Chapter Twenty

She noted the obvious breeze against her frozen cheeks. The night was not kind to their travels, but Rin was content despite her discomfort. Being carried by the man she had loved since that fateful day in which she had spotted Sesshomaru wounded in a crowd of her village's trees when she had been a mere child in her first body, made her feel at peace once again, but not so much for Miho. Rin could sense the discomfort of Miho's soul stirring within the confines of the foreign heart beating steadily within her chest. Although Rin was very much comfortable with being in the protective arms of her mate, she knew for a fact that Miho wanted nothing to do with him, which left Rin feeling detached.

Yes…she could touch him and feel the heat of his skin beneath her hands and understand that it was him that she was feeling…but the hands in which she was using to feel him were not hers. It felt so wrong to be so close to Sesshomaru without using her own skin to come in contact with his. It made her aware of just how jealous she was that Miho's hands were the ones touching him, and not her own. She only had control of what those hands could do, but she refused to do more than stroke his cheek. It even pained her to know that whenever he gazed into her eyes, they were not truly her eyes he was seeing. Had my body not been taken from my own control, than I would not have allowed him to touch me so intimately…regardless of your connection with him. Rin bowed her head in understanding as Miho's voice echoed in her brain from the darkness.

Rin closed her eyes to shield them from the sting of the frigid night air. The seasons were in the midst of changing, making their two day journey a bit more difficult. I have restrained myself only for your sake, Miho. Please understand…even though for me it has been the blink of an eye in the passage of time, my Lord Sesshomaru has suffered greatly since I had been murdered. Surely you have seen this in his eyes?

Miho took a few moments to respond. Now that you have been awakened, Rin, I have access to every connection that my body has made with you. I have witnessed your memories and studied your bloodied childhood while you control every aspect of my being. I have seen the pain that you have suffered…and I have seen the pain that lurks within Sesshomaru's eyes. Your death must have shaken him to his very core because he has simply refused to let my body down, even for a second since we left my old home. Your love, and his, is so powerful and so prominent that it scares me. I have never encountered such strong feelings about a man before and it is very disconcerting. There was a long pause before Rin heard Miho continue. Your love for each other was so indisputable that…a child had been conceived from your union.

Although it was not her body, Rin cried aloud as an unmistakable stab of pain tore an imaginary hole into Miho's abdomen. The pain was so familiar that she automatically assumed that she was about to perish once again from the same wound that had killed her the last time.

Sesshomaru, who had been carrying her in his arms while they flew through the night sky, charged for the earth when Rin's cry cut into his concentration. Once on the ground, he crouched and laid the scrunched up woman onto a cleared dirt path and examined her closely. "What is it? What's wrong, Rin?"

She heard his voice through the pain, but she refused to unclench her jaw for fear that she might scream. The stabbing sensation within her stomach ripped through her, making its way throughout Miho's entire body until she experience the ominous cold sweat and burning fever of illness. What's…happening to me? "OH!" Another stab raked through her stomach, tearing an imaginary hole into her which mirrored her murder wound. This time, along with the agony of it, bile rose from the pit of her stomach and into the back of her throat. With no effort whatsoever, Rin leaped from Sesshomaru's space and wretched up what felt and tasted like everything she had eaten and drunk in the past week behind the protection of a well placed shrubbery just out of Sesshomaru's eyesight.

"RIN!" Sesshomaru stared after her, overtaken by momentary horror. That body…is beginning to reject their souls! They were doing so well before now…what changed?

While the contents of Miho's stomach splattered onto the frozen earth, Rin struggled to overcome the overwhelming agony that took control of the lower half of Miho's body. For one single span of sixty seconds, rolling waves of raw and excruciating pain tore her insides to shreds until Rin was sure that death had come calling to drag her soul back to the depths of the underworld…and just as quickly as the pain had started, it was gone, leaving Rin in the bouts of several dry heaves before she gathered her wits. Although her fever was still present, the pain and nausea had dissipated.

