Chapter 5
It starts with the birds.
I run the familiar dark yellow grass through my fingers, it is as dry as straw. The sun is beautiful and bright, only blocked partially on occasion by the wings of the crows.
If I was here under any other circumstances, I would say the setting was beautiful.
That's when it begins.
The crows swarm together, squawking like their life depends on it. One by one, they dart towards me. I turn and run towards the area where the fire will begin any moment.
It doesn't – why is there no fire? How am I supposed to kill the birds?
My already rising panic triples in intensity. That's when I feel the sharp claws wrap around my shoulders. I can hear the shredding of my skin. I can't see anything, a swarm of black has surrounded me and I can't make out any one particular thing.
I hit as many of them as I can away from my face – still no fire. I drag my feet, slowly but surely picking up the pace.
Suddenly my feet fall beneath me further into the earth than I anticipated and I'm stuck once again. I drag my right foot as best as I can, but it feels too heavy.
I feel a pair of hands at my back and in one sharp, unbidden movement I surge forward, unable to gain my balance due to my predicament and I fall into deep, deep water.
At first there is nothing, nothing but water - exactly like my nightmares. I swim upward, but no matter how much water I feel I'm treading, I see no way out. I see nothing at all.
My hands collide with a barrier of glass and suddenly I'm transported into a tall, thin box. I take these precious moments to catch my breath since there is nothing but a shallow amount of water around my feet.
My heart is still beating uncontrollably in my chest. I slam my elbows into the glass – knowing full well nothing will happen – but it's always the first idea my mind has for an escape. Within seconds, the water is around my waist and rising further.
I pull off my leather jacket as swiftly as I can but it takes much longer than I would have hoped, I have a few moments before the tank fills completely.
I shove it into the pipe where the water is gushing from, but it won't work. I try and try again, but it won't work. I'm not that good at holding my breath and at this point I'm in desperate need for it. I decide to switch to Plan B – slowing my heart rate.
I am lucky enough to have caught the last few seconds before the tank will be full to the brim, my head pokes just above the line of water. I inhale sharply, using my energy to stay afloat. I can't catch my breath – so my heart rate doesn't have a chance in hell of slowing.
It's going to be a long time before this simulation ends.
But this simulation feels different – almost not right. I can't put my finger on it.
Before I get chance to mull it over much further the tank abruptly loses the water – it takes less than a second.
I fall desperately from the top of the tank and into the glass. The impact smashes the glass and I freefall into the black nothingness.
My face slams straight into the hard rock. I wasn't able to soften the blow with my hands and now my head is crippled with pain.
I don't have a chance to check it over before a large wave engulfs me. Its pull towards the ocean scares the living daylights out of me. I'm barely gripping onto the rock.
Darius is watching me - I've got to think like a Dauntless. What would a Dauntless do?
I decide to climb the rocks, my limbs heavy with wet clothing, burdening them. I slip a couple of times but manage to get about half way up. Another wave, shit!
I feel the pull – my hand slips from the rock. Should I let go and let the wave take me? It will make this quicker. But I can't, Darius will figure out I'm Divergent. He's too observant.
Quickly, too quickly, the wave disappears as if it hadn't been there in the first place. I turn around to take a glance out of curiosity. Bad move. I lose my footing and fall, straight for the rocks below.
My body tilts in a way which I hadn't asked it to, I feel out of control.
I land on my feet – from that height I would have broken my legs, or my neck at worst.
This is wrong.
My surroundings change and I am back to the area outside of the fence with the long grass. I know what's coming now. I hate it when my friends are involved. It's the scariest out of them all – seeing them behave differently than they usually would.
I back up a few steps and the familiar wooden pole comes into contact with my back. I reach around in an attempt to push it away, another bad move on my part, and my hands are suddenly tied with rope.
The smell hits me before the sight of it does. Burning. The smokes everywhere – it almost engulfs me as bad as the wave.
I'm now bound by my hands and my feet as well. I can't move.
I catch movement to the left in my peripheral vision, the shadow walks slowly and without purpose towards me. Eric, of course it would be Eric.
I look to my right, expecting to see somebody else. Christina.
They meet together in front of me, looking at one another, as if I wasn't even there. They smile with familiarity at each other. Eric takes Christina's face in his hands, their lips meet with passion I have only experienced with Tobias.
It makes me extremely embarrassed, I cannot look at them. But every time I try to look away I am forced back – the intensity of the kiss has become more insistent. There is a pull that is drawing my attention to them and I cannot stop it. This simulation isn't making me frightened or panic, it's driving me crazy.
