It was in that moment that I realized why she'd gotten the tattoo, why she had chosen me, and why I was different. It wasn't just me, and it wasn't just her, it was what we were together that was the exception. A faster beat vibrated the speakers, and Ashley lowered me to my feet."Still wanna dance?"
Kyla and Aiden appeared beside us and I raised an eyebrow.
"If you think you can keep up with me." Ashley smirked.
"Try me." I moved my hips against hers and ran my hand up her. Ashley chuckled and shook her head, and I turned around, moving against her to the beat. She grabbed my hips and I reached around, grabbing her backside. I leaned forward and her fingers dug into my skin. When I stood up, she touched her lips to my ear. "Keep that up and we'll be leaving early." I turned around and smiled, throwing my arms around her neck. She pressed himself against me and I slipped my hands up her back, pressing my fingers into her and then smiling at the noise she made when I tasted her neck.
"Jesus, Spence, you're killin' me," she said, gripping the hem of my skirt, pulling it up just enough to graze my thighs with her fingertips.
"I guess we know what the appeal is," Lexie sneered from behind us. Kyla spun, stomping toward Lexie on the warpath. Aiden grabbed her just in time.
"Say it again!" Kyla said. "I dare you, bitch!"
Lexie cowered behind her boyfriend, shocked at Kylas threat.
"Better get a muzzle on your date, Brad," Ashley warned.
Two songs later, the hair on the back of my neck was heavy and damp. Ashley kissed the skin just below my ear.
"C'mon, Pidge. I need a smoke." She led me up the stairs, and then grabbed my coat before leading me up to the second floor. We walked out onto the balcony to find Parker and his date. She was taller than I, her short, dark hair flat and pinned back with a single bobby pin. I noticed her pointy stilettos immediately, with her leg hooked around Parker's hip. She stood with her back against the brick, and when Parker noticed us walk out, he pulled his hand from underneath her skirt.
"Spencer," he said, surprised and breathless.
"Hey, Parker," I said, stifling a laugh. "How, uh…how have you been?" I smiled politely.
"I've been great, you?"
"Uh," he looked at his date, "Spencer this is Amber. Amber…Spencer."
"Spencer Spencer?" she asked. Parker gave one quick, uncomfortable nod. Amber shook my hand with a disgusted look on her face, and then eyed Ashley as if she had just encountered the enemy.
"Nice to meet you…I guess." "Amber," Parker warned. Ashley laughed once and then opened the doors for them to walk through. Parker grabbed Amber's hand and retreated into the house.
"That was…awkward," I said, shaking my head as I folded my arms, leaning against the railing. It was cold, and there were only a handful of couples outside. Ashley was all smiles. Not even Parker could dampen her mood.
"At least he's moved on from trying his damndest to get you back."
"I don't think he was trying to get me back so much as trying to keep me away from you." Ashley wrinkled her nose.
"He took one girl home for me once. Now he acts like he's made a habit of swooping in and saving every freshman I bagged." I gave her a wry look from the corner of my eye.
"Did I ever tell you how much I Loathe that word?"
"Sorry," she said, pulling me to her side. She lit her cigarette and took a deep breath. The smoke she blew out was thicker than usual, mixing with the winter air. She turned her hand over and took a long look at her wrist. "How weird is it that this tat isn't just my new favorite, but it makes me feel at ease to know it's there?"
"Pretty weird." Ashley raised an eyebrow and I laughed.
"I'm kidding. I can't say I understand it, but it's sweet…in a ashley Davies sort of way."
"If it feels this good to have this on my arm, I can't imagine how it's going to feel to get a ring on your finger." "Ash…."
"In four, or maybe five years," she added. I took a breath.
"We need to slow down. Way, way down."
"Don't start this, Pidge."
"If we keep going at this pace, I'm going to be barefoot and pregnant before I graduate. I'm not ready to move in with you, I'm not ready for a ring, and I'm certainly not ready to settle down."Ashley gripped my shoulders and turned me to face her.
"This isn't the 'I wanna see other people' speech, is it? Because I'm not sharing you. No fucking way."
"I don't want anyone else," I said, exasperated. She relaxed and released my shoulders, gripping the railing.
"What are you saying, then?" She asked, staring across the horizon. "I'm saying we need to slow down. That's all I'm saying." She nodded, clearly unhappy. I touched her arm. "Don't be mad."
"It seems like we take one step forward and two steps back, Spence. Every time I think we're on the same page, you put up a wall. I don't get it…most girls are hounding their significant other to get serious, to talk about their feelings, to take the next step…."
"I thought we established that I'm not most girls?" She let her head drop, frustrated."I'm tired of guessing. Where do you see this going, Spencer?" I pressed my lips against her neck.
"When I think about my future I see you." Ashley relaxed, pulling me close. We both watched the night clouds move across the sky. The lights of the school dotted the darkened block, and party goers folded their arms against thick coats, scurrying to the warmth of the brick and mortar of the fraternity house. I saw the same peace in Ashleys eyes that I had witnessed only a handful of times, and it hit me that just like the other nights, her content expression was a direct result of reassurance from me. I had experienced insecurity, those living one stroke of bad luck to the other; people who were afraid of their own shadow. It was easy to be afraid of the dark side Vegas, the side the neon and glitter never seemed to touch. But Ashley Davies wasn't afraid to fight, or to defend someone she cared about, or to look into the humiliated and angry eyes of a scorned woman. She could walk into a room and stare down someone twice her size, believing that no one could touch her — that she was invincible to anything that tried make her fall. She was afraid of nothing. Until she'd met me. I was the one part of her life that was unknown, the wild card, the variable she couldn't control. Regardless of the moments of peace I had given her, in every other moment of every other day, the turmoil she felt without me was made ten times worse in my presence. The anger that took hold of her before was only becoming harder for her to manage. Being the exception was no longer a mysterious, special thing. I had become her weakness. Just as I was to my father.
