Solace

Chapter 3

"You tired?"

"No."

"Lissy-"

She only laid there with her head on the bar, sniffling slightly. "I'm fine, Bickslow."

"You should go home. Shower. You'll-"

"Mira's dying, Bickslow," she told him with a frown. "Nothing's going to make me feel better."

Kinana, who was standing in front of them cleaning a glass, only stared before bowing her head slightly.

"Laxus has been here since he arrived," she told them softly. "I do not care for him much, but it has been five days now and all he's done is drink some water. At least you go home at night. He just stays up there all day."

"He won't take any food," Evergreen told her from where she was seated. "He won't even talk to anyone, but Makarov and the healer, when she's here."

Bickslow, who was standing behind Lisanna, only moved to lay one of his hands on her shoulder. To Ever though, he said simply, "He knows what he needs. You know how he is. He'll be fine. Toughest guy around. You though, Lisanna-"

"Just leave me alone." She shrugged him off then before standing. The babies, who had been fluttering around close to her most days, as if in a comforting manner, took to following her. "I'll make Laxus something to eat, huh? He'll have to take it if I bring it to him."

"You don't gotta," Bickslow tried. "You-"

"He can't just live off water, Bickslow. I mean, I guess he can, but he shouldn't. He needs to eat." She went to walk around the bar, the babies following. With a sigh, she said, "Guys, go bother Daddy, okay?"

"Mama," they complained, Pappa coming to rest atop her head. "Mira."

Sighing, Evergreen leaned against he bar then, watching the other woman get to work on fixing Laxus a plate of something. "Elfman's up there with him right now. Think I should go up there and check on them? You know they aren't overly friendly towards one antoher."

"They wouldn't misbehave up there with Mira so sick," Bickslow told her, frowning slightly. "Do you think?"

"I dunno," Kiana said, glancing over at the staircase.

"Then neither of you know them too well," Lisanna sighed. Then, glancing at Ever, she said, "But I think they're fine. Elfman only gets fired up when Laxus talks to him. And he isn't speaking to any of us currently. So everything should be just fine, yeah?"

But it wasn't.

Upstairs in the infirmary, Laxus was trying to keep his cool. But it was just so effing hard.

Elfman was sobbing half the time. And the other time, he was standing on the opposite beside of him, staring down at Mirajane. Sometimes he even would reach out to touch her cheek. Laxus didn't want him there to begin with, but to touch her? Touch his demon? When she needed her rest?

It was un-effing-believable.

Elfman didn't even seem to notice Laxus though. He just kept pacing and mumbling and sobbing. Laxus really wanted him to just leave, but saying this would break his vow of silence. Not that it was an official declaration or anything, but hey.

And okay, so maybe Laxus was a little on edge, given the situation and the fact that his stomach was practically collapsing in on itself, but so what? Elfman was annoying even when he wasn't starving and Mira wasn't…

Mira wasn't dying. She just wasn't.

"Laxus."

His name. From the stairs.

"I brought you a plate of food."

He blinked. Lisanna.

"Really, Laxus, you have to eat something. Do you think Mira would rather you go on a hunger strike in her honor and die from it?" She was over to him then, holding a plate of something sizzling in her hands. "Please just eat. Me and Ever, we're worried about you. Mira being sick is bad enough, but you too?"

He didn't want them to worry. They didn't need to worry. They were just stupid women that didn't matter to him. He wouldn't worry about either of them. He'd sacrifice either of them, right then and there, for Mira's life.

So why the hell did they give a damn about him?

He didn't want anyone to care about him. He didn't need anyone to. No one, but Mirajane. And, apparently, their little baby.

She'd already named all the kids they could ever possibly have. She had backup names upon backup names, in case one of their friends got pregnant before her and took one of her names.

According to her, a nice sized family was four children.

"I'm not picky, Laxus, on gender, so long as we at least get one of each," she told him one night as they made dinner. She was over at the stove, mixing up some sort of sauce while he was at the table, resting after just getting home from a lengthy S-Class job. "That has more to do with you though, mister. So don't just give me all girls or all boys."

He blinked. Then, making a face, he said, "I don't control it, demon, you know!"

"I know," she sighed. "But say, if we get to three girls or three boys, then we'll just adopt the last one, huh?"