The heat – it's everywhere. I can feel it from the flames, but it's not them alone. My face is flushed from humiliation – humiliation for watching them.
Their faces turn towards me and they begin to laugh, a really loud, piercing laugh.
The kind of laugh you know is directed exactly towards you.
Then they disappear into thin air. The smoke, the fire, the heat – it all disappears as quickly as it began.
The hallway of the compound is deserted, it's so quiet I can hear the sounds of my own breathing. A rare occasion in the Dauntless faction.
This is a brand new fear, one I have never experienced before. This makes me feel even more nervous than I already am.
I'm paralyzed – unsure of where to go or what to do, or even what to expect.
I decide to walk towards the dining hall, an area I have always felt safe in – full of life.
Then I hear a familiar sound – thumping of boots against the hard stone. I remember where I've heard this before. A year ago, when Eric used to walk the hallways. He could never walk normally, he always had to make sure everyone know he was there.
Turning behind me, my worst suspicions were confirmed.
He had the same gleam in his eyes from our meeting in the hallway – he didn't just look angry, he looked dealthy furious.
If looks could kill…
His pace quickens, so I run as fast as possible. My adrenaline has spiked so I'm running much faster than I thought I would. Will it be quick enough?
He's so much taller and stronger than I am – I will never outrun him.
Just like the crows, I feel two claws wrap around in a vice grip around my shoulders. So painful. His full body overwhelms me and I drop to the ground beneath him, unable to breathe when he is on top of me.
Familiarity dawns once again in what I pray is my last scenario. I can pretty much guess that it is – since it's the one where I have to kill my loved ones. This is, and always will be, my worst fear.
Sitting behind a small, plain table is Tobias. There is a dim light that swings from side to side above him. Where the wind is coming from that is moving the light, I have no idea.
Even though his face is expressionless, he still looks just as beautiful. The crook in his nose, the deep brown eyes that can draw me in for eternity and the freckles that mar his face all stand out handsomely.
I follow the sound of footsteps. Darius enters the room and places a gun on the table between me and Tobias.
"Shoot." He demands.
I pick up the gun from the table, check if it's loaded and bring it down to my side.
"Never."
He lets out a small laugh that doesn't reach his eyes.
I take a few cautious steps away from them both, just to be sure they don't stop what I am about to do.
Bringing the gun to my temple. I look directly at Darius.
"You never said who."
I pull the trigger.
Am I not supposed to wake up now?
There is a loud screeching in my mind that is taking over me. I feel empty and I see nothing. Is it over? Why am I not coming back around?
The sound is becoming louder and louder, I can't bear it.
Stop, please make it stop.
Then it ends. There is nothing.
My eyes flutter open, but I am not in the simulation room as I had expected. I'm in the Dauntless hospital. I recognise it from when I was here last time – when I had fought Peter.
I gather my bearings, my mouth is so dry.
I have a visitor. I recognise her instantly – she doesn't have the type of face you would forget in an instant, like mine. She's the woman from the picture on Darius' desk.
She smiles at me warmly.
"Hello my dear, my name is Ava." She reaches for my hand and takes it in hers.
"You may not know me Beatrice, but I've known you all of your life." Her eyes show sincerity and immediately I know she is genuine. I know she called me my real name on purpose, to show she is not lying.
"You don't have to say anything, I know you've been in a lot of pain. This is just the first opportunity I've had to speak with you alone. Four has been here every waking minute, waiting for you to come round." She lets out a small laugh. "I'll go easy on you and not bombard you with information."
"How do you know me?" I ask, my voice doesn't sound like my own.
"Your mother, Natalie, was a Dauntless born. We have been best friends since we were little. She asked me to watch over you ever since you joined our faction" She looks at me almost motherly.
"I have seen you before, in a picture that's in a frame on Darius' desk."
"Yes, Darius is my husband." She says as if she is talking to a small child. "You seem groggy, Tris. I won't hold you up for too long. I just came to let you know that I think now is the time for me to come clean. Once you're feeling better, I'll send you a note for where to meet us."
"Us?" I ask.
"Yes, there is a small group, we're all your mothers friends actually, that meet. I would really like you to join us. As I said, I have a bit of explaining to do."
She leans towards me and plants a tender kiss on my forehead.
A/N: I would really love and appreciate any reviews/feedback as this is my first fan-fic - I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it! :)