Chapter 4

Walking the steps of the pit during the night is surprisingly eerie. The chants, chatter and shouting always makes sure the Dauntless compound is never a dull place to be.

But tonight, when there is only the odd person moving here or there - a shift beginning or ending, maybe – makes it surreal.

There is dim blue lights hanging from the stone walls – I wonder idly what a strange colour to have. Could you choose? I make a mental note to ask Will, he'll know why the lights are blue. That boy knows everything.

I have been summoned to see Darius – why in the middle of the night, I have no idea. I guess I'll soon find out.

When I reach his office, he's not sat at his desk.

How odd the tall ceiling to floor glass panes that create Darius' office look against the thick walls of stone. They seem so out of place and modern.

I wait patiently outside until I see a tall, dark figure to my left moving towards me in the shadows of the corridor.

My heart begins to beat faster, I still haven't recovered from Eric's spontaneous attack yesterday. The shadow moves at a fast pace, past one of the glowing lights and suddenly his face is illuminated, Darius.

I knew it would be him, so why am I suddenly afraid of shadows?

"Come in and take a seat Tris." His tone is short and clipped but I have a feeling he always talks this way.

I take a seat on the white cold, hard plastic chair as he ordered.

I make sure to sit up straight, shoulders back and eyes stern. I know I will never be exactly intimidating, but I can certainly try in my stance to show an air of confidence.

"Obviously, you are going to question why I asked you here during the night." He begins. "I don't want us to be interrupted."

I make sure my face shows no sign of emotion, even though inside my mind is begging to behave nervously. I can feel the small tug in my fingers to pick at my nails or the urge to bite the inside of my cheek. But I don't – it's a miracle, surely.

"Before I move onto why I asked you here – do you have any questions for me?" He raises his left eyebrow. The movement draws me to his scar and I have to stop myself asking how he got it.

"Why are you doubling my rotation in the Control Room?" I ask bluntly, almost bored.

"Because we are doubling surveillance." He says, just as bluntly.

"Why?"

"Because, here in Dauntless it is our mission to protect those who cannot protect themselves. I thought you knew this, I re-iterated it more than ever in our previous meeting." He leans as far back in his chair as possible. "Max really did mess you all up with this faction before blood stuff, didn't he?" He murmurs the last part – I assume he was talking more to himself than to me. "One of the ways we are going to do this is to see everything. If we can see everything, there's a higher chance we will know everything."

I am unclear on his motives. He is desperately trying to show me the good in his strategy, but I'm not sure yet whether I really see it.

"That's why you're here now, because I want to explain our newest approach to you."

"Why me?"

"Why not you?" He smirks. "I know you're different Tris, you're thoughtful and you are loyal to what you believe in. You are somebody I want on my team. I need your fully fledged help going forward."

He must know I'm Divergent, he must.

"Is there anything suspicious you may have noticed that you would like to tell me about?" He is indirectly asking me about Eric, they must have seen him in the compound or on the cameras.

"No." I say with conviction. I don't blink.

He's not satisfied with my answer, but he moves along anyway. I know he asked us not to lie to one another, but this secret I must not tell. I will not say his real name aloud in the presence of Darius.

"There is an important lesson that I would like you to take through life, Tris" He looks at me thoughtfully. His hands are crossed in front of him, he seems relaxed. "People will only show you what they really want you to see."

I look directly into his eyes, and the expression on his face softens.

I mull over his words in my mind, he is right – people will only show you exactly what they want you to see. I think of the way I changed my posture as soon as I sat down to seem more intimidating. To anybody else, I could have been intimidating – they had no idea that inside my stomach was churning with nerves and I was desperately trying to quell my shaking hands. Sometimes I feel like he sees right through me. It's alarming.

Instead of looking at him, my gaze drops to his desk. I see that he has a small photo frame placed on the left hand side. At the way it is angled, I can just make out a beautiful woman with long, thick black hair. No older than thirty five. She wears a happy smile and I spot tattoos peeking out from beneath her clothing. Stood next to her is a girl no older than I am, if I were to hazard a guess she would be my age. I recognise her from somewhere, but I cannot place her. She looks the spitting image of what I am assuming is her mother. Long, dark hair – but she has way more tattoos than she does.