"Adopt?"

"Mmmhmm. Maybe even a kid with no magic power at all. You know those are less desirable for most people."

"We're most people," he told her with a grumble. "What would we do with a normal kid?"

"Love him just like all our girls. Or love her just like all our boys."

Grunting, he leaned down to rest his head on the table. "Why we gotta have kids anyhow?"

"Uh, Laxus, are you serious right now?"

Grunt.

"Because I want them." She glanced over at him then, turning from her sauce pan. "Do you not?"

It was probably only the seventh month into their dating then. Already Laxus was much farther in than he ever had been with any other woman. Ever.

"I dunno," he grumbled. It was only the first time they'd talked about it and, honestly, one of the rare times he'd thought about it.

"You don't know?" She frowned. "Laxus, if you don't, then we sort of need to talk about this. I mean, I can't rightly be with someone that's not going the same way as me. You know?"

She was making his head hurt.

"So what? If I don't want a kid, then what happens next?"

"Well," she said slowly before looking back down at her sauce pan. "I dunno. I guess…I guess we break up. And I start looking for a guy that does."

"What? Mira-"

"It's for your own good too, Laxus. If we're not going towards marriage, then what's the point? You could be out there screwing all sorts of women like you were before. You know? So-"

"Why can't we just date, Mira? And have fun? Because-"

"We can, Laxus, but if I have a different path for the end of us just dating than you-"

"What you saying? That if I don't have a baby with you eventually, that we'll break up?"

"Well-"

"Fine. Fine! Then I want a kid, alright?"

"Laxus, it doesn't work that way."

He shut his eyes, annoyed with her. "Then how the fuck does it work, Mirajane?"

"Laxus-"

"Huh? Just tell me what-"

"Do you want a kid? Just tell me."

"I don't know," he grumbled. And he didn't. "It just…if it happens, it happens, alright?"

She was coming over to him then, with that big wooden spoon she'd been using to mix up the sauce. There was some on the end of it.

"Taste?"

He opened his mouth, letting her feed him a little. When he nodded his head, she only giggled before rushing back over to the stove. So he'd weathered that baby talk, but it was far from over.

Oh, so very, very far.

At the moment though, he was staring at Lisanna, who was looking right back at him with the same blues as her sister and it was just so aggravating. How could he see Lisanna or Elfman, much less talk to them, when he was trying to come to terms with the fact that those eyes they were sporting? Yeah, he'd never see the real ones again. They were forever closed. And why? Because he was gone? Doing a job? He should have been there. If he was there, there was no way that Mirajane would have gotten hurt.

"I don't want your fucking food." His voice didn't waiver in the slightest, which would have been expected considering how little use it had gotten recently. "So fuck off. Mira's mine. Not yours. Either of you."

Lisanna just stared at him in shock, but her brother was always quick to anger.

"Where do you get off?" Elfman growled, bucking up almost immediately. Laxus only stayed seated though, having never taken his eyes off Mirajane. "She's our sister. We're more related to her than you ever will be! You-"

"Elfman," Lisanna whispered, though her eyes stayed glued to her comatose sister's boyfriend. "Don't yell. Mira-"

"She needs us here more than she'll ever need you."

Laxus wouldn't look at him though. He kept his eyes right there on his girlfriend as he said, "You got five seconds to get out of my sight before I put you in a worst state than your sister."

Lisanna had to literally pull her big brother out of the room (though that was physically impossible by all accords, it was fairly obvious that Elfman was just giving into her like usual). Laxus didn't even lift his head. Only sat there next to his girlfriend. Lisanna did leave the plate of food on the ground, next to Laxus' chair however, just in case he changed his mind.

"You gotta get up, Mira," he whispered after they were long gone, reaching out to pick up her hand. It felt cold in his, so he stroked it some, as if to warm her. "I can't deal with these people without you."

And for their baby. He was starting to come to terms with that one. That they would be having one. If she woke up. If she didn't, well, Porlyusica said if she stayed in the state she was currently, she might be able to carry the baby to term, but more than likely they would lose both of them during birth.

What would he do with his life then? If…if he lost both of them? Before he even got one of them?