Rin held onto the fragile limbs of the unfortunate bush that had sustained the most damage from her sudden attack. Her chest and throat burned as if she had swallowed acid while she clung to one branch, appearing shock white and clammy, and her head throbbed from being denied oxygen during her sick episode. Gasping for breath, she looked over her shoulder and caught sight of a started demon lord. Sesshomaru was watching her as if she might explode at any second. "I-I'm…so sorry, Lord Sesshomaru!" It was an even greater struggle to reclaim control over Miho's vocal cords after the sudden attack of illness than it was to turn around and stumble back over to her beautiful mate. "I didn't mean t-to get sick like that…I don't know what came over me…" She felt her cheeks warm with embarrassment beneath the heat of the fever that was obviously refusing to go away.

Before she even made it to within a foot of him, her mind began to swirl. Seconds later, she collapsed, falling forward into the soft pillow of Sesshomaru's fur. The great demon lord wrapped her in a secure embrace and placed his cool hand against Miho's heated flesh. "Rin…can you still hear me?"

Rin forced Miho's head to nod, but only slightly. She found her voice, though it was weak and very frail. "Something…is…" She scrunched up her sheet white face. "…happening to me, my Lord…"

"Tell me what happened, Rin?" Sesshomaru ignored the fact that it was Miho's skin that he was touching tenderly. Both women had obviously suffered from this sudden malady and all he could do was calm them both down enough to tell him.

She didn't think it was possible, but Rin was certain that Miho's body doubled in temperature from remembering what had happened before she vomited. Oh, Lord Sesshomaru… "Miho was recalling some of my memories of us…and of the brief period of time in which I had been…carrying our…child…" The guilt of that memory hurt worse than the recollection of the dagger that had plunged into her womb.

The deafening silence that followed her confession made her ears want to explode. Weakly, Rin opened her foreign eyelids and tilted her head up. She had not expected Sesshomaru to be returning her gaze, but he was.

Sesshomaru had avoided this subject for decades for fear that the pain of it might suck the very life out of him. He knew that his anger was expected and than his sadness was normal despite being a demon, but now that Rin was once again with him, he was petrified to discuss what could have been, what might have been had she not have died by the hands of Sakuya. It took everything inside of him to reign in his emotions and keep his eyes vacant. The last thing he desired was to cause Rin more agony than what she was experiencing now. "We need not talk of this now, Rin. You need rest." He leaned forward and readjusted her in his arms until her legs were hooked securely and he picked her up from the ground. It startled him of just how much weight Miho's body had lost in those terrifying minutes.

Scared that she might fall, Rin draped one of her arms around his neck and hung on to him until they were up in the air once again. She knew he was right and that she needed to rest after being sick, but for some reason, she felt as if Sesshomaru had deliberately avoided the topic of their deceased child. "Why did you not tell me that I was pregnant before you left me that morning?" It was a question she had never thought to ask, mainly because she didn't have the time to think of it before she had bled to death, but after her awakening in the last few weeks, she finally had the opportunity to think on it.

Sesshomaru took an agonizingly long period of time to answer her, though he never looked down when he did so. "Because I wanted to tell you at a time when I did not have to leave you so suddenly." His voice clearly held the sadness that Rin was not so sure that he possessed. It filled her heart with the same emotion, along with a slight spark of elation that he had really wanted to celebrate it. "I…also wanted time to…understand what it meant to me…what you meant to me, and our…child."

Rin's heart sank. "D-did you n-not want to have a child, Lord Sesshomaru?" She bowed her head to hide her disappointment. "Or were you disappointed because our child would have been born a half demon?"

"Don't you ever think that!" Sesshomaru didn't hesitate, which caught her off guard. For the first time since they had taken off into the air to continue their journey, he looked down and forced one of his clawed hands to hook beneath her chin and bring her watery eyes up to face his. Despite knowing it was Miho's eyes he was seeing, he saw Rin's light shining brightly behind them, and it made him wish that he could somehow magically bring Rin back into her original state so that he might hold her for real. "I never once thought, in the short span of time that I was aware of our child's existence, that I would despise any children that we might have had together just because you were human! And I never will!"

