Chapter 2
The cold feeling that runs through me as I sit in the Dauntless meeting room the next morning is a hideous reminder of what I learnt yesterday. The plans they must have made in here.
Darius Reed, the new leader of Dauntless, stands around the long table that sits each staff member of the control room.
He is short but built. His callous hands are gripped firmly around the only vacant chair at the table. He looks at each of us in turn, awaiting silence in the chatter.
His eyes glide over to me, where they stay focused but slightly narrow.
He has a large scar from the top of the left side of his forehead and ending just below his right eye.
His skin is as dark and warm as caramel, but his eyes are chilling.
"Quiet." He says in a low, raspy voice. Everybody stops talking immediately. Now that must be a first.
"My name is Darius Reed and I am the new leader of Dauntless. I called this meeting so I could introduce myself personally to each member of staff in the Control Room." He eyes the room once more. "Since the almost attack on Abnegation last year and the subsequent execution of Max, you have had an interim leader, Four. Now that he has moved on to do what he does best, I am the new leader, permanently."
My eyes search the room at the others, some have raised eyebrows and some are showing no emotion at all. I knew Four wasn't going to be leader forever, but I thought he would have at least told me he was going to step down after Choosing Day.
I am glad I took his place in the Control Room when he became leader. Anything is better than guarding the fence on the cold, bitter days. That was my second option, working with Christina guarding the fence.
The Control Room is an easy place to work. Hardly anybody talks, which I enjoy since it allows me time to reflect on my emotions and have time to think peacefully. Since living in the Dauntless compound is filled with roars of laughter and screams of enjoyment I take this time for myself.
"For the relationship between leaders and the Control Room to thrive, I think it is best that we agree now to never to lie to one another." He continues, "I know this isn't exactly a Dauntless manifesto, more of a Candor, but this is the best way it will work. We will not hide things from you, and you will not hide anything from us. Your roles in the Control Room are going to become extremely important. Therefore we must trust one another."
The hairs on the back of my neck prick with apprehension. How far are they willing to go to make sure the truth is told? I cannot help but fear the truth serum. The way Christina has spoken about it in the past frightens the life right out of me.
Besides, if anybody ever expected me being Divergent – and used truth serum on me – I would be dead.
"Why do you, all of a sudden, thrive on getting the truth?" Asks a young woman, not much older than me, with bright pink hair shaved at both sides and thrown back in a ponytail – with of course no less than thirteen piercings on her face.
The first person to talk.
Darius glances across the room at her, the glare he gives her could turn her warm blood to ice. Her head bows in submission. I can't believe it.
"We need the truth now more than ever because from today, Dauntless will be making a few changes. Why don't you all, for one moment, put yourselves in Abnegations shoes and empathize with how they would have felt. Like cattle going to slaughter."
Dauntless are paranoid.
"We have guns and we are trained to protect ourselves." He looks down toward the table, his eyes meeting nobodies for the first time since the meeting began. "One of the manifestos of Dauntless is to protect those who cannot protect themselves. I believe this means more to us now more than ever. We will be keeping you informed during the process. Meeting adjourned."
With that, he shifts out of the room and into his office, slamming the door behind him.
I have seen a different side to him.
Darius wants us to be honest – Candor.
Darius want us to empathize – Abnegation.
Darius wants us to protect those who cannot protect themselves – Dauntless.
Could Darius be Divergent? And what changes could they possibly need to make?
I know one thing for sure, Max enforced "faction before blood" into Dauntless more than any other faction. Why is everything changing now?
I begin to descend the steps of the pit, keeping as close to the walls as possible. I feel dizzy with information from the meeting.
I keep my head down, focusing on my steps and breathing.
There are children running up the steps dangerously close to the edge, each with a different colour hair. Their laughing is infections and soon I find a smile creeping across my face.
I look down to the gathering on the ground, there is a group of faces that I've never seen. They must be the transfers.
In the crowd is a halo of blond hair. I take a closer look and see her laughing with a tall, dark haired man with his back to me. Well, she's pretty.
I drag my eyes away from her, focusing more closely on the back of the man she is laughing with. The broad shoulders, the stance and the beginning of his tattoo is a clear giveaway, she's laughing with Tobias.
A feeling that I don't often get spreads through me like wildfire. It begins at the soles of my feet, spreading upwards throughout my body and fills my face with fire.