I look back to Darius, luckily he hasn't seen me observing the picture on his desk as he is gazing at his hands.

"There is something I need you to do that I know you won't like." His hands wrap around the edge of his desk, as if to brace himself "I need you to go back into your fear landscape while being monitored by a leader. For the people moving up in the ranks, it is requested that we know exactly what you are afraid of. Fears can often change and since the last time you were observed was a year ago, we must ask you to re-enter the simulation." He must expect me to cower away from this.

"Okay, I'll go back in."

"I sense a 'but' coming on…"

"My request is that only you and Four monitor me. I want nobody else in the room." I say.

"Sure."

Sleep doesn't take over me as quickly as I'd hoped when I arrive back to my bed. Christina is star-fished, limbs sprawling off the edge of her bed. I crept in, although I know there really was no need – Christina wouldn't wake up if the Dauntless train suddenly passed through the room.

I set my alarm for eight in the morning, thankful that I have been let off from tomorrow's shift. I allow myself to have some time between now and when I drift off to carry out my nervous habits without any judgement. I pick my nails to within an inch of their life and chew the inside of my cheek until it bleeds. It feels therapeutic.

I lie on my back and once again stare at the bland pipes that run across the ceiling. I'll never sleep while I feel like this. I lie there for what feels like an eternity, and finally my alarm bleeps. Time for my fear landscape.

I await to be called in the waiting area next to the simulation room, the cold off-white tiles look even worse now than they did the first time. The light reflects off them in the most unnerving way.

I'm not alone in the waiting room as I had expected to be, there are two initiates sat opposite awaiting the same fate.

The first stage of training must have been and gone, I make another mental note to ask Tobias what the rankings were. I hope Molly didn't pass.

I shake my head as if to clear it, I should never wish anybody to be Factionless. I wonder idly if I have ever had an Abnegation bone in my body.

Of course I do, my aptitude test showed it.

Finally, the door opens and Darius stands with his arm resting on the frame.

"Tris, come in please."

I rise and walk confidently towards the simulation room door.

I expect to see Tobias sitting in his usual spot behind the computer screen, but he is nowhere to be seen.

Darius takes a seat at the back of the room and motions for me to sit in the reclined chair.

"Where's Four?" I ask.

"He's taking Molly back to the transfer's dormitory, I don't think she handled her first simulation very well." He says.

The unwelcome feeling of jealously courses through me once again. My jaw tightens and sets itself in a grim line. I have the urge to get up and walk out of the back door to hunt them down, but I restrain myself.

I need to be distracted from this awful feeling.

"So are you sitting in on every simulation now?" I question.

"Yes, is that a problem?" His tone is sharp.

"No, I just think it could be seen as a waste of time and resources, that's all."

I lie back into the chair with a thud, fists clenched.

Tobias walks into the room and I see a faint gleam of sweat on his forehead. My anger rises past a level I even knew I had.

He smiles warmly at me, but it soon disappears when he sees the expression on my face.

"What's wrong?" He asks, concerned.

"Darius, please may I have a moment alone with Four?" I ask. He is an observant man, I'm pretty sure he knows why I am asking him to do this for me.

He sighs heavily.

"If you must. I'll be waiting outside with the rest of the initiates. I might just frighten them a little." He smirks and leaves the room.

Neither I nor Four laugh along with him.

"When I say this Tris, it will be for the very last time. Stop getting jealous about Molly. It is you I want, not her. How hard is it for you to understand that?" His voice gets louder. "I am terrified of losing you. Can you not see that?" He looks at me incredulously.

"Sorry" I look down towards my hands.

"Sorry I shouted, I hate raising my voice." He says apologetically. "On one hand - and I hate to admit this - I love how protective you are." He gives me a shy smile that melts my heart. Suddenly I'm wondering what I did to deserve him. He's right – I am mercurial.

He steps closer towards me. I follow his gaze to my tattoo.

"You got an extra bird?"

"Yes, my other ones represented my family. You're part of my family now. Four birds for Four himself." I giggle.

He bends down and lightly kisses the new addition.

Darius re-enters the room.

"Well, now that that's over, let's begin."