Okay so I think I've had enough follows and favourites that I can upload this chapter. I don't think I'm going to upload again before I have a few chapters written out, so that I don't have to stress about uploading, seeing as my other stories need attending to as well. I hope you understand.

So here is chapter 1 of the Holiday. Emma-centered. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1
The Announcement

Emma finished her story quickly, re-reading it for any mistakes or lines she hated. As usual, there were a bunch. Ugh, she had to completely rewrite the entire beginning. Groaning, she deleted the entire first paragraph and started to rewrite it.

"Do you ever stop working?" Against her will, she started grinning at the smooth voice behind her. She turned around, chuckling at his teasing face. God, he was still handsome. Blond hair, brown eyes, an ever-present smirk. "What's it like? Working while the rest of us is just...getting drunk?" Neal jerked his head to the main hall where everyone was singing along – quite off-key – to a Christmas song she hated like all other Christmas songs. Christmas songs equalled loneliness and loneliness equalled pain, and Emma didn't quite handle pain well.

"You mean, not finishing their work on time. Just a second, Neal, don't go." She turned back to her computer and quickly finished up, sending her story to the main office. Then she turned back around. The smile was still plastered on his face.

"Hey, Duckling." Neal said, looking down to his feet while biting his lip in that cute, shy way he always did.

"Hey." she smiled. "Oh! I saw your story this morning, it was brilliant! I loved that line, ehm..." She pressed her fingers to her forehead to call it up. "Love is our purpose, and purpose is what created us, it's purpose that connects us, purpose that pulls us, that guides us, that drives us, it is purpose that defines us, purpose that binds us. Wonderful writing."Even though she disagreed quite strongly with the statement, she couldn't help but compliment him. It was pathetic, she knew that. But her mind kept going over and over the question whether he would take her back if she was kind enough, flirty enough, paid him enough compliments...Regina was right, she really was pathetic.

"Yeah, I know." Neal said, smiling and Emma beamed, at the same time that her head was scolding her. He wasn't thanking her, he was being a smug son of a bitch like always, and she shouldn't be happy. She shouldn't. But she was. "Oh, by the way, I bought you a Christmas present!"

Emma's entire face lit up. Finally. "Oh, that's a coincidence, I bought you one as well!" And she produced the neatly wrapped present from her desk. His face fell a bit, but he produced a grin the next moment.

"Oh darling, I don't actually have my gift with me. I imagine it's somewhere in my car, do you want to know what it is?"

Of course. Of freaking course. He hadn't bought her a gift at all. Why had she even hoped that he would? Why had he even brought it up? Her face fell a bit, but she recovered enough to smile. "No, no, that's alright." She handed him her present, which he somehow still deserved. "I didn't actually think we'd get to do this this year. Remember last Christmas, we exchanged gifts in March! This is good. We're making progress."

He smiled at her, and then began unwrapping his gift with greedy eyes. He gasped when he saw what he was holding. "You stinker." Emma giggled. He was holding the original Beauty and the Beast story. He gasped even more. "It's a first edition! However did you get it?"

"It was buried in that little place we found in Covent Garden that time."

He sighed, clutching the book to his chest as he looked at her with grateful eyes. She lived for that look sometimes. "Why are you so great?"

Honestly, she wasn't great. She was fucked up, she was scarred. But he always seemed to see the best in her, just when she needed to hear it. And as always, his compliments, however rare, brought a immensely stupid smile on her face, as if she were some infatuated teenager. Just then Robin called for attention outside, and their conversation was regrettably cut short.

He looked at her with that searing, intense look he had sometimes and smiled. "I hate it that we can never talk."

She shouldn't hate it. She should be happy that their talking time together was getting lesser and lesser by the day. Yet she replied, "Hate it."

What if this conversation had lasted a bit longer? Would he maybe have kissed her? There was no use in pondering over that. Smiling, she followed him outside, and moved forward a bit in the crowd as Robin made his speech.

"Well, first of all, a very happy Christmas to you all – " The crowd chimed 'Happy Christmas' back to him and he smiled that roguish smile that Regina always swooned over. " – now we aren't officially closed for the holiday, as you very well know – " A few people groaned, and Robin lifted his glass in recognition of the brave few that would stay for Christmas. " – but we are trying to get by with a smaller than usual staff. However, before you all rush off on your holidays, I have one rather important announcement to make. Seeing as our subject of the month is 'Holiday love', this will give all of you a good inspiration boost for your next stories." He took a swig of his champagne, his eyes locking with Regina's for just a second before continuing on with his story. Emma looked over her shoulder, expecting to find Neal behind her, but he was gone. Her heart dropped. He never stayed with her to chat. Always had to talk to others as well. "A wedding was privately announced earlier today, and I hope you all are inspired to write about it for it is between two of our most esteemed colleagues; Tamara Wilson and Neal Cassidy!"

Emma's heart broke again. Neal was engaged? And he didn't tell her? How could he? Tears threatened in her eyes as all sound around her faded to a dull hum. She saw Neal standing up there with his arm around the brownhaired woman who was beaming and showing off her – enormous – engagement ring. She had to go home, now. She couldn't break down, not here, not where Neal could see her. If anything, she didn't want him to know the effect he had on her. How he was still holding her heart and crushing it with each passing day. His eyes crossed hers, and she smiled encouragingly, pretending she was happy for him. In reality, she was dying.

Gasping for breath to steel herself, she pushed her way through the crowd, grabbing her red coat, her gray beanie and her woollen scarf, while she packed herself in for the cold winter weather outside. She couldn't stay here a minute longer. She was going home and loose herself in chocolate and crying. Without saying goodbye to anyone, she left the office and headed straight for the train station.

She managed to keep herself together throughout the entire train ride and the walk to her little cottage in the country, all the while breaking her head over why he wouldn't tell her, why he would marry that tramp in the first place. She opened her front door with a blank look on her face, and it wasn't until she'd locked it behind her nice and tight and she was greeted by her little dog, the only thing that could console her a bit, that she lost it.

Emma Swan cried her eyes out.

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