Chapter 12
My lungs burn from the exertion.
I sprint past derelict buildings, some I recognise and some I don't. I haven't stopped running since I left the compound.
It wasn't easy to escape. Guards were patrolling the entrance, not only do we now protect the fence but our own compound, it seems.
This frightens me.
They aren't stopping people from coming in, but stopping people from going out.
The night is dull and grey, I'm unsure of what time it is but I would assume late evening.
The freedom of being able to go and do what I want after the tests began is a breath of fresh air, quite literally.
I run towards the only place I know I won't be found, the train.
I pass The Hub, my pace slowing as I see the place I went almost every day. The place I made my decision to join the Dauntless faction.
Do I regret my decision? No. I would never have fallen for Tobias or met my friends. I know that whatever happens and whatever Darius' plans are, he can never take those things away from me. That is the greatest security and protection I could ever need.
Although I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had stayed in Abnegation. Would I be dead now because the attacks would have gone through?
I know I am not selfless enough for Abnegation. I know I am not always honest enough to be Candor. I am not always peaceful enough to be a part of Amity. I am not smart enough to be Erudite. But am I brave enough to be Dauntless?
It intrigues me the way in which Dauntless prove braveness.
I agree we must be the strongest as we have to protect others. But, there are so many different and complex acts of bravery that can't be in one category.
Is it not brave to always speak your mind, even when other may not want to hear it?
Is it not brave to always be selfless, to give yourself up for another so willingly?
Is it not brave to always be happy, even when there are things around you that you don't agree with?
Is it not brave to always be knowledgeable, even though that knowledge may harm you?
Would only a Divergent think like this?
I can't help but think that even though we are all in different factions that represent different things we are all human. We all wake up exactly the same as one another.
I ascend the steel poles that hold up the train tracks.
I hear the low rumble of the oncoming train before I actually see it. I begin to run adjacent to the tracks, looking behind me every so often to see how quickly it's catching me up.
When it finally runs along next to me, I miss the first, second and third door but manage to press the button and swing my leg up and into the fourth carriage.
I sink to my knees next to the door, the wind still whipping my hair into my face.
I feel myself relax for the first time in a long time. I let my eyes close for a just a second, grateful for the peacefulness and the gentle sway of the train.
I jolt awake, realising I must have fallen asleep for a long time. My mouth is extremely dry and it's now pitch black outside the train doors. I wonder what exactly woke me up.
Being a very light sleeper, I awake even from the smallest toss or turn from Tobias.
I rise as steadily as I can, my legs trembling after being crouched down on the uncomfortable train floor. Falling asleep was a stupid move, but I can't help the elated feeling I have of finally being away from the compound with Darius watching my every move.
Pulling my leather jacket closer around my body, I look into the carriage behind me and see nothing. When I turn to the carriage in front of me, a shadow is there and disappears in the blink of an eye. I feel as if it could be my eyes deceiving me but I could swear it was a crop of brown hair. Panic tears through me as I realise whoever was on the train probably saw me alone. I push the fear away by thinking that if someone really wanted to hurt me, they would have had their perfect opportunity.
I internally scold myself for being so paranoid. I blame solely Darius. This person could have been innocently riding the train in the next carriage and didn't even know I was here. Yes, it's a little odd to be doing that in the middle of the night. But I'm here, right? Stranger things have happened.
I decide the easiest way to enter the compound is by the initiates entrance. Jumping off the ledge and onto the net at the bottom is an enjoyment I didn't think I would ever feel again.
I hope the patrol staff will have decreased in size due to it being the nightshift. I'm quite surprised Darius hasn't asked anybody to follow or come looking for me. He probably doesn't care, he will make me factionless one way or another.
With my head peering out of the carriage, I see the seven storey high buildings come into focus and I wait for the right moment.
I land onto the hard concrete and immediately feel the tear of skin on my knee. I definitely need more practice at jumping off of trains.
It's exceptionally gusty as I step onto the ledge and I can feel myself losing balance a few times. I begin to question whether there is still a net at the bottom or whether Darius has already taken it out.
Guess I'll have to be brave and see.
As I leap off the ledge, I feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It's a feeling I will never forget and one I wish to experience many more times. This true thrill of excitement is what led me here in the first place.
I fall hard into the net and bounce back up a couple of times, laughing hysterically. I lay there for I don't know how long but I feel content.
A splash of rain hits me directly in the forehead and before I know it, I'm soaked through. I really don't care.
"What do you think you're doing?" The loud boom of his voice startles me.
I look up to see a middle-aged bald man with more tattoos and piercings than exposed flesh coming towards me looking extremely angry.
"I needed fresh air, this is as best that I can get" I lie. He looks at me suspiciously.
"Okay, I need to direct you back to your room immediately. Show me where your living quarters are." Yep, I'm definitely not a Candor.
He grabs me by the elbow as I direct him towards Tobias' apartment, hoping he doesn't know who actually lives there. I'm pretty sure at this moment in time I am supposed to be in my own apartment where they can keep me accounted for.
When we reach the front door, we pause for a moment as the man turns to the camera in the corridor and makes a signal. I hear a loud clicking noise and he reaches out, turns the doorknob and pushes me through like a mail order. He shuts it behind him and with my back to the apartment, the clicking begins again. I'm scared of what I already know, but as I turn the doorknob my suspicions are confirmed. We're locked in.
I turn to see Tobias sitting on the bed, elbows on his knees, raking his hands through his hair.
"Where have you been?" He asks through gritted teeth, his hands balling into fists. Wow, he is angry.
"I escaped to get some fresh air." I say simply, if I say where or exactly what happened I'm afraid I may just be adding fuel to the already blazing fire.
"Tris for God's sake, you can't just keep running off from me to clear your head. It frightens me. Come and talk to me about it like we're supposed to do." His hands are shaking.
Feeling like an errant child, I explain, "Sorry Tobias, I'm just scared. I failed the test." This immediately stops him in his tracks.
"So you're factionless now? No way, this can't be happening." He picks up the light on his nightstand and launches it to the opposite time of the room. The loud clatter it makes shocks me.
"Actually, no, Darius said he didn't expect anything less from me and that he will make an exception." I explain.
"Is that a good thing?"
"I've got no idea. My guess, probably not."
He lets out a long sigh.
"So, we're locked in. I bet you've been going crazy."
"Yes I have actually, and not knowing where the hell you've been hasn't exactly helped. They've even locked the windows." He lets out a small, nervous laugh.
I wrap my arms around him and we forget every negative emotion felt towards each other.
At least we have each other.
"So, how did your test go?" I ask.
"You're not supposed to ask that question." He says with mock seriousness.
"Because I've always played by the rules…" This makes him laugh.
"I passed, actually."
This throws me off completely, I know we won't have had the same landscapes but surely there must have been some similarity so that Darius can get a set of certain results.
"Oh." I decide to question him later. I lie down on the bed, thankful to be back in familiarity.
That's when I see it. In the corner of the room, a red light occasionally flickering.
Tobias' gaze instantly follows mine and he rises to inspect further.
"It seems to me like we are being watched."