Absentmindedly, my steps have been getting faster and faster.
Careful Tris, he is only talking to her.
I stand behind him, clearing my throat so he becomes aware of my presence.
He turns to face me. "Tris." He says coldly.
"Sorry to interrupt" I murmur "but I was wondering if I could talk to you?"
"Oh, now you want to hear me out?" He laughs bitterly.
The pretty girl behind him shuffles away. "See you later, Four" she squeaks. With one last flick of her hair, she's gone.
My insides turn in on themselves as I try to hold myself back.
His eyes shift to mine as if he's waiting for me to say something about her. I remember how poor I am at keeping my emotions in check, anger is seeping its way through my veins making my face hot. I may as well have it in big bold letters on my forehead.
I hate that he looks so good when he's angry, the knit between his brows and the ticking in his jaw create a feeling deep within me that I am unfamiliar with. I try my hardest not to look into the depths of his eyes, the pools of brown drawing me in further, leaving me breathless.
I am about to lose all of my resolve.
I try as quickly as possible to collect my equilibrium.
"Forget it then, Four." I use his Dauntless name against him, his last comment stung.
His mouth sets into a grim line, I steady myself and try not to look at his beautiful mouth.
I turn and walk away towards the training rooms.
"Come to my apartment at nine." He calls after me.
I look back to him, one last glance. I see the corners of his mouth turned up in amusement.
I don't get the joke.
I make my way surely and steadily to the training room, knowing exactly what I am going there to do. The heat in my veins from the argument with Tobias and petty jealousy over the blond bombshell will not subside unless I do this.
I pick up the white tape from the table in the corner of the room and begin wrapping it around my knuckles.
I walk over to the punching bag and begin slowly and steadily hitting the bag as hard as possible. My breathing is rapid but on the inside I'm calm and relaxed. Keeping the tension at my waist, I hear Tobias' words coming back to me when he first taught me how to throw a good punch at Peter.
When I'm done, I wipe my face with a towel and feel my muscles ache. I come to the realisation that I enjoy the dull ache that I feel from exertion. Whether it's running for the train, throwing a punch or throwing a knife above Uriah's head for a bet, it's what I enjoy best.
Maybe I am Dauntless after all, more than any other faction I have an aptitude for. I guess I'll find out soon enough.
I arrive at Tobias' apartment, showered and changed at nine, as he told me to. I considered not going, feeling drained from everything that's happened today. All I feel like doing at the moment is having a long rest.
I knock at the door and pick at my nails until it swings open.
"Tris, you can just come in you know. I gave you a key for a reason." He laughs while he is saying this, but in the undertone is a scolding.
"Sorry." I turn and close the door behind me.
"Well you're certainly in a better mood since the last time we talked. You're very mercurial you know." He murmurs. I'm not completely sure whether I was supposed to hear the last part.
I sit down on the bed and try to make myself as comfortable as possible, even though inside I feel anxious. I try, and fail, to look nonchalant. I can only imagine how awkward I look to him.
He leans against the kitchen counter, as if he expects me not to stay. He looks comfortable and chilled, as if he is completely confident in himself. I envy him.
The corners of his mouth turn up into a small smile when he catches me appraising him. I return his smile but look down to the ragged blanket, fiddling with it distractedly.
"So, where do you want to begin? With the attack on Abnegation or the green little monster you turned into earlier?" His eyes burn into me, he's not amused anymore.
I don't know what to say to him now – he knew I got jealous when he was laughing with her. How can I possibly be accusatory and angry with him for something so huge when I turned into a little girl getting angry because her boyfriend was talking to someone else? I feel ashamed, I don't know how to begin answering his question.
I gather my wits about me and sit up taller, building my courage from the skills I have learnt over the past year. I lift my chin to appear more intimidating.
I suck in a deep breath, ready to face the daemons. But before I can begin talking, he interrupts me.
"Let's start with the easier of the two, what the hell happened to you in the pit?" He asks, his face searching mine as if looking for the explanation there.
I return to looking at my knotted fingers.
"I'm sorry, I saw red when I spotted you laughing with that girl."
"Molly." He interrupts.
Great, another Molly. She is so much different from the last one I encountered in initiation, I hope.
"I shouldn't, but I feel very protective over you – given the way our relationship began."
He approaches me and his face softens and almost smiles, almost.