Rin studied the fire brimming fiercely within his molten gold eyes. Sesshomaru was displaying nothing but complete sincerity, and she wanted nothing more than to live the rest of her existence with him just as they were now, in this moment…but given her current circumstances, that was unlikely. "You are acting as if we might have another opportunity to have a child."

Sesshomaru offered her a rare smile, though this one didn't reach his eyes. "For right now, all I want is to escape reality with you and never come back. But given that it is not possible, then we need to continue on until we reach our home."

"You are hiding something from me, Lord Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru said nothing and looked away from her to keep his eye on their destination.

Rin studied the hard lines on his face. "I…I'm going to die again…aren't I?" Sesshomaru remained silent, confirming what she had already known from the beginning of her awakening. "Why are you taking me back home, then? Did you think that it would comfort me, seeing the place where I had been murdered last?"

Sesshomaru swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. The emotions that Rin was forcing out him made him uncomfortable, maybe even annoyed. "The room in which you had died had been destroyed not long after. Jaken had the entire side of the property rebuilt so that no one would have to be reminded of the pain of losing you." He paused and looked down at Rin's stunned face. "That is not entirely true…Jaken had that side rebuilt so that…I would not have to be reminded of the pain…but it didn't matter. No matter where I had gone in our home, I remembered you, Rin."

Rin felt the heated tears fall from Miho's eyes and down her cheeks. "My lord…why are you not denying that I am going to die again?"

Sesshomaru finally provided an answer, though it didn't help ease her suffering. "Because…I don't know what will happen to you in this body." He heaved a heavy sigh. "Your body was never burned, Rin."

Stunned, Rin could only stare at Sesshomaru with her lower jaw hanging loose.

"I had your body preserved in herbal oils and spices so that it would not wither away. Rin, your body was healed of the wounds that you had received from Sakuya. As of right now, it is still preserved in a bath at our home, waiting for you to be returned to it."

Rin blinked several times while trying to process this new information. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Sesshomaru swallowed another lump that had formed in his throat, devastated that he might hurt her with what he had to say next. "Because…you are dying, Rin. Miho…her body is fighting to contain you both. The weight of your soul and hers in this vessel is killing you both as we speak. My only chance at saving you both is to transfer your soul back into your own body, Rin."

With her response, Sesshomaru heard the struggle in Miho's voice. "You knew this was going to happen to me?"

"I had no idea that you would inhabit a body that held another soul along with your own. I had asked Kaeda to preserve your body in the hopes that someday, I would find you again and that it would be possible to resurrect you into your previous form."

Rin knew the rest before it could be spoken. "Unless my soul is removed from Miho's body and put back into my own, we will both die?"

Sesshomaru bowed his head, indicating that it was true.

Rin didn't hear her speak in her mind, but she was fully aware that Miho knew exactly what was going on. I…I'm so sorry, Miho...it's all my fault…

Author's Note: Greetings, everyone! Here is a new chapter just for you! I had a great 25th birthday! My boyfriend took me out to dinner and took me to see Les Misérables, which was spectacular to say the least. I cried almost the entire movie. Just a note, Les Misérables is by Victor Hugo and is one of my favorite books and my absolute favorite Broadway musical of all time. If you haven't already, go see it because it a wonderful show!

Anyway, as always, I hope that you guys enjoy this new chapter! Thank you for the wonderful reviews and birthday wishes!

OliviaAR

P.S.- I have joined another fanficion site, you guys! My pen name is the exact same as it is here and the site is called archive of our own dotorg, (no spaces and add a dot between own and org. "A Small Twist of Fate" is posted on that site with the completed Chapter 23, which is the one that has the lemon. If you haven't already read it and want to, go find me there!