Now, Laxus would admit, if karma was real, he was definitely someone with some bad juju out there. But to hurt Mirajane because of it? That was just sick. He'd sacrifice himself for her, that second. That kid inside her too. His kid.

His…

"Do you not want kids because you're scared that you'll be like Ivan?"

That was what Mirajane asked him one day, as they snuggled up on his couch. They were over at his place, as it was easier to be alone there, though they hadn't done anything too interesting. Just shared his headphones and a bowl of popcorn.

When she said that though, he almost spit the popcorn in his mouth right back out. He was suave enough to play it off though and swallow it.

"Shut up, Mira," he mumbled as she only snuggled back more against him. She was seated in his lap as they stretched out on the couch. She was everything to him, fine, but no one talked about his father. No one.

"Is it? Because it won't be like that, Laxus. You know that. You-"

"Did I fucking say to shut up, demon?"

"Ivan was a bad man, Laxus, but you're not. And you have your grandfather to thank for that. So maybe-"

He literally threw her from his lap then, though that was more to get away from her.

"Laxus-"

"Get the fuck out," he grumbled as he headed to his bedroom. Damn demon.

When he got into bed though, of course he was joined by a very remorseful Mirajane. And he used that to his advantage. Duh. So after he got some touching (and some more) out of her, he thought the whole thing was finished.

Far from it.

"You're not anything like Ivan, Laxus," she whispered as he was drifting off. She was snuggled up to him, one hand reaching up to gently trace his tattoo. "I love you. How could I love someone that was evil?"

"Mira-"

"We should be able to talk about everything, Laxus. Even our fam-"

"You wanna talk family, demon? Huh? Fine. Fucking fine." He was getting heated and she slowly stilled her hand, no longer tracing the intricate lines of his tribal ink. "Ivan used me, Mirajane. He wanted that lacrima to grow inside of me so that he could harvest it later. He didn't give a damn what it did to me. And then he tried, he still tries, to destroy Gramps every fucking day of his life. Gramps is the only one that ever helped me. Ever. So I'm so sorry if I don't want to bring another kid into my fucked up family, but-"

"But Laxus, you wouldn't be like that. I know you wouldn't. You're sweet. You-"

"To you, Mira. But-"

"And the baby would be a part of me. And a part of you. And we all know you love yourself more than anything."

"Demon-"

"But," she continued as she shifted, resting a hand against his chest as she pushed up so that she could stare down into his eyes. "You loved your mother, huh? When she was alive?"

"Shut up, Mira. I don't-"

"Did you? You've never mentioned-"

"'cause I didn't fucking know her, alright? So just drop it." He shifted out from under her before rolling onto his side. "I'm not cut out to have kids, Mira. I'm hateful, I hurt people, and I get angry over the simplest of things. I'm not better than Ivan. You're the only family I need. You, Gramps, and…Fairy Tail. But a kid isn't for me. So if-"

"I know that's not trust though." She took to snuggling up against his back then. "Laxus, you might be all of those things that you mentioned, yeah, alright, but you're more than that. You care about things. Like me, the Thunder God Tribe, your grandfather. And you'd kill yourself to protect Fairy Tail. You nearly have before, in the past. And okay, you have a temper. But not with me, huh? You let me get away with practically everything. So what's to say that it wouldn't be the same way with our child?"

"Mira-"

"You don't think that I question myself too? It's not like I was always such a great person," she told him, breathing softly against his back. "And neither were you. But now… You're not Ivan, Laxus. And fine, you're not Makarov either, but that's just because you're you. Okay?"

No. Back in the infirmary, it wasn't okay. It would never be okay. Not until Mira was okay.

Laxus let got of her hand before gently laying it back at her side. Then he leaned over in his seat, so that he could kiss her cheek.

"We're gonna have a baby, Mira. And then we're gonna get married. Big wedding even. Whatever you want," he whispered in her ear. "And then I'll buy us a house, okay? Us and the baby. And we'll have more babies. You said four is enough? Then we'll have four, huh? Five even, if you want. Twenty. I don't care. Whatever you want, Mira. I promise. Just be okay. So we can be happy."

And then he gave her another kiss, real gentle, before setting back in his seat. And after a sigh, he moved to pick up that plate and at least eat a little. Because when Mira did wake up, he'd need his strength about him. Wasting away her absence was not an option.