"Spencer! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Kyla said, bursting through the door. She held up her cell phone. "I just got off the phone with my dad. Arthur called them last night."
"Arthur?" My face screwed into disgust. "Why would he call them?" Kyla raised her eyebrows as if I should know the answer."Your mother kept hanging up on him."
"What did he want?" I said, feeling sick. She pressed her lips together.
"To know where you were."
"They didn't tell him, did they?" Kylas face fell.
"He's your father, Spencer. Dad felt he had a right to know."
"He's going to come here," I said, feeling my eyes burn. "He's going to come here, Ky!"
"I know! I'm sorry!" she said, trying to hug me. I pulled away from her and covered my face with my hands. A familiar pair of protective hands rested on my shoulders.
"He won't hurt you, Pigeon," Ashley said. "I won't let him."
"He'll find a way," Kyla said, watching me with heavy eyes. "He always does."
"I have to get out of here." I pulled my coat around me and pulled at the handle of the french doors. I was too upset to slow down long enough to coordinate pushing down the handle while pulling at the door at the same time. Just as frustrated tears fell down my frozen cheeks, Ashleys hand covered mine. She pressed down, helping me to push the handle, and then with her other hand, she pulled open the door. I looked at her, conscious of the ridiculous scene I was making, expecting to see a confused or disapproving look on her face, but she looked down at me only with understanding. Ash took me under her arm and we went through the house, down the stairs and through the crowd to the front door. The three of them struggled to keep up with me as I made a bee line for the Charger. Kylas hand shot out and grabbed my coat, stopping me in my tracks. "Spencer!" she whispered, pointing to a small group of people. They were crowded around an older, disheveled man who pointed frantically to the house, holding up a picture. The couples were nodding, discussing the photo among one another. I stormed over to the man and pulled the photo from his hands.
"What In the hell are you doing here?" The crowd dispersed, walking into the house, and Aiden and Kyla stood on each side of me. Ashley cupped my shoulders from behind. Arthur looked at my dress and clicked his tongue in disapproval.
"Well, well, Cookie. You can take the girl out of Vegas…."
"Shut up. Shut Up, Arthur. Just turn around," I pointed behind him, "and go back to where ever you came from. I don't want you here."
"I can't, Cookie. I need your help." "What else is new?" Kyla sneered. Arthur narrowed his eyes at Kyla and then looked to me.
"You look awful pretty. You've grown up. I wouldn't've recognized you on the street." I sighed, impatient with the small talk.
"What do you want?" He held up his hands and shrugged."I seemed to have gotten myself in a pickle, kiddo. Old Dad needs some money." I closed my eyes.
"How much?"
"I was doing good, I really was. I just had to borrow a bit to get ahead and…you know."
"I know," I snapped. "How much do you need?"
"Twenty-five."
"Well shit, Arthur, twenty-five hundred? If you'll get the hell outta here…I'll give that to you now,"Ashley said, pulling out her wallet.
"He means twenty-five thousand," I said glaring at my father. Arthurs eyes scanned over Ashleys.
"Who's this ?" Ashleys eyebrows shot up from her wallet and I felt her weight lean into my back as she restrained herself.
"I can see, now, why a smart guy like yourself has been reduced to asking your teenage daughter for an allowance." Before Arthur could speak, I pulled out my cell phone.
"Who do you owe this time, Arthur?" Arthur scratched his greasy graying hair.
"Well, it's a funny story, Cookie—," "Who?" I shouted. "Benny." My mouth fell open and I took a step back, into Ashley.
"Benny? You oweBenny? What in the hell were you…." I took a breath, there was no point. "I don't have that kind of money, Arthur." He smiled.
"Something tells me you do."
"Well, I don't! You've really done it, this time, haven't you? I knew you wouldn't stop until you got yourself killed!" He shifted, the smug grin on his face had vanished.
"How much ya got?" I clenched my jaw.
"Eleven thousand. I was saving for a car." Kylas eyes darted in my direction.
"Where did you get eleven thousand dollars, Spencer?"
"Ashleys' fights," I said, my eyes boring into Arthurs. Ashley pulled on my shoulders to look into my eyes.
"You made eleven thousand off my fights? When were you betting?" "Adam and I had an understanding," I said, unconcerned with Ashleys' surprise. Arthur eyes were suddenly animated.
"You can double that in a weekend, Cookie. You could get me the twenty-five by Sunday, and Benny won't send his thugs for me." My throat felt dry and tight.
"It'll clean me out, Arthur. I have to pay for school."
"Oh, you can make it back in no time," he said, waving his hand dismissively.
"When is your deadline?" I asked. "Monday mornin'. Midnight," he said, unapologetic.
"You don't have to give him a fucking dime, Spencer," Ashley said, tugging on my arm. Arthur grabbed my wrist.
"It's the least you could do! I wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for you!" Kyla slapped his hand away and then shoved him.
"Don't you dare start that shit again, Arthur! She didn't make you borrow money from Benny!" Arthur looked at me with loathing in his eyes.
"If it weren't for her, I woulda had my own money. You took everything from me, Spencer. I have nothin'!" I thought time away from Arthur would lessen the pain that came with being his daughter, but the tears flowing from my eyes said otherwise.
"I'll get your money to Benny by Sunday. But when I do, I want you to leave me the hell alone. I won't do this again, Arthur. From now on, you're on your own, do you hear me? Stay. Away."
He pressed his lips together and then nodded."Have it your way, Cookie." I turned around and headed for the car, hearing Kyla behind me."Pack your bags. We're going to Vegas."