"Thank you for being honest, but really Tris you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm in love with you and only you. I thought you knew this" The knit between his brows has returned and I have an enormous urge to kiss it.
He brings his hand up to my face and strokes his thumb across my cheek. My face flushes. It feels like a trail of fire has been left from his touch.
Throwing away my inhibitions, I lift my head to his and plant a soft kiss on his forehead.
He lets out a small sigh.
He takes a seat next to me on the bed, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"And now for the heavy stuff." He begins.
I let out a small nervous laugh, it's all I can do.
"Before you tell me what you know, or found out, I have something big that I need to explain to you about my mother." He sounds pained. "She's alive Tris, and she's living Factionless. Well, she's their leader actually." He can't meet my eyes. My jaw could have literally hit the floor.
"What? How did you find her? Or did she come looking for you?" I ask.
He goes on to explain the note he received from her, meeting her on the train and subsequently her warning him about the attack Erudite was planning which led to him investigating Max's computer.
"Okay, I have one question only about this and I'll never ask you anything again. I know you won't want to talk anymore about it. Why on earth didn't she take you with her?"
"She said she didn't leave voluntarily, she was pushed. She couldn't take me with her." His hands are limp in his lap.
"And you believe her?" I ask incredulously.
"I'm not really sure on what to think."
I hate the bitch. Who in their right mind would leave a young boy with his beyond evil father that beat him and locked him in a tiny coat cupboard? I don't care if you were pushed – you hold on to every last straw you can.
"And what did you do with the information she gave you?" I ask simply.
"I went to see him – Marcus." His eyes flare at the mention of his name.
"And he didn't believe you." I conclude.
He mustn't have, the day in which the attack was carried out, both me and Tobias' spotted him among the Abnegation lined up against the walls with guns directed at their foreheads.
We were too focused on finding my parents to even consider trying to sacrifice ourselves to save Marcus. The trouble was, we couldn't find my parents anywhere.
It was as if they had disappeared into thin air, nowhere to be found in the Abnegation's quarters of the city.
As if saved by God himself, the system shut down before anybody spotted we were awake during the attack.
Everybody turned back into their normal selves, just in the nick of time. Guns were lowered and we all looked around at each other, dumbfounded.
Then, we all did a very un-Dauntless thing and ran back to the headquarters.
I pray nothing like that ever happens again. My parents were later found – they had been to deliver food to the Factionless, just the two of them.
"No, he didn't," Tobias says, bringing me back to the present. "Are we finished with the questions now? I'm tired." He yawns to put in the extra exaggeration.
I suppress a giggle.
"Yeah, everything's good." I smile at him.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" He wears a small smile and looks slightly anxious, as if he expects me to say no. His eyes plead with me.
"Of course Tobias."
"I'll get you one of my shirts." He stands and walks to his dresser and pulls out a simple black t-shirt. I take my shirt and trousers off quickly and slip it on.
It smells just like him.
"Shall I set myself up on the floor?" He asks - his eyes twinkling.
I've already slipped into bed.
"No." I pull the duvet back. "Will you sleep with me?"
"You don't have to ask me twice."
I can't help it, I let out a loud laugh. He jumps in next to me – bouncing as hard as he can onto the mattress – almost sending me up into the air. He wraps his huge arms around me and I feel warm instantly.
"Lay on your side facing away from me."
I obey and does what he says without hesitation.
"Can I tell you a bedtime story?" He asks, I can feel his smile against my neck.
"Mm-hmmm" I murmur.
"Once upon a time, there was a young boy who lived in a small grey house across the path from a young girl. The boy thought this girl was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, her sandy blond hair and her blue eyes brought the brightest of colours to the bland clothes she wore every day. He watched her grow from a baby into a child, a child into a teenager and now a woman. The boy was terrified to talk to her, or anyone else for that matter in case they asked him questions he didn't know how to answer. So he kept his distance. He moved out of the house eventually, he hoped one day he may see her again. Then on choosing day a couple of years later, a tumble of grey fell into the Dauntless net. He couldn't believe exactly what he was seeing – she had defacted and joined him. He knew then that it was fate and there was nothing he could do to stop it." His voice is thick with emotion.
I pull my hand to my eye as discreetly as possible, attempting to stop the stray tear from leaking onto the pillow.
"I love you Tris." He kisses the back of my neck and nuzzles into me.
I drift into sleep, dreaming of grey houses and a dark haired little boy I seldom saw outside.